- here's another poem I've written awhile back, again, if you're gonna use, please ask before you do it xx -
Aleigha's point of view
"Mayday Parade?" Calum asked me as he sat down beside me. I looked at him and nodded, smoke escaping my parted lips in the direction opposite from his face.
"Yeah, I'm in love with their music." I said and he nodded. "Came out here to have a drag too?"
"Yeah, didn't expect to see you out here though." He said and I shrugged as I placed the cigarette between my lips again.
He did the same, setting one between his lips and lighting it with a nice lighter. "Let me see that." I said and he handed me the lighter.
I turned it and looked it, chuckling lightly. "A fan gave it to me. She said she didn't like me smoking, but it's my life and she respects my choices." He said and I nodded. "Like it?"
"Just a tad impressed a fan would give you merch of your own band." I said cause it has lyrics to his own song.
"I just need another hit, you're the thing that I can't quit."
"It's cool, don't be like that." He said and we both laughed as I handed him back his lighter. I pulled mine out and then showed it to him. "That's nice."
"It was my grandfather's." I said, showing him the square, metal lighter. "He was the one who understood me mostly. I'd walk to his house, since it was like down the street, and he'd tell me stories to help me get my mind off of stuff."
"Did he pass?" Calum asked and I nodded. "I'm so sorry."
"It's fine. We all have our due date." I said, taking an extra long hit from my cigarette. "His was a year ago, ours is god knows when."
"Yeah..." He said and I smashed the cigarette, quickly pulling another out. "Are you a chainsmoker?"
"No," I said and shook my head. "I don't smoke often, but when I do, it's quite a few."I told him as I lit it.
He nodded as I placed it between my lips. "Is Michael asleep?" I asked, a hot feeling over me cause of the cigarette. It was relaxing almost.
"Yeah, I just got back from his bedroom." He said and held up a red notebook. I laughed and he nodded. "So what's this?"
"My advice, life lessons, and days that I wanted to share with Michael." I said and he nodded. "Why?"
"He only posted a picture of it and told the world it makes him happy." He said and I nodded. "Mind if I open it?"
"It's not mine, don't you see the name?" I asked and he cracked it open. "Oh yeah sure, I won't tell Michael. Your secret is safe with me."
Calum laughed and rolled his eyes as he set the cigarette between his lips as he looked at it. "I'm gonna read this outloud."
"Okay..." I said, slightly unsure because I don't remember what I wrote. I've written a lot of things to Michael.
"Your words were like poison
And once you said them
They flooded my veins and filled my brain
And now they're all I hear at night
And all I hear while I look in the mirror
And maybe I need a doctor to help me out
Because the poison in my veins is circulating
And now they're taking over my world
And all I can do is sit here
And try to bleed the words out onto these papers
And hope and pray that maybe
Just maybe
I can rip each and every one out of my system
Before they completely take over
And maybe
Just maybe
This poison won't kill me before that happens."
He looked at me expectingly and I nodded. "I wrote that yeah. I remember that day. People were talking shit about how I was dumb and depressed. I was stupid and suicidal. After the poem, on the back, I told him cutting wasn't the answer, which was hypocritical of me, cause after I wrote it, I ended up self harming." I told him and he flipped the page.
"Did you really think Michael cut himself?"
"I was supicious." I said and looked at him, flicking ash off the tip of my cigarette. "I grew to believe it after awhile and I talked to him and wrote to him as if he did."
He nodded and then handed me the notebook. "You're sweet." He said and I shrugged. "You two literally just clicked."
"I guess, as someone who's gone through what he has, and still does, I just tell him the things I want someone to say to me? I think that's why we got so close so fast. He told me what he wants someone to say to him and visa versa." I told him and he nodded.
"You know, I've never been through that, but I've had anxiety. I've been very self consious and let what others say get to me. Don't let people do that to you." He said and I nodded.
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks." I said and took a deep breath. "Smell that?"
"What?"
"Smells like my parents' disappointment." I said and he laughed as I breathed some smoke out.
"I can hear my parents yelling about lung cancer." Calum said and I agreed and I set the journal aside. "Look, Ally, I'm sorry I was a dick earlier. I was mad and afraid. I didn't mean to be so rude."
"Don't apologize, it's fine." I said and nodded. "I understand. You were worried and I was hiding such important stuff from you guys. Don't."
