:: 24 :: (yes, I'm back. I usually don't care if you guys read my notes but please read the one I've left at the end of this chapter!)
We, as humans, take a lot for granted. The entire species has seemingly adapted to never be initially thankful for everything we receive, because we're so used to being handed such things. Things we used every day, things we see every day. People we see every day.
Luke has never thought twice about what he's been given or what he's done to give back. He's spent his whole life around his father, and around his mother, and not once has he ever thought about what things would've been like for him if he'd lost one of his parents—or both of them.
Comparing his own issues to those of others has recently become a problem. And, lately, Michael's life has made Luke re-evaluate so much of his. In such a small window of time, the amount of knowledge Luke has gained about his best friend left him putting together a puzzle he didn't know he was missing the pieces to.
The more he talks to people, the more he gets to know their lives, the more Luke begins to realize that everything he's been so annoyed by his entire life are the things most are missing.
In no way is it healthy to humble your problems for the sole reason that you believe others have it worse than you, and Luke is smart enough to realize that, but that doesn't mean he doesn't do it. All he ever complains about is his life, when in reality, who in their right mind wouldn't want a famous father? Who in the world is fortunate enough to be given such a life as the one Luke has been living? Not many, and for that he has now told himself to be grateful for what he has.
He has definitely taken for granted these pigs he's so happily surrounded by right now. The entirety of I'll Keep You in Mind, From Time to Time playing over Penelope's small speaker—a truly beautiful album, Luke had learned. And a truly beautiful girl had introduced him.
She's always apologizing for talking about music. But it makes her happy, he understands. Anything that makes someone happy is wonderful to hear about, the look in their eyes when it's talked about is something that can't be compared to any of the wonders of the world. Because happiness was a wonder in itself—arguably the greatest of them all.
"Michael and your brother play Friday," Luke reminded her, as they rested their backs against one of three sheds on Penny's farm. "An away game."
Penny frowned almost unnoticeably (had Luke not been staring at her, he probably wouldn't have caught it). "They do."
"You don't look too excited."
"It just," she sighs, "it gets old after a while, y'know? We're always rushing to get to his games, but never to anything that I look forward to."
"I know the feeling," Luke rolled his eyes. "I just have to attend everything my dad does, but the only time we did anything I wanted was this past weekend in New York."
"It sucks being the outlier of the family. Sure, we all agree on this farm, but I'd much rather just sit here with you and listen to music while watching you freak out over the same pigs you've seen three times already."
"These are some quality pigs," Luke admitted in his defense.
"And you're a quality guy," Penny grins.
"Oh, stop, I'm blushing."
"Hey, do you want to help me finish painting the shed? You can reach a bit higher than me." For emphasis, Penny pointed up to an unpainted patch.
And, even though the girl is clearly only a couple of inches shorter, Luke agrees, "As long as we can bring Moose Blood with us."
"I don't go anywhere without them," she said, turning the music only a notch louder.
Those trainers and rolled up jeans,
"Hey, Penny?" The girl hummed. "It wouldn't be completely gross to kiss you right now, would it?"
No makeup on, she looks good to me.
"How dare we do such a thing in front of the children?"
"Shut up," Luke pushed her shoulder against the side of the barn lightly and laughed, rolling his eyes with a playful grin. Nervously, Luke stood in front of her when she didn't move from against it. "I'm going to kiss you now."
It wasn't anything more than someone would expect between two awkward teenagers—their lips slotted together for the shortest of moments and when both parted, eyes diverted to the ground and shy smiles were placed on faces. Luke began to wonder if this may just have been the most genuine moment he'd ever been a part of. There were only a few he could think of on his list.
Michael popped into Luke's mind. Killing the quiet atmosphere, he hesitated, "I have to leave soon." He lifted her chin, as she hadn't yet found the courage to look up from the ground.
"Okay," Penny nodded, "I have to do stuff, too."
"What kind of stuff, huh? Ogling over me? 'Oh, Luke is just so cute and charming!'" Teasing continued until Penny reached for a shovel leaning against the barn. Before she could grab it, he stopped.
