It was calling her. She could hear it as she stood outside in the hallway waiting for Nathan to unlock the door.
Once open she sauntered into the room and flopped against the sweet comfort of couch cushions, allowing them to suck her into a sweet embrace of warmth and relaxation. Her head fell against the arm of the couch sleepily, in an attempt to relax the raging nerves that were flooding every muscle and cell in her body.
Nathan gave a gentle sigh, tossing his keys into the bowl by his door before removing his shoes and rubbing his wrists in irritation. He made his way towards the kitchen, hoping something to eat or drink could calm the fire in his stomach.
That asshole.
What was Sinclair thinking trying to leap out of his chains?
Nathan and Hazel had sat in the courtroom for what felt like ages after everyone had left. He could remember a specific moment; the moment that made his eyes swell with rage and fade with agony at the same time.
He was adjusting himself while holding Hazel in his grasp, getting himself more comfortable in the wooden courtroom benches when he felt a gasp emerge from the female before him. Her hands had clutched tighter to his jacket, her head dug deeper into his neck and chest.
"Don't." She had breathed softly, a whimper working it's way up in her throat.
He stared at her, bewildered in heartbreak as his body shielded her. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere." He had cooed, placing a hand at the back of her head, assuring her that he was the barrier between her and Sinclair dare he return. It wasn't until individuals of the next group began to filter in did Hazel grip his hand and ask to be led out.
The ride home she refused to make eye contact with him and instead stared blindly out the window. Yet nothing registered in her mind. It passed through her like a breeze; meaningless.
Now, here they were at home. Her sprawled out on the couch, her arm covering her eyes and tear-stained cheeks, and him sauntering to the kitchen.
The sight broke his heart.
He knew she was embarrassed. She always was after a breakdown of some sort. She always got shy and ignored him for a while. He understood. He didn't like it, but he understood. At least as best as he could.
He chewed on his lower lip, watching as her self-loathing rolled around once more. He hated watching her whenever it did. His hand removed itself from the cupboard he was reaching for, instead making his way closer to his love on the couch.
He kneeled down, arms resting on the edge of the cushions. "Haz," He breathed softly, watching her arm shift nervously. "Are you doing okay?"
Her arm slowly moved, exposing the closed eyes that hid behind them. The tears on her cheeks had dried, leaving behind rubbed-at trails from where they had once travelled. "I'm just stressed." She sighed as she moved her hands to rest against her stomach.
Nathan took a seat on the floor, facing her so he could get a better look as he spoke. Her legs extended under their coffee table but his eyes remained solely on her.
She was quiet, her voice dancing on whether or not to speak. "That was awful."
"I know, I know," He hushed, hearing the emotion in her voice as she spoke. It didn't sound as heartsick or glum as before. Rather, it sounded defeated. As if the mere thought of the case just made her want to sleep. Really, he couldn't blame her. After a while of working on a case it got to be that way. "But it's okay because it's over. He's done, he's locked away."
She gave a slight nod, as much as she could lying down. "Yeah,"
Nathan nodded in response, his heart feeling sick just watching the way she beat herself up. Hopefully, now that it was put to rest, she could started the healing process. All that was left on her plate was this funeral. That could kick start the closure she needed to move on from the tragedy that wracked her life and mind for so long.
Slowly, she pushed herself up to a sitting position. "I'm going to lie down."
Nathan shifted himself onto the couch, placing a hand atop of hers before she could vanish. "Rest well, okay? And call me if you need anything."
Her eyes, finally, shifted to his. They remained there, studying the sincerity in his eyes. The lack of judgement. The lack of irritation.
The edges of her lips curved, forcing a small smile onto her face. "Okay, I will." She stood, leaving behind a warm seat where she once was and made her way into the bedroom, the door almost closing entirely behind her.
His eyes fell as she vanished into their room. Using his knees, he pushed himself to his feet and gave a small sigh as he started for the kitchen. As he entered, however, his eyes snagged the tumbling piles of papers resting on the kitchen table.
Hazel.
With his gut wrenching, his fingers brushed against the loose notes on the glass surface. He grazed over each paper, not paying much attention to the words that rested against them. Until he reached the last one.
"The set date for the memorial service for Mr. Ned and Mrs. Harmony Daniels..."
The funeral. All of this all led to the funeral.
The sound of the shower flickered on.
Nathan frowned, closing the folder with a sigh.
-------------
Yet again, he woke up to an empty bed.
