Hey, so there might not be any more of John's POV for a while. You'll just have to figure out what John's feeling as Celia does!
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Enjoy,
xo.
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Chapter 10 - Found
Celia's POV
I crossed my arms and smirked at his shocked expression.
His arm hung limply by his side with his sword clutched loosely. He looked different, rougher. He was wearing plain clothes and his hair looked all tousled and slept in. He also had the beginnings of a beard growing in that framed his lips and made him look mature. There was no denying that living out in the forest agreed with him. I was relieved that he seemed to be doing okay for himself. This was a good spot he'd picked out.
He was still looking at me with a dazed expression and blinked a few times as if I might be a trick of the light.
I raised an eyebrow at him and all of a sudden his features became unreadable. I was startled at the change and wondered what had brought it on. Just as fast his lips turned down into a sneer and his eyes narrowed at me.
"What are you doing here?"
I was shocked at the coldness of his words and unconsciously took a step back. Where had that come from? Confused and flustered I opened my mouth to reply but found that no sound came out.
"I--I uhh..." He rolled his eyes at me and I felt my face coloring slightly. I quickly rearranged my face into what I hoped was a teasing smile. "I came to get you of course"
He obviously didn't hear the lilt in my voice, or if he did chose to ignore it. The already annoyed look on his face turned full on hostile and I found myself taking another step back feeling completely baffled.
"Well you wasted your time, I'm not going anywhere, and especially not with you"
I flinched at his tone. He must have seen the hurt written all over my face because his expression softened, but only for the briefest second, before it was replaced by a mask of arrogant indifference.
I was immediately furious with myself for acting so weak in front of him. He didn't have the right to get to me, not after what I'd gone through to find him. I hardened my expression and shot him a withering glare.
"Fine, stay out here alone, let's see how long you last" I snapped at him. If anything got to him out here, it would be the lack of company.
I whirled away before he had the chance to say anything and stalked off into the trees the way I had come.
With each step my anger melted away, but I couldn't put a name to the emotion that replaced it. Guilt? Hurt? Confusion?
Maybe some of each and more, or maybe I was just overwhelmed. I was exhausted from the search and lack of sleep.
It wasn't what I expected. I didn't know what would happen when I found him, whether he'd be glad or even relived to see me, if I'd apologise or brush over the our last night together like it never happened. Either way, I was way off.
I suppose in a small way it was what I wanted. I though once we got over our awkwardness things would go back to the way they had been before. And isn't that what just happened? Only I had stupidly been expecting something different; something more. Only I had no idea what exactly.
I guess it didn't matter now though anyway. I pushed through the last of the undergrowth and stepped over to Coriolis. She rubbed her head up against me as if sensing my tension. I let out a shaky laugh and started petting her mane soothingly.
My hands were shaking. With a sigh I buried my face in the saddle blanket. A shuddering breath later I closed my eyes against the rough fabric and felt tears staining my cheeks.
Was I back to this already?
***
Once I'd collected myself I looked up and realized with a start that more time had passed then I'd thought. It was already getting dark out and I hadn't done anything about my arrangements for the night.
Feeling numb I let my body work automatically to set up and light a fire. I quickly removed my packs from Coriolis and bundled everything up tightly in a brown piece of canvas that I strung up into a tree. I pulled the saddle blanket off of Coriolis and dragged my pallet over to the horses' side.
I prayed for a dreamless sleep and curled up under the stars, which tonight gave me no comfort. I pulled the blanket over my head as if it could shield me from the world and my stupid idea to come out here in the first place. Maybe tomorrow I would wake up in my own room, never having gone out on this fool's mission.
***
"BOO!"
I shot up with a gasp and my heart beating at three times its normal rate. I flailed about for my sword in a panic and felt like an idiot for being so ill prepared out in the Forest. My frantic movements only succeeded in tangling me up in the blanket and I cursed myself again wondering why I was still alive and drawing breaths.
Calm down, I needed to calm down. I took deep breaths while thinking frantically of a plan. It was only then that I heard muffled sounds from nearby.
As my heart beat erratically I scanned the clearing and my eyes landed on a crumpled heap on the ground. Was that John?
My heart skipped a beat before I realized he was still moving.
I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding when I noticed he was shaking... with... laughter?
He was laughing?
My foggy mind began to clear as realization hit me and I instantly felt my blood boil.
