Chapter 31.
XAVIER's P.O.V
Emily and I had finally made our way back home. The car was full of silence, and I knew it was because of me.
The phone call I had the other night put me in a position of worry. I was scared for myself but importantly I was scared for Emily. I couldn't let anything hurt her.
I don't care what happens to me, just God, please make her safe.
I looked to her out of the corner of my eye, she was everything in a person I wish I could have been. Even after all of her struggles in life, she was still upbeat Emily. Her happiness never ceased to amaze me. She could be happy at all times, upbeat and optimistic, even when she thought she couldn't be.
She was rubbing off me well, and for once in my life I felt a sense of happiness in my cold and twisted heart.
And it was all because of her.
She was beautiful in every sense of the word. An angel who had come down and helped me.
I didn't want anything to demolish what we had. She didn't know it yet, hell I didn't even know it, but I loved her.
I didn't love, I didn't even believe in it a while back, but thinking about being without her twisted my gut and made me sick.
Fuck that.
If someone even as much touches her the wrong way I would kill them. I wouldn't hesitate to murder them in cold blood. I wouldn't ever fucking hesitate.
I was a fighter, not a lover. But now I loved her.
"Are you okay?" I heard her voice. That soft and caring voice. It made me sick when she used it. She cared about me and I loved it, but how could anyone care for me?
The way I treat her sometimes, the way I speak to her. I deserved it if she had left, it would have killed me but I'd have let it happen. I was a coward and a sick bastard at times.
"I'm okay." I let out. I was full of worry and dread and anxiety. I would have usually let that get to me. I would have pushed her away but I couldn't stand to hurt her anymore than I have done with my words. She gives me that look, and fuck, I couldn't see that again.
"Are you sure?" She asked. She was hesitant, I knew she was only trying to care for me.
"I'm sure babe" I let out. I had to get out before I would let out something I regretted. "I got to go." I said, I tried to sound less worried, but I didn't think it was working.
"Oh, okay, will you be back later?" She asked and I nodded her way.
"I'll be back around 6." She smiled and came over to give me a hug. I hugged her back. My beating heart could rest for a few minutes. It could take a break from the constant fear. Emily would always be here, she would always be here.
"I like you, you know that don't you?" I asked, my voice a lot softer now.
"Of course. I like you too." She smiled sweetly, and in that moment I would have done anything to tell her that I loved her. But I had to go.
She'd be here any minute.
I let out a deep breath and continued to pull away.
"See you later." I said before opening the door and shutting it behind me.
I continued to make my way down to my own room. I opened it straight away and went inside.
As soon as I had sat down on my own sofa to think, a text rang out from my phone.
Meet me in the park.
It read. My heart jumped and not in the good way. Not in the way it did when Emily laid her eyes on me.
No. This was in fear.
I swallowed the lump from my dry throat, and lifted my heavy legs until I was walking to the park.
It was only a 5 minute walk away, and I was petrified the whole way.
I never lived in fear, but this woman had always made me feel it since the day I was born.
I knew she would come looking for me soon. I knew she would track me down. And I knew I had to talk to her. She would have come looking for me if I didn't.
Once I got to the park I looked around. I couldn't spot her anywhere.
All of a sudden, I looked towards the trees and I saw her.
I hesitantly walked up to her, my heart beating a mile a minute. I would recognise her a mile away.
I could smell her a mile a way. I could smell the drugs, the alcohol. She reeked of it, but it was a smell I had gotten used to growing up.
The smell only got stronger as I got closer. I wanted to back out, turn my back and run away. I wanted to run,but I didn't. I walked closer and closer until her eyes, the same colour as mine were looking right at me.
"Xavier. You made it." Her rough and calloused voice rang out. It was like a nail to a black board. I wanted to rip my ears off whenever I heard her name. Hearing her over the phone the last few months were bad enough, but hearing it in the flesh was worse.
"Rose." I let out. Such a pretty name for such a sick woman.
All of a sudden, I felt her hand connect to my cheek. I took a step back and shuddered.
"It's mother to you, you sick little bastard!" She shrieked. Her eyes were wide, her pupils even wider with the effect of drugs. I laid a hand to my cheek, it didn't hurt, nothing she said or did would hurt me.
"Mother." I replied. My voice weak. She took a step closer.
"Don't think I don't know what you're doing." She let out through gritted teeth. "You came here to get away from me, you came here to hide." That was true. I moved as soon as I could escape from her. "I knew exactly where you went when I left, don't think I'm stupid, and don't think I don't know about your girlfriend." She spat the word girlfriend out like it was shit in her mouth. My jaw clenched.
"Don't talk about my girlfriend." I let out, my anger rising.
"That little whore, Emily?" She laughed. Her voice cracked. "I'm the only woman you'll ever need in your life. After your father died you were the only man in mine. But you're a sick, twisted little shit. You're no son of mine." Her words were so full of hatred it made me take a step back.
Then, I heard her.
"Xavier?" I heard her shout my name.
How the fuck did she know I was here? My heart was beating faster now. She couldn't see my mother, she couldn't see who I really was.
And my mother couldn't see her, she would say something, do something that would hurt her. She wouldn't want to be with me afterwards. She'd want nothing to do with me.
The thought felt like a knife to my heart.
