"You departed from my sight
and entered my thoughts,
travelled from my eyes
to my heart."
- Al-Abbas Ibn Al-Ahnaf
I faced the darkness. A long stretch of darkness. But I sensed the illuminating light radiating from behind me- the lamp post. It was throwing an eerie glow on the dark sand around me. And I knew if I touched the sand, it would be as cold as death. I closed my eyes stubbornly as my legs unwillingly tried to drag my body around-
Something warm touched my face and my eyes flew wide open to morning sun light. Gasping, I jerked into a sitting position and squinted my eyes against the sun.
"Woah, relax. It's just me," a voice I knew very well by now said- Wes. I squinted against the bright light to look at his worried face.
"Well good morning to you too," he said in amusement. His lips twitched around the edges. He moved to sit at the edge of my bed. I felt my bed springs compress where he sat as I relaxed my breathing.
"What're you doing here?" I asked, adrenaline still coursing through me from being startled.
"My surprise, remember?" he smiled, bringing his hands up. Just then I noticed that in one hand he held a rose and in the other, coffee.
"How did you get in?" I asked. My heart squeezed at the sight but my breathing was still uneven.
"You left your balcony door open," he smirked, seeming impressed by his own actions.
"Oh, thank you," I rubbed a hand to the side of my face.
"What's wrong, Kitty?" the smile on his face dropped, as did with the coffee and rose on my bedside.
I sighed, "Nothing. You just scared me, I guess." I closed my eyes, slipping back into my bed and pulling my covers along with me.
"Like I'm going to settle for that answer," he rolled his eyes and threw my covers back and slipped in. The cold morning air from the open balcony doors hit my bare legs, making me shiver, before Wes quickly threw the covers back over us.
"You just wanted an excuse to get into my bed," I pointed out.
"That just happens to be a bonus," he smiled at me angelically, throwing an arm around my shoulders as I snuggled into his chest. His sweet scent immediately enveloped me. And his warmth. How was he always so damn warm?!
We stayed like that for a few minutes in silence, just enjoying the moment.
"I had a nightmare, that's all," I felt stupid even as I said it.
"About your mom?" he asked softly, gently brushing my hair back from my face.
"It's always that one same dream," I explained.
"What is it?" he asked curiously, tracing a finger along my jawline. It felt surprisingly nice and comforting.
I pursed my lips. No one knew about this dream. Not even Eli.
"I just climbed your trellis to get up here which, let me tell you, wasn't as easy as it looked," Wes said. "Can I at least get some reward?"
I tilted my head back and kissed his cheek, causing the corners of his mouth to twitch into a smile.
"For once in my life, I didn't mean a physical reward," he laughed.
"I feel like I don't know you anymore," I said in mock horror.
"Sometimes there are more important things," he responded, pulling me tighter against him.
My hand reached a hand to his chin and gently slid his face down to mine to kiss his lips. He kissed me back softly, moving his lips gently against mine for a few seconds, before pulling my hand away and breaking the kiss.
"Kitty, you're killing me here," Wes replied. "I'm cursing myself by talking and not just taking you here and now."
"Does it go against your nature not to take advantage of a girl?" I smiled coyly at him, sliding a hand down his chest. But I was dancing with joy on the inside, knowing I had an effect on him.
"You're not making it any easier," he growled at me, taking my hand in his and interlacing our fingers together.
I sighed, ducking my head down against his chest.
"It's a stupid dream, really," I muttered.
"You know I won't laugh."
"That's not what I'm worried about."
"Then?"
"It's just a dream I've had ever since mom, you know, died. I wasn't allowed to visit her anymore in the last few months before she died. Dad said it wasn't healthy that I spent all that time in the hospital and all my grades were badly slipping. The first time I had this dream was the night after I had a bad row with dad about why I couldn't visit mom. I thought it was her way of communicating with me. But ever since she actually died months later, I've had the dream almost every night." I explained. I still had my head buried in his chest, not wanting to see his face.
"So that's why you looked grateful that I woke you up at camp on that first night there," he replied musingly.
I titled my head back in confusion. He had a thoughtful look on his face, as if he was weighing something. Ahh, I remembered that night now. That bang that had woken me up was Wes hitting a lamp post- ironically enough.
"What's in the dream?" he asked.
"You sound like a psychologist," I laughed. He looked at me sternly and so I continued. "Always the same setting. It's at a beach, but it's dark and the texture of everything is wrong. The water is like blood, the sand grimy. You can't really see much. But there's a lamp post behind me shedding light. I always have my back to it, but there's always something that makes me want to turn and I know I shouldn't but I know I will."
Finally getting this all out felt like a heavy weight was suddenly lifted off me.
"So it's always the exact same dream?"
"Well that first time I had the dream I remember I was next to the lamp post rather than in front of it. But I was young, I just remember there being a lot of light everywhere blinding me," I explained.
"So when do you not have the dream?" Wes asked. He wasn't even reacting, just curiously asking questions. I was afraid that if I told someone, they'd be worried, ship me off to a psychiatric ward or something. But Wes only made me feel like talking more.
"I'd say when I go to sleep really really tired or-," I cut myself off, blushing.
"Or what?" Wes asked, pulling his eyebrows together in thought.
