-65 COMMENTS -140 VOTES -CHAPTER ON SUNDAY
it's not a lot considering nearly 600 of you read every chapter. So please. I didn't update on sunder because it didn't reach the goals. Reach them this time. switching things up this chapter. I'd love feedback on it. :)
ENJOYxx
Michael's POV
I didn't think I'd end up kissing Casey. She really surprised me tonight, I'd always thought she was kind of crazy. She told me about her real dad that had left them when she was around four, but her mother quickly remarried. Her step-dad isn't too friendly unless there are guests around. I know she likes me, well I didn't until her party, last week. She was always flirty, but I'd assumed she was like that with everyone. Tonight she told me she has liked me for the last two years, but didn't make a move or tell me sooner because she thought Hope liked me.. I didn't know what to say. I have so many different emotions towards Hope right now. If I had talked about them with Casey, I might have ended up saying something I'd regret; good or bad.
I didn't tell her anything. We were out on the porch for a while, but it was getting slightly chilly out since the sun had gone down. We stood up to go to the house. That's when I saw them.. Luke and Hope. I don't know what's more upsetting: seeing them together and thinking that they actually look like they belong together or looking at Luke knowing he'll hurt her, yet it's my fault he's going after her. I tried to get him not to, but it obviously didn't work. One final glance and my jealousy had poked to the surface.
I hadn't thought about it, I only knew that my heart was in a fragile being. I kissed Casey. I didn't just kiss her, I kissed her.
Casey didn't object to it, but her eyes were more than shocked. "Michael, are you sure you meant to do that?" she had asked me as she looked right through me. I didn't answer, I looked through the window and caught Hope turning her head. I'm not sure if she saw it or not. I remember Casey talking to me once more, but I wasn't listening, I was watching Hope and Luke. She kissed his cheek. I rushed a quick excuse to leave.
I felt terrible and still do about kissing Casey. It was a mistake, but maybe with different circumstances, I would've dated her. I pick up my pace to get out of her view, into my car, and out of her drive way. I start heading for my house. I know if I go home I'll only torture myself with all the thoughts. I feel like I should go somewhere loud and chaotic to keep my head in reality. In all honesty though, I'd rather go home and wallow in my depressed thoughts.
I turn up the radio and enjoy the lack of company while I can. Stay by Rihanna starts playing. I would usually change the channel at the depressing song, but I leave it on. I know most of the words and I sing along carelessly to the tune. Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way you move, it makes me feel like I can't live without you. Not exactly my situation, but shit. I wish she'd stay with me.
The next couple of songs are lame, but I endure them simply because I'm to lazy to change the channel. I pass by the streets that have just been absorbed by the darkness of the night. Each one looking lonelier than the last. I turn on to my familiar street, Lane. Like always, I pull into the drive of the third house on the right. The lights are all out. Maybe my parents are out at a movie and dinner or something. Who fucking cares at this point?
I trudge into the front door and don't bother to go anywhere other than my bedroom. It's not even a full five seconds before I see the freshly folded sweats and tee shirt sitting on my bed. The Beatles shirt and my old SDU sweats are things that I haven't worn in a while. They're left here for Hope to wear when she wants to stay; well wanted.
I toss them into my closet and slide the door closed. I hook my phone in to my dock and kick my shoes off next to my bed. I notice a note laying on my desk across the room. I grab it and turn on the lamp. It's only mom telling me that dad's out late for work and she went out with friends. I crinkle it up and throw it away in the small trash can and hop back onto my bed.
We Own The Night by The Wanted started to play. Personally, I think this song is shit and The Wanted can't sing live to save their lives, but I would listen to it to please Hope. She always had a weird thing for one of them; Nate Something-or-other. I remember her calling me crazy for not liking it. She would laugh and sing along to all the words. She's quite the singer actually, but if you tell her, she'll chant it in such an awful tune, you can't help but laugh and cringe.
Her brown hair would always fling back and fourth as she sang to it. That's probably my favorite thing. She never cares what I see. She'll come over in spandex or PJ bottoms. She'll eat a whole pizza and not save a single slice for me. She'll laugh until she cries at her own joke that wasn't even the slightest bit humorous. It's all the small things about her that make me love her.
I didn't think anything of our friendship until I was in about the sixth grade. I knew we were always best friends, but in the sixth grade, she was in her ugly stage. I mean, she was ugly. I could've joked on it, but I woudn't have dreamt of making her cry. One day, this kid, Sam, had told her she would always be fat and ugly. She had ran out of the classroom. Everyone was scolding him for saying it, but of course the pricks who he called friends were laughing with him.
I chased after her and stood outside of the girls room. I had called her name but she hadn't said anything. I didn't leave because I could hear her crying. I chanced the reputation of being the weird kid who went into a girl's restroom and that's when I saw her.