"I take it back. I'm never kissing you again," she promised with crossed arms.
"I kissed you."
"So? I said I'm never kissing you again."
Luke rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the girl, "I'll see you later, Pen." He pulled her arms from over her chest and her body towards him with a cheeky grin and placed smiling lips on hers, still shy and only after a second placing his hands at the base of her jaw to keep her close.
Later that night, Luke had made plans for Michael to stay over at his house. Michael wanted to hang out all day, but he told the boy that he had to help his mom with things around the house first or she said he couldn't come over—which was complete bullshit, of course, but Michael didn't need to know that.
He didn't want to tell Michael about his day with Penelope; some part of him just didn't feel right doing it. Maybe it was the knowledge that Michael—although he doesn't admit it—has a dislike towards this girl he's never even met. And maybe it was the underlying guilt attached to that knowing why he's come to dislike her. Luke can't boast about it to his face like that.
While he's upset with Michael, sure, Luke makes empty promises to himself that it doesn't matter what Michael thinks and he'll do whatever he wants, say whatever he wants without having to hold himself back because Michael gets upset so easily with things. But that doesn't mean he sticks to them when he's back in his right mind. He can't mess with someone's feelings like that, especially his best friend.
They lay in Luke's bed—or Michael did, while Luke's head was on his stomach and his legs were off the edge—talking about the same thing that always seemed to be their topic of conversation lately: rugby.
"We're meeting the rest of the team on Wednesday," Michael informed him.
Luke nodded, "Okay."
"You'll like them, I think," the hockey player assured him. "Think of them as not quite Landon, but not quite Craig."
"So, Ashton?"
"Almost. He's too smart."
"You have to be in order to be on a sports team."
"You don't have to be smart, you just have to get good grades," Michael corrected. "Otherwise Craig never would've made it."
Luke lifted his head up and glared at him, "Hey, I love Craig!"
"So do I," he shrugged, "doesn't make him any less of an idiot."
Luke went to further defend his newfound friend when something caught his eye as he turned his head. "Holy shit, you still have a Nintendo 64? How the fuck have I not noticed?" he gaped.
"I just got it back out the other day; played Smash Bros." Michael forgot how much of a video game nerd Luke was—after all, it's all the guy ever does since he doesn't believe he has other friends. Michael begs to differ.
"Bet I could beat you," Luke challenged, smirking.
"You couldn't beat me in anything," Michael laughed.
Luke glared. "Staring contest. Go."
Michael looks at him. "What?"
"Staring contest," he said again, sitting up to face Michael. "I'm going to beat you."
After only a few seconds Michael began pulling funny faces or snapping his fingers in Luke's face. He puffed out his cheeks and pulled on his ears, eyes still focused on Luke.
Shaking his head, Luke declared, "You can't distract me."
Michael's eyes lit up with realization; he could get Luke to give up. Getting over the initial nerves, he leaned closer to the blond boy's face and when asked what he was doing, shook his head.
Within seconds Michael had his lips against Luke's and only after Luke closed his eyes had he let his. And just as soon as it happened, it ended.
"You blinked," Michael whispered.
They could've just played Smash Bros.
+ + +
i have arrived wow welcome back from the dead @ myself
A LITTLE EXPLANATION: my junior year has been so eventful and full of friendship its unbelievable. I'm a whole lot happier than I was last school year even if I hadn't realized it. A lot has happened since we last heard from each other: I've been a lot closer to my friends aka a group that we named after all the guys' life of memes (because meme page admins (and not the normie text post bullshit kind u fukin fakes)). We've hung out every weekend/at least every other week since September and it's some of the greatest times I've ever had. So there's my reason for not being near the internet too often—I could never forget about you guys, or this book, or my other books. You mean too much to me for me to ever do that.
ALSO to answer some questions/get some hopes up:
- muke is getting there (as you can tell). michael has to sort through/care for his own mind before he tries to care for someone else's
- also luke has his feelings to deal with buuuut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hahAhj
- penelope isn't the one u all should be commenting angrily about just for future reference (all she wants is for her pigs 2 live a happy life pls leave her be)