Evan Jacobs
*
I should have finished reading her file.
The shock of seeing me as her new client seemed to surprise her as much as it did me. There had not been any notification from the office yet that she had rescheduled, so I didn’t think I was in a rush to look over the case file. Besides, I am unsure about being her therapist as it is.
The woman was beautiful.
Beyond that, she made such an impression, I was genuinely curious about her. I wanted to see what made her tick. I couldn’t help the smile after that initial meeting. I don’t smile.
No turning back, I will have to speak with Kyle about this situation. I am now entering into a dual professional relationship. I planned to keep her at a wide distance…despite the way my heart skips a beat every time I see her…it annoyed me.
Being a professional, I cannot let this come into play. I have my career to protect, which has already taken a hit and I have been picking up the pieces. I am grateful for Kyle to give me this opportunity, despite the past. Then the first client I get is this woman. Feisty and stubborn, I can see why Dr. Mayweather called me. Ms. Winters is…unexpected.
“Evan, are you there man?” I blink, snapping out of my reverie.
“Yes, sorry Kyle where were we?”
It was Saturday morning and I was spending my weekend working. Kyle and I were going over blueprints with our contractor, Mike, for the office building we leased and were renovating.
The plans showed a lobby and reception area. There would be three offices, Kyle’s, mine and a third for a female therapist for those who are uncomfortable with a male. My thoughts jumped to Sonja’s reaction to me and I couldn’t help the smirk that came over my face.
Okay Evan back to work, I thought. There would be a staff room as well for lunches and breaks, the supply room and ladies and men’s restrooms all fit nicely in the rectangular building. The location was near the bay so the view would be peaceful and tranquil for the patients, a strategic therapeutic move.
The renovations were already underway and have been for a few months now. They should be completed by the time…my temporary dealings with Ms. Winters comes to an end. I have taken all of Dr. Mayweather’s clients and Sonja is the only one who had the most…colorful reaction.
I shook my head still in shock. I couldn’t believe she would be the one designing the website for our new company. That means I would have to see her outside of work and therapy possibly. I couldn’t figure out if I liked that or not or if it was a good or bad thing. My initial gut feeling tells me the former of both those, but my professional mind refuses to acknowledge it.
Stop worrying about it, I told myself. I shook off the thoughts and plunged myself into the conversation with Kyle and Mike. Making plans for what walls go where, colors, themes, edges and all things construction. I filled my mind with it to keep myself busy.
Honestly, I was very excited about this new practice with Kyle. He was a very good psychiatrist and we always worked well together. Being friends, we were able to anticipate each other’s needs or moods and that would make dealing with our patients go smoothly. We had not done any hiring yet or scouting, that would have to be started soon.
I chuckled to myself and my own audacity to say: ‘I would call’ the way she had when she stormed out of Mayweather’s office, now mine temporarily. It was quite true that my schedule has been filling up and quickly. I couldn’t help thinking I was glad to be busy. So I wouldn’t think about her and how her blue eyes seemed to pierce right through me.
I worked harder to keep myself free of personal emotions and expressions. I was good at it. No matter how bad the urge to run my hands through her dark hair consumed me. God, I’ve only seen the woman twice and these were very unprofessional thoughts. I chalked it up to the fact of how surprising it was to see her in the meeting yesterday.
Kyle, Mike and I worked steadily through the day. Finally, I had rid her from my mind and we all had worked up a sweat and appetite. All the work crew closed down the site for the evening while Kyle suggested we go out to the local bar and grill for food and drinks. I felt distracted and would have rather gone home for a shower, but at the risk of being rude, I decided to go instead. We agreed on sitting outside in the outdoor patio area given our obvious workman appearance. I glanced over the menu realizing I was in fact quite hungry.
“What’s your poison?” A cheerful young waiter asked us once we had a few minutes.
“The BBQ burger and a beer please,” Kyle spoke up first.
“Rib eye steak and also a beer, whatever’s on tap,” Mike our contractor ordered.
“The half rack ribs and a gin and tonic,” I said.
The waiter wrote it down quickly and took our menus, bustling away to put our orders in.
“This was a productive day,” Kyle spoke smiling. We were so different in our demeanor. He always had a smile on his face and pleasant, while I seemed brooding and cold. How did I manage to be a successful psychologist? Oh right my knack for reading people…though there is one I can’t seem to read as easily.
“Yes we should make it ahead of schedule possibly if things keep up this way,” Mike was proud to announce this. I could see the wheels turning in his head under a mop of curly dark blond hair and gray eyes. He came highly recommended to us by yet another colleague who contracted him to renovate their offices.
“How do you figure that?” I asked sipping from the water tumbler.