"No." I gasped. I heard my mother's laugh beside me.
"Oh, is that your little whore, Xavier. I can hear her." She continued to cackle.
I could hear Emilys voice getting louder telling me that she was nearer.
I was full of undeniable rage. She was going to hurt my girl. I knew it. Without a care in the world but Emily, I grabbed my mother's scabby hand a pulled her behind the tree. She shrieked.
"Get the fuck off me!" She screamed. I shook my head. No please, be quiet. All of a sudden, her knee came up to my gut and I was doubling over in pain.
"Fuck." I let out. She was so high and drunk she didn't know what she was doing, and I looked up from the ground and saw her lunging at Emilys small figure walking along the pavement. "Emily!" I shouted. My heart felt like it was going to break. "No!" I screamed.
It was too late by then, my mother had gotten to Emily. She was going to say something to hurt her.
And that's when I saw it, the gun in her pocket. It glistened in the light, so clean and innocent as she used her fingers to gently stroke the metal.
Sick fucking bitch. The rage grew inside me, and I leaped up from the floor. Nobody was going to touch Emily. No one. How could I have put her in such danger.
I ran so fast my legs were going to give way. I screamed as I lunged, my mother got the gun out of her pocket and when I landed on her body the gun went flying across the pavement. She screamed and punched but I needed to get to that gun before my mother did. She was going to kill Emily.
That's what she wanted. That's why she came.
"Emily, move!" I heard her shoes scuffle along the floor. "Move!"
"Xavier, be careful!" She screamed back. I could hear the fear in her voice. It pained me to hear it, it pained me that it was all my fault. "Xavier, she's got the gun!"
My eyes widened and my eyes flickered over to my mother. She had a wicked smile on her face, her eyes a light with humour.
"You love her, hey?" She asked. I swallowed.
"Yes. I love her. I love her so much." I replied. My heart was lurching in fear. She had the gun. I didn't trust her.
"I love you too." I heard Emily whisper. I looked over to her, her eyes watering with her tears. The gun suddenly pointed at Emily.
I gasped. No. No. Kill me, shoot me. Not her, not my Emily. I saw her bend her finger.
"You don't need her, Xavier." She clipped, before she pulled the trigger.
"No!" I screamed before jumping infront of the gun.
I saw the blood weeping out of my side before I could feel the pain. I dropped to the floor beside my mother. My eyes closed to their own accord.
I could hear Emily's voice, her soft voice. But I couldn't reply back.
Please don't hurt her.
I felt a hand to my cheek, not a rough one, a soft one. I felt her hands all over my body. Where was my mother? What was she going to do.
"She ran away." I heard her sniff. "I don't know what to do!" She cried. "Please Xavier, stay with me, please." I felt her pull her phone out of her pocket. I heard her speaking to the ambulance but I couldn't say a word.
"They're coming, baby, they're coming. Stay still and hold on." She cried against my hand, the one she was holding.
I loved her so much. I knew I would take the bullet for her.
"I'm so inlove with you." I croaked and wheezed. It hurt to talk, it hurt to breathe.
"Oh, Xavier." She sniffed and sobbed. "I'm in love with you too. Please don't go."
"I'll never leave you. I'll be fine. Come here, let me feel your lips against mine." I could barely breathe,but I had to feel her. She laid her soft lips against mine as she cried.
And for the first time in all my life, I let myself cry. I let myself breakdown into tears.
It was my fault the situation got this far. It was my fault I put Emily in danger. I was meant to be inlove with the girl, to protect her and keep her safe and I blew it.
The tears kept coming and I couldn't get them to stop.
I cried because of all the things I had to go through growing up. I cried because of my mother. I cried because of my father and I cried because of the love of my life.
I could hear the ambulance but I wasn't able to see it. My eyes were firmly closed. It hurt to open them. There was a pressure on my bullet wound so the blood wouldn't come out, but I was oo numb to feel it.
The next ten minutes were a blur. But u kept hold of Emily's hand, she was my only saving grace.
I was fully secured in the ambulance now, and I could still hear Emily's sniffles and cries and sobs.
I couldn't bare it.
"Stop crying now, my angel." I whispered. "You'll ruin that pretty face."
"I can't stop." She sniffled.
"You're too kind to me." I croaked as I took a deep breath in. "I don't deserve an angel like you."
"Stop talking, Xavier. I need you to breathe for me." I felt her hand on my cheek.
"But I need you. I've always needed you."
"And I need you, that's why I need you to be quiet for me."
"I'm a shitty boyfriend most of the time. What kind of boyfriend speaks to you the way I did. Or doesn't tell you he loves you every chance he had?" I croaked.
"Please, Xavier." She whispered. "I love you and I need you to be fine." And that's all it took to succumb to her. Her voice pierced my hearts in more ways than one.
It was hard to acknowledge the fact that I loved her, that I loved someone. But lying here, with a bullet in my chest and the prettiest girl by my side, it was harder to acknowledge that maybe she loved me back.
And with her hand upon mine, and her tears in my shirt, I knew, that she did.
She was stupid enough and amazing enough to love me back.
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I really hope you enjoyed..
Thank you so much to cxrevibes for being amazing and a massive Xavier fan!! She helped me a ton.
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