I have ben trying to upload for the past hour. My parents are very angry at me for wasting my time at the computer. You guys are lucky that I did not just throw my computer out of the window in anger (of course, my fear of my father's ire might have had something to do with that). Totally spoiled my mood...you people will just have to make me happier now! Loads of reviews, please? *makes puppy eyes*
CHAPTER 16
Rachel was moving under the exhilarating effects of finally giving in to the mutiny festering in her heart and before she knew it, she was poised on the threshold of her dreary little sanctuary with her bonnet in hand, ready to take flight. It was so easy…no one questioned her decision and the landlady cheerfully suggested a short-cut to a nearby park. It would only be for a short time. She wouldn’t even go to the park, though the idea was vastly tempting. Oh no, she would just take a small stroll around the block to feel the fresh air on her face, to stretch her legs a bit. Andrew wouldn’t even know; she would be back long before he reappeared. He himself had reported that there had been no signs of danger anywhere.
And if he had not been so tardy in looking after me, she whined inwardly, I would not have been forced to take matters into my own hands! He didn’t keep his promise to take me around even once.
But reason returned at last to her fevered brain, as did her sense of humor regarding the situation. Her hands halted in the process of tying on her bonnet.
Just what were you thinking of, my fine woman? Her conscience chided. In her mind's eye, Rachel could almost see it putting imaginary hands on its hips and tapping an insubstantial foot. So now you are prepared to throw away everything to achieve a few moments of stolen enjoyment? Get back in your room this instant! And stay there till HE tells you to come out! The best laid plans of men are brought down by foolish chits like you. With such insubordination in the ranks, how will the poor Colonel win this battle?
Lord, who would have thought that one’s conscience could be so nagging and superior? Yes Teacher – see, here I retreat back in all my shamed glory.
And thus, Rachel backed away into the house at the last minute.
Xxxxx
She had been lying on her bed for half an hour in an attempt to pass the time daydreaming when her bedroom door was jolted open without warning. Andrew stood there in her room with his hand tightly holding on to the door-knob, breathing hard and apparently in the grips of a wild frenzy. Her face became suffused with blushes of outraged modesty. What did he mean by entering her bedroom like this, for goodness’ sake? God help her, was he drunk?
But before she could open her mouth to voice any of her thoughts, Andrew had walked over to her side and hauled her out of the bed without any ceremony, grabbing her arms hard and drawing her close to his body. Indecorously close – Rachel could see the blue flecks in his eyes and feel the heat emanating from his body. His breath raised the tiny hairs curling on her temples. She had never seen him like this – he was pulsating anger and seemed to be on the verge of shaking her till her teeth rattled. And yet, his eyes also spoke of some contrary emotion she could not put a finger on…
The shocked look on her face brought Andrew to his senses. He struggled with himself for a second before visibly reining in his temper. His arms fell to his side as he retreated to the end of the room, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking several deep breaths. The atmosphere was so charged that Rachel could not utter a word even when she finally had the chance; the silence between them stretched on and on while he mastered his emotions. Finally, his voice came out in a strained whisper.
“Just what do you think you were doing forty minutes ago, when you stood on the front step with your bonnet in hand? You were planning to go out, weren’t you, despite all I had told you about the dangers concerned.”
The blood drained from Rachel’s face, only to return with a vengeance in shame at her almost-truancy being caught out. Averting her face, she stuttered, “So you saw me? I’m sorry about that Mr. Fairfax, it was temporary insanity – if I can put it that way. I swear I did not go out after all; I recalled your words and stayed back.”
He looked at her then and spoke conversationally, “It almost was too late, though. There was a man staking the front door, for who knows how long, in expectation of taking your life with a brute of a gun. Your preparations to go out gave the poor man hope and he had got it all cocked and ready when you finally turned around and retreated. Letting me breathe again after what felt like an eternity, may I add.”
