"I'm not sure about this anymore."
Mynera sighed, paused what she was doing. She turned to Saenar, who was leaning against the wall, as far away from her as he could get. They were in her bedchambers, alone, while she packed. It was indecent for him to be here, especially since they were not husband and wife, but, considering the amount of indecent things they have done already, this was nothing. Still, Saenar insisted on keeping distance.
Right now, he was worrying his bottom lip, staring at the ground. When she turned, he fixed his brown eyes on her.
"We've talked about this, Saenar," Mynera sighed. "It's a good plan. The best one so far, and I recall that when she said it, you didn't sound so opposed to it."
"That was then," he insisted. When she sighed again and turned to continue packing, Saenar inched closer. "I wasn't thinking properly then. But now that I've gotten enough time, I don't think this is a good idea."
"And why is that?" Her voice was mild, merely humouring him. Saenar knew this but he still pressed on.
"Think about it, Mynera. This man has sent almost half his men out to look for you. He obviously isn't sane. I don't want you staying in the same castle as someone like him."
"I can –"
"Yes, yes," he snapped. "You can take care of yourself. But let me take care of you this time, Mynera. Please, I don't want you going there. We'll think of something else."
"We've already wasted too much time, Saenar. This is our best bet."
"Risking your life? This is tantamount to a suicide mission!"
"I would gladly risk my life if it means avenging my father!" Mynera whirled on him, eyes ablaze. Anger at the usuper had her stepping forward in wrathful strides. "I'm doing this, Saenar. I know you don't want me to and I know this is very risky but we have no other choice. It's either you're with me, or you're not."
"You know I'm with you, Mynera."
"Good." With a nod, she turned away. "We both lost people, Saener. You more than me but they're gone all the same. I plan to let him rue the day he messed with us."
Saenar was behind her in a second. He didn't care about indecency anymore, didn't care that they were being way too in appropriate. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. She stilled, enjoying the embrace. When her hand reached up to hold his, he sighed in contentment. I haven't felt this happy since Charmaline, he thought.
"What was that?"
Opening his eyes, Saenar blinked. "What was what?"
Mynera slipped out of his arms, showering him instantly with the cold of rejection. Her eyes were alight with hurt and just a hint of anger. "You ... you dare to mention her name to me?"
Darn.
"I ... I hadn't notice I said that aloud."
"Well, you did." Mynera stepped farther away. Saenar resisted the urge to grab her and haul her back. How could he have said his thoughts aloud? So far, they've been doing really well ignoring the ginger haired girl that laid between them. Charmaline was like a ghost, following them around but they paid it no mind. The ghost had been fading, drifting away in light of their happiness. He just brought the ghost back.
"I'm sorry, Mynera," he said instantly. He stepped forward and she stepped back. "It was just a slip of the tongue."
"You were thinking about her." The words were harsh, a slap in the face. A slap into reality. He had been thinking about her.
"It's not what you think..."
"What was I thinking? How could I actually think you were over her? The girl who were this close to giving up the throne for. How foolish could I have been?"
"No, Mynera, no." He swooped in, desperate for her to look at him, for her to see the sincerity in his face. Some part of him always wondered if he still loved Charmaline, some part of him thought he did. But now, he knew Mynera was the only one in his heart and he had to let her see that. "No, Mynera, you're the only one. Please, you have to believe me."
"Believe that if she was still here, I wouldn't be in the picture? Face it, Saenar." Mynera wrenched herself out of his arms. Betrayal and hurt settled in the pit of her stomach. She thought, she hoped, he was over her, over the ghost that drifted over their heads. She foolish for thinking it. "You still love her."
"I don't!"
"Then why are you thinking about her?" she exclaimed. She stepped back again, when he stepped forward. "Why do you always mention her without realizing it? Why when you're with me, you're so reserved, yet you didn't hesitate to attack Charmaline's face with your father in the camp nearby?"
"Mynera, please..." Her heart broke at the pain in his voice but she could look at him. After all this time trying to ignore it, she couldn't anymore. Charmaline was his first and only love. Mynera was a rebound. It pained her but it was the only thing that felt like the truth through the all the rejection she felt.
"Mynera, please don't do this," he begged. She looked away at the raw emotion thick in his voice. "Please don't leave like this. I don't love her anymore, Mynera. Please you have to believe me."
She wanted to. It took everything in her not to run into his arms and never let go. But she didn't want to be made a fool either and she wasn't privy to having her heart broken more than once. Her head ducked as she skirted around him, making her way back to her luggage.
"I think you should leave," she whispered.
"Mynera..."
"Leave!"
She didn't look up when silence descended on them. She just stood there, frozen, waiting for him to leave the room. It took a while, her staring at her things, him staring at her. Then, he left and she sank to the ground. She didn't cry, but her heart did.
**
Saenar stood outside Mynera's door, his back resting against it. He waited to hear the tears, the heavy sobbing he was sure she was holding back. He was eager for it, for anything that would allow him to run back inside but they never came. No sobs, no sound. It made him sink to the ground, just sitting there.
Charmaline was dead. He had been telling himself that every second of the day. She was dead, but he couldn't move on. That memory of her was what held him back from the feisty brunette inside. The memory of his first love, gone so soon, was what stilled his hand whenever they itched to hold Mynera, or whenever his eyes burned to seek her.
That memory of her had to go. Mynera wasn't just a rebound. He never felt anything like this, not even with Charmaline, and he wasn't about to let it go. He waited too long to make his move, to let her know he loved her just as she loved him. While the words remained unsaid between them, the feeling was there and that was what mattered. He wasn't going to let it slip out his fingers. The happiness they've felt these past few days was happiness he was not about to let go.
