Holding On

Por AmericanaCastle

8.4K 396 85

A lost girl named Allison believes she isn't capable of being love. She's depressed and alone. Until life tak... Más

Chapter 1: The Beginning
Chapter 2: The Party
Chapter 3: Help!
Chapter 4: Who Could That Be?
Chapter 5: The Next Day
Chapter 6: Reality
Chapter 7: Life or Death
Chapter 8: Awakening
Chapter 9: The Post
Chapter 10: Saturday Morning
Chapter 11: The Calm Feeling
Chapter 12: Derek
Chapter 13: The Cafè
Chapter 14: The Fight
Chapter 15: The Confession
Chapter 16: A Chance
Chapter 17: Our Moment
Chapter 18: Public Display of Affection
Chapter 19: First Day Back
Chapter 20: The Mother
Chapter 21: 3 AM
Chapter 22: Boot Camp
Chapter 23: My Return
Chapter 24: Drunken Mistakes
Chapter 25: Forgiveness
Chapter 26: The First Date
Chapter 27: The First Time
Chapter 28: Ryan Oh Ryan
Chapter 29: Dorm Room
Chapter 30: The Research Project
Chapter 31: Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Chapter 32: The Fraternity Party
Chapter 33: The Break Up
Chapter 34: A New Beginning
Chapter 35: Back to the Past
Chapter 36: Gabby's Return
Chapter 37: Change
Chapter 38: The Beach
Chapter 39: The day with Ryan.
Chapter 40: The Pain Returns
Chapter 41: Decisions
Chapter 42: Sacrifices
Chapter 43: The Phone Call
Chapter 44: Searching for Answers
Chapter 45: The Deal
Chapter 46: Open Relationships
Chapter 47: Boys
Chapter 48: Runaway Love
Chapter 49: Letting Go
Chapter 50: The Pill
Chapter 51: Abuse
Chapter 52: Recovery
Chapter 54: I Love Yous
Chapter 55: The Safe Feeling
Chapter 56: Secrets
Chapter 57: Happiness Never Lasts
Chapter 58: Running
Chapter 59: Keep Moving Forward
Chapter 60: Open Up Your Eyes

Chapter 53: Give Me Love

96 5 1
Por AmericanaCastle

Allison's P.O.V.

He turned around as he heard Derek and I walking towards him.

His eyes looked straight into mine. I couldn't move. He ran up to me and gave a tight hug. His hug was warm and made me feel safe.

"I missed you"

I didn't notice Derek walking away to unlock his door until I heard him call for us.

We entered his apartment and it looked exactly the same. We sat on the couches and sat in awkward silence.

"I'm hungry" I was trying to break up the silence while also trying to make them smile.  They've been looking at me with pity the entire time. Plus, I was extremely hungry all I've eaten was an apple and orange juice. 

Luckily they both laughed.

"You haven't changed at all" hearing Ryan's voice again calmed me. I completely forgot why I left him.

"Nope" I smiled making them laughed again before my stomach growled making us laugh harder.

"I'll order Pizza" Derek added

After the pizza arrived I realized Derek had ordered three boxes.

"Why did you order three large boxes of pizza?" I questioned him and I could tell Ryan was thinking the same thing.

"Because you would've eaten one box by yourself and we're two guys we eat a lot ourselves." We all laughed. I missed these guys.

They ended up eating their entire box of pizza and half of mine. I ate 4 sliced and was done.

"I can't breathe!" I said out of breathe that was to much food for me. They both laughed. I tried to but it made my stomach hurt.

They ended up ignoring the marks on my body. We watched a couple of movies which reminded me of the good old times. I caught Ryan staring at my bruises a couple of times but when he noticed saw him he gave me a small smile and looked back at the tv.

The two geniuses decided to put The Conjuring on. I like scary movies but I can't watch them alone and they know that. Since I was sitting on one couch alone I moved to the large couch they were sitting on.

When the girls heard the knocking near the wardrobe and the ghost jumpwd on top of the older sister I jumped and hid my face in someone's chest. I heard both of them laugh at my reaction.

