Lauren POV
I called yesterday to schedule for one of the best childrens' psychologists (Dr.Morgan) in California to come here and talk to Camzi and maybe Camila.. I'm not sure how that will go. We only have about 30 minutes to get ready. All of the other girls were already dressed and whatnot and Demi went to do something with Marissa.
I was dressed as well, I just had to get Camzi ready. She was really out of it, she'd been having panic attacks off and on since she woke up, so getting her ready was taking longer than it usually does. "Baby.. Shh I got you, you're okay."
I had just got done trying to explain to Camzi what was going to happen today and she was so scared of having to open up to someone; it made sense though, since Camila only opened up to the girls, myself, and Demi, so it only made sense for Camzi to have the same issue.
I finished getting Camzi dressed in leggings and one of my hoodies and leaving her hair down with a bow, which gave me extra time to comfort and cuddle her.
I carried her to the swing we had by the indoor pool. I sat down with her in my arms, letting her cry into me. "Shhh..mommy has you..it's gonna be okay, she's just gonna help you baby." I rocked her on the swing until I only heard small sniffles from the sweetheart in my lap. I smoothed her hair and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.
"Laur she's here." Ally said before going back inside. "Come on baby, it's gonna be okay." I held out my hand to her and in return she clung onto my arm. I rubbed her back to comfort her as we walked inside.
Dr.Morgan was sitting in the living room with all of the girls. I sat down across from her and Camzi hid in my side, Dinah was on the other side of her, Mani was by Dianh and Ally was on the other side of me.
"Nice to meet you, I'm Dr.Morgan." She said shaking my hand. "I'm Lauren, and this is Camzi. Her big girl name is Camila, but she's in her headspace." I said, trying to explain. "I understand. Does she talk?" I nodded. "She's very shy." I disclaimed.
"Hey sweetie, I'm Dr.Morgan." "Hi.." Camzi said quietly. "Camzi I need you to talk to me, Lauren, can you go and get her something that makes her feel better when she's upset, so she feels more comfortable, also I need to see something."
I nodded before going upstairs to get one of her stuffies that she cuddles with when she's sad.
Camila POV
The nice lady with blonde hair told mommy to go get me something to make me feel better.. But mommy makes me feel better. When mommy is away I feel scared and my heart goes real fast and I breathe fast and I get shaky.
When mommy got up my heart got faster and I heard it in my head and my hands got all shaky and tingly. "Mommy come back.." My eyes started to water and I cried. I held Auntie Dinah's arm and she tried to make me feel better.
"The girls and I all think that both Camzi and Camila have some level of separation anxiety from Lauren." Auntie Dinah said then she hugged me tight. I didn't know what that meant. I was missing mommy too much and I cried more.
Mommy came downstairs with one of my stuffies I cuddle when I'm sad. "Mommy.." I ran to mommy and held onto her tight.
Lauren POV
When I came back downstairs Camzi ran into my arms crying. "Mommy.." She cried into my chest. "Baby I was just upstairs." I said comfortingly as I smoothed her hair.
She calmed down not too long after I sat down with her and handed her the stuffie. "Okay, One of the girls was telling me about how you all suspected that there was some level of separation anxiety in both Camzi and Camila. I can definitely confirm it with Camzi, but the only way to determine about Camila is to get her out of her headspace.
I will evaluate Camzi and Camila separately though, so it's easier." "Sounds good, I contacted you because of the incident that happened yesterday.. The one we discussed on the phone." I said, bringing it up, so I could try and get Camzi to talk about shadow man and her other shadows.
"Ah yes, Camzi sweetheart." Camzi looked at her in acknowledgement. "Can you tell me about shadow man and what her tells you, it's okay, he can't hurt you I pinky promise."
Dr.morgan held out her pinky and Camzi interlocked hers with Dr.Morgan's. Progress. "S..shadow man is a mean scary man.. H..he just a shadow a..and he only have eyes. He t..tell me bad things.. A..and to hurt myself.. Please m..make him go away.."
She was slightly crying by the end, I wiped away Camzi's tears. "You're very brave sweetie and strong." Dr.morgan told Camzi, earning a small smile. We continued with Camzi's evaluation and we needed to get on with Camila's.
Dinah POV
It was time for us to go through with Camila's evaluation, which meant getting her out of her headspace. Lauren looked at Camzi, "Sweetie, we need you to be a big girl, just for a little bit."