Not for his dead lover.
**
Four months later
The crown was heavy on his head but he didn't mind it. He loved it. It resembled all the power he held and he always basked in the glow. Now, King Gavin was just annoyed by it.
"What do you want?" he asked, sighing with irritation. The hardness of the throne was beginning to make him uncomfortable. "Get to the point, peasant. I have others waiting."
The man before him bowed again, nervously. His hands kept wringing themselves together. "I ask for assistance guarding the fields, Your Majesty. Lord Femil is not listening to our pleas."
"If the lord isn't listening to you, why should I?"
The man looked shocked at the question. Word of the king's harshness had spread all the way to Dement. "B-because, Your Majesty. You are the king."
King Gavin rolled his head around, stretching the kinks from his neck. After a while of just staring at the man, reducing him to shakes, he flipped his hand. "You're granted three guards. Make due with that."
"But, Your Majesty –!"
"Leave my presence. I've grown bored of you." As soon as that was said, the king's guards grabbed the man by both hands. They hauled him out like he was a sack of grains. King Gavin watched the exit then groaned silently. He turned to Garkun, who stood from his post beside the throne. "Tell the others to leave. I will not be taking anymore complaints."
"Yes, Your Majesty." Garkun only nodded at a nearby guard who ran off to inform the town crier.
"This is the worst thing about being king," King Gavin sighed. He rose, took the heavy crown off his head. It was gold, tiny spires decorating the very top, and tiny rubies decorating the bottom. He placed it on the crown pillow, before a servant scurried off with it. He only ever wore it when he was receiving complaints or accepting a lord into his castle. He had many of both lately. "I can't stand listening to those peasants and their infernal complaining. They should be happy their even alive."
Garkun didn't answer, never answered. He walked silently behind the man who made him rich, without uttering a word against him. The king continued to rant, pacing the halls of the throne room. Garkun paced behind him for a while before he just stopped and watch the mad king go even crazier.
A guard ran up to him. He leaned closer, listening to the whisper in his ear. "Your Majesty," he called when the guard ran off.
"What?" King Gavin snapped.
Garkun didn't flinch. "It seems ya have a visitor."
"Didn't you hear me the first time? I don't want to see anyone!"
"It's Lady Mynera, Your Majesty."
King Gavin froze. He looked at Garkun, to judge the truth in his words, but Garkun's gruff features gave nothing away. "What did you just say?"
"Lady Mynera 'as arrived at the castle, Your Majesty. Should I 'ave her brought to the throne room?"
"Of course!" Giddy, he grinned. "Now! Right this instant. Bring me my crown!"
The servant was quick to appear with the crown pillow in hand. King Gavin's smile stretched even wider as he picked up the crown and placed it on his head. Garkun motioned to a guard who ran off to did as he was told.
She's finally here, King Gavin thought, as he watched the doors open slowly. She's finally mine.
She was more beautiful than he remembered. Her presence was luminous, her eyes so beautiful he felt he could drown in them from the distance. King Gavin watched her approach, ignoring the guard standing behind her in shackles. Her pale blue dress dragged across the ground behind her as she walked, her back rim rod straight. Her hair was elegantly styled, some pinned behind her hair, the rest of it let loose. When she was before the throne, she curtsied, low and long.
King Gavin's smirk stretched even wider. "Lady Mynera. You don't know how much I've long for this day."
Mynera looked up at him, her face vacant. "Your Majesty," she said in greeting.
King Gavin couldn't contain his excitement any longer. He sprang out of his chair, ran to stand before her. "You are more beautiful than I remembered."
"Thank you, Your Majesty. It is an honour to be here." She curtsied again, not because she had to but because she didn't want to look at his face.
"Tell me, my lady. What brings you to the castle? I've been searching for you for months and you managed to dodge me time and time again."
"That is just it, Your Majesty." Her voice was soothing to his ears. He couldn't stop smiling. "I've grown weary of running. As a lady, I do not belong on my own, but in a castle, where servants are there to tend to me."
"Fear not, my fair lady. You will have hundreds of servants to tend to your every need."
"Thank you, Your Majesty."
King Gavin couldn't bear it any longer. He had to touch her. He reached out and grabbed her hand. He missed the fury that leapt into her eyes. "Come, my lady. I have already picked out your bedchambers for you. You must be tired. You can rest up before we sup."
"Just a moment, Your Majesty." She tugged on her hand, skillfully slipping it out of his grasp. "I would like to ask a favour."
"Yes, whatever it may be. Yes."
"You have not heard the favour as yet, Your Majesty."
"I don't care, what is it?"
"I ask that you grant this man a room in your home and position as my personal guard."
Finally, King Gavin acknowledged Barron. His eyes ran over the man in the tattered red armor in distaste. "Is this not the man who committed treason?" he asked Garkun.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"'Tis a misunderstanding, Your Majesty," Mynera interjected quickly. "He has been on my tail since I escaped him and he has treated me well on the travel back to the castle. I would feel much more comfortable if he were my personal guard. Please, Your Majesty."
"Whatever you want, my lady." He smiled again, all of Barron's grievances forgotten. "Unchain the man!" he commanded.
"Yes, Your Majesty." A guard came up to take the shackles off Barron's hands and feet.
King Gavin held his arm out to Mynera. "Come, my lady. Let me escort you to your chambers."
Mynera stared at it, resisting the urge to throw him over her shoulder. She slipped her arm through his and allowed him to lead the way.