Her stomach had begun to swell, a large bump which protruded from her body, as if she were a harboring a balloon beneath her skin. She cringed at her reflection, painfully aware of how uncomfortable she felt in her skin. She was huge, and it seemed with each passing day, her growing stomach was the only thing she could see.
It wasn't that she regretted it, she loved having this baby, she could already feel the protectiveness streak through her as she faced each problem that came with being pregnant. Every time she was sick, or her stomach cramped her mind would go on red alert that the baby was hurt, Carlisle would have to take her through several tests just to INSURE that her insecurities and fears were ridiculous.
It wasn't so much the pregnancy itself that was bringing her down, and more the physical changes she was undergoing. She missed her old body, as odd as it sounded, she felt fat and wrong in so many places that it was impossible to consider herself attractive any more, and the knowledge that she still had eight more months too go sent a feeling of dread through her. Which led to the present problem.
It had been three months since the departure of the dreaded duo, and she had thought life would get easier, and in some ways it had. Emmett was more at ease, more relaxed, he was perfect in every way. She tried telling herself she was being unreasonable, that her feelings were ridiculous, but sometimes irrationality clouded her mind, and nothing; not even your own voice could quell the feelings you try to beat down.
Her self esteem had dropped to non-existence. Emmett hadn't done anything to evoke it, he had been perfectly normal as usual, he had supported her through the sickness and the mood-swings, he had been perfect to her. But it would do nothing to silence the voice in her head which would constantly remind her of how much more unattractive she was becoming, how she wouldn't be enough to please him soon enough, and she would immediately grow insecure over things such as her weight, the spots on her skin, the chance that her pregnancy would leave stretch marks. She wasn't able to dress as she wanted to any more, and every time she left the house she attracted whispers from the Forks people, which only proceeded to break her down further. It was petty, and inside she knew she had no grounds for it, it was unfair to doubt him after everything he had done for her, but it had been two weeks since they had made love, and she was beginning to worry that he had lost interest, they had never gone this lone without. She would never have imagined how much she enjoyed being intimate with him, and her pregnancy was only heightening her needs, but his lack of offering was driving her mental, Maybe he had truly realized how much she lacked compared to Rosalie. maybe he wasn't attracted or eager any more.
Even Alice with her all-seeing eye and her comforting words could do nothing to quell the steadily growing fear.
...
"Bella, seriously you need to stop this." Alice whined, irritated despite the fact that she understood her sisters worries. But even after telling her and attempting to reassure her, Bella refused to listen. She flung herself back on the bed, wincing when the support groaned its protests at the sudden weight added.
Bella ignored her, sitting in the dresser stool, her previous hopes to go out into Port Angeles with Alice disappearing. her head bowed as she stared at the garment in her hands, she now wore nothing but one of Emmett's T-shirts and a pair of plain-white panties "They don't fit me." She breathed disappointed, staring down at the DENIM JEANS, biting her lip to hold back the urge to cry. They had fit her a few weeks back, but now the fly refused to close, and the visible sign of her body's growing size was another reminder of her frustration at her relationship with Emmett. Alice groaned, rubbing her face in frustration, the sound caused an angry frown to mask across Bella's features. The house was empty of everyone but the two of them, Emmett and Jasper having left the previous day to go hunting.
"You don't understand, those were my last pair!" She snapped angrily, turning to stare at the small vampire, her ochre eyes ablaze.
A kick jolted her abdomen, and she looked down, pursing her lips as she settled her fast-beating heart, calming herself down. She placed her hands over her stomach, sighing, a smile settling over her face as she rubbed the skin.
"Shush." She breathed to the unborn babe, her eyes softening, "Mommy's sorry for shouting." She crooned, rubbing over the swollen skin gently. She felt the kicking settle into non-existence, and looked back up at Alice.
"I'm sorry for shouting at you Alice." She said softly, "I know I'm being irrational, it's just-." She swallowed, her eyes tearing up. her hand lifting to wipe away the escaping droplets from her eyes. "Those jeans fit me last month, and now they won't even close. It's not even the fifth month and I'm fatter than ever, how much bigger will I get? Emmett hasn't touched me in two weeks. You and everyone else is acting as if it isn't a problem." Her voice cracked and she wrapped her arms tight around her chest, turning her head to the side as she tried to silence the tears which rolled persistently down her cheeks.
