Most days I just want to quit to just cease this worthless side to myself. Others I just feel elated that I ever began. My emotions are so mixed and it's never a good thing, but I'm always unsure whether I should've ever began seeing as now I'm this far in and I can't escape even though I've wanted to since day 2.
Is it worth the heartache of never being acknowledged? Is it worth the countless hours of trying to find the right verse to put down? Could I have chosen another path than this one presented to me thus far? I honestly don't know.
If a gun against my temple would cease the stress I feel on a daily then I would've done it so long ago. And honestly I don't know if it's worth continuing if all I get is more stress and far less acceptance.
Who would seriously choose writing as a craft? Well obviously someone with a knack for making others become immersed in their words that they present. But is that all? Heck I know people who enjoy mockbuster films and D class films because they are immersed in the story presented, but is that enough?
Anyone can write honestly...it's not like it's a hidden talent or anything. A child can write and get praised, so why would teens and grown adults continue this trend and lay claim to this as if it's some precious jewel? It's not last time I checked.
And if you assume that popularity is given out to the best works because of their excellence in presentation and word play, then why do Frog and Toad still have awards up the wazoo? Popularity isn't about word play it's about knowing what sells and what doesn't. I know tons of people who would sell their artistic souls just for a piece of popularity. But is that enough?
Why can't we all just be individuals and do what we want to do? I understand some people like to write the popular subjects just because that's their passion, and I'm fine with that. But don't immerse yourself into the popular sections just because you want some fleeting stance with an audience, that honestly won't give a crap about you if you're doing it only for the popularity.
They're smart. They're dedicated and have seen so many attempt to ride the coat tails of others. Do you think you can fool them for long? Because I hope not, they know the difference between those who love their works and those who do it just for selfish reasons.
And I know you're wondering how that is right? It's easy turn on a television, read an article, or check the internet and you'll see many writers who have the chance at interviews. Watch several different ones and compare the level of knowledge and enthusiasm for their work.
Most writers honestly enjoy what they've created, but there are a few that you can tell are just in it for selfish reasons. Not saying that they are wrong, but I can assure you whether their overall piece sails or fails they won't be affected since they'll always have a nice paycheck at the end of the day.
So take that into consideration that one day you'll have to choose, what's best for you. Will you choose to follow what you love whether others love it or not, or will you do otherwise? Because whatever you choose just remember this, was it worth it?