||Sour||—Warning brought to you by Steve Rogers: 'Language!'
Epigraph: Campout MCU style. What could possibly go right.
"So what's the plan Stan?" Cobie belted out another corny catchphrase as she set away her last bag; a glittery silver VS tote, atop the 'caca' khaki duffles that were the impending icon of the 'infamous' cast's bland tastes.
"Well the drive takes nine hours. I'll do one and sleep the remaining while you drive the rest."
Cobie pursed lips that were heavy with plum plumping gloss. "Do you hear that?" she said inquisitively, before the corners of her mouth fell straight. "That's me not laughing."
"Everyone got everything?" As ever Johansson took over the role of mother hen, making sure all her chicks were in their proper pecking order. At the moment however most were otherwise occupied; calling out the names of their hopeful tent mates.
"I'm bunking with Liz!" Cobie announced proudly. The twin Elizabeth; last to leave the flat, circled a pivot to reply after having locked the pad door.
"Oh yeah about that..." she stammered. "Aaron decided to join last minute and specifically asked to share a tent with me. I said sure. Sorry."
Again Cobie's signature smile donned disdain. "What the fuck Olsen! I thought we were friends?"
Liz shook her head, stuffing down her sheepish guilt towards the more extroverted female. "Not today Cross."
"I hate you."
"You love me."
The proud papa of the group strode into the sticky wicket, removing his shades with excess swag. "Les-bi-honest, you two are crushing it hard." cooed the Robert Downey of Jr. Cobie shot a look at the man she really did wish was her father.
"The hell we're not, that woman ditched me as fast as Pietro got gunned."
Such of course was said at the very moment Russia with Love waltzed in on a cycle and five extra sacks that next to the packed car boot appeared to be ten. "Allow me to go mend my bleeding heart." Johnson whined.
Identifying her mobile buddies Cobie asked, "Who am I going to buddy with?"
Chris Evans; who claimed shotgun was the first to offer a solution. He knew his recommendation would come as being very appealing to the charted instincts of the Welsh lass. "Well Mackie had to pull out last minute– daddy duties, so you could always find your place with Seb. I mean I know sleeping with him isn't in anyone's best interest but..."
Sliding out the belt to strap herself in, Cobie looked to her left, once safely secured she glanced upwards to see that the Romanian disaster had taken residence beside the window seat she'd failed to entitle herself. "Indeed," she mused, replying to Chris. "what a tragedy." Sebastian shook his head at the both of them but proceeded to grimace oddly at a queer action the woman right of him had just achieved.
"Did you just backwash into your water?" he asked. She nodded shamelessly replying, "It's the only way I know no one will drink it." And so such was duly noted.
"Okay Iron's children," Robert hopped in the drivers seat, revving up the engine with thorough enjoyment. "we're off to the races!"
"Actually we're going to Acadia. If you want horses you'll have to head to Assateage in Maryland." Jeremy Renner; Cobie's partner to the right, was the convict of this comment.
"I'll Assateage you Legosass." Downey quipped. He pulled out first from the garage, followed by Scarlett's Civic hat held the rest of the gang. Robert asked for everyone's eyes seeing as how the third row was brimming with the crew's luggage; giving the Honda MDX yet another blind spot. Yet even with the hawk himself, they still managed to get off on the wrong wheel.
"Um... was that our car that just hit the curb?" asked Cobie. As if on cue, everyone, including the compadres who hadn't been in reverse, pulled a gobsmacked expression.
"No..." The formerly enthusiastic chaperone was not hasty to answer. "but it hit that truck behind us." At this Chris rolled down his window to take a glance behind.
"For real Downey! That was my rental!" After having already suffered the theft of his iPod shuffle; who's playlist was bumped loud as a morning alarm for all to hear, Chris' run was clearly off to a bad start. "Okay this is an omen. A bad one."
"For what?" Stan asked, he argued that the best way to mask mirth was to speak. Even still, the smol bean was hiding his grin terribly and concern could be found nowhere in his bright baby blues.
Chris threw his neck back into the head rest groaning, "A comedy of fucking errors."
