Time.
It ticked away incessantly and without pause. It reminded me of morality and deadlines. It reminded me that my time as Queen could soon come to a close. I rode on a knife's edge with my kingdom in the balance. It was a hard thing holding that balance. Too much brutality and I lost it all, too little and it would be taken from me. Revan was threatening that balance, making me appear weak and incapable of protecting my own.
I bared my teeth. Revan was a nuisance, a thorn in my side that had moved to being a pain in my ass with the killing of my mongrel. I cared little about the blood purity that he was peddling. If they did their job they were rewarded, if they didn't they were thrown away or killed. It didn't matter if they were mongrel or blueblood. If they fucked my business over, they got dealt with.
Revan was fucking with my perfectly crafted system. He was attempting to flip my balance so I would lose it all and I was not appreciative of it. Every tick of the clock meant he had more time to plot and to scheme and I simply wanted his head. The longer I went without it the more agitated I became. I couldn't protect my own with his men prowling my territory. The one I had killed this morning only whet my appetite for Revan's destruction. He was fucking with the balance between territories.
Lilith was resistant but she was accepting of him as an issue but MacIntosh was being an absolute bastard and agreeing with the snot nosed little shit. He lapped up his bullshit as if it were ambrosia and started purging his own territory of mongrels and regbloods. It was almost amusing to watch because I could already see his profits starting to tank. However his entire business with Revan was putting pressure on my territory and if they weren't careful I could see the Alphas getting involved and I wanted nothing to do with those elitist pricks after what they had done. I gave a low growl and my beast rumbled her savage agreement.
Dimitri and Victor gave low growls at my thoughts and in response to the growl I had let slip out. The sounds skipped down my spine, making me shiver. I wanted to look over my shoulder at them, to drink in their masculinity and harsh beauty but I continued to stare at the door. I tapped my fingernails in time to the clock hands ticking. Benjin had taken my cell phone out of the office when an unknown number had phoned it. He screened my calls for me, that was what a Beta did after all.
I glanced at the clock. Sutton had twenty minutes to get into my office. I wanted her to make it on time. I swear I had the urge to chain her to my desk. She was so strong willed that it reminded me of myself. My mouth twitched downwards and I bit my tongue slightly. I had been hard on her. Very hard. Too hard. The twins had expressed their dislike of my tactics in trying to keep Sutton under control. I felt like the entire situation was spiraling out of my limitless control and it rankled my beast, put her on edge.
Sutton had the protection of Madame Lao and she wasn't within my grasp. I needed to make sure she was safe. She was the biggest earner I had and she was one of the only ones that was close to me. I trusted her to never give me or my supply chains up. She was like a younger version of myself and I appreciated her but her mouth was getting her into serious trouble.
Viktor and Dimitir had refused to touch me after I had ordered them to beat Sutton. They told me family did not treat each other how I had treated Sutton. They would do as I bid but they were not happy and would retaliate with silences and rebuffing of my touch. That hadn't made me any less pissed off at her for running her mouth where others could see. I had only wanted her safe and where I could see her. That was it. Instead she had to act like a rebellious teenager and I let my temper get the better of me.
I tapped against the desk harder and a large, hand covered it gently, stilling my fingers.
"Stop." The word was low and whispered into my ear as Viktor picked my hand up and pressed his lips to my knuckles. I gave a shuddering sigh at the feeling it left in me, heat moved through my veins, relaxing me. I loved the two large lugs with my everything. They were the broken parts of my soul that had found me once more.
I leaned backwards as Dimitri's hands started to rub at my shoulders, working out the vicious kinks I had developed from the stress. I tilted my head back and Viktor kissed me softly, there was no need to hurry the moment as his lips moved on mine. Their touch was always pure bliss for me. The moment didn't last long as Benjin let out an explosive curse and shoved the door to the office open. I pulled away from Viktor and started at my Beta with a low snarl at the violent interruption. His face was angular and he let out bellowing snarl that almost had me flinching with its rage filled intensity.
