Chapter 9
This is it. There is no turning back.
Well, there obviously was, but I wasn't going to allow anything to bring me through that train of thought. I'd slap myself stupid first. What I did allow myself to feel, though, were the nervousness, the guilt and a spark of excitement as I sat on the train, completely forgetting the mistakes I'd probably made in the test earlier. Paranoid, I had checked my surroundings multiple times before boarding the train – even hissing at Jarell who stood beside me, all nonchalant, when I had asked him to help me out.
"Stupid housefly," I'd whispered venomously.
He'd opened his mouth to say something equally insulting, but a look of defeat crossed his features when he realised that he hadn't thought of a new nickname for me just yet. I had shaken my head in sympathy then returned to looking around my surroundings, before running to the train. It was only when the door closed did I relax.
"You don't look so good," he said a few minutes after the train left the first station.
I glared at Jarell, who was standing in front of me, looking proud of himself. A ghost needed neither core muscles nor handrails to stay balanced on the moving vehicle. Much to his delight, he'd just found another perk of being half-dead.
"Stop thinking whatever you're thinking."
I quickly typed a reply on my phone. Easier said than done. Jarell moved to get a better view. When the man beside me stood up from his seat to alight, Jarell sat. I'd long since lost my patience and had told him he had my permission to sit anywhere, except my bed, he'd like to until forever.
"Doesn't this feel like our positions have reciprocated?"
He needn't say anymore, because I understood. My thoughts exactly, I typed. But don't get cocky.
"Whatever. You'll thank me by the end of today anyway, like how I thanked you that day."
I crossed my arms silently. It felt weird to be talking to him without facing him, but I knew he understood what I was trying to say.
At the corner of my eye, Jarell clapped his hands together soundlessly. "Now then, I shall start thinking up of several nicknames for you. Be sure to keep your expression in check or the old lady sitting opposite you will think you're constipated."
I looked at the woman in front of me who was watching the passing scenery behind me. Oh, God, I wanted to strangle Jarell so badly right now. You are so dead.
"Any pun intended? Because that would be the funniest joke you've made so far."
I gave a soft growl. The old lady made eye contact with me briefly before continuing on with looking out.
"Now, let's see... how about feral tiger? Wait, no, that makes you sound so much better than what you call me. Let's see... an insect. Cockroach!" The thought of it made me shiver. "No, no... although I do see a little bit of resemblance, you don't fit that name." I almost sighed in relief. "Am I really not allowed to say any names in relation to Cinderella? Because I think Gus suits you; you eat a lot." I placed my hand on my right thigh and clenched it into a fist. Jarell chuckled.
So this torture went on for the next hour or so. I'd very nearly been called so many things. After Gus, I'd almost been Glass, Slipper, Pumpkin, Pumpkin Seed, Tomato, Pear, Apple... I had no idea what came to him to start trying to link me with fruits, but it was better than linking me with Cinderella, although I did find myself calmer than before about this link with the fairy tale princess; as long as it was indirectly linked, I was fine. At the end of it though, Jarell had yet to think of something he was happy with.
When we alighted, we took a short bus ride, alighted again, before taking a walk. It was a good thing I'd changed out of my uniform into simple t-shirt and bermudas. The heat was violent even at five-thirty, and it didn't help at all that the area lacked trees. Other than wide roads with tall grasses on both sides, and a couple of cars passing by once in a while, this place was very nearly deserted. A fifteen minutes' walk was enough to bring me near to my knees. It was pure bliss when we finally entered the air-conditioned main office of Madam Clar's Animal Shelter for Dogs. Right underneath their name on the signboard outside was 'Adopt; don't buy!'
"Hello," I said to the lady sitting behind the counter. It, along with the rest of the small office, was white, the walls covered by posters of dogs of different breeds, all smiling down at me cheekily.
The lady looked up and I was met with a pair of emerald green eyes behind red-rimmed spectacles. Her face brightened. "Why, hello there! How may I help you?" But before I could answer, she said, "Oh, you're the volunteer, right? I received your email yesterday." When I nodded, her toothy grin got wider. Instead of getting the chills, I found myself smiling back, suddenly eager to meet the dogs. She chuckled when she saw my reaction. "I know just how you're feeling. I remember how I first started out too, just like you, and look where I am now?" She put out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Lillian Macer. You must be Ellyn Rosieh, I presume?"
"I am. It's nice to meet you, Lillian."
"Now," she said as she moved to stand, her bobhair swaying in rhythm. "I'll bring you to the back to meet our residents and Becca, my colleague. She's doing the last of the cleaning up. We'd usually have more help, but Teri has something popping up at the last minute. The other volunteers will only be around during the weekends, but we do get them on the weekdays, like you, but rarely. Oh, and here, pass me your bag. I'll just put it in here." She stashed it in a locker below the counter and passed me the key.
I just nodded, not knowing what to say, as I walked a little behind her to the door that led outside. Loud barks immediately reverberated throughout the area – a form of welcome from the lovely fellows.
We walked past several large kennels on our right, each enough to hold two to three dogs in one, and these kennels stretched on, finally turning to a corner at one point. A detached tiled roof was raised above us, and they protected the dogs from rain and shine. They even had fans installed intermittently, currently on at full blast, keeping the heat at bay. As we walked on, I started to accept the fact that I would never be able to learn everything about dogs. There were so many different breeds I barely even know half of them, all of which were greeting me with their tongues out and wagging tails. I could feel a smile creep up my face already.