➖➖➖
Well for once fines and civil war had to be postponed and the debris of the collision was left behind to be dealt with another time. Cobie; now up in front with Seb at the wheel, had been for the majority of the ride unusually quiet. Then the urge hit.
"I need to throw something out the window." she said. Sebastian put on the cruise control. "Yourself?"
Cobie's responsive expression was a sour concoction of puréed pricelessness and a pound of basic bitch face. "My gum suicide squad." she said and proceeded to spit such out into her hand.
Then– splat... there went the sticky substance onto the glass. The gag was just so funny that sea bass didn't even laugh nor crack a smile. First rule of car discarding: you wait until the window is completely rolled down.
"Good job Cobes, good job." he praised with scorn. All the former could do was blush and with an impish grin sink a little bit lower into her passenger's seat.
Around ten minutes later, the taffy turned to check back on the citizens of the second row. She giggled at the sight of Downey, who had graciously freed her Doberman from its kennel confine and who; along with Jeremy and Chris, now lay sleeping across the three men's laps.
"I just want to appreciate the fact that out of all the avengers you chose to name your canine Tony Bark. It just makes me feel so loved." crooned Robert as his hands carded through slick black fur.
"I just want to point out the fact that out of all the avengers I named my dog after Tony Stank-y. A dog." Cobie quipped.
"You know you have an arc reactor of a heart right?"
"How is she not your daughter!" Chris teased, but gold titanium alloy man actually agreed with Mr. America. "How is she not! I should seriously consider adopting you Cobie."
"Look I already played an Aria Stark. [Maise Williams is my face-claim okay now silence] And too late, Raevyn Barton already took me under her wing."
"So you are Seb's favourite GoT character." a perky voice exclaimed. "I knew it." Sebastian shot them a look by way of the rearview mirror.
"Shut up Evans." he warned, but Chris in turn only wiggled his brows.
Downey sought to grasp the attention of Cross once more. "Okay A, What is Raven? And B,-"
"Barton who?" Jeremy saw fit to join in on the conversation. This made Rob rolled his eyes, in a very Stark-esqe way. "Uh, interruption. How very Clint of you."
➖➖➖
"All the restaurants are closed." It was 10:43 and Robert had again taken his second turn up front beside the Hawkeye that was busy browsing his blackberry for Hannaford's hours of operation.
Cobie; who's legs were as cramped and numb as Bucky in the cryostat, had grown tired of her lack of substantial sustenance. Somehow every member of an entire film cast had forgotten to pack munchies.
"Well fuck nuggets! And we passed how many McDonalds on the way here?" she growled, putting on a grumpy cat pout. The only thing she wasn't complaining about was the fact that Steve G. Rogers and James B. Barnes were using her shoulders as pillows.
"Someone invite Deadpool?"
Unable to find a drive-in that even served discounted desert scraps, they all agreed to stop in an almost barren lot and eat deli takeaway dinners, purchased from inside, out the boot tailgate style. When hungers were satiated, the cast then went back into the store; some for a break at the loo and others to give their limbs an overdue stretch. The parties had mixed and mingled, deciding to swap.
Unbeknownst to Cross, even when he was provided with the opportunity to ride out the rest of the trip in a roomier vehicle Stan chose to stay put with his 'munch-in-kin'. She was the only one he shared his secret snack stash with and now he and her were browsing by the sterile aisles aimlessly.
"Ooh look!" Cobie suddenly squealed. "A winter soldier Funko!" She scuffled over to the section where was home to the extensive assortment of MARVEL merchandise. "I'm getting one." she said with finality.
Though he was truly flattered within Sebastian said, "Really Cobie?" He wanted to replace her name with doll but opted to not go down the patronising path of pet names.
"Yes really Sebby." she snapped. "It is my consolation prize for having to eat Walmart macaroni salad for dinner and a shit sandwich that was three fourths bread with only one effing jalapeño pepper and a single popped open packet of man from hell mus-turd!"
"Hellmann's." he corrected.