“If the crew keeps the pace we have been working at on the building the timeline could be moved up for health and safety inspection within three months if I am calculating correctly,” he said with sure confidence as his beer was sat down in front of him. That was almost a month before Ms. Winters therapy would be finished, I thought absently.
“I dread decorating the place, that will need a woman’s touch I think,” Kyle said with a smirk and we all laughed.
Again, my mind wandered to when I shook her hand, speaking of touch.
“We will find a good decorator, no worries,” Mike said.
The slight shock that pulsed through my body when I shook her hand the first time unnerved me.
“I still want the office to be gender neutral but welcoming at the same time,” Kyle brainstormed.
I was intrigued so when the meeting ended I loosened my grip. When the thought came that I didn’t want to let go I had to do so and quickly.
“What do you think Evan?”
Even when I hadn’t been interested before, these feelings can still cause trouble.
“What?”
Kyle chuckled at me and waved me off, obviously aware that my mind was somewhere else. Our food came a few minutes later and I was grateful for the distraction so they wouldn’t question my lack of participation as we hit a standstill in the conversation eating hungrily.
The ribs were good and I wished I had ordered the full rack now. Dusk was settling over the night sky when our eating slowed and we sipped on our third round of drinks. This time as we discussed the plans I participated more. Mike’s phone began to buzz on the table.
“Well looks like I should be going it was a good days work, here’s my part of the tab,” Mike said standing as he pulled a few bills out of his wallet.
“Wife calling you home?” Kyle asked chuckling.
“Yes,” he smirked back.
“See you later man,” I said nodding as I sipped my gin and tonic. When he was gone, I turned to Kyle nervous about even asking him anything. He knows me too well.
“Kyle, have you ever dealt with a dual relationship?”
“That came out of left field, but yes many times, why? Are you possibly having one?”
“Only professionally.”
“Well that can be fairly easy. Set some rules and guidelines for yourself as well as in the therapy. Document as much as you can in case the patient becomes attached in an unhealthy way and continue to look for an alternative.”
What if you’re the alternative? I thought to myself.
“Yes I know. How did it work for you?” I nodded slightly impatient. I knew all this, but never had one myself. That past situation didn’t count in my book.
“One of them was a family member so there was not getting around the personal aspect of that. The other was a fellow business association in my financial affairs. There was some conflict mostly butting heads about keeping therapy in therapy, but it worked out in the end.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
Kyle heartily laughed. “Believe me it’s not, but it can work if you stick to the guidelines. How long since it started and how long will you be in one?”
“It’s a recent development and only a few months.”
Kyle studied me, I knew he was trying to figure out who I was talking about but it’s unprofessional for him to know and violation of patient/doctor confidentiality. “Not to be cliché, but like any therapy, find someone to talk to about it,” he chuckled knowingly. I knew I couldn’t talk to him about it not since he was in this business association with me.
“Right.”
“Oh loosen up Evan we are celebrating.”
“You know exactly why I can’t loosen up,” my tone was a bitter one.
“It’s in the past and wasn’t your fault,” Kyle said seriously.
He was right. Still, it worried me, I wasn’t completely innocent.
“Alright cheers,” I said bringing up my drink and toasted with him. We talked about what we wanted for the website before I began to get a little too tired and wanted to make sure I could make it home after three gin and tonics.
“I should be getting home now, feeling tired,” I said as we got the bill and Kyle gathered Mike’s contribution.
“Same,” he yawned. “It has been a busy week. We paid the bill and as we left the bar.
“And Evan…” I turned to look at him. “Whatever happens with your patient keep it professional at all times when you’re with them.”
I nodded at his serious expression before he turned to walk to his car and I climbed into mine. I had a feeling that might be harder than I imagine it being. It isn’t like me to be infatuated by anyone and certainly not a patient.
My ability to keep myself detached is something I have prided myself on. I thought how that might seem hypocritical about the incident years ago, but as Kyle always has to remind me that wasn’t my doing. There was just something about Sonja that unnerved me. Maybe I could figure it out during the therapeutic process with her myself.
For now, I’ll let myself one final moment to appreciate her beauty as I played the memory of her shaking my hand. Her startling blue eyes against the black hair mesmerized me for a moment. I had to put it all out of my mind. There was nothing wrong with one final thought enjoying the thrill it gave me.
I drove home determined to make up some guidelines for myself to work on for when I am in her presence and doing our therapy or business together. I haven’t been through the hell I was before just to throw it all away. I would not let myself get interested or carried away. I am a professional.
By the time I got home the pep talk had eased some of my nerves and reservations. Sonja Winters is just another patient. A very complicated and gorgeous patient, one that I had to be emotionless around for my own sake.
*
*
Quick Note: So what do you think of Evan's POV? How he is feeling and conflicted with keeping his relationship with Sonja professional though there is a pull to her? Let me know what you think and I might just do more of Evan's mind!