I turned to look at Jarell, expecting him to be affected by the mood the dogs exuded, but all I saw was apprehension. That was when I understood.
"You're afraid of them, aren't you?" I said knowingly, ready to tease him.
"What's that?" Lillian turned to look at me with a smile.
"I'm saying how lively they all are," I said quickly.
Jarell smirked at my mistake. "Careful now," he said. "You don't want anyone to know that you talk to yourself one too many times."
I maintained my smile as best I could when Lillian laughed and said, "Of course! They'd love to have a visitor any day. Not being wanted wholly is a sad, sad thing. These poor beautiful souls. They deserve so much better."
From my mouth, an involuntary gasp escaped. Amidst the barks, that gasp was too soft to be heard. I waited until her back was turned before I let the pang of emotion hit me fully. She had no idea just how well the last thing she said related to me.
The urge to tease Jarell was no longer on my mind. If Jarell noticed anything, he didn't let it on, but I could almost feel the intensity of his gaze, as though he was willing me to look at him... or maybe he was just hoping I would remember to tease him (which was highly doubtful). I decided to let him keep his fear a secret if he so wanted to for now, since he had already been doing it for a few days now.
My smile came up again when we neared a kennel.
"Becca, Ellyn is here!"
A girl in her twenties was standing inside with a labrador's paws on her shoulders.
"Oh, hi! I'm Becca!" she greeted cheerfully before absorbing into giggles. "Bill, stop. Down! Bad doggy!" But Bill was relentless, and she finally fell on the floor with an "Oof!", his weight too much for her.
Lillian started laughing as she entered the kennel. "Oh, come now, Bill. Give Becca a break." Another labrador with a darker brown coat came up to her. Lillian gave it a pet on the head. "Hello, Barok." Then, turning to look at me, she said, "These two are brothers. It's almost unbelievable how different they are, huh?"
Becca stood up and turned to me, her round eyes wide and full of humour. "Sorry about that. Bill just likes to do that."
"It's okay."
"So, you're here. Good timing. We're going to bring the dogs out for a walk after their dinner." She paused. "You will be staying, right?"
"Er..."
"Say yes!" Jarell said.
"I can't say for sure. There are some things I need to take care of later. I'm so sorry," I responded guiltily, giving my rose pendant a pinch.
Jarell groaned.
"Oh, that's okay. Lillian and I already considered it a miracle to have you volunteering your time on a weekday like this, especially when Teri isn't around at the moment."
"Why don't you bring Ellyn along to get their food? I can clean up the rest," Lillian said as she grabbed a mop just outside the kennel.
"Okay. Thanks, Lillian!" Becca exited the large kennel and beckoned me to follow her back to the office, stopping for a while to wash her hands from a water hose, body bent to prevent water from splashing all over. "It'll be better for you to wear slippers next time you come. We don't want your shoes to get wet and dirty when we clean up." Her eyes were averted to look at my footwear.
I stared down at my sneakers, imagining it drenched from washing the dogs and having no shoes to wear to school because they couldn't dry on time. My step-relatives would see something gone wrong and they would question me until I confessed. That thought did not sit well with me. At all. "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind." But only if I'm going to come back.
Jarell raised his brows at me, but said nothing.
"Okay, that's that." She flicked water off her hands. "Come on. The storeroom is in the office." She jingled a key in front of me and smiled.
When we walked back, I had a few dog bowls stacked in one hand, and in another, a bag of dog food so heavy, I had no idea how they could possibly be carrying this everyday. Becca didn't look like she was struggling as much as I was though.
"We're almost there. Hang on!" Becca turned back and grinned at me, two bags of dog food in her hands, and two stacks of bowls stuck between her waist and arms.
"I'm okay," I huffed, trying to catch my breath. "How are you able to carry them so easily anyway?"
"Oh, I go to the gym every morning before coming to work. It's easy 'cause I live nearby, just two bus stops away. And I believe that fifty pounds isn't that heavy for a person to carry," she added with a laugh.
While I gawked, Jarell looked impressed. "Maybe you should learn from her. No more struggling from climbing up the stairs in school everyday. How does that sound?"
I raised my chin and ignored him, easy to do as all the dogs seemed to be extremely excited that it was time for dinner.
"How many dogs are there?"
"Twenty-six."
I looked at the three bags... okay, maybe two and a half – there were leftovers from their lunch. "Isn't it too much?"
"It's adequate. We have a lot of large dogs here."
We started with Bill and Barok's cage, since their kennel was still not locked. Becca and I knelt to pour pellets into the bowls while Lillian made sure the metal door was kept closed.
"Go in and give it to them," Lillian said kindly. "It's a good way for them to get used to you."
I took their bowls, then stepped inside with Becca, who went forward and tried desperately to keep Bill away from me – only to fail. There was a blur of brown before I found myself on the floor with two overturned bowls of pellets in my hands. Dogs all around barked even louder, more excitedly, at the sound of the pellets made when they fell onto the floor. When Bill started licking me, I laughed for the first time in ages.