The Funeral: Part 1
*Nick*
"Are you ready, Nick?!"
I ran the brush through my long hair. "Almost!" I took one look at myself in the mirror and sighed. I couldn't believe this was happening. I never, in all my life, thought I'd be going to my own little sister's funeral. I always pictured her going to mine.
But no. I was going to her funeral. This was ridiculous. She was a little girl, barely sixteen. My sister.
'I'm not ready for this.'
And yet, what could I do? Jump out of the window? Hide in my pile of beer cans? What kind of brother would that make me?
I peeked over at the note, the last words of Danielle Miller. I swallowed back tears and picked it up, folded it, and placed it gently in my pocket.
I squared my shoulders and walked out of my room to, for the first time in what seemed to be millions of years, have an actual conversation with my mother.
***
*Mom*
I straightened the skirt of my knee-length black dress for the hundredth time. "What kind of mother am I?!" was the only words that I could think. The sick cycle played through my head like annoying carousel music until Nick hurried up to me.
"Hello...Mom," he said unexpectedly, stretching out the word "Mom" like he hadn't used it in awhile. I put my hand on his shoulder as tears swam in my eyes.
"M-My boy..." I licked my lips and felt a tear roll down my cheek. "My beautiful boy. You-You-You're all I have left..."
With that, I threw my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. "Oh, Mom," Nick whispered, before he began crying too. Together we sobbed all over each other for at least five minutes, not saying a word. But this was all I needed, to know we forgave and understood one another.
"Ok, now you're freaking me out a little," I heard my son say, and I managed a laugh before replying, "I'm s-sorry, I thought this was...a moment..."
Nick chuckled a little bit and let me go. "I know, it was." But then his voice got serious. "And...Mom, I know you probably think this is all your fault and I'm not saying it is, or isn't. But you mentioned other names?"
"Yes!" I said, picking up the guest book and showing him. "And one of them's a...Sean Anderson. Remember him?"
Nick's voice reached a deadly low, one I'd never, ever heard him use before. "Ah, yes. I...remember."
***
*Sean*
Warm water showered onto my skin from the shower head. I tried not to think about Danielle just for this moment. For some reason I always calmed down in the shower.
But not today. As I squirted conditioner in my sandy colored hair, I could only think about what events had taken place in the last few days. My love had killed herself. I broke up with Ashley. Lucy went crazy.
All because of me.
'What am I going to tell her Mom? Her brother?' I thought worriedly. Oh God. This was the worst week of my life. Everything had gone to shit because I broke Danielle. If I'd just told her what she meant to me, she'd still be alive.
I rinsed off, turned off the water, and stepped out. I wrapped a white towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom.
"Sean!!" Dad's voice called me. I gulped and walked into the living room. He held out a black suit and said, "Put this on. We leave in two hours."
I simply nodded, grabbed it, and walked to my room. I opened the door and threw the suit on my bed. Then, I sat down on beside it and held my head in my hands.
I sniffed a little and dried off, then got dressed. Once I was done, I came out of my room and went up to Mom. "Is my tie straight?" I asked.
"No, sweetie. Here, let me fix it." As she straightened it into place, I wondered if Danielle could see all of this from..."above". Not like I believed in any God or heaven or hell at this point. If there was one, how come he'd let such an innocent young girl die?!
"All done. My, you do look handsome, Sean," Mom whispered, clapping her hands together. "I hope you will look so good when you marry Ashley!"
My brows furrowed. "Yeah. Riiiight." I grabbed my neatly folded note from Danielle off of the kitchen table and put it in my pocket.
I mean, of course I hadn't told my mom about my feelings for Danielle or my break up with Ashley. She wouldn't understand, no one would.
I sighed and picked up my written speech, and for the millionth time, rehearsed it.
***
*Ashley*
I sat on my bed, watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. Not even the pervy humor could cheer me up. Now that I knew I had caused a girl to die, I couldn't smile or laugh or ever feel good about myself.
I barely noticed my mom open the door and say, "Ashley? You've got two hours before the funeral. Get ready, sweetheart."
The Funeral. Oh God. I felt a tear roll down just at the mention of it. It was all my fault! Danielle, just my age, killing herself! All. My. Fault.
I noticed that Mom was still there. I just nodded. Mom took that as an answer, sighed, and closed my door.
I got up and went to the bathroom. I had a super big house and all of us had our own bathrooms and T.Vs. But what did that matter? Money didn't help the fact that I was a killer.
I picked out an ankle-length black dress with spaghetti straps and a long-sleeved black sweater to go over it. I put them on and then opened my makeup cabinet and pulled out some dark purple lipstick.