"Revan got Sutton!" His voice was borderline growled and I felt myself stiffen as the words sunk in.
"Get her back now!" My beast was furious and I slammed my hands against my desk as I stood up. My muscles bulged as my beast surged forward. We would find the men who dared to take what was ours and we would tear them apart without mercy. No one touched what was under my protection, especially not her.
"I already have men comin-"
"No! I want everyone out looking for her!" It was getting hard to speak as my jaw cracked and my teeth elongated. "Tell them to spread out and search every inch of this fucking city to find her! And find me Revan's lair so I can burn it to the fucking ground!" My arm joint popped and twisted and the twins reached for me as if trying to calm me down. The beast was far too gone to be calmed.
"Find her!" The words were guttural and as soon as Benjin had left the room I grabbed the edge of the desk with clawed hands that bit deeply into the wood. I gave one solid yank upwards, flipping the desk across the room. The anger and rage was all consuming, it wouldn't stop until Sutton was back within reach and if the little beast thought she could wander out of my sight again she was sorely mistaken. I would literally chain her in my office to make sure she was safe. I didn't care if that Korean bitch got upset about it. Sutton was mine.
My dress shredded as the beast succeeded in forcing herself out. I let her, I was nearly angry enough for the both of us as she paced and decimated the furniture that got in her way. Items were crushed and mangled as she swiped at them with her claws but it wasn't what we needed, what we wanted. With our significant weight we slammed into the office doors and they splintered as our claws skittered on the tile flooring. Our focus was narrowed to one single point.
We needed to destroy.
We ignored the shouts of the twins as we slammed repeatedly into the stairwell door until it buckled underneath our weight and force. Without thinking we leapt down the stairs, taking it a landing at a time and ignoring how we slammed into the walls as we did so. Drywall dust littered our dark fur as we continued our descent to the ground floor. With one leap we buckled the next door. There were several loud screams as we skittered across the tiled entry way before bursting through the plate glass window.
We scented out our target and we scrambled into to the alleyway. We slammed into the dumpster, flipping it over. We jumped onto the body that had been tossed in there. It was only in limbs but we grabbed a leg and started ripping into it. We didn't know where Revan was so his dead man was the closest we could get to him. It would be enough to sate our appetite for the bastard's flesh.
"Oh zaika." Dimitri's voice was rumbling as he moved closer. We snarled at him before we continued to consume that which we could. We imagined it was Revan, we imagined it was him between our teeth as we stripped flesh from bone. We grew more consumed with rage as we consumed more and more of Revan's man, bones and all. Snapping and snarling at the twins as they tried to approach.
We lost ourselves in a red haze of rage until our stomach protested in fullness. A thick lethargy settled over us as we gnawed on a bone half heartedly. We stopped before we regurgitated a portion of what we had eaten, our stomach too full to hold it in. We let out a whine before we shifted back. I lay on the concrete and I closed my eyes, that had been more than draining.
Dimitri and Viktor approached me cautiously and I felt the burn of tears in my eyes. I hadn't lost control like that for a very long time and I felt ashamed that they had been there to witness it. I batted their hands away weakly as they reached for me but they ignored my feeble attempts as Dimitri lifted me off the ground, speaking to his brother in Russian. He cradled me to his chest, making me feel small and I buried my face into his neck as the tears slowly slipped out, saturating his skin.
I didn't know what I was currently feeling and all I could think was that I was a bit overwhelmed with everything that was going on. I hid my face in his neck, holding him tightly as Viktor placed his suit jacket over me, growling at what I assumed to be other males. I refused to pull my face from the comfort of Dimitri's neck as he carried me back into the building. I didn't need to appear to be weak in front of the lesser ranks. A thick growl rumbled off both the twins as we moved further into the building. I could hear the ding of the elevator and stiffened.
