New Romantics. [1]

By judesphoenix

30.2K 2K 1.8K

Four friends, Sage (River Phoenix), Jake (Corey Haim), Kara (Carlson Young), and Harley (Crystal Reed) tear i... More

00. Cast + Social Media
0.5. Television Show Intro/Theme.
01. Lord of Love.
02. the Chronicles of Sage's Golden Locks.
03. Hot Diggity Dog.
04. AceLovesMetallica.
05. Blocked and Reported.
06. Sage + Forgetting to Wear His Lucky Necklace = Police.
06.5 Updated Instagram Bios.
07. Wtf Is Kake?
08. Guys With 'M' Names Suck.
09. Sensei Miles.
10. the Invader of the Sleepover.
11. Power to the People.
13. Rip Sage.
14. Jack and Rose Part Two???
15. Chuck E. Cheese.
16. Accent? What Accent? Also Frick You, Suzy Hedge.
16.5. Character Aesthetics.
17. Red Hair Don't Care.
18. the Attack on Jake.
19. It's Cool Now, Guys.
20. Seriously Though...Boys With 'M' Names.
21. Howdy, Girlie!
22. Gmaw and Her Triangle.
23. the Bullies Were Right; He's Homeless Now.
24. It's Not Because of the Star Wars Sleeping Bag, Guys.
25. Sage Is A Classy Chap.
26. Kara AKA Minkus?
27. Nancy Holland the Savage.
28. the Fall of a Soldier.
29. Definitely On Her Radar.
30. The Man, the Myth, the Witty.
31. Harley Is Just Confused.
32. France, My Pants.
33. Minnesota or France?
34. The Clipboard Incident.
35. Lord of Love or Lord of Betrayal.
36. Breaking News: Jake Is Not Invited To Anything Anymore.
37. P U Double S Y Till I Die.
38. The End...For Now!
SEQUEL!

12. Glasses and Bucket Hats.

721 46 60
By judesphoenix

lord of love: hARLEY STOP PLAYING THAT PIPE IT UP SONG IM TRYING TO SLEEP

harley holland: Can you get a concussion from dabbing

lord of love: HARLEY
lord of love: idk probs

harley holland: okay because I think I have one
harley holland: FINE GRUMPY PANTS

kara: guys i'm fucking crying.
kara: i can't stop laughing and idk why this is so funny to me but
kara: i was out earlier tonight walking to the dollar store and i saw harley and jake doing whatever the hell siblings do at night ?? and jake saw me and ran over to me and long story short he has glasses. 😹
kara: i talked to him for a second and then ran away... im sobbing. i just didn't expect it.

lord of love: wHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME LIKE IM NOT HERE

Sage: LMAO SAVAGE

kara: dude i'm so dead.
kara: look
kara:


Sage: 1) Kara why does your camera suck 2) Jake why are you wearing a suit and a hat? 3) how did Jake not notice the flash photography?

lord of love: fuck yall I look gr8
lord of love: my family went out to eat at Golden Corral and I wanted to look nice for once in my life. and I noticed the flash, trust me. 😘 I love my paparazzi <3

kara: what? my phone sucks. thought you knew.

harley holland: Kara what the fuck he's had glasses since he was eight

kara: seriously?

harley holland: He never wears them around you because he's insecure (his eyesight is awful because he never wears em)
harley holland: That's right, I keep up with his eye doctor.

lord of love: at least I've invested in some contact lenses 🙄

harley holland: You don't even wear those half the time!
harley holland:

harley holland: that's him with our cousins

lord of love: STOOOOOP

Sage: BUCKET HAT
Sage: ADD SOME 💯 EMOJIS TO THAT AND YOULL LOOK LIKE THE KIDS AT OUR SCHOOL

kara: cutie!!

lord of love: now wait a minute

kara: adorable 😘

lord of love: wAIT A MINUTE I AM WIDE AWAKE NOW

Sage: woah make your move Kara

kara: i already have.

harley holland: yeah we know. We get an earful from Jake everyday about how you kissed his cheek
harley holland: so scandalous

Sage: Damn L

kara: not surprised.

lord of love: KARA!!!!! CLOSE 👏 YOUR 👏 BLINDS 👏 WHEN 👏 YOU 👏 CHANGE 👏
lord of love: I LOOKED OVER AND SAW THINGS AND IM JUST TRYING TO BE A GENTLEMAN HERE

kara: lol sorry 😳

harley holland: Kara is hot don't play yourself lord of love

lord of love: you right you right

Sage: this is escalating lowkey

lord of love: dab daddy

Sage: yeah

lord of love: do you think Kara is hot
lord of love: I mean Harley can say that she's my sister and that's just a thing girls do I think
lord of love: not that guys don't do it because you're hot Sage but you get my point
lord of love: now answer my question

Sage: I don't like the phrase hot. Shes attractive, yes. But if you couldn't tell, I'm the captain of this ship so why would I cockblock it 🤔

harley holland: YOOOOO

lord of love: good point

kara: jake what the fuck
kara: i really don't understand your antics.

lord of love: that makes two of us
lord of love: I'm going to bed now. school has me dead 🔥

Sage: same though I'm triggered

harley holland: I CANNOT sleep

Sage: why not?

harley holland: I watched The Boy with Jake and I know that little boy is at the end of my bed trying to touch my feet

lord of love: close ur eyes and sleep bitch

harley holland: Wow I'm Cured! You Inspire Me Everyday Brother Bear

•••

FUCK CHARLIE SHEEN

also shoutout to my sis -alyciacarey who video chatted me on snapchat an hour ago and gave me this idea for the chap. stay tuned for Sage's midlife crisis.

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