C H A P T E R
51
- H a m s a -
"How are we going to stop your father?" I ask Sebastian as we drive closer to the markets.
The streets are now deserted; scary and dark, and the sirens have stopped. But in the distance, I still hear screams and gunshot. And every time I wince.
Sebastian doesn't answer me for a long moment and I think he didn't hear me, but then he says, "I really don't know."
I bite my lower lip. "Talking to him won't work will it?"
"I doubt that. He is blinded by his greed," Sebastian says, rage coiling off his words. "He will stop at nothing to get what he wants."
I can't argue with that.
"You knew about my mother, didn't you?" He asks.
I blink furiously at the back of his head. I know the two versions about his mother's death, which one is he referring to?
"I--"
"Alex told me my father threatened you," he says. "I understand why you did what you did. Your family was in danger."
You were in danger too. I wanted to protect you.
"I thought I had no choice."
"And you didn't. My father is a monster. He killed my mother and made me believe that Muslims did. He always said Muslims deserved what they got after taking her from us. And I believed him, I hated all of you, it didn't help with the pain of losing her, but it helped that I knew who to blame..."
His fingers tighten around the steers.
"I am so sorry," I say, fighting the urge to reach out and soothe the tense muscles of his shoulder.
"It is not your doing."
"It is not yours either."
He glances at me over his shoulder, and I get a quick glimpse of his bloodshot, teary eyes.
My heart aches for him. I get to hate General Walsh all I want, but he's Sebastian father, and no matter how much he hates him, some part still misses his dad.
"Are you scared?" I ask him.
"I'm terrified." And he sounds like a little, lost boy.
"We are going to stop him, no matter what it takes," I tell him, feeling anger boil up in my chest.
He nods, avoiding my gaze.
He starts to slow down, as the courtyard comes to view in the distance. The place where we first met, I held down and being whipped, him barefoot and to the rescue.
Oh, how things changed since then.
The motorcycle comes to a stop and Sebastian hops off.
"Come on," he says. "We are going the rest of the way through the woods. We'll climb over the fence to avoid any guards."
I start to get off the bike when sound explodes above us. The ground shakes slightly and I stumble, losing my balance.
My eyes dart around, and I see fire and smoke plume filling the night sky ahead.
"Is that the factory?" Sebastian exclaims.
Before I can so much as nod my head, another bomb goes off, and then a third, both louder.
My head whips in their direction and I see more flames, this time from deep inside my neighbourhood.
Then I realise those were the last three bombs marked on the map.
One of these bombs was on Auntie Samiya's street.
I stare aghast at the ascending black clouds of smoke, obscuring the moon.
"Sebastian! We have to go back," I shout, pivoting to face him.
His eyes widen. "Are you nutter? Why would we do that?"
"That explosion was close to Auntie Samiya's house."
"They should all be heading for the mountains now with Zayn," Sebastian presses on. "And we should be as far away from that explosion as possible."
"No, I have to make sure they all got out of the neighbourhood safely," I press on.
"Hamsa, even if they didn't there's nothing we--"
But I don't wait for him to finish, he doesn't understand.
This is Zayn, this is Fatima, this is Auntie Samiya, I can't go on another step without making sure my family is safe. If he isn't going to help me, I'll get there on my own.
I climb onto the bike, wrapping my fingers around the handle bar while planting my bare feet firmly on the ground. This is the first operating motorcycle I've seen in my life, but how hard could it be to drive.
"What are you doing?" Sebastian exclaims, jumping in front of the bike.
"Driving myself there," I say through gritted teeth.
"You'll get yourself killed."
"I. Don't. Care."
"Hamsa!"
"Sebastian, I can't just go on not knowing if they made it out or not. The uncertainty will kill me."
"No, driving into an explosive zone will kill you!"
"Get out of my way Sebastian," I say, flipping the switch on to start the engine. "Get out of my way or I'll drive you over, I swear."
His gaze bores into mine, pleading, but I don't budge, I stare back, determined.
Finally, he groans.
"Move!" I say.
"You move, so I can get on the bike with you," he counters, glaring at me.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I slide back, letting go of the handle bar.
Without another word, Sebastian gets on the bike and turns, scorching along the street back to the neighborhood.