"Easy, kiska, stairs are messy. Need to go up." Viktor whispered it into my ear, his lips brushing my cheek in a soft kiss. I could hear the door to the elevator close and I turned my head and inhaled Viktor's scent deeply. They both smelled the same, the same crispness of snow on an evergreen tree. It was the smell of winter and it was soothing.
I reached out and wrapped my arm around Victor's neck, bringing him close as I buried my face into his neck. He tsked softly and ran his hand through my hair as he murmured to me in Russian. Low soothing words that rolled over me and made a lump appear in my throat. The tears were unrelenting as they pooled in my eyes. I needed time to think, to adjust to what was going on.
The elevator dinged and I reluctantly released Viktor to once again bury my face into Dimitri's neck. He carried me out of the elevator and to our den. It was the only logical place to go. I was coated in blood and bits of garbage. My own smell was making me want to gag. My full stomach rolled unpleasantly but I swallowed against the vomit that wanted to rise.
Viktor opened the hidden door to our den and Dimitri carried me through, ignoring everything as he carried me to the bathroom. He stepped into the large walk in shower before slowly setting me down. He held me close, allowing me to feel the hardness of his body as he did so. He pulled the suit jacket away as he turned on the shower stream. I closed my eyes as the water battered my skin. I turned my back to him, unwilling to let him see just how affected I was with everything.
I could hear the rustle of clothing being removed as I tilted my head up into the water droplets that were falling from the ceiling. I needed to be mindless for a bit, to not think about anything, to gain control back. Hands ran through my hair gently before hot skin pressed into my back. I could almost feel every edge and ridge his chest had as he pressed against me. I sniffled and he shushed me gently, reaching around me to grab the shampoo. I closed my eyes as he switched the spray from above our heads to the sides and started to work the shampoo through my hair.
Another hot body was soon pressed against my chest and I could feel my body shuddering with their close proximity. Even as tired as I was, my body craved theirs. Viktor murmured to me in Russian as Dimitri changed the shower setting so he could rinse out the shampoo. Viktor's hands moved across my skin, washing away the blood and dirt that had accumulated on it. I shuddered under his touch before I pressed my forehead to his chest. The burden of everything was pressing down on my shoulders heavily.
"What if we don't find her in time?" My voice sounded wavering and weak to my own ears and both males gave deep rumbling growls. "What if they turn her into a message too?" I felt my voice hitch in my throat. I had just wanted her safe, to be where I could keep track of her, where I could protect her. It was my foolish pride that had placed Sutton in the position she was now in.
"Sutton is smart. She will be okay." Dimitri pressed his lips to my shoulder before rubbing my body wash into my skin, helping Viktor clean me up. His words brought me little comfort.
"She never should have been out where she could be taken." I should have kept her close, held her tight to my side and within reach. I saw so much of myself in her. She was my favourite besides Benjin. I had tried to give her the opportunities that I never had. I gave her many privileges that other runners would have dreamed of. I allowed her into meetings between ranks and I had given her the perks of being ranked without the rank. I couldn't give her that, I would have if it had been possible but she had to wear her brand where it was because she couldn't handle the prestige her rank would have given her. "This is my fault." It was, no one could tell me different. Any harm that came to Sutton would be on me.
"Kiska, it is alright." Viktor turned my face up and kissed me softly, moving his lips over mine gently. I leaned into the kiss before Dimitri's hands moved over my stomach. It was slightly bulged with Revan's man, his flesh hung like a heavy stone low in my stomach but that wasn't what had me pulling his hands away from caressing the bulge. I grimaced as he pulled his hands out of mine and returned to rubbing my belly.
"One day, zaika, our baby will rest in here." He nipped at my ear and I struggled to get him to stop touching my belly. I didn't need to be reminded of my failures and shortcomings of being female. I didn't want to have him remind me of my inability to be what they both wanted.
"Don't do this too me right now." My voice warbled and Viktor held me tightly into place as Dimitri continued his rubbing. Tears fells from my eyes and I softly sobbed. I didn't need to be reminded of my failure in providing them with children when I had just failed someone my beast viewed as family.