Rachel’s hand flew to her mouth as she grasped the enormity of the situation. Momentarily speechless, she could only stare at Andrew as his words sunk in. She had been that close to disaster…
“Ah, I see you understand now,” he continued in the same politely detached tone, which frightened her more than his shouts might have done. It signified how tightly his rage was leashed, as if it would break out of his control if he gave it the slightest freedom. “Somehow the news of our current position has reached the De Manleys earlier than expected. Well, the menace is temporarily at bay. While he was standing there, cursing heartily no doubt at your lack of feminine sympathy with his impatience, I accosted a patrolling policeman and directed his attention towards the suspicious character who had been loitering near respectable residences – possibly with the idea of mischief. He is trying to explain his way out in the police station as we speak. Now, if you would be kind enough, you should pack. We are leaving this instant.”
Rachel felt bewildered. Was he feeling so betrayed by her fleeting insubordination, then, that he was punishing her by being distant? And yet, it wasn’t completely her fault either! This wasn’t supposed to happen, right? Andrew had said that Miss de Manley’s life was not threatened at present! Were they not trying to just capture her? “But why was he trying to kill me so openly?” she wondered aloud. “Wasn’t Miss de Manley’s death supposed to look like an accident…?”
“I don’t know!” he roared, finally losing his tenuous control over anger. His knuckles balled into tight fists at his side as he ground out, “Maybe it is because they have given up hope of doing it inconspicuously. Maybe they hope that this would be considered to be a common mugging incident. I don’t know. All that I do know is that the danger has increased tenfold if they are ready to finish you off. Now, will you commence your packing, or do you wish to tarry some more?”
Rachel looked at him with distress. This was a stranger with unsuspected depths of passion and capable of great destruction; this was the soldier behind the gentleman. Would he never forgive her for her mistake? How will they continue to travel together if he acted so distant and…disappointed in her…all the time…
She resolutely shook off such thoughts and blinked back the tears starting to gather on her lashes. There would be time enough to go into them at leisure. For now, she was sensible enough not to question him further, and started gathering up her meager belongings without a word. The sight of her silent consent calmed him down somewhat and drawing a sharp breath, he spun away on his heel to buy some food from the landlady and to pay for the rooms.
He never got to hear the whispered “I am so sorry” that was left to float disconsolately in the room behind him.
They were out of the boarding-house within twenty minutes, alone with each other in a stagecoach hired up till the neighboring town Portslade prior to starting their long trek in the wilderness. And before anything could be achieved, the mammoth in the coach had to be addressed and laid to rest; otherwise it was going to be one long journey.
Xxxxx
The quiet between them persisted for an intolerably long period, both wrapped up in their own misery. Rachel had tried many times to apologize properly for her impetuosity, but each time she would lose courage at the sight of the unyielding profile of the man beside her, and shut her mouth again. Finally it was Andrew who ended the unbearable silence. He had sneaked a glance at Rachel when she was peering out at the nightscape, and her forlorn face broke through his barriers.
“I am sorry for my anger at you back there, Miss Warren,” he said gently. Her head whipped around and the mixed look of penitence and joy reflected in her expressive eyes smote him for his hard-heartedness. It also reminded him of the ungentlemanly way he had behaved in her room, and covered him with shame. Devil take it, this was a delicately nurtured young lady unrelated to him, and he had behaved thus…it was disgraceful. Taking her hand gingerly in his and stroking her fingers in a soothing motion, he continued to speak his mind.
“I have no excuse for my unpardonable actions and words. Though you did commit a mistake that could easily have been fatal, the disaster was averted; and that is what ultimately matters. I can simply plead as an excuse the severe suspense I had been under, and my own feelings of inadequacy as I saw him aiming at you, to ask for your forgiveness…”
“You show more generosity than I deserve, sir,” Rachel interposed. “Both of us know that the mistake was mine; I had ample knowledge about the real threat to my life, and chose to over-rule security out of mere peevishness and boredom. It was my great good luck that I changed my mind in time, but I can’t let you blame yourself for your anger towards me. What did you do or say that I did not earn with my foolhardiness?”