More dust and smoke burst into the burning sky and apprehension grabs hold of me.
When we reach Auntie's street, horror strikes me full force and a gasp catches in my throat.
"Oh my God," Sebastian breaths.
Everywhere I look I see death. Kids, women, men and even English soldiers. The explosion didn't differentiate between any of them.
We drive around bodies, sprawled on the ground, scorched and torn apart. Lying around in all these horrible positions.
I try to avert my gaze, but I can't tear my eyes from any of it. Like a horrible car crash, it's all I can see.
I'm shaking, the smoke burns my eyes and the heat in unbearable, but all I feel is cold.
"Move faster," I choke out.
And he does, only slowing down in front of Auntie Samiya's house. I jump off before he stops, and race towards the gate, praying... hoping, as dread tears me up.
The bike rattles as it hit the ground and Sebastian shoots after me.
The metal gate is deformed and I kick it away, going into the garden where I stop crippled motionless by terror.
My gaze flies, taking it all in with dizzying speed.
Bodies--bloodied and broken stares back at me... their faces those of strangers, painted with ashes and blood.
Fayyad, Auntie Samiya, Uncle Nabil. All are lying lifeless.
Bile climbs up my throat and spasms rack me as I dry heave.
My knees give out and I stagger, reach to anything for support then snatch my hand away with a pained hiss, gazing in horror at the body I just touched.
Fatima, her belly showing through her torn abaya-- her baby inside dead too.
No!
I clamp both hands over my mouth, stifling a pained scream, fingers digging into my hot cheeks. But the screams come out anyway.
My eyes sting and I realise I'm weeping. Tears fall over my hands.
Sick sorrow seizes me, suffocating me.
The agony endless as air struggles up my throat.
I divert my eyes, too sick to look at Fatima's body that's lying in an unnatural pose.
My gaze lands on another familiar face, body crushed under a pile of rocks from the wall behind him.
Zayn.
No, no, no! Oh God no!
This is all my fault. I should have insisted he came with us to the woods, that Auntie Samiya and the others came there too. I should have forced him to listen to me. I should have taken Uncle Yusuf's warning seriously and left the province this morning. I shouldn't have kept any secrets.
I rotate in a small circle, feel Sebastian's hand on my shoulder as heavy sobs break past my lips.
What have I done?
I hear a low moan and stand stunned.
I lower my hands from my face and inch closer to Zayn's body, fighting against false hope.
Then I see a finger move and his eyes peel open.
"He...l...p me..." he croaks.
"Oh my God, he's alive!" Sebastian exclaims, dashing towards Zayn. "He's alive!"
I stare blankly, planted to the ground, as Sebastian lifted rock after another from Zayn's body.
"Hamsa!"
Sebastian's shout jerks me from my horrified trance.
"I need your help!"
I push myself to his side, blinking away tears. Together we shove away the last rock that was pressing on Zayn's chest.
I collapse down beside him, scared to touch him anywhere.
His shirt is in tatters and underneath I see his chest bruised and bloody, a bone sticking out in a weird way.
"We have to get him to a hospital," I say to Sebastian, my voice growing hysterical.
Sebastian presses a hand to his mouth and heaves a labored breath.
"We can't drive him on the bike, he won't make it."
"Please, we have to figure something out!" I sob.
He stands up, raking his fingers through his hair and strides away.
"Zayn, please hang on," I say, my vision growing blurry.
"Ze..ina... Ha..ni..." He stops to fight for his breath. "With... y..ou?"
"Yes, yes, they're with Yahiya, they're safe."
I swallow past the horrible taste in my mouth, Zeina and Hani are now orphans.
"Ta...ke... ca...re.. of... th..em..." he coughs and blood comes up. I know with a sick tightening of my gut that he is not going to last.
"No! You're going to be okay and you'll take care of them yourself!"
"Ha...m..sa... am... so..rry..."
"Shhhh," I say, shaking my head. "don't talk."
"I di....dn't... me...an... to... hu...rt... y...ou."
"You're going to be okay, shhh, you're going to be okay." My tears tumble over his chest, mixing with the blood.
His coughs grow violent and more bloody. His eyes roll to the back of his head.
"Sebastian!" I cry. "He's dying!"