I stood there gaping as the ground slipped from beneath my feet. To say that I was shocked would be the understatement of the century. Good thing I pocketed my phone otherwise it would be laying dead on the floor by now.
Daddy? Asher?
I refuse to believe that.
Daddy and Asher were two words that just not fit in the same sentence.
The kid was small. Maybe she called everyone daddy and I was freaking out unnecessarily. Maybe she was just another cousin I hadn't heard about and I was mistaking her for someone else. Just like I did with Poppy. Maybe he was just babysitting. Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Maybe I heard it wrong. Maybe she said something else and I misheard it. Yeah, that's a possible explanation for this bizarre.... what do I even call it?
I would not believe that this kid was Asher's. He was way too young. He was just eighteen for Pete's sake! And he must be sixteen when he... if she...
The gears in my head turned as my brain did the math. It was the same time he left for Los Angeles to follow his dream. And this was what he did? Knocked up some model and fathered a child?
I was at the brink of a panic attack. This couldn't happen. This could not be true.
I wanted more than anything for it to not be true. And I knew that it wasn't just for his sake. It was for mine too.
"Daddy!" the girl's shrill cry brought me out of my train of thoughts. There was no way I could have heard it wrong this time.
Standing at the doorway, still unnoticed by the happy duo, I tried to hold on to that little possibility of her not being his daughter. I hoped and prayed in my head as I finally spoke.
"You have a kid?!"
Asher finally noticed me and his expression was that of a deer caught in the headlights, just for a second before it went to that of annoyance.
"Please tell me that's not your child," I said walking over to where he was sitting on the couch with the baby in his arms.
He started to say something but the little girl put her little hands on his cheeks to grab his attention back. He looked at her adoringly and smiled, completely forgetting my question.
"Asher, I asked something," I said, exasperated.
He looked up and raised his eyebrows.
"What was it you were saying?" he said as the baby played with his left ear.
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"You heard me perfectly," I said.
He matched my glare with his own.
"I refuse to answer that," he said and my heart stopped, realizing what that meant until he continued, "What kind of question is that? Of course she is not my kid."
I breathed a sigh of relief. He had no idea how much that relieved me. It was stupid. Really, really stupid to even think that he had a daughter.
"You seem far too happy to know that?" he smirked.
I scoffed but I said, "For a moment, I actually thought she was your daughter."
I thought I was something pass his face but it was too fast for me to be sure what it was or if it was even there.
He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Ashton voice as he came in the room with a bottle of milk in his hand.
"I think the temperature is alright," he said putting the bottle to his cheek.
He sat beside Asher and opened his arms for the girl but she buried his face in Asher's neck, making him chuckle.
"I think she doesn't like you, Ashton," he said.
"Calla, I have milk. You are hungry right?" Ashton tried to coax her to come to him.
"I'll stay with daddy," she said.
Even though Asher told me that he wasn't the father it still felt weird when she called him daddy.
"Give the bottle to me," Asher said.
I sat on the couch opposite them.
Ashton hid the bottle behind his back and shook his head.
"No, give Calla to me. I made the milk so I'll feed her," he said.
A chuckle escaped my lips as I watched them. This was so not the normal behavior you'd expect from teen boys. Instead of running away from kids they were eager to play with them. I guess that what happened when you were brought up with no younger sibling. I knew that because I was also brought up as an only child and this little girl fascinated me.
Asher scoffed.
"Feed her? You're not her mother," he said.
"Who is her mother?" I asked, curiosity coating my voice.
They both looked at me with guarded expressions. It made me all the more curious.
"She is not here," Asher said curtly.
"Dada," Calla sang softly, playing with Asher's shirt.
"Clearly, I can see that," I said, ignoring that Calla referred to him as father yet again. "Who is she?"
"Oh you don't know her," Ashton waved me off.
I narrowed my eyes at them.
"What are you hiding? Did you... " I gasped.
"You guys kidnapped her!" I exclaimed. I was only half joking. Okay, I could very well imagine them kidnapping someone. I racked my brain for a kid that lived in our neighborhood. There was one but he wasn't that small and he was a he.
"What? No!" Ashton said.
"Nobody kidnapped anyone," Asher said seriously.
"What do you take us for, Ellie?" Ashton said trying to sound offended.
I shrugged.
"Just making sure."
"Daddy! Mum-mum" Calla said and I got irritated.
Asher snatched the bottle from Ashton, making him pout adorably and sit back on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest.
He gave the bottle to Calla who immediately started drinking.