"One day, baby will decide to take and your belly will become large and rounded with our son." Viktor whispered it into my ear as he rubbed my back gently. Dimitri's hands stilled on my belly and I gave a small coughing sob, pressing my face into Viktor's shoulder as the water cascaded over us.
"What if I want daughter?" Dimitri's voice was combative and Viktor chuckled, the sound vibrating his chest and into me.
"Why not we have both?" He sounded excited at the prospect and I wanted to tell them both to go away. I hated it when they brought it up. I hadn't been able to provide them with the children they and my beast wanted. So many attempts and no success. I didn't want to be reminded of it.
"Both... little boy and little girl, zaika." Dimitri said it low as he gently cradled my slightly bulging belly in his large hands. "One day, babies will arrive. Do not worry." He kissed my neck before his hand slid lower. I grabbed his wrist tightly, halting his movement. I wasn't in the mood.
"Just clean, my love." He pressed his lips to the spot below my ear that had my back arching. Viktor chuckled as he placed a knee between my legs, forcing me to spread them so his brother could clean me. I fought back a gasp at Dimitri's touch but true to his words he did nothing to arouse and was soon pulling his hand away. He turned me around and kissed me roughly, claiming my mouth with a roughness that was only tempered by how soft Viktor's kisses were.
"Belly is full of man flesh." Viktor patted my belly gently, poking at it slightly. "My little man eater." I broke the kiss as he tickled my side, the giggles erupting before I could hold them back. It was an involuntary reaction that I had no control over. His hands stilled and I let out a heavy sigh.
"What happens if-"
"Relax, my little man eater." Viktor was smiling, I could feel it against my neck as he said the words. "If no one finds sister, we go look." He lifted his head and he and Dimitri shared a look. I never quite knew what they were conveying when they looked at each other like that but I knew they were communicating in a way that I would never understand or experience for myself.
"We will find her and bring her back. We do not like seeing our love unhappy." Dimitri's gaze remained on his twin as he said it and both males nodded at the same time before finally breaking eye contact.
"Thank you." It was all that I could say to them at the moment. They were a gift from the moon herself and I thanked her every night that she had given them to me.
"No thanks. We do because we love you." Viktor murmured it into my ear and lightly bit my earlobe. I gave a gasping whine as I tilted my head back towards him. They were tremendous teases but I wasn't in the mood mentally for sex. He gave a me a small peck on the lips before releasing me.
"Come. Dry you off now." Dimitri held out a hand as he stepped out of the shower. I slipped mine into his and he soon had me wrapped in a fluffy towel before he picked me up and carried me out of the bathroom and towards the bed. He set me down on the soft mattress before kneeling in front of me. He was dripping water everywhere but he simply used the other towel he must have grabbed to start drying off my legs.
I relaxed under his ministrations, watching as the water droplets rolled down his muscled chest, following the ridges his body had that I always trailed with my mouth or fingertip when given the chance. They rolled along lazily down his ridged abdomen that always made my mouth water and towards the thatch of dark hair that encircled his-
"My eyes are up here." His tone was teasing and I dragged my eyes up to his with a faint smile on my face.
"I love you." The words were said softly and he pushed himself between my legs, wrapping his arms around my lower back as he looked up at me. I loved both of them so much it hurt at times.
"Ty maya lyubof' na fsyu zhizn'." He gave me a soft smile at the familiar words. You are my love forever. They always reached up into my chest, warming me up on even the coldest of days. I reached out and ran my hand through his soaking hair.
"She is our love forever, brother." Viktor emerged from the bathroom with a towel slung low over his hips and with another one that he was using to dry his hair.
"Always implied." Dimitri smirked slightly before he kissed the exposed part of my sternum, nuzzling my chest, inhaling deeply. The mattress sunk down as Viktor got onto the bed behind me. He gently started to dry my hair, his fingers rubbing my scalp through the towel. My gaze went half lidded with faint pleasure as they tended to me, making sure I was dry and warm. It relaxed me slightly but it didn't stop the guilt that was coursing through my veins.
