After watching a light hearted comedy, they all stepped out for some stargazing. The sky was bright an clear, the air crisp and cool, and the only sounds were the mild breeze through the leaves of the trees and the song of crickets. Kathy stretched out on the patio next to Kelly while the boys went downhill to check on the lake.
It felt so good to be surrounded by people who wanted to make her laugh and obviously cared about her. People who didn't judge her and throw her reproachful looks as if the entire Donnie incident was somehow her fault. For a few blissful hours, she even forgot it happened, and she was sure she would forget again.
"You're not mad at me, are you?" Kelly asked all of a sudden.
"Of course not," Kathy answered, her eyes fixed on the stars above. "This is just what I needed. A new place and distractions. I actually feel much better."
Kelly let out a deep breath. "I'm so happy to hear that. That was the whole point."
"Was it?" Kathy twisted to face Kelly, propping her chin in her hand and resting her weight on her elbow. "You and Joey are sharing the room."
Even with the weak light coming from the living room through the glass wall, Kathy could see her friend blush.
"He was a bit too obvious with that one."
"Is that why you're here?"
"Oh, Kay, don't hate me," Kelly said desperately. "And please don't judge. I know it's early, that we've barely been dating a month and a half, but it feels right, you know?"
"I'm not judging. I kept him waiting for three years and look how that turned out," Kathy mumbled.
"Why would you keep him waiting for... Wait, do you mean... You and Donnie never...?" Kelly's mouth fell open as Kathy nodded. "Really? Wow! I was sure I was the last virgin in school."
Kathy let out a bitter laugh. "Looks like I'll be the last virgin in school now. I think it's part of the reason Donnie and I ended the way we did. And why he cheated on me with Darla Hansen."
Kelly's jaw dropped again and she shook her head as if that would attenuate the shock. "Donnie cheated on you? That asshole! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it was hard for me to handle and I didn't want you encouraging me to break up with him. Because, at that time, I stupidly believed we could bounce back. Because..." Her voice cracked. "Because I've been such an idiot."
Kelly moved closer and wrapped her arms around Kathy. "You're brave and strong and not an idiot. You guys were together since forever. It's hard to break off something like that. But you did it. The hard part is over. Don't let Donnie ruin the rest of your life."
Kathy doubted that. The hard part began now, when she was alone and had to pull herself together. But after today, even if her parents weren't on her side, she realized she did have people in her corner.
So she nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I won't. But back to you and Joey..."
Kelly returned to her spot on the patio floor and gazed at the sky. "I know it's soon, but I really love him. Yes, I know it's soon for that big word, too, but I'm sure it's real."
Kathy didn't think it was too soon. Some people just knew. Joey and Kelly seemed like that kind of couple. "Did you tell him?"
"Yes. He said the words, too. First, actually." Kelly paused for a moment. "Two weeks into the relationship. He was really afraid he'd freak me out, but he said he couldn't keep it in anymore."
"Wow, you're both just as bad off. Or good off, actually," Kathy said and Kelly laughed. "Have you talked about this, too?"
Kelly bit her lip and returned her gaze to the stars. "Yes, we did. And ever since I told him it would be my first time, he's been really stressed out. It's that more than anything that makes me want to do it."
Kathy frowned. "What do you mean?"
"He's afraid he's rushing me, pressuring me. He wants to take it slow, make sure I'm comfortable."
Okay, Joey was either a kickass actor who knew exactly what to say to bed a girl, or he was the sweetest guy Kay had ever met. "That's sweet."
Kelly let out a laugh. "It's annoying, really. Because he doesn't have to get like that. I'll do it when I'm ready and with whoever I deem worthy. But it's him, I know it is. Because whatever happens, I know I won't regret it."
Kathy bit her lower lip. "How come?" It was exactly the fear of regret that had her pushing Donnie back. It was a foreign concept for her to be so sure about something like this.
"Because..." Kelly took in a deep breath. "It's weird, but I feel incomplete without him. I mean I still function fine, but I'm not at my best. And we kiss so much because I can't breathe without it. It's the opposite of drowning. When we surface for air, I feel like I'm not getting enough, that I was better off when we were kissing. We're not suffocating each other, we suffocate when we're not together."
Kelly fell silent and Kathy focused on the sky again, tears pouring down her cheeks. Because she was happy for Kelly and jealous at her at the same time. A mere week ago, she would've scoffed at this and thought Kelly was just overdramatic and love didn't work like that.
After all, she knew all about love and she'd never felt anything remotely similar about Donnie, not even when they were in the early stages of the relationship.
But now, seeing as everything she thought she knew about love crumbled and her heart lay shattered, she wondered if there wasn't more to love than that.
She and Danny had been sweet and innocent, not passionate and insatiable. It was one of the main reasons Kathy wanted to wait before they had sex. Now that she thought about it, she had had entire list of reasons she didn't want to sleep with Donnie yet.
Hearing Kelly say those words with so much conviction had Kathy admitting to herself that, as dramatic as it sounded, deep in her heart, she'd always wanted more. More respect, more passion... More love. More of what she thought love was. More of what Donnie never gave her.
What if after six years, she actually had no idea what love was?
"You okay?" Kelly asked, and her voice was a little wet, too.
"Just remember that this house has very thin walls. Give me a sign if you decide to go with it, and I'll get Kyle out of here," Kathy said. "And know that I don't judge you and that you and Joey are my favorite couple ever."
Kelly laughed, but before she could retort, they heard the boys coming from the lake, so she scrambled to her feet and rushed at Joey to get her fill of air. Kathy stood too, and walked to Kyle.
"Hey," he said, rubbing her back. "Had the big talk?"
Kathy hugged herself and leaned against him for warmth. It was amazing how hot he could be. Literally. Okay, figuratively too. "We had a big talk, not the big talk." She watched Kelly and Joey grinning at each other. "Tonight was about her. About them, actually."
"Yeah, they give me diabetes," Kyle said fondly. He turned to her and wiped the tears off her cheeks with his thumb. The touch was soft and nonintrusive, but it still sent electric bolts down her spine. "You should get some rest."
Kathy nodded and pulled away from him. Exhaustion had her feelings strangely heavy. Or maybe it was her conversation with Kelly. Once in her room, Kathy dropped on the bed, but her mind refused to go in stand by mode. She kept thinking about these feelings she'd never experienced, how close she'd been to settling for less.
In her entire relationship, she'd never felt something as powerful as what Kelly described. It had been good, happy, peaceful and enough at that moment. But now? Now her heart ached because she missed having someone. A significant other. The old Donnie, the one she could share anything with, the one who had briefly appeared at her house and lent her his phone.
The Donnie she could tell all this to and experience this with. A Donnie who wouldn't pressure her to have sex but make her want it so much, she'd beg him for it.
But there was no such Donnie. A ghost held her prisoner and she felt she was going insane. Even if it had been over a week since he disappeared, she wasn't doing any better. Getting over him and what he'd done to her was going to be harder than she'd thought.
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Happy update day.
Yes, yes, I know, what's with the short chapters? Don't worry, they start getting longer from here on out.
So, I had a lot of fun writing this. Did you get a better idea about the type of relationship Joey and Kelly have? Also, what do you think about Kyle and Kathy at this point? Do you sense anything different about them?
Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to vote, comment, share;)