"Oh Bella..." Alice sighed sadly, standing from the bed, her hands wrapping around Bella's waist as she pulled her forward into a hug. "Bella, I know you think its the end of the world, but you have to understand that this is normal for a pregnancy, Carlisle's a doctor, don't you think he would tell you if things were wrong, don't you think Esme would! The sooner you accept the changes the happier you'll be. And if you're truly worried about Emmett then talk to him, you can't expect him to know these things, he's a guy. It would take Jasper weeks to figure out my thoughts if he didn't have his powers." Bella sucked in a breath, her watery eyes turning to the small black-head. A hesitant smile gracing her swollen lips, seeing a sliver of truth and hope in her words
"He absolutely adores you Bella, how can you not see that. I know you think that he's not interested, but its not true. If you want to get through this you need to talk to him, and you need to trust that he'll see through your emotions and understand the meaning behind your words. I know you've heard it before, but you need to communicate with him, it's important."
Alice's words made sense, but it scared Bella to think she had to approach Emmett over this petty problem, would he think her childish? Would he think her clingy? Childish perhaps... But she could tell that what had once been small had now grown into a mountain, and if she didn't fix it now it would grow even bigger, till it exploded and Emmett didn't deserve that, not when he had no clue over the problem.
"Bella." Alice whispered, framing her hands over Bella's face gently and tilting her face down. "You need to learn to talk to him, both of you have come from relationships where talking was non-existent, but its so unbelievably important that you communicate. You're going to be parents, you need to learn this before the baby comes." Bella nodded, swallowing down her stress, her decision already made, knowing that if she avoided this it would only end badly.
"Good." Alice smirked, She turned away and Bella's brow furrowed in confusion as she picked up her phone, opening it and clicking the screen several times till the Screen flashed and a small green symbol appeared over the screen.
She pressed it to her ear calmly, looking at Bella and smiling when whoever was on the other end of the line picked up.
"Emmett hey!" Bella's eyes widened and she shook her head quickly, reaching for the phone, but Alice pressed her palm against Bella's forehead, holding her back.
"Yes every thing is fine, I'm going to need you to come home, Bella needs to talk to you." She frowned, her chest contracting as she heard a murmur on the other end, before the call ended.
"I'm sorry Bella, but you'll thank me when you've fixed this." She walked Bella to the door and pushed her out, pointing to the room on the opposite end of the corridor.
"It will be fine." She reassured when Bella cringed at her, a hand settling across her stomach nervously. She swallowed, nodding and turned as the door shut again, walking slowly to the opposite end of the corridor. The house was deathly silent, but it echoed louder than anything she had ever felt in her life.
A half an hour passed in the closed silence of the room, she had switched on the side lamp to gain some light in the room. Each sound made her jump nervously, and she paced, sorting through her thoughts, planning what she would say.
But when the door suddenly opened, and a head poked in, amber eyes scouring the room searchingly and landing on her, her previously planned thought's scattered.
"Bella?" He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. His large body filled her vision, and she was immediately dazed by his presence. He smiled at her from across the room. She swallowed down her nervousness and stood a little straighter.
"Alice said you needed to talk to me... What's wrong?"
She glanced away, taking in a deep breath before turning back and clutching her arm. Her eyes flickering up. She opened her mouth, trying to remember what she had planned to say, the perfect speech she had prepared. But no matter how much she tried, no words would come forth, something seemed to keep her silent, call it nervousness of fear, she couldn't remove it. He was such a large entity in the room, a presence which overcame her very being. This huge obstacle that kept her from him, she wanted it gone, she wanted to be happy again, content.
Her silence had him worried, and he stepped forward, frowning slightly at the way she seemed to tense at his approach. His hand reached out, a nervousness bubbling in his stomach. "Bella?"
"Why haven't you slept with me these past two weeks?" She blurted out, Her cheeks flushing as she realized what she had just said, her eyes widening as she glanced at him nervously.
He stopped, his eyes widening at the unexpectedness of her question, finally he smiled bemused and laughed. It was so unlike her to ask such things, he couldn't help but grin at the awkwardness. "What's this really about Bella, I know you well enough to know that Alice wouldn't have called me home if that's all you wanted to ask me." She frowned, and rubbed her face tiredly, finally looking up at him.
"Am I not- good enough any more?" She breathed, staring at him, her frowned wider, confused. "I mean, I get it. You're used to flawless skin, perfect curves. So it must be pretty difficult to go from that to this." She indicated down the her large stomach, his shirt managing to hide her swollen breasts and the scattering of spots over her chest.
His humour was slowly fading with each word she uttered, and he shook his head, "What are you talking about?" He asked shocked. She gritted her teeth, frowning.
"I'm talking about..." She spat angrily, her face heating up. "I'm talking about the fact that most of my clothes have stopped fitting me, I'm getting fatter with each passing day. My skin is filled with spots and I feel ugly." Her eyes watered, her lips shaking as she clenched her fists. "And to top it off, you haven't-" Her rant ended suddenly she felt two cold lips swallow her words, pressing against her mouth. He picked her up and pressed her against the wall. She yelped as her shirt dragged up, the cold plaster pressing against her back. Her hands settled on his chest as he broke away, his head bowing to press into he neck.