"I want you both out there looking for Sutton. Bring her home." It was all that I wanted, to have her back where she was safe. I refused to think on any other possibility that might have been there.
"We shall do as you wish, kiska, but let us help you relax for a few moments." Viktor breathed the words in my ear before he trailed soft kisses down my neck that had me shivering as my skin erupted into pleasurable goosebumps. Dimitri returned to patting the water away from my skin before he grasped my legs and lifted them onto the bed. Viktor pulled me so I was lying on my side before he tugged me backwards so I was tucked close to his warm body. "Relax, my little kitten." He nuzzled my neck, his lips brushing the claim mark that Dimitri had given me. I bit back a gasp as the feeling it left in me. Emotions were bombarding me viciously but being in Viktor's embrace was enough to help push them away for a moment. I allowed my stiff muscles to relax.
"I am going to tear Revan's empire down. I will leave it rubble and ruin if he hurts her." He had disrespected me and my empire. He had taken what was mine and if he hurt what was viewed as kin by my beast there would be no hope for his survival. My beast rumbled her agreement. There was no way he would be allowed to live if he damaged Sutton, the last gang of regbloods that hurt her had been strung up on the tower. Sutton believed I had let them go and I had to an extent but all of them died under mysterious circumstances a few weeks or months later. I didn't allow that type of behaviour or threats to my own.
"We will help our little kitten as she takes her vengeance. We shall watch as you burn the world to ash." Viktor sounded savagely joyful about my thoughts and I felt my mouth tug upwards slightly before I wiggled closer to him. I could feel him, hot and heavy, pressing against me and he gave a low grunt, biting my shoulder lightly in warning. His arm slid from my hips to move around to palm a towel covered breast. I rolled my eyes but allowed the contact. If it wasn't Dimitri grabbing my ass, it was Viktor palming my breasts. They certainly knew which parts of me they wished to claim individually.
"You will get her back." It was a faint order but I wanted Sutton back in my tower before the sun set. I wouldn't allow her to be in their hands for any longer than that. The longer she was in their grasp the more harm that would come to her.
"Zaika, you are so demanding but it is such a small thing we would be honoured to do it for you." Dimitri walked over, dressed in a dark pair of jeans and an equally dark shirt. It was his hunting gear. He jerked his head and Viktor gave a small grumble before he turned my head and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, lingering for a few heartbeats. My eyes fluttered closed before he pulled away.
"We will bring her home, kiska." He moved away from me and I followed his progress with my eyes until Dimitri took his place behind me. His hands were a bit more possessive as he held me. He pulled me close until there was no space between us and let out a contented rumble from his chest. I closed my eyes, lacing my fingers though the hand on my hip. He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles.
"When your business is done, when you bathe in this man's blood, Viktor and I are taking you to the motherland. To our cabin and we are staying there for a month." His words were hot and silky in my ear and I wanted to shudder under the implications those words held.
"I can't just drop everything and le-"
"No discussion, my love. Viktor and I are taking you away so we can enjoy you and you can enjoy us without interruption." There was a harsh line of demand to his voice that normally would have set my beast to growling but she was more intrigued by his words than anything. She was a real bitch in heat sometimes.
"The cabin is cold." It was a flimsy excuse but I used it to get a certain reaction. He gripped my hip and ground himself into me, letting me feel how affected he was by me. I bit back a gasp at how good it felt.
"We will keep you warm, zaika. In bed, on the table, against the walls. We will make you feel like you are burning from the inside out. The cold will not bother you for one second." The words were hot and possessive on the skin of my neck as he drew his teeth over his claim. I couldn't help the whimper that escaped from the teasing. "It will happen, Octavia. We are taking you there."