"Please." Cobie held high her palm. "Hey and maybe while I'm at it I'll get a Captain America pillow too" She snatched one from off of the shelf. "so I can kiss Chris' face all night long. With sound effects!"
Capsicle's head popped over from the other aisle. "Please do!" he chirped. But boo bear appeared to disagree, with almost a sense of adamancy.
"That won't be necessary."
This all occurred around 11:04pm. When they finally arrived to fulfil their reservations at the KOA camp, the little hand was on the 12 with the big one nestled between the 10 and 11. It was pitch black and the blood-sucking bugs were buzzing; attracted to the lingering smoke of diminished camp fires. Those who maintained a habit of comparison pardoned themselves to the designated area, and even those who refrained were tempted.
With no working torches or headlamps a string of mishaps ensued.
"Where is the dog?"
"I don't know I don't see him."
"He just took a dump on the RV property."
"Get him on a leash!"
"I can't find it!"
Any fans that resided in close proximity; aroused by the thunderous voice of the god of Hemsworth that cried in frustration for failing to find his toothbrush amidst the chaos, were by now certainly scared off and would not be asking for any autotrophs anytime soon. Asides from maybe Buchanan the boo bean.
➖➖➖
Morning came much too soon for the tired souls, as the sun's bright rays showcased their horrid handiwork for all fellow campers to see. It was definitely going to make a tabloid cover photo if anyone ever connected the faces with fame and took a grainy snapshot as if in espionage.
Considering the quarters were built in complete blindness it was lucky some even had a roof besides the tree canopy over their head. Their set ups were a disheveled mess of bent poles and flapping floppy fabric but now that dawn had broken they would get around to each fixing his own abode.
Cobie hit the red end call button, exiting her triangular hut of burgundy cloth to find her fit and famous friends eating packaged 'brain hijacking' oatmeal in their blue plastic bowls and flexible forks that belonged in the rubbish bin.
"Who was that you were talkin' to?" Tom spiderling questioned, slurping down his last bit of artificial banana & strawberry cream.
"Oh just my neighbour telling me that my cat died last night."
"Aw Cobie I'm so sorry." Johansson lamented, she knew how much kitty Hiddleston meant to the taffy. Scarlett put down her plate of leftover berry salad to go embrace Cross; who returned the gesture awkwardly given she was taken aback. Having the woman who made you question your formerly straight sexuality was– as expected, slightly unnerving.
"Meh it's fine," Cobie assured the redhead. "things die."
*cue hawkward cricket chirps and whistling tumbleweed*
There was an ungainly strain of silence that the heartless lass went completely oblivious to as she served herself, picking out her packet of peachy keenly oats. All eyes had fallen on the Glamorgan girl then to the closest pair of orbs that churned with equal shock beside them.
"Well aren't you a caring cookie." Chris commented, his words tainted with the chewing of his mouth's contents.
"Ya know sometimes I think you are actually a psychopath." Elizabeth was abnormally quick to add her two pence.
"High functioning sociopath," Cobes quoted. "with your number."
By now everyone agreed that indeed, Cobie Artemis Cross had some serious sympathy issues. "Damn Cobes you are cruel."
"сука." Unfortunately for Aaron TJ, his victim of verbal assault understood Russian.
"Never call a bitch a bitch." she chided. "Us bitches hate that." Out of the corner of her eye Cross caught a certain someone pull a face palm followed by a string of moans.
"Oh my god Cobie, you did not just quote Political Animals." said Seb through his hands that shook in sync with his head and luscious locks.
A cocky air encircled her countenance. "Indeed I did."
➖➖➖
It seemed that wherever the Avengers and company resided there was misfortune right along with them. To list some data that proves this theory: Their site locations were of course the secluded lots farthest away from the restrooms, set within the no outlet zone meaning no power for their precious dying phones and even for those who brought portable ones were still just out of wonderful WiFi's way.
When they got around to their first scenic trail blaze; where professional photography assignments fell on CC, she was to find that in her haste back at the house she had snatched a used SD card. One that was so secure in fact that the full memory could not be erased to make room for the picturesque sights she would now never see on the collage that was her bedroom wall.