"Don't do that. It's not true Bells." He breathed into her neck, shaking his head against her skin. He sounded devastated by her words, as if they had hurt him instead of her. She frowned, looking away, her bottom lip trembling.
"It's true though." She answered softly, jumping when he looked up.
"No Bella! It's not true!" He snapped angrily, his jaw tightening, his arms tightening around her. "How could you ever think it's true!"
"What about it isn't true!" She hissed, her eyes narrowing as she glared at him, pushing her palm against his chest angrily. "What am I supposed to think Emmett! You're usually all touchy and affectionate, then suddenly you're not! And its when my stomach begins to grow, and my mood swings begin, how do I stop myself from assuming! I feel fat Emmett and you not touching me adds to the problem." She swallowed, giving up on her efforts of pushing him away, slumping against the wall and glaring at him, ignoring the twinge of guilt when his amber eyes saddened.
"You're not fat, you're pregnant, there's a difference" He said softly. She stared up at him, her anger melting away in exchange for a feeling of hopeless anguish. "If I'm not fat, and you don't have a problem with how Look, then why haven't you touched me for two weeks, what have I done Emmett to suddenly make you not want me!"
He looked away, sighing in frustration. "It's never been that Bella! Dammit there will never be a day where I won't want to slam you against the wall and make you scream, but you're pregnant, and lately I noticed that you feel weaker and more tired, I thought that if we had sex whilst you were pregnant that it might harm the baby and it might mess with your body. Dear God, if I had known this would happen, I would have told you, I'm sorry." He shook his head, setting her down on the floor and scratching his neck.
She was speechless, her eyes wide, mouth open in shock, not having ever expected his answer to be so simple and harmless. She felt her love for him swell, suddenly she burst into a fit of giggles, not able to resist the urge to hug him.
"Emmett honestly, you have to be the only vampire that has the ability to make me laugh so much." He relaxed into her hug, and she shook her head, her earlier stress melting away. She squeezed him, although the touch must've been as light as a feather too him, and pressed a kiss against his chest, the only place she could reach from her present height.
"So-." He said suddenly, "Will it?" She chuckled, leaning back to look at him, shaking her head in amusement. "Of course not Emmett, we just have to be gentle, that doesn't mean we won't be able to have sex for this entire pregnancy, I don't know how you thought you'd be able to go that long without." He grinned mischievously, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips. She melted against him, humming happily.
"So can we- Can we do it now?" He asked hesitantly, and she glanced up at him, blushing as she grasped his wrists, pulling him to the bed. He grinned, chuckling and she gasped as he lowered her to the bed, the shirt she was wearing disappearing to the floor, accompanied quickly by his denim Jeans and Black shirt.
Her knelt above her, his hand settling beside her head, and she quickly took advantage of his closeness, her hands framing his face as she dragged their mouths together. Her hormones were going haywire with the knowledge that she was finally getting what she wanted from him.
She huffed irritably as the baby-bump got in the way, and glared at him as she heard him laugh, his face lighting up into a grin as he shifted up. She pouted angrily, confusion setting in as he pulled her to her feet.
"Emmett, wh-" She gasped as he moved behind her, his hands settling over her swollen stomach, pulling her back against him. She leaned back against him, letting him do what he wanted, relishing the feeling of his hands moving over her skin. It felt nice, normal, and she sighed, her eyes closing as his fingers brushed the underside of her breasts.
Suddenly, her body jolted, her back arching as his fingers tweaked the peaks of her breast, her eyes flying open in shock, a whimper falling from her lips at the unexpected sensation that the movement evoked. She had never been a breast person, the touches had felt nice in the past, but not this good. It seemed her reaction had caught Emmett by surprise; his hand froze, hovering over her flesh.
She arched, pressing against him, her eyes flickering up into his gaze and she caught his questioning thoughts, answering with a moan. His jaw tightened as he explored her, her reactions more intense than the had been in the past, and neither could decide whether to blame it on the lack of sex these past few weeks, or whether her pregnancy had caused her nerves to go haywire.
A constant series of sounds came from her, despite her efforts to try and silence herself, from moans to mewling to heavy pants, she couldn't manage the task, and from the stiff bulge pressed against her backside, she could feel the effect it was having on him.
He pulled her back, and she yelped as her body moved back, her balance shifting as he sat down with her on his lap. His knees fit between her thighs, and she gasped as he spread her legs using his thighs, cold air brushing against her core. She could feel how wet she was from how cold the air felt against her, her hands gripping his back.
"Em-Emmett." She choked out, flushing at how exposed she was, her breasts open to the air, everything on her body was so easily accessible to his hands from this position, and he made it blatantly obvious from the way his hand ran from her breasts over the swell of her stomach, his fingers rubbing the skin tenderly.