I put two layers on and then some sparkly purple eyeshadow and some black mascara. There, all done with that.
Then I put my hip-length auburn hair into a ponytail and looked at myself in a mirror that was literally as big as me.
But it the first time in my life, I didn't feel pretty or special. I felt dark, empty, ugly, unwanted. With Danielle's death, I'd lost everything - my self confidence, my friends, my supporters, my boyfriend...all of it. Not like it mattered. It was all my doing.
After I had been thinking about it for a while, I went to my giant closet to decide on shoes.
***
*Lucy*
'Danielle. Danielle. Danielle. Dead dead dead. Gone gone gone. All bye bye. Danielle is all gone now. Lucy only has Lucy. No one else. Only need Lucy.'
'But Lucy need to get ready now. Big day today. Funeral for Danielle. Are funerals parties? Celebrations of dying? Well how would Lucy know?! Lucy not gone yet!'
'Lucy need to stop thinking. Lucy need to get dressed! Dressed in Lucy's dress!
Lucy stood up and went to the closet. Can't decide on what dress to wear. But it has to be black. A big black dress. Lucy smiled and grabbed a long-sleeved black dress that went to her knees! Such a pretty dress. Lucy needed to look so pretty in a pretty dress.
Lucy skipped to the bathroom down the hall and put it on. Oooh Lucy liked it! Its so flowy. When Lucy twirled it poofed up! "Hahahahahahahahahaha!" Lucy laughed.
Then she walked in! A older looking Lucy! She said to get ready and to stop fooling around! So Lucy stabbed her arm with a toothpick! "Hahahahahaha!"
"Ouch! Lucy! That hurts! Stop!" Lucy let go and pulled out the toothpick. Mommy shut the door, crying. Oh silly Mommy. She never will understand. Lucy is funny! Just being funny! Lucy is so...hilarious! Ahahahahahaha!
Now Lucy plugged in the hair straightener and put on some black lipstick. Ooh! Shiny black lipstick! Stick lips? Lip sticks?
Then some black mascara. All done now! And the straightener was nice and hot! Hahaha! Lucy loooves hot things! Nice and toasty, good for burning things! Lucy picked it up and straightened Lucy's pretty blondie hair!
Oh no! Lucy looked at the clock - it was 6:45 and that meant Lucy only had ten minutes! Oh noo! Lucy finished with Lucy's hair and picked up some black high-heels. Wow, everything was black! The dress, shoes, makeup, glasses...
Lucy giggled and grabbed Lucy's phone. Then Lucy ran down stairs! Time to go to the funeral!
***
*Mom*
I finally arrived at the funeral with Nick. It was a dark, cloudy day, kind of like when someone died in a movie. But this was real. God knew I kept pinching myself to wake up.
Nick was fiddling with his thumbs when we got out of my car. I took his hand in mine, for the first time since he was a child, and led him to the grave, that would soon hold the coffin of my little girl. I sniffled and stood up straight, trying not to cry.
"It'll be ok, Mom," Nick whispered, an I turned to him. He looked as glassy-eyed as I probably did. I felt my bottom lip quiver and he quickly embraced me in a warm hug.
It was barely an hour before the people began to arrive. Mostly family, but soon some children came. Sean, who Danielle had hung out with when she was thirteen, and two other young girls I'd never seen before.
I didn't listen to the pastor that spoke, I only thought of her, my Danielle. My precious Danielle. I loved her and never even told her. I never told myself, either. I let hatred cloud my vision. All because of one mistake I made: dating that Paul.
Oh God. I let my head hang down as tears uncontrollably dropped from my eyes. Nick grasped my shoulders and pulled me closer. "N-Nick," I whispered.
"Shhh, it'll be okay, Mom, we'll survive this," he replied quietly. I began shaking as Nick held me. I don't know how long I'd been in that position, but after a while, I heard the pastor say, "Would anyone like to come up and speak?"
I wanted to reply. I wanted to cry out, "Yes! Me!" But my lips wouldn't move.
After moments of silence, Sean's voice piped up. "Can I?"
***
Hey guys, its me! Your Royal Geek!!!
Sorry for the ungodly amount of time I've been making you wait for this. I know, it's not over. The chapter got so long, I decided to divide them into 2 parts!
I know. "UGGHHH!!"
But don't worry, I'll finish the other part today. I swear. Or I'll shoot myself in the knee! (ouch)
Anyways. Hope you've enjoyed it so far...
~YourRoyalGeek~