"What is wrong with you." I spoke quietly and menacingly, putting as much venom as I could muster into each word, and they seemed to do the trick.
He stopped mid laugh and picked himself up off the ground trying to keep a straight face. When he looked over and saw the icy glare I was shooting him he looked momentarily surprised. His eyes then took in the rest of the picture and he bent over clutching his stomach as another round of laughter broke forth.
I looked down and realized I was still sitting in a tangled mess and glared at the blanket as if it was the cause of undermining my intimidation. Furiously I threw it off and stood up. Pulling my sword out in one smooth motion I took two strides over to him and slammed it halfway into the ground.
That got his attention.
"What is WRONG with you" I screamed again.
He flinched back but quickly recovered and smirked at me.
"Not a morning person are we?" He teased.
I glared daggers at him and could feel my face heating up with suppressed rage. His smirk faltered and was replaced with a look of annoyance.
"Jeez Celia, it was just a joke," He said condescendingly.
"A joke?" I echoed in disbelief.
He opened his mouth for what I'm sure was a snarky reply, but I didn't give him a chance to deliver it. I pulled my sword out of the ground and levelled it to right between his eyes before he could even register the movement.
He started going cross-eyed keeping the point in sight and finally decided to take me seriously. He closed his eyes and I let out a sound of frustration before moving the point away from his face and throwing it as hard as I could behind him.
He heard the whistle of air as it passed by his ear and turned around to see it embedded into a nearby tree. He slowly looked back at me, fear written clearly all over his face and took a few steps back.
"Everything's a joke to you isn't it?" I asked coldly. "You don't even think! You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself. You're a selfish, pathetic, COWARD! "
His face flushed with anger and he opened his mouth to contradict me, but I wasn't about to give him the chance.
I could feel the rage building inside of me, could feel the words burning their way up my throat and spilling out like a rush of hot lava, and boy did I ever plan to leave a path of destruction in my wake.
"Do you even know what you put everyone through? Your parents were blindsided, but you didn't even think of them did you? Didn't think how this would affect them? To have their damned worthless son run away without a thought. You weren't there to see that crushed look on their faces, or how grief stricken they were. No, as usual someone else had to be there to pick up the pieces of your mess! "
His defences crumbled as I raged on and he hung his head lower and lower, but never once broke eye contact. Emotions passed like rapid fire through his eyes; pain, anger, fear, hurt, guilt, surprise, confusion; and others that passed too quickly for me to identify.
"And do you know what I went through to get here, how many hours I spent on my hands and knees on the ground trying to follow your path. How worried I was that I would somehow have to explain to your parents that their idiot son had gotten attacked by some crazed animal or worse! And I'll bet you didn't think about the Kingdom, what kind of mess that would cause. We had to hide it from everyone that you were missing. But you didn't care about that either. No, you decided to run off and have a little adventure." I ended in disgust.
I took a moment to catch my breath, fully ready to launch back into my accusations when his eyes flashed in annoyance.
"Don't stand there and judge me Celia, you don't even know why I left. Damn it! I didn't just wake up and walk away I had my reasons!" He yelled.
"Or really, and what, pray tell, would they be," I said sarcastically.
"I can't do this, I can't be King! I don't know the first thing about it and I've supposedly been being prepared for it my whole life. Well guess what? I don't feel prepared, I just spent a week in a town where everything was new to me, and I was as ignorant as a child. There's a whole Kingdom around me and I haven't seen any of it, I don't know how my own people live. I've had this ridiculous sheltered life where I don't know the land, the people, how punishment is doled out, where training masters lie to me about my skill and make everyone else lie too, where I have a deadline to get married and wasn't taught the first damn thing about living out in a Forest. In one night with the Knights I learned more about survival than my whole life in the castle. In one training session with you I learned more about control and discipline in fighting than all my years of practice. In one day at the town I saw how people really lived."
I gave him a disgusted look. "Do you even hear yourself John? Not everything is about you! And don't think I don't know how coddled you've been all your life. But do you know what the beauty of being King is? You can change all that. Everyone else, the village folk you seem to envy so much? They can't do a thing about the lot they were dealt, but you can. If you didn't like the way you had to grow up then do something about it, because unlike most you actually have the power to. You can get laws rewritten, you can make new traditions, make it so that your kids and future Kings aren't limited the way you've been. You have no idea how much you have, and you want to throw it all away!"
