Maya Hart woke up to the blaring sound of her alarm with her phone on the table and her book on her chest. She bolted up and rushed around the apartment, for some reason this tiny place seemed so much bigger in a rush. Tripping and stumbling Maya was struggling to pull herself together enough to leave, first she put her pants on backwards, and then her shirt was inside-out. It was as if the universe was telling her to stay home again, like she wasn't meant to go out the doors. Regardless of what she thought the universe was saying she made a promise, she promised Lucas she'd come to school, she promised Riley she's always pick her up before school, and she'd promised herself that she'd let anyone suspect she was anything but okay.
Eventually, she'd found herself ready for the day – pants and shirt put on correctly and all. She turned back to grab a jacket but she was already running late to get to Riley's so she decided to skip the coat and just speed walk the entire way there. She slammed the door behind her and Jeremy was sitting outside with a beer bottle in his hand.
"Hey blondie keep it down I'm trying to drink!" He was squinting and from the collection of glass bottles around him you could easily assume he'd been 'trying to drink' all night. He stood up and started to walk in her direction.
"I'm sorry Jer, I'll leave you alone." Had Jeremy been her mother she would have ignored him and run off to her room, locking the door behind her, he however was not. And there was nowhere for her to run off to.
"You think you're letting me off the hook blondie? Think you could take me?" He was walking closer and closer and she kept backing up until she was up against the building and he was in her face. "You think I'm scared of you, do you blondie?" He laughed and the stench of beer made her wince, and he took notice.
With one swift motion he had his hands wrapped around her neck and her feet were lifting off the ground. Maya was flailing and squirming but she wasn't a match against drunken rage. Just as she started to fade out a little he threw her onto the ground, she put her arms in front of her and when she landed on the concrete her hand smashed into a beer bottle sending shards of glass deep into her skin. Jeremy then began to kick her and he got down on his knees and beat her until she smashed a bottle on his head, he took a shard off the ground and slashed her face with it, then he spit on her and walked away.
Maya lay on the concrete, everything felt much worse in the moment but from previous experience she knew nothing was broken. She mustered up just enough strength to climb up the stairs back to the apartment where she started picking glass out of her hand. When she got most of the glass out she cleaned her hand with some hand sanitizer and went into her room to change her clothes since the ones she was wearing were now completely ripped and covered in blood. She opted for jeans – which hurt like h*ll to put on- a long sleeved t-shirt and a jacket, she also wore one glove on her hand to hide that. Everything was covered, everything was hidden. Everything except the massive gash on her face which was still dripping with blood.
On her way out Maya grabbed a dirty washcloth off of the counter to hold to her face on her walk to Riley's- if she was lucky she'd make it in time and the bleeding would stop.
By the time she got to Riley's building Riley would've already left for school, so Maya pressed on and walked to the school alone. A bunch of people were staring- who wouldn't? There was blood drying in her hair and she didn't have enough time to wash it out before she left. By the time she got to the school everyone was already making their way into their first hour so she followed suit. She threw the cloth out before walking in and she moved her hair around to try to cover the wound. When she walked in she made sure to tilt her head down so it wasn't too suspicious all her hair was in her face, but not enough that you could see the blood in her hair.
Maya tried to focus on what Mr. Matthews was saying during the lesson, but the lights were too bright, everyone was talking so loud, and her head felt like it was about to explode. She must have been making a face because Cory knelt in front of her desk.
"Maya do you need to go to the nurse?" Her hair was still covering half of her face and the shadows his her neck relatively well, so she assumed she was making a face.
"I'm okay." She croaked out, she was surprised at her own voice. It was broken and brittle, she could barely make out a whisper.
"Maya are you okay?" Lucas said from behind her, leaning forward. Riley looked at her phone, bored because she thought this was just Lucas paying attention to Maya to annoy her. Maya turned around and her hair shifted so you could just see the beginning of the laceration.
"Oh my gosh Maya, what happened?" Lucas moved to brush more of her hair back but she stood up and stiffly walked out of the room. Riley caught the end of the conversation so she rushed out of the classroom to go see what was going on.
When she got to the hallway Maya was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands, she was shaking a little and you could see the blood on her scalp.
"Maya?" Riley sat in front of her and moved her hands away from her face revealing the entire gash, "Oh my- Maya you have to go to the nurse or the hospital or something, Maya you need help."
"No Riley." She whispered even softer now that she was choking back tears, "If I do they'll examine me and take me away from my mom." Riley looked at her, she didn't know what to do, she thought she knew everything about Maya, she thought she knew all of the bad things because she told Maya everything.
"Maya – why would they take you away from your mom?" Maya leaned into Riley, letting the tears fall, burning as they entered the wound on her face. Maya didn't need to say a word more, Riley knew. She could figure it out, because Maya didn't wear flip flops or sandals in the summer and she always wore socks. Because Maya wore jackets when it was 80 degrees out and because every time she wore shorts or a skirt she wore tights underneath it.