His arm had reached out, hoping to meet soft skin but instead hitting cold fabric. Much like the day before, his eyes opened and he nervously exited the room.
Mentally, he prayed that his love would be in the next room. Physically, he took a deep breath and opened the door with a hesitant gaze.
Hazel sat at the kitchen table, papers scattered around her, words tumbling into the phone, hands flipping through every page she could see.
"No no, they don't need to be fancy. Just nice. Simple is perfect."
Nathan frowned, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms in agony. She was so focused and set in her ways that she hadn't even heard him awaken. She hadn't noticed or acknowledged the door, the leaning or the sound of his feet shuffling against the hardwood. She hadn't flushed at the sight of his bed-head or the way his white v-neck clung to his chest or how his navy pajama pants hung against him. The sight always made her cheeks burn. But she didn't notice any of it. She was too zoned in.
Her hair had been sitting in a ponytail, he could tell from the hair tie that sat on the table with hairs protruding from the seams. She sat in a pair of black sweatpants with white string that wound themselves over the ankles of her white socks. As she liked to wear to bed, she toted a pink loose v-neck that hung loosely off her frame.
"Great, thank you." A click. Then disconnected. The phone only had a break for a brief moment before the brunette began pounding numbers into it once more, bringing it up to her ear after only a gasp of air.
"Hi, I'm calling about the transportation for Mr. and Mrs. Daniels' service? I was told to call and confirm." She nodded, jotting some information down on a notepad already cluttered with notes and information. Phone numbers and addresses and names and times were all scribbled and jotted and scrawled along every inch of every page that had used.
Nathan stood taller, working his way forwards to the frazzled female sitting and madly working away. Much like she had been every other day since her injury. If she wasn't lying down or getting their case together, she sat at the table working on funeral arrangements.
"Okay great, thank you." She breathed, relief flooding each of her words. Nathan slid closer as she hung up with the beep ending her call resonating through the intimate kitchen.
With a hand grazing the table beside her to lean on for support, Nathan leant down and planted a loving kiss against the back of her head. "Good morning, love." He breathed softly, allowing his other hand to find it's way caressing the skin on her neck and shoulder. A part of him couldn't help it anymore. When she was around he wanted to touch her. To feel her skin under his or to play with her hair or to twirl her fingers in his. A reminder that she was present. That she wasn't going anywhere.
"Morning," She called softly with her voice, while failing, attempting to seem cheerful.
Nathan bit his inner cheek and used the hand that was cupping her shoulder to swipe the phone from her fingers just as she was locating another phone number. Her finger had been scanning the mess of a notepad just as her fingers suddenly felt cold and empty.
"H-Hey!" She squealed, spinning and throwing her arm out in an attempt to snag it back. Instead she only got a brush of the back of his shirt as he slid into the kitchen and set the phone on top of the fridge. Too high for someone of her height to reach. Her legs slipped out of the chair until she was standing and pouted seriously before crossing her arms.
Nathan gave a small smirk. "Hey, just take a break for breakfast, okay?"
Hazel frowned. "I can't take a break, I need to get all of this done as soon as I can."
Nathan's brows furrowed as he turned to the fridge, cracking it open and removing the contents that he could use for their meal. "Haz, we can work on it after together, okay? Just take a break for a little while, you've earned it."
"No that's not how it works!"
The panic in her voice caused him to turn, his eyes catching the brunette with her palms resting on either side of her forehead. Her eyes were shut, her head was lowered, something was off.
"I have too much to do, I need to get it done now. I don't have time to lose!"
Before Nathan could do as much as hold a hand out she had swivelled on her heels and started for their bedroom, her heavy breathing heard from the kitchen.
Nathan stood taller, abandoning the mission he had to make something for them to eat and instead turning his energy to his partner making a break for it.
Her fingers had worked into her hair, clutched themselves into fists at the back of her head. Her eyes and head remained downcast, nothing but a sea of black as her eyes wound shut.
He jumped forwards, scurrying after her desperately before she vanished. "Hey, hey, Haz listen to me,"
His hand reached out, brushing sweetly at her shoulder as a call for her to turn around. Instead, under his fingers she jumped, startled at the sudden touch and flipped around with wide eyes at the sudden physical contact.
His hand flickered back to his chest while eyes watched her intently as she flipped around, studying her reaction to what had just taken place.