I had been pacing back and forth, too disgusted to look at him, but when I finally did he only had a blank and bewildered look on his face. This was hopeless. All of a sudden the fight went out of me. What was the point to all of this of it just bounced right off? He didn't care, didn't even understand.
As the realization hit me my anger dissipated as fast as it had come and I shook my head and gave him a crooked sarcastic half smile.
"You know what?" I said softly "Forget it. I won't try to change your mind, or even drag you back. I'm moving camp tonight so you won't have to worry about running into me, and I won't come looking for you. You're on your own. Just like you wanted."
I expected him to turn around and leave, smirk, something. But he just stood there looking at me strangely. I started feeling uncomfortable under his gaze and after a few moments wandered off through the trees. I wasn't worried about getting lost, it was only a matter of looking out for distinctive features to keep track of my path. Hopefully when I got back he would be gone.
***
After an hour had gone by I headed back to my clearing and was relieved that he had left. I walked over to the tree I had thrown my sword in figuring I shouldn't be without it out here.
I stared at the trunk in confusion. I was sure this was the right tree, but there was nothing here. I scanned left and right but didn't see a protruding hilt anywhere. It shouldn't have been easy to miss.
Had someone taken it? The thought made me instantly tense and I walked back to Coriolis casually while glancing quickly around me. Nothing seemed out of place.
I was just about to start worrying when I noticed some things did look different. The fire had been built up and there was a fresh pile of branches nearby. My saddle blanket was sitting folded neatly next to Coriolis, and... there right beside it was my scabbard with the sword tucked in.
Had John done all this? Why would he? Especially after all I'd said to him. And yet it seemed the only logical explanation. How had he managed to get my sword out of the tree in the first place? Well, that was something.
Feeling the exhaustion from the last few days catch up to me I pulled a book from my saddlebag. I hoped it would do the trick and get today's argument out of my mind. I sighed and settled back against a tree, pulling the blanket over my knees.
***
I stopped reading when the sun dipped below the trees and got up with a sigh. I had to get moving and find another place before it got dark out. Collecting everything from the ground I threw it all half hazardly into a bundle and tied it to the saddle. Stomping out the fire I scattered the ashes and pulled my bags down from the trees. I took one last look around to make sure everything looked the way I had found it and started thinking about which direction to go.
The sounds of rustling leaves broke me from my trance. I blinked in surprise as John stumbled out of the trees tugging Shadow's reins and trying to tie his bags onto the saddle at the same time. I stared at him uncertainly until he got everything under control and looked over at me. For a fleeting second he looked embarrassed, but then crossed his arms and stared at me defiantly.
What was he doing exactly? I considered asking but was too tired to get into it right now so I just rolled my eyes at him and turned away.
I jumped up on Coriolis and headed into the woods without looking back; if he wanted to come along he had better keep up. We rode in silence until it started to get visibly darker, and I looked for a place to stop for the night.
I knew we'd been riding parallel to the Newberry River so I cut west into the dense trees until we hit it. We trotted on for a while longer before I found a suitably sheltered area for us to dismount.
Wordlessly John began collecting rocks and branches to build up a fire pit. I removed the packs and watered the horses, then tied them carefully to a tree where they could graze. We moved around each other silently and it struck me how seamlessly we worked; neither of us trying to do the same job or get in each others' way.
My gaze kept wandering over to John, and every now and then I'd catch him looking at me with a glimmer of pain or sadness in his eyes that disappeared quickly when he noticed me, and was replaced with his mask of indifference.
I vaguely wondered how long we could keep up the silent treatment and who would be the first to breach it. I knew I'd said things to him I shouldn't have but I had originally come out here to help him, not goad him. He just always manages to provoke me, even when I came with the best of intentions.
Even if I had wanted to say something my pride wouldn't let me. It was a show of weakness I couldn't afford again; I was sick of being made vulnerable by him.
I pulled my pallet over by the fire and flopped down on it with my book. Any distraction would be welcome right now. I felt a pair of eyes on me and, glancing up, noticed that John was looking at me with a bemused expression.
Knowing it was childish but not caring I stuck my tongue out at him and was surprised when he tried to hide a smile. That was not the reaction I was expecting.
He dropped his pallet down on the opposite side of the fire and wandered off into the woods. The idiot didn't even take his sword with him. I was debating whether or not it was worth breaking the battle of silence to call him back for it when I heard an unmistakable yelp of surprise from the direction he had just gone.