Andrew was staring at her by now, his features a swirl of emotions she did not feel capable of deciphering. Rachel almost faltered in her speech, but continued with it nevertheless. “I believe I must th…thank you Sir, for taking such good care of me,” she smiled apologetically. “Once again, you have rescued me from certain death. I wonder how I would have fared without your presence.”
Andrew’s mouth twisted into a bitter smile and his next words showed his self-disgust. “Without me and mine, madam, you would not have been involved in any kind of unpleasantness at all.”
“Yes indeed,” Rachel threw back spiritedly, though with a blush mantling her cheeks, “none except for the trifling case of Lord Edgerton and the possibility of a jobless future. My stars do not seem to be particularly good right now in any case.”
Sudden warmth coursed in her veins as she realized that her hand was still captive between his long fingers. Before she could lose her courage, she blurted out, “I can just thank God for a companion like you at this phase of my life. I don’t think I could have survived long on my own.”
Andrew’s jaw clenched at the mention of Lord Edgerton. He had almost forgotten the mental turmoil which she had been going through at the time of her capture. That sorry excuse for a man! How could he impose on someone like her? He is lucky that I am not around him right now. If I ever got my hands around his throat …
But of course, he did not mention any of this to her. He only released her hand and replied stiffly to her last sentence, “I believe that you would have managed perfectly under any circumstance, Miss Warren. You are one of the natural survivors in our world. If nothing else, then your goodness must shield you from dire situations.”
By now the ice between them was broken effectively. Each forgave the other unreservedly, and even themselves to some extent. The talk eased up and went on to planning the next leg of their journey. And the coach clattered on into the dark unknown.
Xxxxx
The moment they stepped down from the carriage and it had lumbered away, Andrew propped Rachel into the shrubbery beside the road to hide from probing eyes. They chose to come to Portslade first to further confuse the trail for any spies, and now the hardest part was about to commence. Among other things, Andrew had acquired some maps detailing the terrain they will be traversing, and they were going to prove some of their most valuable possessions now. After charting out the direction required for their walk by the faint light of the stars, he shouldered the single valise containing all their belongings, handed the food basket to Rachel and set off through the undergrowth into the field adjoining it with a sure step. In spite of its being three hours past midnight. On a new moon night.
Of course, mused Rachel as she unsuccessfully tried to walk without tripping over hidden roots and ruts in the ground. No one would expect us to travel at this time. It’s the perfect camouflage.
And thus began their run from detection across country. Later in life Rachel was unable to recall it in detail; it seemed to be a stretch of never-ending tiredness and monotonous action. They had to duck away every time they heard anyone approach, and this rather lessened the choice of routes on which they could travel. Both Andrew and Rachel’s new shoes got as worn as their unlucky predecessors.
By the end of the first two days, they had traversed a portion of the chalky South Downs into the next county. In the following days they climbed numerous hills, crossed countless muddy fields, followed more cart tracks than Rachel could keep track of, and hid in more ditches than she cared to remember. Those crumpled maps had become the Star of Bethlehem for them – constantly reminding them of, as well as directing them towards, their eventual haven.
The nights were not much better since their choices were necessarily limited to modest taverns and inns, where simply getting a bed to sleep, water to wash in and being able to depart without getting robbed were reasons enough to rejoice – the question of comfort did not arise. Indeed, the fourth night was a repeat of the one spent so long ago in Marsham-in-the-Vale, since the Grass and Cowbells Inn could only spare one room; the couple had to again stretch the bed-sheet across the lumpy bed and attempt to rest, the knowledge of the other person making for uneasy sleep on both sides.
They traveled in this furtive manner for seven days. Conversation may not as flowing as usual since most of their energies were conserved for the journey, but they still managed to talk about sundry topics during meals and while taking breaks from walking. Andrew kept Rachel amused for hours on end with amusing anecdotes from his military life, making it sound like an extremely interesting vocation with camaraderie and fellowship flowing freely among the soldiers and officers. His depictions of some of his friends’ actions and characteristics were particularly hilarious, and kept his companion in stitches. But she also noticed when he would pause and skirt over certain topics, especially about seeing action on the battlefield. His silences about such issues became as eloquent as his speeches after some time, showing Rachel the pain that his career occasionally gave him and which he attempted to valiantly hide from the world.