I normally didn't pander to their domineering side but I was feeling inclined to let this one slide because I knew it would have a generous reward for me if I played along. He was right, everything was making spending time with them a hard impossibility. When Sutton was returned unharmed and Revan's blood was smeared across my skin, we deserved to have a break. Benjin would be able to take care of the empire for a month. I wouldn't exactly give him a chance to say no before I would be on the plane to Russia.
"Can we go see mamochka too?" I loved their mother, she was such a loving woman, tough as nails but had a warm heart. Dimitri chuckled before be nuzzled the back of my head. The light, bantering conversation was making me feel better about everything, allowing me to slowly sort through the overwhelming emotions.
"And papka." His voice was low and rumbling and it slid across my skin in a soft caress.
"Of course papka. Can't forget him." The only family I had was Benjin and he wasn't related to me, he was more of a guardian and a protector than true family. I loved him like he was but there was still that disconnect there. I had been more than surprised when the twins' family brought me into their home and treated me as though I was their daughter.
"Babushka too." Viktor said it as he pulled on his shirt, I felt my bottom lip stick out slightly as his chest was covered. They were so beautifully created.
"Babushka will come?" Their grandmother was old and I didn't want for her to over tax herself too much on my account. Dmitri kissed my shoulder before he shifted so he hovered over me slightly.
"Of course. Babushka loves you." He turned my face before he captured my lips with his own. Passion rolled through me, it was funny how similar they were yet how utterly different they could be. Viktor ignited a slow burn that felt hotter than the sun and Dimitri was a flash fire, electric in his touch. He pulled away before nipping at my cheek affectionately. His eyes darkening with his beast. "We go fetch Sutton." I sat up on the bed and Viktor walked over with my silk robe, drawing it over my shoulders before removing my towel. I had stopped complaining when they demanded to undress me. years ago. It was only natural for me to allow them to tend to me.
"We come back with her." He gave me a quick kiss before he pressed his face to my neck, inhaling deeply. Once Viktor pulled away Dimitri took his place, inhaling my scent deep into his lungs.
"And the man who took her. I want him alive." I made sure my gaze was on Viktor as I said it. Viktor might have been my gentleman in the bedroom but between him and Dimitri he was brutality personified. His expression pinched slightly. "I want them both alive." I would deal with the man who took Sutton. It was my kill and I wouldn't allow it to be taken. I flashed him my teeth and he slowly nodded.
"He will be alive." He didn't like saying the words, I could hear it in his voice but he would listen.
"And conscious." I wanted the man to be awake and I knew Viktor could handle him roughly enough that the man would be technically alive but pretty much a vegetable.
"Whatever you wish, my love." Dimitri pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose before he stood up to his rather intimidating height. Both twins bowed their heads to be before they exited the den. Unease swirled in my gut like it did every time they left me alone. I never wished to be classified as needy but they made me that way. Having all their attention on me and either having one or the other when one was gone, not having them by my side was always something I hated.
I stood up and tied the robe around my waist before I moved towards the door. The office was being cleaned and the wood flooring was being ripped up. I ignored the harsh and grating sounds as I moved over to the window. My empire lay out before me and I knew they had Sutton somewhere hidden down in the maze of streets.
"Make the hardwood dark cherry this time." My words instantly caused all the activity to stop for a brief moment. "And bring in some tarps. Tonight will be a messy night and I do not wish for my new hardwood to get stained." I continued to stare out into the street as I tried to visualize where Sutton could have been taken. I had full faith in the twins. Their tracking skills were extraordinary. They had managed to track me down after I had visited Russia. All it had taken was my scent and a few well taken hostages to torture information from before they made their way to North America. It had taken them two months to track me down.
I expected them to return with Sutton by sundown, especially if she was taken through the streets. They knew them almost as well as Sutton. Worry gnawed at me but I shoved it away. It would do me no good and they would return with Sutton unharmed and with the man who thought he could take what was mine. I gave a feral grin. I would enjoy tearing him to pieces.