Seconds ticked by. Minutes seemed to stretch out endlessly. Currently, I was on the floor, reading a book while my parents and grandma were playing cards on the coffee table in the living room. It seems as if my grandma was winning, followed by my mom, which got my dad a bit angry and annoyed. I smiled to myself and continued on reading.
"Sweetie, want to play with us?" my grandma called while motioning to go over. I thought for a bit before surrendering to her. I walked over and seated myself next to my dad. My mom gave me my cards and we started to play.
We were almost finished with a game when a knock interrupted us. My mom's face showed surprise and disappointment, which I suspected that it was because she was almost going to win again. I grinned at her and she giggled. My dad went over to answer the door to return with Ash, while talking animatedly to him. My grin was definitely gone when I saw Ash. I just looked down at my cards the whole time after that, which mom picked up at.
"Come Ash. Sit down with us. We were just going to finish a game," dad told him, and I just cringed at realizing that I would have to talk to him because my parents didn't know what had happened between us. I slumped forward, and covered my face with my hair that had fallen out of my braid. I had to make it seem all natural, which I sucked at.
Ash sat down and my parents instantly picked up on what had happened. One, I had not said a word at him the whole time he was there. Two, he had not said a word to me either. Three, he had not hugged per as per usual. Four, he sat between my dad and grandma, instead of next to me. I could go on and on with the list and never end.
They stared between him and me, and awkwardness settled into the previous joyous atmosphere we had had. I kept on feeling smaller and smaller as time went on. I could physically feel myself curve unto itself as my family stared at us. Ash wasn't any better. He had his eyes casted down at his clenched hands, and his knuckles were white with how strong he was clenching his hands in his lap.
"Why don't we just go start dinner, mom?" my mom told my grandma and off they went in to the kitchen. Lucky them.
"I-I'll just go out to the shed and fix the tractor so that I can cut the yard tomorrow!" my dad said while smiling really big and forced, and off he went. How I wish the ground could just swallow me whole right now.
There was silence between us. I kept fiddling with my hands and started to pick at a loose thread I had on my shorts. I was starting to think that coming here for the summer was a big mistake. A very big mistake. If only things weren't what they were right now.
"I'm sorry," Ash whispered softly.
It hurt me to hear his voice so small. He was a guy who had confidence, but was not cocky. He had the height and looks, but was the gentlest. A gentle giant my grandpa would call him.
"I'm sorry for causing this rift between us. I'm sorry for blaming you for something you never did. I'm sorry for making you cry. God! I hate myself for making you cry. The one thing that I promised not to do and I had to just do it!"
I could only just stare wide-eyed at him. The last statement brought in unwanted curiosity. What else do I not know of this boy?
Ash probably misunderstood my reaction because he suddenly got up and left. Stunned, I could only just look at the door while sitting there. What had just happened?
I stood up and went after him. Ironic, huh. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Whatever. I ran out to the patio and looked around to see where he went. The sound of the back gate door being closed caught my ears and I ran to the back. Dad just pointed the way in which Ash went and I followed.
I ran and I saw his shadow a few feet in front of me. I was faintly aware of my surroundings as I went after him, but I could tell that Ash was going to grandpa's garage. I sped up. Ash was not going to get himself out of this one as quick.
He went inside and I followed suit. The lights were on and I could hear his panting. I was trying to get my breathing under control, but you could still hear my pants. Okay, I was not as fit as I thought. I slowly approached him, but he gave no intentions of running away so I just got closer to him.
I stared at him, silently thinking of a way to ask him why. Or what, to be specific. It seemed as if he could read my mind because he just sighed and looked away. He took a deep breath and looked back at me. His gray eyes bored into mine. No matter how much I tried to look away, I just couldn't. It felt as if being under a spell.
He came closer, while still looking at me, and I took a step back. That didn't deter him though. He just kept on coming closer until my back met the wall and I nowhere to go. He put both hands by my head, caging me with his arms as he came even closer.
I could only just stare at him as he came closer. I could see now the detail of his gray eyes, and I found that his gray eyes also had a hint of dark blue to them. The murky gray that I thought of his eyes were because of the dark blue tones in them. Ash kept on staring at me, but he stopped coming closer. His lips were centimeters away from mine.
"You want to know why, don't you?" he asked. He didn't wait for an answer though because he kept on talking.
"I've lived here for so long. The only thing that kept me here was you, aside from your grandparents. My parents adopted me when I was a month old because my biological parents left me at the doorstep of the orphanage when I was a few days old. As much as I love them, they are rarely home now. To each their own, I guess, but I wasn't going to let that affect me. When I met you, my whole world changed. You would take me for dinner with your family because you wanted to be with me for as much time possible. Your parents saw me as one of their own and I was happy. No, I still am."
"As we grew up, I started to have feelings for you. I saw you differently, but my feelings didn't change any time soon. Then, you suddenly just disappeared for years and your grandpa offered me to help him. Every time we would work on the truck, I would only see you in everything that we did. Your grandpa would always talk about you and how you made his world a lot better every time he would visit. Those moments just made me miss you more."
I was amazed, stunned even. I never knew about his parents and I had never asked before. Yes, I knew he helped my grandpa in the garage because grandpa would always mention him when he would visit us. Honestly, in those years that I didn't see him, he never really crossed my mind. Every once in a while I would think of him, but that was it. On the other hand, Ash would always think of me. He missed me.
At my realization I instantly felt guilty. It was never his fault. No, it was mine. That's why he kept me at bay that morning. I was being inconsiderate of his feelings by just hugging him whenever.
"I'm sorry," I murmured.
"All this time it was my fault, and I was blaming you. I'm so sorry Ash," I whispered. Thinking back, all of what we went through in the past couple of days was because of me.
All of the guilt and the emotions I was feeling were all mixing together. I felt my eyes start to tear up and my lower lip started to tremble. My hands came up to the edge of his shirt and I grabbed on. I looked down because I could no longer keep my front up and the first of my tears came out.
Ash lowered his arms from where they were, and I was sure that he would no longer want anything to do with me anymore. However, he put his arms around me and hugged me closer to his body. I buried my face on his chest and cried. His arms tightened around me and I only cried harder.
"It's okay, love," Ash whispered back. He was rubbing circles unto my back as he tried to calm me down. The trembling in me ceased, and I was left with soft hiccups from crying.
"I love you," he whispered against my ear. "Never forget that."
I looked up at Ash, and he had the brightest smile on his face. Not a grin or a smirk, but a smile. A smile I had only ever seen when I was younger. One I hoped to see more in the future.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi guys! I'm so sorry for not uploading sooner. Every time I say that I'll try to update more regularly, I end up putting the writing off. Sometimes I even wonder why I even continue with this story.... Well hope you like this chapter! I made it a bit longer than the other chapters, so hopefully it will make up for what I do to you guys. Enjoy~