She shook her head frantically. "Mommy no.." She wrapped herself around Lauren and cried. "It's just so we can talk to Camila for a little bit, okay? You can go back in your headspace right after I promise you." I told her as I rubbed her back to soothe her a little bit.
She sat up and nodded. She sat there with her head in her hands for a good 5 minutes trying to come out of her headspace before successfully doing so.
She sat up and leaned her head on Lauren's shoulder. Dr. Morgan reintroduced herself to Camila.
Lauren POV
"Nice to meet you Camila, I'm Dr.Morgan." Dr.Morgan held out her hand to shake, Camila slowly shook her hand, "Nice to meet you too." She said sheepishly.
I rubbed her arm to comfort her and it worked. "I think you know why the girls want me to talk to you today." Dr.Morgan told Camila. She nodded. "Because of shadow man..?" Dr.Morgan nodded. "Yes. Can you tell me about him, and how long he's been there, and if there's more shadows?"
Camila nodded, "Shadow man has been there since I was little.. He's really mean and he tells me that I'm worthless, and to hurt myself. He gives me threats and tells me I have to listen to him. He hurts me too, especially emotionally. And yea there's others.. They are like him, but they aren't there as much, they just like to scare me." Camila spilled while looking at the ground the whole time.
"Camila are the shadows real?" Dr.Morgan asked her. She looked at Dr.Morgan like she was crazy for even asking and nodded. "Yes." Dr.Morgan shook her head, "sweetie, Shadow man is in your head."
Camila shook her head. "No really he's real. I'm sorry but he is even if you don't believe me, he's r..real." She started tearing up. "Lauren can you leave the room for 5 minutes."
I nodded, knowing this was part of the evaluation. Camila tried to get up and come with me. "Camila you need to stay." Dr.Morgan told Camila as I walked out.
I felt bad that I couldn't stay with her, but that we can't help her if we don't know what's wrong.
Normani POV
"Camila you need to stay." Dr.Morgan said to Camila. Lauren had to leave to room for five minutes as part of the evaluation and Camila wasn't taking it too well.
Camila kept playing with her hands and she looked like she was on the verge of tears and she started shaking pretty bad. "Mila.. Calm down, she's gonna come back love." Ally told her. "Yea, Camila you're gonna be okay." I told her as I smoothed her hair to calm her down some.
When she started hyperventilating some she got up and ran after Lauren. "Camila." I called after her. "Should we got get her?" Dinah asked.
Dr. Morgan shook her head so we waited for Lauren to bring Camila back.
Lauren POV
I was nervously waiting for my five minutes to be up because I knew that was really hard on Camila because she practically hasn't left my side in a long time.
"Lauren.." I heard Camila from behind me and I turned around. She fell into my arms and cried, "Baby, you were supposed to stay with the girls and Dr. Morgan."
She shook her head. "I..I couldn't s..stay w..without you." Awe.. I held her close to me and let her calm down before kissing her forehead. "Come on, let's go back downstairs." She nodded and took a hold of my hand as we went back where everyone was.
"Are you okay Mila?" Everyone asked. She nodded and we carried on with the evaluation, which took, and believe me when I say this, literally all day because Camila kept slipping back into her headspace so we had to give her a little time to get out of it.
It paid off in the end though. Dr. Morgan came to the conclusion that Camzi and Camila had equal levels of separation anxiety, they just expressed it a little different. And that she was.. Schizophrenic.. She signed a paper saying that she gave her a proper diagnosis and we could use it to get medication to help with her hallucinations.
On her way out Dr.Morgan gave me a packet and it was ways to deal with a toddlers different emotions for when Camila was in her headspace. I read over it.
Ways to calm down an anxious or upset toddler
-distraction
-Change of environment
-Breastfeeding
I'd tried distracting her and changing her environment when she was having really bad anxiety or was really upset. But Breastfeeding? I've never tried that, but also.. I don't produce milk, cause I mean hello, I've never been pregnant.
Maybe it will work as a comfort thing though. I'm pretty sure they have hormonal pills that can help you produce milk..
Maybe I'll talk to the doctor about it when we go tomorrow to get something to help with Camila and Camzi's hallucinations. I think we're gonna try breastfeeding..
A/N
Should Lauren try this as a comfort method for Camzi? Yes or no? Leave your vote in the comments
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