I'd be shamed if I failed to mention the black gel pen. You know the one that sat out in the hot sun too long and that Cobie Cross foolishly picked up to jot down some quick directions and a short grocery list that literally exploded in her face and on her last fresh– white t-shirt? Yeah that one. Thanks to the stupidity of humans detergent was not added to the equation back in the days of planning so therefore laundry wasn't able to happen.
Several critical items were forgotten, like the sticky evening it was found that, "We brought no bug spray? How in hell!" Or "Guys we need to run out and get a razor and shaving cream." Why did the Welsh woman ask this? Well because, "I forgot to shave my pits before we left."
She was answered with an, "It's okay you're European."
"I'm Welsh not French, get it right Mr. Constanta."
At one point when attempting to tan on the rocks at thunder hole; a destination requested by Thor, a certain Boston boy made a slick statement saying, "That looks like a good little make out pool! Cobes, you and sexy sea bass should come take a dip here sometime. I know you've been dying to run your hands through that head 'a hair of his." It was obvious to both Wales and Romania what America was trying to achieve, but neither made any mention to the other. Cobie just chortled a "Don't tempt me." Whilst vanilla ice laughed it off coolly.
On top of being an object of matchmaking the brunette was constantly being chastised for purchasing servings of vanilie bean cream for Tony Bark. According to her, he was just as deserving as everybody else and her fellow pet owners said the same.
Later that same day Chris gave his remark, he received some painful payback that was bound to come his way when he was roasting an economy inflated mallow of marsh and got bit by a fire ant in the ass; which may or may not have been placed behind his rear by courtesy of Mr. Paul Rudd.
Then there was the innumerable incidents of camp cooking postponement. When there was wood– "We have no matches." When there were matches– "We have no charcoal." When there was charcoal. "The wood is wet." When the wood wasn't wet– "No one feels like cooking let's go out."
A favourite hotspot was Mainely meat BBQ. It was a quaint cabin pit, located across from the Pirates Cove miniature golf course and adjoined to the Udder Heaven creamery; that due to its products high fat content, lactose Cross could not revel in like the rest.
Whilst chowing her corn bread at a table with the small Paul, Boseman, Holland, Hemsworth and Stan; the rest located in another area of the establishment, Cobie went to take a gulp from her tall glass of water. Seeing it was empty she opted to take hold of the two litre pitcher and guzzle a swig from there. Lost in the bliss of its refreshing kiss to her 100 celsius hands her fingers slipped and pints of iced aqua went rushing down to soak Sebastian's crotch. He couldn't even swear in Romanian, the spill was such a shock all his mouth could do was form an 'O'.
This was all witnessed by their waiter; who the cast could have sworn looked familiar, who proceeded to laugh, offer napkins and go obtain another pitcher. This all happened so fast and ensued such hysteric giggles that Boseman choked on his coffee and jolted against the table. So... there went the panther's hot brew down the chest of Cross. Not only did it burn like hell it no doubt shrunk Cobie's bra size to a B. "CHADWICK!"
When told about the occurrence; via Underoos who sent a text to the other tables, Evans of course refused to believe that the actions were not intential. The Chris from down under; who sat across from Cobes and Seb very much enjoyed the entertainment. So much so he couldn't help but call over his own waitress, who happened to somehow be Kat Dennings, and let slip "Another." motioning to an empty carton. If he was to watch sex on the booth he would have his box of blueberry poptarts.
Entering the loo that had no lock, working faucet or toilet paper, Cobie spiffed up as best she could. The shirt was soaked through and beyond repair. Passing by her table to pick up the tab she then adjourned to the hot car. Taking with her a styrofoam cup of ice water for her pooch; one she would not spill this time. Looking to the receipt she read the name of their waiter. Sure enough, just as she thought; the cheeky bastard's name was indeed Stanley.
➖➖➖
By the end of the third day all of team Iron Man were moaning for a motel room. Whenever a freedom fighter made an attempt to talk them out of it they claimed, "Sleeping on carpets infused with cat piss is better than this." At least they admitted the optional facilities were still dumps.