"God help me." He breathed, pressing a kiss beneath her ear. "You're beautiful Bells." She tried to object, but he interpreted.
"No Bella, I don't get how you would think you're not. You're body looks amazing, you're glowing, you're hair is so much thicker than it was before, you're carrying life, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen before." She swallowed, glancing down, a flush coloring her cheeks, a smile tugging her lips at his words. His hands settled down on her hips, pressing her down, her eyes widening in shock as she felt him rub over her backside.
"Not to mention how much I love these, his fingers dig into the skin of her hips, before moving up to cup her breasts.
"God, in fact I'm struggling to find anything wrong with your appearance, everything just makes me want you more." He sounded as if he was more talking to himself, his voice distant as his hand wandered over her skin, rubbing and kneading, driving her insane because he wasn't going where she wanted him.
She growled impatiently, grabbing his wrist and moving it further down. "Then shut up and do something." She gritted out desperately, her voice rough, a choked breath leaving her lungs as she finally felt his fingers slide across her wet skin, the cool, smooth sensation causing her body to buckle, slumping weakly against him. "Oh God." She mewled, her head falling back onto his shoulders as he pressed against her clit. The small nub was hard with tension, the pressure of his touch causing her body to tense as pleasure coursed through her body, her eyes clenching shut.
She gasped as he began to circle the small button, rolling it beneath his fingers rhythmically, using the liquid which gushed from her entrance to make his movements smoother. Her back arched, only his hand on her hip keeping her down against him. She grabbed the back of his head, her heavy breaths turning into a series of moans and whines. Her thighs pressed against his legs, her hips rolling down against his hand.
Her release built, faster than she had expected it too, her mind shutting down.
"Yes...Yes, Yes! Oh God!" She cried out, her mouth falling open as her release crashed through her, her eyes squeezing shut. Her body twitched, wave after wave crashing through her body.
"Damn." He breathed against her ear, and all she could produce was a satisfied hum, shifting against him, her body still twitching in the aftershock. She felt him move slightly, before pressure pressed against her entrance, her body stretching as he pushing slowly into her. Her walls were still tight from her release, so the intrusion felt intense, her breathing picked up, and she struggled to keep up as he began to move, rocking up into her, grinding against her walls.
"Fuck." He hissed, his head tucking into her neck. She could feel his teeth slide over her skin, shuddering as he rolled his hips up into her, a broken moan falling from her lips. He felt huge inside of her, and her body felt full with him. After going two weeks without him, she never wanted him to stop. His hand settled over her stomach, and she reached down, lacing her finger with his.
"Bella, I'm close." He ground out, his voice muffled in her skin. She whimpered, pressing down as he thrust up. She pulled her leg up, settling a foot against his knee, spreading herself wider, and the changed position caused him to drive up, the head dragging along her walls, causing her to shudder, a multitude of sensations running through her body. She was so close, so so close, she just needed a tiny bit more. She whined, arching and grinding down.
His hand wrapped around her, holding her closer, the other hand reaching to roll the small nub above her entrance, massaging the bundle lightly as he rocked into her. Her body began to shake, her eyes closing as the sensations built.
She felt him swell inside of her, his hands pressing her down as he thrust up. Her insides warmed at the feeling, and the sensation of his release, mixed with the way his fingers pressed against her clit caused her body to give in, submitting to the strong waves of release which threatened to break her.
Her hand gripped his in a death-hold as she shook, her body twitching as she collapsed against him, her breathing heavy, her skin sweaty and flushed.
He hugged her close, and she could feel his body shaking as he too worked through the aftershock of his release. He pressed a kiss against the back of her neck before pulling out and shifting so they were both lying on the bed.
"Don't know how I ever thought I was going to go without that." He said gruffly, his voice sounded tired, and she relished the fact that she had done that to him. She chuckled, shaking her head.
"You had nearly done it, guess your self control is limited." She teased, crying out in laughter as his hands poked her ribs. He pulled her against him, settling them against the pillows, a soft grin on his face as he gazed at her.
"I guess next time I should talk to you." He murmured apologetically, his amber eyes warm. She felt exhaustion setting into her bones, her eyes getting heavier as she burrowed into the soft material of the pillows, humming softly in agreement. Her eyes closed, and she laced her fingers with his, pressing his hand over her stomach, a smile over her mouth.
"I love you Bella." He murmured after a few minutes, and she peeked an eye open tiredly. She wanted to give a full speech, tell him how much she adored him, how much he meant to her, but she was too tired, and words were meaningless.
"I love you too.." She breathed, "Now shut up, I'm trying to sleep." She fell asleep to the sound of his laughter and the feel of his hands wrapping around her waist, the duvet covering them.