"Why is she calling you daddy again and again?"
It was Ashton who spoke up.
"That's because he is her daddy," he said with all seriousness.
Asher threw him a glare.
"Okay, seriously guys, does she call everyone daddy?" I asked.
Again Ashton answered.
"Nope. Only Asher. It's like he has some magical juju to lure little kids and eat them later," he said.
"I can't help it if everyone loves me," he said with a cocky grin.
"Juju!" Calla said giggling afterwards.
"Not everyone loves you, Asher," I said rolling my eyes.
"Don't get jealous, Anderson," he said. The way he said it didn't make it clear whether he was accusing me of being jealous from him or for him.
I would go with the former.
"Don't change the subject," I said as soon as I realized what he was doing.
Ashton sighed.
"You should tell her, bro," he said looking Asher in the eyes.
Asher glared at him as if he had betrayed him. And I felt a sense of déjà vu.
Something like this had happened before. Ashton telling Asher to tell me something. It was the night of the party. When Ashton had got hurt and I got angry at Asher for not coming to help him before. Everything was same just the situation was changed.
"Don't," Asher spoke so low that it sent chills down my spine. But Ashton was not at all affected.
"She is going to find out some day. Better tell her now. Get it over with. What are you even afraid of?" Ashton went on.
I was too interested in what he was saying to even acknowledge the fact that they were talking as if I wasn't in the room.
Asher looked like if it weren't for Calla he would have punched Ashton, just to get him to shut up.
"Fine. If you'll not tell her, I will," he said as he turned to me.
"Ellie, the reason why Asher came back. The answer to all your questions regarding him is that-"
"I'm her father," Asher cut him off.
For a moment I just sat there, without blinking. Then I found my voice.
"But you just said... " I trailed off, hating how weak my voice sounded.
"I lied," he said curtly. Ashton stared at him with an expression that I didn't understand. He let out a sigh, then he took the baby from his arms and left the room.
"Why would you lie about something like that?" I asked. And suddenly it all felt real. The gravity of the situation finally caught up with me. I wanted to laugh and at the same time I wanted to cry. This was crazy.
I was starting to really like him. More than like him, only to find out he was already a father. Maybe he loved her mother too. That was the reason why he never slept around after coming back or before that for that matter. There was already someone in his life.
Then why did he kiss me like that? Why would he? The questions swam around in my mind.
"I didn't want you to know," he said. He didn't meet my eyes. He was looking down at his hands on his lap.
"Why would you want that?"
He looked up and sighed irritatedly.
"That's why," he said pointing at me.
I furrowed my eyebrows.
"That look," he said and I realized how my expression must be right now. I put on a blank face, wiping my face of any emotion.
"I have a lot of people judging me already. I didn't want to add another face to that list," he said and stood up.
I mirrored his actions.
"Asher wait!" I said as he moved towards the door.
He stopped.
"I'm not judging you," I said even though I knew it wasn't completely true.
He scoffed.
"No need to lie for my sake Anderson. I can take a few people's hate. After all I'm a star. I've been doing it for years."
With that he left me standing with a thousand thoughts warring inside my head.
****
That evening as I did my homework the only thought in my head was, I don't believe it.
I still didn't believe it. I didn't believe Asher. He wasn't the only one who could tell when someone was telling lies. But what could he be hiding that was bigger than this?
As I went downstairs for dinner I heard voices from Asher's door which was ajar. I stopped to eavesdrop. I wouldn't have but not knowing anything was killing me. I apologized for it in my head and stood against the wall.
"She is my responsibility mom," I heard Asher's voice say.
"I won't tell you what to do. You're big enough to make your own decisions but think it through before making any decisions. You're still a kid," Linda's voice spoke.
They must be talking about Calla.
Someone sighed.
"I know mom. I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I fucked everything up," his voice broke and my heart clenched. All I wanted right now was to make it all go away. Make his problems disappear. I didn't like it when he sounded like this.
"Baby, stop apologizing," Linda's soothing voice said.
"I'm sorry," he said again.
"I know you are. Now man up and do what's right," she said.
"I don't know what's right mom. I don't know anything. What if... What if she never wakes up?" he sounded afraid.
What were they talking about?
"We have the best doctors treating her. She'll wake up. She has to. For Calla," Linda said.
I sucked in breath. They were talking about Calla's mother. What happened to her?
I heard sound of someone walking towards the door and I soundlessly ran to my room. I didn't close the door all the way so I heard when someone said.
"You should tell Ellie. She's more understanding than you give her credit for."
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-K