In short half the group gave up and was gone. Mackie would have re-joined but after hearing of the troubles he decided to stick with his luck of eluding a faulty mission in fun.
Standing outside the line of showers stalls; finished with his, Sebastian knocked on one of the doors, his towel draped over his arm. "You want me to wait for you?" he offered to the female inside. It was getting dark and the walk back to camp from the wash rooms were a good half mile from the tent sites.
"I will enjoy my 30 minute shower thank you and will not be rush– AH THATS COLD!" Due to shortages and varied usage, shower temperatures were always fluctuating. It could go from liquid ice to scalding in a matter of seconds. Cobie was a prime target of these changes.
"Suit yourself." So Stan walked back alone, leaving Cross behind.
It was when he had just scooted into his sleeping sac, ready to call it a night, that the woman stumbled into his tent with nothing but a cropped sports top and maroon sweatpants. He didn't know what to say so he waited for her to shoot first.
Cobie took several deep, impatient, breaths before opening her mouth to speak. She appeared to be retaining a whirlwind that could unleash at any given moment. One could say she was on the verge of tapping into her winter soldier mode.
"You know that shampoo bottle you gave me?"
"Yeah?"
"IT WAS FUCKING BODY WASH!"
Only after nearly jumping out of his pants did Sebastian register the silhouette of Cobie's head. Her auburn tendrils were frayed, poking out in every which way as if she had been waterboarded by the Russians then zapped with a high voltage generator 20 times.
"And you know what else?"
"Wha- what?"
"Well first I had a row with a mosquito in my stall. Then I broke my only pair of sandals so I had to stand barefoot which was revolting because the drain was clogged with pubic hair. Then someone walked in on me not only making me slip mind you but ran off leaving the door open for more parasites to assail my vulnerable self. My bottle of untouched hairspray somehow spilled all over. I forgot both a towel and a shirt so I had to walk back here, alone– in the dark– in the rain– and into a tree with just a bra and gym bottoms!"
"Hey, I offered my help and to wait. You didn't bite."
Cobie; still fuming, shot him daggers. His I-told-you-so wasn't helping. Sebastian picked up a nearby clothing article.
"Do you want to borrow my sweatshirt-"
"Yes!" She grabbed it, as quick and greedily as a cat with one life. She made sure to turn her back to him before bringing the cotton up to her nose so that she could inhale the sweet intoxicating scent that was his signature musk of sexiness. It would seem that the crows outside were somehow watching her as they began to call out in gawking screeches.
"Caw caw yourself!" she bellowed. "Renner can you kill some of your kinsmen?"
A nearby child then commenced to scream. "Shut your kid up!"
Cobie pulled the hoodie over her ears and mewled. "This is too in-tense." She peeked below the hem's border to sneak a peep at Seb and see if he had gotten her gag.
"Your puns are painfully pitiful." he groused.
"So are your alliterations asshat."
Sebastian than decided to play empêchement; the girl was in desperate need of a different tune.
"Say why don't we take a drive up Cadillac mountain? I'm sure there are some constellations we could see and I doubt many people are up there right now."
Cross readily agreed. And so they slipped out, just the two, for a rendezvous under the star studded sky.
➖➖➖
"I have to pee."
"For Jarvis' sake girl you're fucking Niagara falls! Be a Hoover dam for once."
"But I can't, I gotta wee wee."
"You're a terrible child."
"And you're a bad father! When you're kids have to go what are you going to tell them– 'oh sorry you should've gone before we left'?"
"Uh yes!"
Though the ride consisted of open windows, wholehearted laughter and lip syncing Sia, the strong wind that churned at the mountain's peak prohibited any romance to commence. The thrill of standing on a sheer cliff fall's edge when a gust hit her back was worth it to Cobie however. Soon, whilst everyone lay snoozing, Constanta and Cardiff were back beneath their shared shelter.
At the entrance Seb stood musing to himself; something along the lines of 'keep it together man'. He was awaiting the woman who'd had to burrow through a dozen bags in search of iVan the iPad, but unfortunately for him, Cobes was still listening.
