BEFORE LEAVING FOR MARS, EACH MEMBER OF THE ARES 3 CREW SPENT TEN DAYS IN ISOLATION AS A TRAINING EXERCISE. UPON RELEASE, THEY WERE INTERVIEWED BY A NASA PSYCHOLOGIST.
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The first to be interviewed was Mark Watney.
He sat quietly in his chair, scanning the face of the man in front of him. He was of the first of the Ares III crew to be interviewed today, yet the interview still had not begun. The psychologist's attention remained solely on his papers, but every once in a while he would glance up at Mark, eliciting an expression of curiosity to fall upon the astronaut's face.
The room remained silent for several moments before the man—the NASA psychologist—finally spoke to Mark.
"I was hoping we could start with some insights into what you were thinking during your isolation," the man said.
Mark perked up immediately. "Sure, yeah. I can do better than that—I can tell you exactly what I was thinking. I feel like I got to some of the more important questions. Not the answers," he chuckled, "but definitely things that just kept me up at night."
"Go on," the man encouraged him.
"Uh," Mark started, leaning forward in his chair. "How come Aquaman can control whales? I mean, whales are mammals. It doesn't even make sense."
The man stared at Mark, unsure if the astronaut was being serious or not. Those who knew him, though, could confirm that Mark was in fact being deathly serious.
"I understand if you're gonna say 'Alright, well kids might not know whales are mammals, and if Aquaman needs a big fish the kids are gonna say, well, why didn't he call a whale?', and you're not gonna stop the show to explain to the kids that whales are mammals because a kid doesn't know that a whale is a fucking mammal," Watney continued. "So, y'know. But thanks for the ten days in there. It was pretty illuminating."
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The next to be interviewed was Pilot Rick Martinez.
"Let's talk about the exercise," the psychologist began. "So, ten days. . ."
"Ten nights," Martinez followed shortly.
"That's a long time for a man to be alone with himself."
"And what do you do when you're by yourself?" Martinez said. "Studying, of course, for my mission. Finding new ways, new techniques, to relieve the tension. I felt like I was fifteen again—left handed."
This was only his second interview, yet the psychologist appeared to already be over them. The expression on his face was more than enough confirmation for such an assumption.
"Y'know, sometimes I have movies inside my head. Lemme see what's on." Martinez paused momentarily before continuing with, "Good Fellas, alright. 'Hey, what's in the trunk? What's in the trunk?' Joe Pesci's amazing."
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The third interviewee was Maia Watney, younger sister to Mark Watney.
"So," the psychologist began, studying the dirty blonde sitting across from him. "You and Mark are going to be the first siblings together in space, not to mention, the first siblings to step foot on Mars together. How does that make you feel?"
Maia tilted her head at the man and narrowed her green eyes. "Y'know, it's come to my attention that there's no such thing as a chicken nugget up in the depths of space—at least not what I perceive to be a chicken nugget—and that thoroughly disenchants me."
The man raised his brows at the Watney sister, shocked to find that she and her brother were so alike in regards to their personality.
"I take it you're ecstatic about going into space with your brother, then?"
Maia rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, pulling her white robe over her chest. "The bastard threw me out of our living room window when I was eleven. I fell in a bush and had to get thirteen stitches in my leg, so yes—I'm fuckin' psyched about going into space with my brother, Don," she smiled sarcastically.
"Wait," Maia continued, her eyebrows pulling together in curiosity and slight amusement. "Your name—is it even Don? It doesn't even matter, because I'm just gonna call you Don anyway."
"Don" blinked, unsure of how to respond. Maia had left the psychologist absolutely speechless, which was quite the same effect her brother had had on him just an hour ago.
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The fourth crew member to interview was Commander Melissa Lewis.
"As the first female commander of an Ares mission, I was wondering if you feel any added pressure to the already-intense levels of responsibilities you're facing?"
Commander Lewis narrowed her eyes at the man and leaned forward in her chair. "You know from my file I graduated top of my class from the Naval Academy. Have you ever been in a submarine?"
The psychologist chuckled and opened his mouth to answer, but was not given the chance to as Commander Lewis had began speaking again.
"You try to sleep with the creaks and the grinding; it sounds like someone is slowly and violently crushing a soda can that you're inside of. I slept like a baby from day one, so no, I don't think the added pressure of being the first woman to command a mission to Mars is going to be too intense," she finished off, a stern expression on her face.
"Yeah," the psychologist said quietly, scribbling onto his notepad.
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Fifth was Alex Vogel.
"In terms of the mission, do you have any fears?"
Vogel chuckled and propped his head onto his hand. "No, I'm German. We don't. . .feel fear."
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Sixth was Dr. Chris Beck.
"So, Chris, do you have any fears in terms of the mission?" the man asked, recycling the same question he had used with Vogel.
Beck let out a breath. "That's a tough one. As a doctor you're accustomed to high-stress environments, matters of life and death on a daily basis. But yeah, I'm very confident we're gonna kick some Martian ass."
The psychologist looked down at the file on his desk and chuckled. "You're a doctor of what?"
Dr. Beck snickered and shifted in his chair. "Of the soul." The doctor laughed again and smiled brightly.
It was very clear to the psychologist that the isolation exercise had effected Chris more than his other crew-mates, so he elected not to continue with the interview.
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The last of the Ares III crew members to be interviewed was Beth Johanssen.
She sat in her chair with her feet pulled up. Her head was resting on the desk and her eyes were closed, indicating that she was asleep.
The psychologist snapped his fingers, jarring the sysop awake.
"What?" she said groggily.
"Give me the skinny on the crew," the psychologist instructed her, a smirk on his face.
Johanssen sat up slightly so she could look at him. "You mean, like, my personal thoughts?"
"Yeah."
"Okay," she replied, sitting up in her chair. "Mark is everyone's favorite. Martinez really thinks he's funny. Lewis is pretty badass. Maia is the female version of Mark, except she's less annoying. Beck is pretty cool sometimes, and he's also in love with Maia (don't tell anyone I told you that). And Vogel—Vogel is pretty laid back; he eats a lot of sausages."
The psychologist laughed. "He is German."
Johanssen only shrugged and yawned. "Can I go back to sleep now or what?"
"I guess."
"Okay," she said as she laid her head back down on the desk. "Just turn the light off when you head out, would ya?"
The psychologist did not respond to Johanssen. He only got up and left the room, switching the light off as the sysop had asked him to do; someone would find her later. He just couldn't help but feel relieved to finally be done with the interviews. All he could do now was wish the Ares III crew good luck on their journey to Mars.