Realizing what she had done and allowing her reaction to sink in, her expression fell and turned her gaze to the floor. She hadn't intent to jump, it was almost second nature now. She hadn't wanted Nathan to think she feared his touch. She adored it. She loved the feeling of his hand against her skin, the way he would brush his fingers against her, just being thankful she was there. Hazel didn't fear him, she feared what her thoughts could do to her. Her eyes remained fixated on the ground, lifting her hand and using the base of her palm to rub at one of her eyes in irritation at herself. At her reaction. At her reflex.
"Haz-?"
Before he could continue, Hazel cut him off. "I-I'm sorry. I'm just," She sighed in frustration, her palm sliding down to her cheek and instead squishing against the side of her face in remorse. She shook her head, angry that she couldn't get the words out. Angry at how flustered she had become. She threw her hands down to her sides. "I'm just--"
"Hey, hey," Nathan breathed softly, stepping closer with his hands out in front of him as a sign of peace. "It's fine, I understand."
Hazel shook her head, her breathing catching in her throat. Her eyes clouding over in frustration. Look what she was doing to him. To herself. She was a mess, he shouldn't need to understand it.
"No, it's not okay. I'm a mess." Her breathing quickened again, she could feel anxiety rising in her stomach. "There's too much to do, and there's not enough time. I can't take breaks, and look what I'm doing to you! And to me!" Her voice had risen, almost at a yell. She was passionate about the topic, Nathan could tell. Her hands, which had originally been tossed around her in emphasis, had retracted into her body. To her neck and cheeks that she rubbed and clawed at restlessly in stress. "It's not okay!" She wailed, her head lowering into the hands she had pried from scratching her skin.
Nathan leaned forwards, accepting her as she lowered herself into his arms. "Sh, sh, don't say that." He breathed, walking her over to the couch. He guided her, one arm wrapped around her back and the other touching one of her arms occupied in hiding her face. Shielding it from his gaze. The adoring one that he felt would never change, but that she feared would.
He gently led her to a seat, allowing himself to sit beside her. He carefully peeled her hands away from her face, taking them in his palms. Hers on top. His underneath. His thumb holding hers above.
"Haz," He said softly, the first words he spoke that allowed her eyes to reconnect with his. "Tell me what's bothering you. Tell me everything, I'll listen."
Before she spoke, he listened intently to her breathing. The way it flowed, if he could visibly see her chest hammering, if she seemed calm. In a moment she could be sent back into a breathing attack, and he wanted to keep a look out.
Hazel stared at him for a moment of silence, of recollection, of genuine thought, before taking a deep breath and beginning.
"The trial was so stressful. And exhausting. Before and after it I was scared out of my mind." Her last few words became breathy, as if exhausted just by merely thinking about it. His thumbs slowed against her skin. "Now it's over and the last thing I need to do is this funeral." Her eyes swelled so she closed them and shook her head, composing herself before resuming. "I'm the only one organizing. I'm my family's only hope. And I feel a lot of pressure on my back to do well and it's so stressful when you're single-handedly responsible for the goodbye of your parents--"
That's when he could tell. She rambled, her breathing heightened, her stress peaked, so he brought her into his side and cradled her head into the side of his neck. He brought her knees over him, her legs resting atop his. She sat bewildered at his actions, but soothed as she felt his arms drift around her. One around her back holding her arm and propping her up, the other sitting atop her left arm, tracing the veins that filled her with life.
She wanted to fight back, to snake out of his warm hold and get back to work, but instead she felt herself melt into his touch. Her muscles turned into mush. Her head flopped limply against his body. She became putty in his hands.
"Did you get any sleep last night, love?"
She could feel a smile work onto her face at the nickname. He had started saying it after the trial, after they had gotten home. It had calmed her down in the courtroom enough to get her to leave. Now it seemed like just another sweet phrase he addressed her as.
"No," Her voice was soft and fragile. Maybe it was because of the proximity or the sweet names, or maybe it was because she was so exhausted. "I couldn't."
She could feel him exhale from the ear she had pressed up against his neck. "You can now." He breathed softly. "Just sleep."
"Nath--"
"Everything will still be here when you wake up." He cooed, lifting the hand holding her back to brush some loose hairs away from her sleepy eyes. "Sleep. Get some rest. You deserve it."
She gave a big exhale, a slight relief to the male to see that her breathing was rapidly returning to normal. "Okay,"
"Sh," He cooed, the hand rubbing his arm lifting to adjust her shirt against her shoulder for more comfort. "Sh, just sleep."