"What was that?" she inquired perkily.
"Oh just thinking out loud."
Sebastian suppressed a smile as he watched Cobie's aura alight, seeing the lyrics of her favourite song rise in her throat before she belted out in full on Ed Sheeran, "peeople fall in love in mysteerious ways!" Asides from shushing her, this made Mr. Disaster laugh.
Then shit happened. Again.
"Oh for thinking out loud!" Cobie cried.
"Oh what now?!"
"The tent zipper broke off!"
Despite it being such an issue, she discarded such into the darkness without a second thought. Cobie pottered inside and plopped her butt down on her inflated air bed... that had lost its air. So with a groan she hit the hard ground. The forest floor was not what she needed considering her bad back was already cursed with scoliosis.
"Aaand my mattress apparently has a hole in it. How lovely."
Whimpering, the girl groped for some extra comforters and pillows she had lying around, throwing together a makeshift that was comfortable enough to her liking and hunkered down. The rain that was her lullaby sounded to progress heavily.
Fleep.
"What was that?"
"The tarp."
"What?!"
"You gotta laugh."
"Do you? We're paying 80 bucks a night for this suffering."
"We're not suffering Cobes."
There was a span lasting two minutes of silence until water started to seep through the tarp-less tent and drip down on Sebastian's face.
"We're suffering." he admitted. It was about time he just give in and face the facts.
You know that infamous line in every movie that goes, 'This couldn't be any worse.'? Well that's what they both were thinking, and both had never been so wrong.
"Wonderful. Now it's pouring."
Cobie shifted her position to gaze at her companion, but was surprised to see how hope seemed to be dancing in his eyes.
"If you think this is the cliché moment I tell you that I love the rain and I ask you to go out and dance with me..."
The downpour intensified.
"Yes?"
"Think again Stan!"
He huffed disappointed. "Savage."
"I've been told and I consider it a compliment."
"By who?"
"Mai sista."
"I thought you were an only child."
"Listen I was adopted by a bitch and five wannabe prima donnas, I don't how you never picked up on that."
"You never said."
"Okay well anyway, once when I was writing a rant in my fanfic-"
"Wait wait wait– you write fanfiction?"
"Let me finish! Katie cutie Stan said-"
"Stan?"
"Shush! -said that I was a fucking savage and she loved me for it because I had said when I was watching the Martian how Beck had said that rescuing Marky Watt would be like jumping onto a moving train blah blah blah and then I referred to Bucky saying 'yeah and we know you don't do well with those' or something."
When the female finally stopped to catch a breath it hit Stan why they called it ranting. "So that's what you do on your iPad..."
"iVan, and yes. Guilty as charged."
Pulling up her blankets and accepting the misfortune that had befallen her bed, Cobie prepared to tuck in. Fate had other plans however and the partially deflated mattress slanted with her shifted weight and had her rolling off and into the same warm, padded sac that was Seb's.
She was frozen stiff yet her body was boiling hot and bothered with blush and other things.
"I swear that was not on purpose-" she started to ramble, but refusing to hear out another monologue Sebastian cut her off with a kiss. A kiss that escalated into a tickle fight and blank space for the imagination.
*#swooning*
➖➖➖
The homely aroma of sausage and eggs sizzling on a skillet was the cause of Cobie's awakening, who rose first the following morning.
Seeing someone; another human being, so close after opening her eyes was a new experience for her. At least they were both still fully clothed. Though the brushing against of their thighs together was giving her the inclination that even still something could have happened. Their toes were somehow sweetly interlocked as if a button for pausing a battle had been pressed. Her best guess was that she had probably fallen asleep in the midst of it.
One would think her body tingled with his tantalising contact, and that would be true, but his touch didn't send shivers up her spine nor did it ignite exciting sparks of electricity to course through her veins. With Sebastian, Cobie simply felt warm and fuzzy. She felt accepted. She felt safe. And nothing was better than waking up beside a guy who was perfectly imperfect.
"Why in the morning do you get fantastically frizzled hair and I get a puffy eye?" she asked the drowsy Romanian.