She was sitting in the corner of the bathroom with her knees to her chest, weeping. I rushed over to her and sat beside her. I didn't know what to say, I'd never seen her upset like this before. It broke my heart to see her cry. I had put my arm around her shoulder like I had seen the adults do in movies. When I felt my heart do something it'd never done before, I knew I liked her. I knew I was never going to not like her. I was more than okay with it because I figured she was always going to be mine.
"You're not fat or ugly," I had assured her.
"Yes I am," she cried into my shoulder.
"Hope, listen. I don't know what it's like to be a girl, but I like you and I think you're fine just the way that you are," I gave her a sympathetic smile.
"I love you Michael. You're my best friend and if that ever changes, slap me," she smiled a tear soaked smile to me.
"Deal," I laughed. She joined me. Her sweet laugh is something that I'm used to, not those pain-filled tears. I didn't say anything, but I kept my arm around her shoulders, thinking it'd been comforting her. I checked the clock on the wall and saw that the bell was going to ring any minute. "I better get out of here before all the other girls walk in and start to do girl things," I remember being grossed out at the thought of what girls did in there.
I only remember it so vividly because that was the moment that I knew I love her as more than just a friend. All these years I've waited for her to say she loved me back. All these years I've waited for something that's never come. Sure, she loves me as a friend and I respect that because I share that feeling.
I don't think she understands how hard it is to lay down with her cuddled into me and restrain from planting sweet kisses all over her subtle face. When she's telling me how big of an idiot I am, but it's the secret 'I love you' that's laced in it. The times when I can hug her for no reason at all. When she wants to spend time with me because she can't stand to be from me. When we're in my bed watching TV and she's laughing up a storm. It's so hard to not kiss her and enjoy the moment in a different way. These are things I can't help; things I want and things I can't stop myself from wanting. It's something she'll never understand. Ever.
When we were at my pool and she kissed me, I nearly fainted. Couldn't she tell it was perfect? Did she not feel the same fireworks I did? I thought she would immediately regret it and act weird, but she didn't. She kissed me again. We watched the movies and held hands. She let me hold her in an intimate way. I held onto her and didn't miss a moment of it. Her smaller warmer frame fit perfectly in my arms and I swear, I could've stayed like that forever.
I can't blame her for not loving me, but I can blame her for acting like she might possibly want to try something with me. I can't get mad over that because then I don't have an emotion strong enough to explain my feelings towards Luke. Anger is something more peaceful than what I have towards him right now. He's only just met her. First time was at my pool. The second time was at the party. At the pool, she explained how she didn't like Luke because he was cocky, but then I saw them kissing at the party.
I was so upset when I saw it, but I knew she was drunk so I coudn't address it then. Hell, I was even drunk. I had immediately called Luke the next day and told him I didn't want them to talk to each other; for her own good of course. Luke's not the type of guy that you want to get into a relationship with. He's got some bad history and I care for Hope too much to ever see her heart broken again.
All Luke had to say was that he couldn't help it. He had felt something in their kiss and he said he wasn't going to give it up. Bullshit. It's the bro code. You can't take what another guy's trying to have. I don't want to treat Hope like she's a piece of meat because she's so much more. But, I'm not going to let this newbie come in and get what I've loved since second grade. It's so not going to happen man.
I couldn't believe that he randomly showed up at the beach either. She didn't even seem shocked when he walked up to us. I don't think it was busy at the beach that day, but there was plenty of other people there. It seemed set-up. Call me crazy, but I don't think it was an accident.
Oh! "I sent a dirty snap" she said. I'm not that stupid Hope. I knew that weekend that that's how she got Luke's number. I was praying the whole time that she wouldn't remember the kiss. All these things upset me, but the worst part is that she's enjoying herself with Luke. I saw them on their date and nearly sank to the ground. She was laughing and smiling to everything he said. I watched her on the big tall ride--the one she swore she would never go on. She held onto his hand just like she had done with mine only nights before.
I couldn't help but talk to them when I saw them getting off. It was awkward, but I wanted to steal the moment from him; make her remember that I should be the only one making her laugh that hard and have that much fun. I want her to be happy, I love when she's happy, but not with Luke. Anyone but Luke.
It breaks me down into a million pieces. Tiny. Ignored. Unloved. The best friend. Everything I don't want to feel is how I'm being treated by Hope. She's my princess and I'm just the servant who admires from afar. Not anymore though.
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-65 COMMENTS -140 VOTES -CHAPTER ON SUNDAY
How'd you guys like your short Wedesday chapter. I wanted to get you guys to know why Michael's being the 'bitch' that you all think he is. Every story has two sides, right? Well here's his. I've also posted a picture of my verison of Lokey to the side.
Personally, this is my favorite chapter so far, but I'm worried that you guys will think it's boring. So definitely give me feedback on what you thought!
Don't forget to COMMENT AND VOTE it's not hard when you think about how many reads every chapter gets. don't forget to gossip about it using the hashtag #BroCodeFF on twitter. :)
Read Hired For Lux by @CaseyRyannn. :) It's one of my favorites. AND The Time Of My Life by @5AwkwardSeconds (@5soshunters on twitter) :)
-Madisonxx