He told her a lot about the Misses Trevelyan, with whom she would be living in a few days. He described his old nurse Miss Maud Trevelyan and her two elder sisters at length, talking about how they had always welcomed him and his siblings over to their house over the years for short holidays even when Miss Maud had retired from her profession. He also talked enthusiastically for several minutes about the ancient village of Headley Down, describing some of its prominent landmarks and personages for Rachel’s benefit. Thus he managed to skillfully remove most of Rachel’s inhibitions about living in a new place with people who were virtually strangers to her, without once referring to her fears directly. Such delicacy could only endear him more to one clever enough to realize it.
There was another memorable conversation which occurred during a particularly rainy morning when they were stuck indoors in the private parlor of the Green Horse (courtesy a local cock fight which had drawn several visitors to the little hamlet, seriously threatening their attempts at anonymity) without any prospects of resuming their hike in the near future. Rachel taxed Andrew with having something on his mind other than their present predicament, having noticed his occasional melancholy for a long time. Finally she screwed up her courage to inquire into his distress, praying that she would not be told off for presuming too much on their forced intimacy.
“Mr. Fairfax, I have noticed since the past few days that you seem to be distracted at times; if it would not be too presumptuous in me to ask, what bothers you?”
“You are more astute than I expected, Miss Warren,” Andrew sighed. He looked away and stared for a minute into the rain beating relentlessly at the shuttered window across him, before resuming speech. “The de Manley brothers are not invincible from the hand of Law, you know. Even though now it is imperative to keep a low profile and hide Mira from them, once she comes in possession of her inheritance there can be no obstruction to setting the wheels of justice in motion. I may not be too knowledgeable about legal matters, but I know this – If a person hires someone to do his dirty work, it also renders him liable to exposure though these mercenaries. A Bow Street Runner might find out their complicity in this elaborate plan, and they can get their just deserts.
“But…” he gritted his teeth in frustration. “It is Mira. She would not hear about persecuting them. Despite all they have done to her, she cites her lifelong love for them as an obstruction to any thoughts of revenge as might arise in her heart. I … do not agree with her, but have no recourse till she changes her mind.”
Rachel pondered over what he said, and then whispered, “I can understand her sentiments, I suppose. They were her only family after her parents died, and her secluded upbringing must have made her emotionally dependent upon them as parental figures. I do not know if I can hand over any of my family members to the authorities either, even if they tried to harm me in some way. I could never hurt someone I loved like that, and I guess Miss de Manley feels even more strongly about the subject due to her solitary life in Dartmoor.”
He shook his head sadly. “I consider that sentiments and relationships are symbiotic, and each begets the other. If the men do not think of her as their sister, why should she treat them as brothers? But then, she had always been too soft for her own good.”
They did not debate this subject further, each allowing the other to hold on to his or her belief. Miss de Manley became a common subject soon, largely due to her present importance in their lives. Andrew’s face would light up while speaking about Mira, and it was evident that he thought the world of her. Hours would be spent recalling anecdotes which defined her daring and compassionate nature, and in describing their childhood adventures in the primitive moors surrounding Mira’s home in Snowdown. He forgot their present hardships on such occasions, lost in the memories of a more innocent time where punishment for mischief was all they had ever feared.
Rachel found herself falling more and more deeply in love with Andrew, regardless of all rationality which mercilessly pointed out his evident concern for his beautiful and intelligent cousin. She could only tell her poor heart to enjoy today without caring for what tomorrow might hold. Such familiarity with her love made even the hardships of this rigorous journey pleasant for her, and the approach of their destination was a source of thankfulness mixed liberally with regret.
--xx--xx--
AN: Long chapter, huh? It even spanned a long period of time. And thus ends the weekend, and Monday starts tomorrow. With classes. Fun...