"Dunno." He yawned. Sebastian once again held back from crooning an overused term of endearment, but this time the novelist caught on.
"Just call me doll already you know you want to."
"I can't."
"Pweese?"
"No."
"Pweety pweese with a popped cherry on top?"
"With a what?!"
"Come on!"
"Doll no- ugh..."
"See it wasn't so hard!"
Stan couldn't suffer the defeat so he attempted to deftly turn the tables. Failure.
"You didn't brush your teeth last night did you?" . . .Yeah the fluffy morning mojo was now officially gone, thanks to why-the-fuck-did-I-say-that Seb.
"No, or floss. Why?"
"Oh no reason." He was mentally slapping himself; regretting what he said. Again. 'What a way to ruin the moment Stan.'
A grumble from his tummy was all Sebastian needed to hop out of bed with a newfound skip in his step. Cobie also received the starved alarm so she too joined him, but only after she had snap-chatted her Watty mum; posting a pouty pic using the doggie filter with the hashtag RuffinIt. Priorities people.
"This adventure shall be remembered not repeated." stated Sebastian.
"Ugh agreed!"
➖➖➖
Breakfast didn't taste so bland that sunny summer morning. Spirits were high, smiles were sparkling and a little golden chemistry was slowly starting to bubble between patron nations.
Once Cobie finished with her delightful meal from Chadwick; who had been determined to make it up to her for forever staining her favourite tee, she rose from her pretzel position getting off the grass. Concerned for what appearance her ivory daisy Dukes may had taken on she asked, "Is my butt green?"
The girl of course chose to inquire of sea bass, who answered honesty.
"No your butt is fine."
This made the player of tricks grin broad and proud. "I know."
Hemsworth; who always seemed to be observing his pack of flirtatious companions chuckled. "She got ya."
Stan nodded. "She sure did."
Striding over to the picnic table, Cobie placed her bowl in the bin of soapy suds that held the dishes Captain America was kindly scrubbing. Now that wasn't something you saw everyday. Neither did you often hear the words that fell from out of clean Cap's lips.
"So did you a, fucky with Bucky?"
Cobie shook her head. "You know what Evans..."
Extended ending...
Back in NYC: Passing by the upstairs restroom, Cobie caught a glimpse of Sebastian. He was humming some unknown tune, his left hand carding through his washed hair whilst the other held a whirring blow-drier. She could hear him murmuring to himself.
"Damn it's good to finally have a-"
"Blowjob?" she offered. Her reply was an annoyed frown and slammed shut door in the face. This only made her laugh that much harder.
Entering her room she sighed, dropping down all her bags on the floor that was never cleaned before her departure. Slack had taken its toll. What made her smile was not the crowded homeliness of her artist's abode, but the angelic halos that shown on not one– but four outlets. Two on each wall!
"My babes how I've missed you." she singsonged. Retrieving her rucksack, Cobie popped the magnetic buckle and delved to obtain her iPad that teetered on 2% and its white cord, ready to plug them into the power sources that at that moment was equivalent to recovering the Tesseract.
How gutted she was to discover that the interior of her 200£ piece of handmade leather and all its contents was a melted melded rainbow of chocolate, that perfectly conformed to her electrical chargers, over-priced organic cosmetics and brushes as a colourful crust.
"Yr hyn y mae'r gwaedlyd uffern-- What the bloody hell."
Note: This is all 100% true and occurred to moi a week ago hence my cameo.
Well, you know everything except the Avengers aspect and sleeping with Sebastian Stan part, that much was fictional–sadly. But Tony Bark, the kitty Hiddleston dying while away and the like, that was all very true as was the lack of empathy from Cobella Deevil. One thing I can tell you though–I loved mocking myself.
Well hopefully I have made you laugh with this story, or more aptly put–real life suffering/experience. Now I hand the baton to you; make me grin like Cheshire with your comments and let your thoughts run as rampant as my existence.
Oh and some words of advice: Don't ever pack an unzipped bag of M&M's in the tote that will be left in a car during the summer. Just don't. You will regret it.
-Cobie C.