Charlotte's POV:
Ever since I went back in time, every day I've gone down to the Black Lake and sat where my dad once sat, I feel no closer to him by doing this but for some reason I keep hoping that somehow it will bring me closer to him and I want to slap myself for that. I keep getting my hopes up only to be let down every single time, when will I learn?! I'm sat under the tree by the lake right now, most of the snow has melted away but it's still cold especially since it's a very crisp February morning and it's also about half seven in the morning. Yep that's right I'm outside at that ungodly hour and I've been sat here for the past 2 and a half ungodly hours, once again I couldn't sleep so I came and sat out here with a blanket and just thought about life while watching the sun rise over the lake, I know deep shizzzz.
'Lottie? What you doing out here, everyone's been looking for you everywhere!' I hear someone say behind me and I turn to see George, I smile weakly at him as he sits down next to me and I put the blanket over him too 'So what are you doing out here?!' he asks me and I shrug
'I couldn't sleep so I came out and started thinking.' I told him and he continued to look at me but my eyes were on the lake
'What were you thinking about?!'
'How I keep getting my hopes up and keep getting let down each time I do.' I tell him truthfully
'Sometimes the hopes and dreams that come true are the ones we never knew we had.' he told me and I finally tore my gaze off of the lake to stare at him, did that seriously just come out of his mouth?
'Since when did you get so deep and intelligent?' I ask him still slightly dumbfounded by what he just said
'Everyone knows me as the carefree, funny guy and no one really gives me a chance to be the deep, caring guy!' he tells me and I can tell he isn't lying, he seems a bit sad about it
'I'm always here if you wanna talk about it.' I tell him, really not wanting him to be so sad, he sighs and then starts to spill his feelings
'I've always been known as the more quiet twin, the less funny twin so everyone always prefers Fred and sometimes it makes me feel a bit unloved and unwanted but I cover up my sadness by making others happy by pranking. I don't want to hide anymore but sometimes it all gets to much though, it really gets to you never being anyone's favourite!' he tells me and I'm now utterly gobsmacked, how could he think that
'You're my favourite!' I tell him in a barly audible voice. I keep my eyes on the blanket covering us but that didn't stop me from being able to feel George's gaze burning a hole in the side of my head
'Really?!' he said in the same barely audible tone as I did and I tear my gaze away from the blanket to look up at George as I nod, he smiles but it's quickly replaced with a frown which makes me stare at him quesionabley 'You're not just saying this because you feel sorry for me?!' he ask and I laugh a little
'No George I really, truly, honestly mean it!' I tell him and he smiles
'So want to talk more about what you were thinking about?!' he asks me changing the subject and I sigh, there's no one I trust more than George apart from Harry but I don't think I could have this conversation with Harry
'I set myself up for disaster and I need to stop being so naive and vunerable.' I tell him and he nods seeming to understand what I'm trying to say 'Why does this always happen to me? Did I do something wrong and this is my punishment? Is there something wrong with me?' I ask and he looks me in the eye for a moment before answering
'This isn't a punishment Lottie, we accept the love we think we deserve. There'll come a day when you know what you truly deserve and that'll be the day when you finally have someone who considers you their whole world and would do anything for you.' he tells me, his eyes never leaving mine.
That's when he kisses me, nothing too passionate, his lips were soft and plump and I'm surprised I didn't melt but I did feel tens of thousands of sparks and butterflies coursing through my veins then he pulls away and looks me in the eye again 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. That didn't mean anything. It was just in the heat of the moment. I should... I should go. Just forget that even happened.' he stutters before stumbling back to the castle, leaving me sat there, alone. Replaying his words in my head as my fingers brush my lips.
That didn't mean anything
It didn't even mean anything to him, I knew he didn't like me. Why did I listen to Ginny and Hermione? Now I'm sat here by the lake crying, again. I'm such a bloody idiot. I'm so gullible and stupid and idiotic and worthless and just urgh.
By now I'm sobbing and I can't risk anyone seeing me crying so I apparate to the kitchens
'Hello Miss Potter.'
'H-hi Libby.' I sob
'What's wrong Miss Potter?'
'Just boys Libby.'
'Could I get you anything Miss Potter?'
'Could I have three tubs of ice cream? One cookie dough, one chocolate and one double fudge brownie. Then could I have a bar of chocolate and five bottles of butter beer please.'
'Of course Miss Potter, right away Miss Potter.' And then she scuttles off to get everything I asked while I sit and sob.
After a few minutes she returns with a basket full off all the food and drinks I asked for 'Are you having a party Miss Potter?!' she askes and I sigh
'Sort of it's a party for one though.' I tell her but she doesn't seem to get my joke, not that it sounded very funny
'Well have fun Miss Potter.'
'Thanks Libby.' I say and then apparate to my bedroom and burst into and even bigger fit of sobs while opening the first ice cream tub. I'm already in comfy clothes, galaxy leggings and a teenage dirtbag sweater to be exact so I kick off my converse and sit on my bed, eating ice cream, crying while being wrapped in the blanket I was under down by the lake and the worst part is that the blanket smells like George which makes me cry harder but I can't bring myself to take it off. The scent seems to be absorbing me.