Riley helped Maya up just before the bell rang and helped her to class, trying to make sure the stares were minimal, she was doing everything she could to help her, she felt terrible. Only when Maya looked as hurt on the outside as she was on the inside did she ever take notice, and the worst part of it all was Riley still had no idea how bad things really were for Maya.
After French Riley helped Maya into the bathroom and started to help her wash out the blood in her hair.
"Maya, did your mom do this to you." She shook her head, and mouthed the name Jeremy, but Riley had no idea who that was.
Maya managed to go through most of the day unnoticed besides the fact that for a good few classes she had soaking wet hair. She was standing out by the curb waiting for the bus and Lucas was standing a few steps away as though he thought getting too close would scare her away like he did in History. However, when the bus pulled up Maya tried to get on by herself but she was still too sore so he pushed past the crowd of annoyed students and helped her all the way back to their seat. After they sat down, and she was by the window with nowhere to run off to, he gave her a good, long, worried look.
"Maya why won't you just tell me what happening." The bus started to move and she knew he would be persistent so she tucked her hair behind her ear, and that's when he noticed the black bruise wrapping all around her neck.
"Maya who did this." His voice was no longer worried, it was hostile and demanding, just like she remembered her father's voice. She tried to shrink away towards the window and escape the memories that were crashing through her head of her father and mother sobering up in the morning and then wondering who had given their little girl such big bruises, not realizing it was them.
"Lucas, I'm fine." She played with the end of her hair, "It's my fault I slept in."
"You shouldn't be here Maya, you need to go to a hospital."
She looked down at her hands and smiled, "But I promised you I'd be here."
He wrapped his arm around her and she went stiff at first, but this was Lucas not Kermit or Katy, so she let herself melt like putty into his shoulder, she fit so perfectly there. Funny thing is when you love talking to someone so much you don't need to talk anymore, you can just sit in silence and be perfectly happy just existing together.
"Promise me you'll never keep a promise again if it ends up getting you hurt." He put his head gently on top of hers and held her close as if she were going to slip right out of his arms and disappear.
"I promise."
Maya came home to Katy that day, the apartment still reeked of alcohol, it was a miracle that Topanga never noticed when Katy showed up to work smelling of a booze and slurring her speech. Maya set the empty lunchbox on the counter and smiled.
"Hi mom."
"Hi honey," she stumbled over and kissed her on the forehead, "Oooh I like your new makeup look, it's like you're a warrior RAWR." She giggled and rubbed her thumb against part of the cut which caused the scab to reopen. "Oops I messed it up." Maya held her head back and found some tape left over so she wadded up some toilet paper and taped it to her face, when she was finished dressing her wound she went back to find her mom pouring herself another drink.
"C'mon mom sit on the couch with me." She said plopping down on one of the old cushions. Katy came over slowly, her drink sloshing around and sat down next to Maya. Maya took the drink out of her hand and set it on the table.
"Here lay down for a little bit I'll get you another drink." Katy leaned back and just as Maya made it to the kitchen she passed out, Maya grabbed a blanket off one of their chairs and placed it over her mom, picked up the drink and poured it down the sink. After that Maya walked into the bathroom and took off all her clothes except her bra and underwear. She had the obvious gash on her forehead, her hand looked like it could split in two in an instant, her stomach, arms, legs, and neck were covered in bruises, and there were scrapes on her arm from landing on the concrete. She then looked down at the bottoms of her feet, there were black circles from when Katy and Kermit would smoke together, and they'd always end up putting their blunt out on her. She had these burn marks on the bottoms of her feet and around her back. I'm fine. She started the water for her shower. I probably deserved it.
Her shower was quick as it usually was and she was sitting at her desk in her room with a towel on her head reading through the letters she'd already written. It was weird seeing the words she'd thought for so long down on paper, but it was comforting knowing they were there. However, Maya grew up knowing that whatever she did was initially never good enough, so she decided to study what other people had to say. After finishing The Metamorphosis Maya went to the shelf and picked out the book she was most excited to read – The Waves by Virginia Woolf.
Maya was just really getting into the book when she got a text from Riley in the group chat, she was wondering what she was doing and if she was okay.
Maya: I'm okay Riles, just reading a book.
Lucas: Looking at the pictures again?
Maya: Naturally
Farkle: What book?
Maya: The Waves.
She smiled and set her phone aside, face down, all she wanted was to finish the book. You see, Maya took a lot of inspiration from Woolf, she wrote the words that Maya couldn't figure out how to say, art could only tell so much of a story- and paintings can be misinterpreted, this is why she was writing letters. Words are the only sure way people understand what you're saying.
A few hours later, it was dark out and Maya set the book aside and was on her phone texting Lucas.
Lucas: "For this moment, this one moment, we are together. I press you to me."
Maya: "Come, pain, feed on my. Bury your fangs in my flesh. Tear me asunder. I sob, I sob."
Lucas: I was kinda hoping you wouldn't know the rest of the quote
Maya: Sorry Huckleberry I know everything
Lucas: Then why do you let everyone think you don't?
Maya: "On the outskirts of every agony sits the divine fellow who points."
She then shut off her phone again, and turned off her light, she wasn't going to risk sleeping in ever again.