Authors note,
(See previous note from part 1)
-M xx
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It had been two weeks since I had been at PJs flat. Yeah, I missed him, I missed him like hell. But I couldn't stay Around and hurt him like that. If he was able to watch me shrivel up and die over these next 6 weeks, he would try to shrivel up and die with me and I simply could not let that happen
I sat on my sofa watching old Dragon Ball Z reruns when my phone rang. I already knew who it was. It was a text Sophie.
Sophie: "get down here. Be quick. It's urgent." It read.
Me: "ok? What happened?" I texted back.
Sophie: "it's PJ. He tried to do it again."
I didn't even have to ask what he 'tried to do again'.
Me: "alright. On my way."
I got up and got ready as quickly as possible. I figured I would be there for a few days, but I didn't even have to pack. Most of my clothes were still there anyways.
I grabbed my black backpack that a took practically everywhere and slipped on my shoes. I was off.
-
The train pulled into Brighton Station and I exited, naturally getting strange looks. Yes, I know I look dead.
I waked in the cold drizzling rain until I got to the flat.
I stepped into the doorstep and closed my eyes for a moment to pray to whatever is out there that he is okay.
I unlocked the door with my key and stepped in.
I hung my coat and slipped off my shoes, still struggling to keep my balance. It was clearly getting worse. What people would consider years of aging, was taking over me in weeks time.
There was no one in the living room. It seems that PJ was still locked away in his room.
I walked into his room. Yep, he was still there. He was lying face down on the bed, his head stuffed in between two pillows.
It was the middle of the day. He should be awake by now.
I stepped in and gave his lower back a little scratch and sat down next to him. He didn't move or make a sound.
I rolled over and laid next to him. I lifted the pillow from the top of his head and tossed it aside.
I sat and played with his hair for a few minutes. Hopefully, he was ok.
-
After a while, PJ finally looked up at me. His eyes were red, as if he had been crying for hours. Days even.
But I knew he had been crying for longer than days.
Weeks.
More like months.
"Why did you come back?"
I kissed his forehead. I pointed to myself, made a heart shape with my hands, and then pointed to him. This menu 'I love You."
'I love you too' is what I expected. But that's isn't what I got.
"Stop fucking leaving before no one is here to stop me." He tugged up his sleeve, revealing bandages wrapped up both of his arms.
I picked up his arm and rolled up the sleeve once again. I kissed the bandages gently, trying my best not to hurt him.
The leather bound notebook and black pin sat on the nightstand, exactly where I and left them. I picked them up and flipped to an empty page.
"I don't want you to have to see me die. It's going to happen." I wrote and showed it to him.
"Stay with me until you do. I need these next six weeks." PJ kissed the back of my hand and sat up.
I nodded.
If I was here then I could make sure he wasn't going to ya know, try it again.
I got under the covers and we both fell asleep smiling. That's the first time that had happened to me in a while, and i imagine the same for PJ.
-
We both awoke to a loud knocking sound.
"Uuuuuhhhh!" PJ stretched and squealed.
"I'll get it." I stood up and exited the bedroom.
I opened the door to see a parade of familiar faces. Sophie, Louis, Dan, Phil, and Chris all stood outside, everyone clutching flowers and packages.
I waved at them, earning looks of shock.
I motioned for them to come inside and I hugged everyone as they entered.
I motioned for them to follow me into the living room. Everyone sat down and left their gifts and flowers on the coffee table.
"Where's Peej?" Sophie whispered me me. I pointed to his bedroom. She nodded.
"Why won't you speak to us?" Phil asked, sounding concerned. Everyone nodded.
PJ had not told them! Holy hell he really wasn't talking to anyone.
I held up my index finger, signaling that I needed a second.
I slowly but surely made my way to the bedroom. I patted PJs back and he looked up at me.
I grabbed his hand and pulled his out of bed like a little kid who doesn't want to go to school.
Eventually, he cooperated and stood up. I pulled him by the hand into the living room.
Everyone stood up at the sight of PJ not lying in bed crying. They greeted him and he kept silent. Everyone sat back down.
He stood silently next to me in front of our little crowd of friends.
"Will someone just please explain to me why Y/N won't speak?" Dan asked.
There was complete silence for a moment.
Dead silence.
"She can't." PJ sniffled at a broken whisper. A tear fell down my cheek.
"What do you mean she can't?" Louis asked.
"SHE HAS FUCKING CANCER, ALL RIGHT?" PJ shouted threw heavy tears and uneven breaths. "ITS IN HER VOCAL CORDS AND LUNGS!"
I turned and hugged him, he hugged back.
Everyone was glaring at me with looks of shock and pity.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry." Sophie hugged me snugly.
"She has 6 weeks." PJ slowly spoke. Everyone gasped and Phil started to cry.
Everyone then gave me painful hugs and told me that they were sorry and that they loved me. The same thing I got from everyone when they found out I was basically dead.
We sat and chatted for a while and everyone gave PJ his gifts and Flowers. He never really liked accepting gifts from people. He opened them without a word, probably not wanting to argue. He quietly said thank you do everyone and then they left.
-
PJ and I were sitting on the couch cuddling and watching Ponyo. I missed this while I was gone.
I pulled out my phone and went to 'notes'. I started to type.
"I've got a doctors appointment tomorrow." I showed it to him.
"I'm coming with you." PJ said bluntly.
I started to type again.
"If I let you come with me then you have to promise to keep your cool. These things can get pretty rough." I handed the phone to him.
"Keep my cool." He whispered to himself. "Keep my cool. Keep my cool. Keep my cool." He sighed. "Okay."