His lips pressed themselves against the peak of her forehead, pushing her past her final barrier and into sleep. He smiled sweetly, his fingers lovingly brushing up and down her arm once more.
Despite seeing her chest rise and fall with the peace of sleep and her lips part ever-so-slightly, Nathan remained there. He remained tracing her skin and tugging her closer when she sleepily adjusted herself. Keeping the hair out of her face and assuring her back was well supported.
After a while of watching her, a sweet smile upon his face as he watched his love finally relax, he stood. He set her down in the spot he had previously occupied, despite her hands clinging to his shirt as he did so. He placed her down in the warmth, vanishing quickly to retrieve a blanket from the closet and wrapped her up to get a better rest. With another peck on the forehead, he stretched his arms and made eye contact with the table. The one which had caused her oh-so-much grief.
He cracked his knuckles. "Let's get to work."
-------------
She had only stirred once, but he had managed to keep it under control. Nathan had just gotten off the phone with the funeral home, assuring that their space was still reserved for the gathering after the service.
Next, catering.
Just as he was locating the number out of her scribbled notepad he heard a gentle groan from the couch with the shifting of fabric against fabric. He fixated on the movements, watching as brown hair shuffled about on the couch.
He had leapt into action, sliding in front of her and kneeling before her disoriented figure. "Hey, hey," He whispered, one hand cupping a cheek and sweetly setting her head back down against her seat. "Go back to sleep, it's okay. You're okay." A gentle hum escaped her lips which curved at the idea of more rest. The male couldn't help but grin. "Sweet dreams." He whispered, his thumb brushing against her forehead as she vanished back into her dreamland. He placed another sweet kiss there, hearing her murmur sweetly underneath his lips before he pulled away, watching the way her lips remained in their sweet smile.
Instantly, he was back at the table, smashing the number for the catering company into the landline.
It wasn't until later that afternoon did she truly awaken. It had been a few hours - mid-afternoon - by the time Nathan heard another groan for the coach. This time he didn't rush to her side. He sat at the table, hands holding the paper as he watched her body slowly lift into his view.
Hazel's hair was staticky, which she quickly flattened while her eyes, still dripping with sleep, scoured the room.
She pushed herself to her feet, her blanket moving with her. "Nathan?" She called, turned to the table in confusion and tugging her blanket tighter around her shoulders. "Nathan, I'm sorry. I was going to work more but I--"
Her voice faded out as she drew closer, his eyes lifting to meet hers. Only when the realization slowly began to seep in did his face contort into a giddy smile.
Her eyes flickered to his from the paperwork neatly stacked at the corner of the table. "Nathan," Her finger gestured to the paperwork awaiting her.
Nathan simply grinned.
"Nath, did you--?"
He chuckled sweetly, the astonishment in her eyes and the glee in her rosy cheeks too much to bare. "It's all done, yes." He replied sweetly, allowing the newspaper to fall back against the now-cleaned table. "The only thing left to do is the guest list. Everything else is now taken care of."
Her eyes widened, filled with awe, bursting at the seams with pride and joy. "Really? It's all done for me?"
He held a hand out for her to take and for him to hold, his eyes sparkling with glee. "All done for you, Haz."
Her mouth gaped and widened into an unmistakable grin. She surged forwards, blanket and all, wrapping him in a sweet, fuzzy embrace. His arms worked under the blanket around her waist and back, the heat radiating from her figure as he held her close. "It's all done now, Haz. You can relax." He could feel her body quiver from happy giggles mixed with thankful sobs that escaped her lips. Complete joy and gratitude in his actions towards her.
"Thank you. Thank you, Nathan. Thank you."
He kissed her ear lovingly. "Of course, love."
She pulled away, her arms still wrapped around his neck, her body leaning into him between his legs, and the blanket still wrapping their bodies together.
Nathan smiled sweetly tugging at her waist and sliding his hand to the small of her back, the other holding just above her elbow as he sweetly brought his lips to her own.
They remained that way, sitting in eachother's holds, feeling the electricity spark between them, the butterflies tumbling in their stomachs, the warmth from the hands of the other.
Until they ran out of air.
The two pulled away, smiling lovingly at each other, with nothing but adoration for the other in their gaze.
"Can I help you with the crossword?" Hazel hushed, a smile tugging at her lips again. A good guess would be that it wouldn't vanish for the remainder of the day, and that when they curled into bed that night she would curl up to him with a grin.
Nathan smirked, gesturing to the seat beside him with a single cup resting before it. "You can even have my coffee."