I open a bottle of butter beer and down it in one then open another one and do the same.
By the time I've finished all the butter beers and three tubs of ice cream it's almost 10 o'clock, I'm still crying and to make things even better someone knocks on the door
'Lottie?' They say and then knock again 'Lottie we know you're in there. Come on open up, it's me and Ginny.' that's when I know it's Hermione speaking. I compose myself enough to go over and open the door to see the faces of my two favourite girls who are smiling until they see my face and their faces drop. They rush in the room and see the mess of empty bottles and ice cream tubs then turn back to me
'What happened?' Ginny asks as the three of us sit down on my bed
'Your stupid brother and his feelings that don't exist.' I sob
'What?' Hermione asks and I tell them about our conversation by the lake
'And then he said 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. That didn't mean anything. It was just in the heat of the moment. I should... I should go. Just forget that even happened.' And he just got up and left.' I say and they look at me in sympathy which makes me a tad angry 'Stop, stop with the sympathetic looks. I don't need it, I just need to move on from him. It's a lost cause, he's never going to like me back.' I scowled them and they give me little nods
'I can't believe he'd do that though.' Ginny says in disbelief and Hermione nods in agreement
'Well believe it! But you can't tell anyone about any of this, especially George.' I tell them and they sigh
'Okay Lottie, this can be our secret.' Hermione says and we all hold out our pinkies and three way pinkie promise
'Not that I don't love you guys and don't like your company but I just wanna be alone right now.' I mumble and they nod
'Okay Lottie, get happy soon. I don't like seeing you like this.' Ginny says while hugging me and I smile weakly, hugging her back
'Thanks Ginny.' I mumble then Hermione hugs me
'I don't like seeing you like this either.' she says before letting go and leaving the room with Ginny following her
I don't feel like crying anymore but I what I do feel is extremely sick so I run as fast as I can to my bathroom and puke out everything that was in my stomach.
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5 minutes later there wasn't anything left in my stomach but I couldn't stop gagging so I stayed by the toilet. I'm never eating that much EVER again.
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I finish gagging and just sit there staring at the wall for a little while, not really knowing what to do, I just feel hollow now. Like I've gotten all my emotions out and now there's nothing left I'm just an empty shell. This must be how people who have suffered with the dementor's kiss feel like.
I'm in some sort of daze and in my daze I decide to go on a walk, nowhere special just wherever my feet take me.
I walk and I walk and I walk unaware of my surrondings, to absorbed in my thoughts that are blank. I can't see the people staring at me but I can feel there questioning eyes burning into my skin. I ignore it though, I keep facing forward and continue to walk I don't know where.
People begin to blur and blend into the background becoming a mess of different colours taking up my view that is apart from one. I feel a hands on my shoulders and look up to see George but then I realize it's not George, it's Fred. His lips are moving like he's talking to me but I can't hear a thing in my daze to I push past him and continue walking. He doesn't give up in getting my attention though I know he's following me without even turning around, I can feel him staring at me along with the rest of the people around me.
I realize I'm outside when I can feel the grass under my bare feet but I continue to walk. Physically I know where I'm going but mentally I have no idea which explains why my body knows where to go without my brain telling it.
The lake keeps getting closer and closer until I'm knee deep, I can sense Fred shouting for me to come back but I continue to pull myself through the freezing water now chest deep and my chest feels tight from the lack fo oxygen from the cold but I continue to walk.
When it finally gets to my neck I feel someone's presence beside me and know it's Fred, why did he follow me. I turn to face him and he's already looking down at me saying something but I shake my head, I can't even make out what he's saying so why should he waste his breath? I grab his hand from under the water, feeling like somehow this will protect him from where my body is taking me. He looks at me questionably and for the first time in my daze I speak 'Trust me.' I squeak and he nods his head before following me deeper into the water.
Soon enough we've started swimming and I know there's about 20 feet of water underneath us now and that's when I stop swimming and start treading water, Fred looks at me and again I repeat the words 'Trust me.' Thats when we take our last breaths and start sinking to the bottom.
When my feet finally touch the lake floor I take Fred's right hand in my left, he looks like he can't hold his breath much longer and that's when my protectiveness kicks in again and all of a sudden the answers are right in front of me.
I lift my hands above my head, still gripping Fred's hand then as fast as lightening I fling them back down by my sides and as my hands go down so does the water level until the floor that we're standing on is bone dry and so is the path that we took from the side of the lake. I'm out of my daze now I'm just stood there bewildered at what I just did. I turn to see Fred looking at the dry path with his jaw dropped, eyes wide and holding onto my hand so tightly I wouldn't be suprised if my hand dropped off
'H-how did you... How did you do that?' he asked finally coming out of his daze and I shrug my shoulders and reply
'I have absolutely no idea but it was great wasn't it? We should probably go though.' I say tugging him by the hand towards the grass bank, he doesn't argue just walks with me to the grass, we were both soaking but we weren't dead so I don't think either of us cared that much about being drenched.
Atleast one twin isn't messing with my emotions...
A/N
Okay this is totally crappy and stuff, sorry x