"Well, I didn't have the dream when I slept with you that night at the beach and at camp," I muttered, thinking of the last night at camp. How it felt to wake up in Wes' arms.
"Is this your way of inviting me to sleep with you every night?" Wes smirked down at me. "Because I'm not complaining."
I shoved him playfully, "Don't get your hopes up."
"How can I say no when my Kitty clearly needs me every night," he said in mock innocence, wiggling his eyebrows.
"How do you manage to make everything sound dirty?" I laughed at him.
"Skill, baby," he grinned at me. He reached behind him for the takeaway coffee cup. "Now drink your coffee before it gets cold."
I sat up on my elbows, leaning against my headboard as I took the coffee in my hand.
"I'm impressed you even managed to carry that up here," I said in amusement.
"I had to put the rose in my mouth and the coffee in my bag," he explained. "I think your neighbour was going to call security."
I chuckled at him, taking a sip. Though, it seemed the coffee cup had taken its toll and the lid sprang up onto my face as some coffee spilled onto my face, dripping down the side of it and onto my collarbone.
Wes laughed as I glared at him suspiciously, "My bad, I swear I didn't do that on purpose."
I raised an eyebrow at him as I wiped the coffee off my face. He quickly caught my hand and leaned in.
"Now that would be a waste," he whispered, leaning closer and caressing the coffee that had dribbled on my chin with his thumb. He pulled his hand back, licking his thumb.
"Are you trying to take advantage of my caffeine-deprived vulnerable self?" I whispered as he leaned in to kiss the coffee that had dripped from my chin onto my neck.
"I think you're actually scarier in that state," he murmured, moving one hand to my hips and the other on the mattress next to my head and leaning in to nuzzle my neck. I blushed as his hand made contact with my hips.
"Save that for the date," I commented, my breathing already uneven.
He looked surprised for a second before he smiled that wide genuine smile that I claimed as mine. The smile that lightened my heart at its perfection and yet even more so knowing it was crooked and unsymmetrical at the same time.
"Really?" he smiled.
"Really," I replied, my smile as big as his. He kissed my nose in response.
"Does that mean I can now be your boyfriend?" he asked. His expression with that disheveled hair was so adorably cute.
"Well considering you've already let yourself into my house and my bed without getting security called on you, I think I'd say you already are," I laughed at him. And I had no regrets. Wes had long ago earned any right as being an important person in my life, let alone my boyfriend.
He tightly hugged me to him and I laughed in response. Only Wes knew how to be both cute and sexy at the same time.
"But you know there's always plenty of this to go around any day," he said, returning his lips against the skin of my neck as he nuzzled the side of my neck again.
"It seems you have unlimited resources," I giggled.
He raised his head and winked at me, "You bet." Just to prove his point, he kissed me again.
I kissed him back for a few moments before pulling back, "Yes, but there's school today." I said breathlessly. I had to stop him before my will slipped further. Or became non-existent.
Wes groaned, ducking his head against the covers on the side of my neck.
I chuckled and kissed his cheek, "Alright, come on, let's get going."
"And now as my girlfriend you're going to have to face all the attention you're going to get," Wes laughed, referring to the conversation we had yesterday. I felt like rolling my eyes, but the tugging at my heart at the sound of 'girlfriend' from his lips was exhilarating. "Because let's face it, everyone's interested in my life."
At this I did roll my eyes at him, "Please stop, your modesty is getting too much."
He chortled, pulling me with him as we both stumbled off my bed. I quickly slipped into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and combing my badly knotted hair. Sighing, I released the comb from its torture, twisting my thick waves around my fingers. After rushing into my wardrobe and changing into jeans and a chemise jumper, I walked back into my room, seeing Wes standing in front of my little library.
My room was divided into two sections, or rather three if you included the walk in wardrobe and bathroom. One was my bed and dresser and the other section was a little library I had designed for myself. The opposite wall of the balcony was lined with books on a vintage bookshelf that reached from the ground to the ceiling and spanned the whole width of the wall. There was a ladder attached to a rail to reach the top most books. On the wall to the right was a large study table. On the opposite wall was a comfy soft armchair next to a tall lamp. This was the part of the room I spent most of my time in.
At my footsteps Wes' head turned sideways to look at me. He had a soft smile plastered to his face as he looked at me, "You've got quite the collection here."
"I love collecting books," I came up next to him, holding his left hand in mine and bringing it to my lips.
"I can tell," he smiled in amusement at me. "All of Jane Austen's books, I'm pretty sure that's all the Shakespeare plays too. And wow, even Dante's collection!"
"I'm surprised you even know Dante," I grinned at him.
He ruffled my hair, "You're not a nice kitty. I actually read books too, you know."
"I didn't know you did much besides partying until very recently to be honest."
"Is that why you were so annoyed?" And the smirking came back.
"What? No!" I said, a little defensively.
"Yes!" he laughed. "You were annoyed because you thought all I did was party and yet still beat you."
I huffed in indignation, turning towards the door, "Come on, oh humble Dalai Lama. We're going to be late."
He ruffled my hair and chortled all the way to the car.
Sigmund Freud believed that your conscious mind is a guard standing at the gateway to your inner self- the ego. When you're sleeping, your defenses are lowered and some of your true inner self is revealed through dreams.
You finally got a chapter on the dream Kitty's been having! Any interpretations on her enigmatic dream? ;)