"No really, I was a huge dick." He said and grabbed my hand. "I didn't mean to be so rough with you."
"It's fine, don't worry about it." I said and nodded. "It's alright. I'm fine. It didn't hurt that much."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," I said and laughed. "You're acting like you hit me Calum, I'm fine. You didn't say anything that bad."
"Alright." He said and I hummed. "So, Mikey huh?"
"What about him?"
"Are you into him?" He asked me and I blushed a bit. "Don't lie to me now. That's my best friend. If he asked you out, would you say yes?"
"I owe him a date as is," I said and he rolled his eyes. "But yeah, I'd say yes. He's a great guy Cal, if someone would turn him down, they clearly have no taste."
"Cause Michael's really into you, I can see it. I just want to make sure he's in good hands. He's been my best friend since we were kids, don't hurt him." He said and I nodded.
"I wouldn't dream of it, promise." I said and he nodded. "I don't think I could hurt him even if I wanted to... not that I do or anything."
"I get you." He said and we both nodded. "A little word of the wise, Michael's more romance then sex, so if he gets touchy, it's cause he wants reassurance you're into him, not cause he's... well... You know."
"Of course you'd know that." I teased and he pushed me as he laughed. "Thanks though, I guess. It's like you expect us to become a couple."
"I do, so does Krystal, Luke, Ashton, Bryana, Arzaylea, Michael, you, literally everyone ever." He said and I rolled my eyes. "Might as well set ya'll on a dock and let you drift cause this is shipped." He said, pretending to stamp a box.
"That was so bad Calum, I almost want to hit you." I said and he gasped. "Almost." I repeated and stomped the cigarette out after I smoked it down.
"Hey guys, why is Mikey upset?" I heard Luke ask and I hummed. "He ran up to his bedroom."
"He was asleep?" I said confused and Calum agreed. "Calum said he was asleep."
"What's going on here?" Luke asked and crossed his arms. "Why does it matter if Mikey is asleep?"
"It's doesn't! I was just saying, Calum told me he went to sleep." I said and he glared at me. "What did I do?"
"Don't know, why don't you answer it yourself. What did you do?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Luke, we were just having a cigarette." Calum said and I agreed. "We had a chat about Michael-"
"Michael's not coming out of his room." Ashton said as he stood beside Luke. "What happened? Who pissed him off?"
"Why don't you ask our good friends, Aleigha and Calum?" Luke asked and it suddenly dawned on me what they meant.
"You think we have something going on?" I asked and Calum laughed. "You think we're together? No. We were just having a smoke. Don't believe me? The proof is literally on the floor, smashed buds."
"There is a lot you can do while you're smoking." Ashton said and I grabbed the red journal off of the bench.
"See this?" I asked and they looked at it. "We were talking about this alright? We were talking about what I've written to Michael and how I had a feel that he self-harmed before I even knew him. Calum was talking about how he thinks Mikey and I would be cute together. Me and Calum haven't done anything and we won't do anything."
"Aleigha isn't my type anyways! You know that!" Calum said and I nodded. "Krystal, I have something with Krystal, Ally's best friend! I couldn't do that to them, and you know damn well I could never take Michael's girl."
"I mean..." Luke looked between us and took a deep breath. "Michael thinks otherwise. Convince him because you know his history with girls."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." Calum said and I looked between them two.
"What do you mean?" I asked but they walked off. "Ash? What did they mean by that?"
"Michael's picky with who he dates and gives his number too, especially after his past few ex's. Um, one of them went straight to Calum, another to me. We didn't go for it of course, but Michael's very insecure and self-conscious. He gets so afraid of not being good enough for someone to be with him." He told me and I nodded.
"Oh..." I said and took a deep breath. "Should I go talk to him?"
"It's getting late actually, let us do this. You have school tomorrow, so I'll take you home. It's alright." He said and I nodded, not fighting him.
"Alright." I told him and followed him inside the house, hearing Michael yell at someone, Calum I'm assuming.
"You always do this to me! Always! With your-your perfect jawline and biceps and abs-You don't even have abs and yet girls yell and scream over them! You're so much better than me Calum! Why can't I be you?"
"Ash, are you sure-"
"Yes Aleigha, I promise, we've got this okay? It's fine." He told me but I couldn't help but feel bad.