"Shut up" I said with my face still hiding. When I finally looked up I realized Ryan was holding me. We made eye contact that was broken away from screams in the movie.

I saw Derek distancing himself after that.

Once the movie was over Ryan left to go home. I gave him a hug and he pulled me in tightly. He buried his head in my neck.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you" I felt my neck become slightly wet from his tears.

"Ryan, I left you. It's not your fault."

"But.."

"No, you couldn't have known. But you are here now and that's all I care about." I cut him off. I didn't want him to feel like it was his fault. It wasn't. I thought so low of myself and I let go the people who really did care about me. I honestly still don't think I deserve Ryan or Derek but one thing for sure is that I don't deserve Brian.

He lifted his head from my neck and held my check with his hands. We looked straight into each others eyes. His eyes were so warm and caring. I felt safe. I knew I was safe. I was so use to Brian's eyes that I felt weak looking into Ryan's eyes.

Ryan slowly leaned towards me placing his forehead on mine. We were both breathing heavier than before.  He separated our foreheads as his soft lips made contact with mine. I had completely forgotten how his kiss felt. They were so gentle and sweet and passionate.

The kiss wasn't long but it was enough for me to not want him to leave.

"I love you" He placed his forehead on mine once again.

"I have to go, it's getting late" He said softly before he gave me a kiss on my forehead.

I didn't want him to leave. I needed to be with him. He's the only one who hasn't physically hurt me. Yes, I know he cheated on me with that bitch Katie, but he was the only one who wasn't afraid to get close to me. I know Derek still has feelings for me, I can tell by the way he looks at me, but he's afraid. He's afraid of himself. Before I could think I grabbed Ryan's hand as he turned to walked to the door.

"Ryan.." he was shocked by my actions.

"Can I go with you?" His eyes opened wide for a quick second before a smile appeared on his face.

"Of course"

With that I walked to Derek's room to tell him good night. Sadness covered his face as I told him I was leaving with Ryan. I gave him a kiss on the cheek before I left to meet Ryan at the front door.

It was cold outside and I didn't have a jacket.  Ryan gave me his jacket, which smelled exactly like him might I add.

The drive to Ryan's house was mostly silent. He would make a few comments here and there that made me smile, besides that it was pretty much the radio.

As we drove through town I saw a few young couples. They seemed so happy and in love. I could tell by the way they looked at each other that they were in love.

I directed my attention away from them and to the radio.

Give me love like her,

'Cause lately I've been waking up alone.

Paint splatted tear drops on my shirt,

Told you I'd let them go.

And that I'll find my corner,

Maybe tonight I'll call ya,

After my blood turns into alcohol,

No I just wanna hold ya,

Give a little time to me, or burn this out,

We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around,

All I want is the taste that your lips allow,

My my, my my-y oh give me love,

My my, my my-y oh give me love,

My my, my my-y oh give me love,

My my, my my-y oh give me love,

My my, my my-y oh give me love

Give me love like never before,

'Cause lately I've been craving more.

And it's been a while but i still feel the same,

Maybe I should let you go

You know I'll find my corner,

And that tonight I'll call ya,

After my blood, is drowning in alcohol,

No I just wanna hold ya,

Give a little time to me, or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around,

All I want is the taste that your lips allow,

My my, my my-y, oh give me love

Give a little time to me, or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek, to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow.my my, my my-y, oh give me love

my my, my my-y oh give me love,

my my, my my-y oh give me love,

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Ah! )

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Love me, , love me)

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Give me love)

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Give me love)

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Give me love, love me)

M-my my, m-my my, m-my my,

give me love, lover (Give me love)

my my, my my, oh give me love

my my, my my oh give me love,

my my, my my oh give me love,

my my, my my oh give me love,

It seems that every time something happens to me, there's always a song out there that's meant for me to hear.

We pull into a familiar building. The condo.

"You still live here?" I'm actually kind of surprised I thought he would've moved or something.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" confusion clear in his voice.

"I don't know" I shrugged my shoulders. I honestly thought he would've left because of the memories left from me. But, could that be why he stayed?

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