Illusion (Calum Hood)

By calumhoodisnotonfire

250 36 91

Sometimes you find someone who helps you find yourself Thanks to @luckyscharms for the amazing cover! More

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Author's Note

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34 4 11
By calumhoodisnotonfire

Bostyn's POV

I ate dinner in silence listening to Jeff's speech about how I need to stay focused and how I should be grateful for all the opportunities I have gotten this year from them and should return the favor by being respectful and responsible.

Danielle doesn't talk much during these things. To me, her and Jeff are complete opposites. She's quiet and doesn't yell much. She is protective, but not nearly as over protective as Jeff. I honestly think she feels bad for me when he yells at me.

I'm not saying I hate Jeff or anything. It's just I wish I could do what I want instead of having them live through me.

I'm not them I'm my own person. Bostyn Adelaide Sykes... Or Hoffman I should say.

But that doesn't matter, point is I'm tired of trying to please them. All I'm doing is sacrificing my own happiness. I'm starting to think they don't actually love me. Maybe they're just using me.

"May I speak please?" My voice is barely above a whisper, as I look up from my plate and to Jeff and Danielle.

Jeff sighed and set his fork down, it made and loud clinking noise as it hit his plate.

"Go ahead" he said angrily.

"I'm sorry I'm disappointing you guys. I'm just tired of trying to please everyone. Everyone except myself. I don't feel happy anymore. I'm not eager to learn, I don't look forward to practice or lessons anymore. I'm just tired. I'm tired of you guys not caring about what I think or what I want to do. And I'm sorry about that. I'm so sorry I can't be your perfect child. I'm sorry I have different dreams than you do. I'm sorry my happiness doesn't come from the things you push me to do." I got up and pushed my chair back in.

I didn't even look to see their reactions. I just ran. I ran upstairs to my room and I cried. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. So I just laid there, wrapped in all of my blankets and bawled my eyes out.

About thirty minutes later I heard a light tapping on my door. I could tell it was Danielle just by the way she knocks.

I got up reluctantly and went to unlock the door.

"Can we talk?" She asked quietly, a sad smile on her face.

"I guess." I mumbled back, going to my bed to sit down.

Danielle looked at me. She had soft blue eyes. They were beautiful, but she always seemed so tired. Her blonde hair was almost perfectly straight, falling just at her shoulders.

"I don't want you to be upset, Bostyn. I know it's hard to believe it but your father and I just want the best for you. I'm sorry you're not as happy as you used to be."

I nearly cringed when she referred to her and Jeff as my mother and father. I also nearly cringed at the part when she said they want the best for me.

"I get it. But I feel like you're living through me. I just want some more freedom. I'm nearly an adult. I need to learn things on my own and make my own decisions. I hope you can respect that." I sighed. I knew I was just going to get in trouble.

"Your father and I talked about that. We do think it's a good idea if we let you have so more space. As long as you keep your grades up and still go to dance and swim practices we don't have a problem with allowing you to make other decisions on your own." Wait. What did she just say?

I couldn't believe the words that just came out of her mouth. Did she honestly just say they were going to let me do things on my own?

I reached over and hugged her. "Thank you! I won't let you guys down I swear."

She smiled as she stood up, "You could never let us down Bostyn."

And with that she closed my bedroom door and I was left having my own little victory dance in my room.

I quickly got my phone out and turned up some old Fall Out Boy songs, as I jumped around my room like a little kid at a candy store.

And then I ran into my bookcase and tripped, taking most of it with me.

My ringer was up all the way and I had gotten a text, which was odd for me.

You look so cute dancing around like that -C

I stared at my phone for a few minutes in confusion. I have a stalker? Who is this.

C.... Who's C?

Calum.

But how the hell can he see me.

Calum is that you? Why are you stalking me again? How'd you get my number?

Not stalking babe. I got your number from a secret someone. My friend lives next door. His room faces yours. Your curtains are open btw ;)

I walked to the window and opened it up.

"Fuck you, Calum Hood." I didn't expect a response since it seemed as though my neighbor Josh's window was closed.

Then my phone went off again.

When and where babe? :* ;)

I walked back to my window and flipped him off. I could see him wave back at me, all smiles as Josh laughed.

I walked away from the window and over towards the keyboard in my room.

There's a piano in our family room downstairs but I didn't really want to go down and see Jeff right now, so this will do for now.

I begin to play Ride by tøp. I usually look up songs I like on the Internet and try to find tutorials for them on piano.

After a while, I get bored and head over to my bed. I reach for the tv remote and turn on sytycd.

Very typical, I know. A dancer watching a dance show. I couldn't help it. It just interests me.

My phone vibrates and I reach over to my nightstand to grab it.

Really? SYTYCD? That's what you choose to watch?

I roll my eyes before typing a response.

Leave me alone, Hood. Stop watching my every move. It's getting creepy.

Then maybe you should close your curtains babe.

I'll do whatever the hell I want, thanks. And stop calling me babe. I'm not your babe and I never will be.

I toss my phone to the other side of my bed. I'm done talking to him for now. I'm tired of him pestering me.

**
Apparently I had fallen asleep. It was now 2am. Luckily, it was the weekend so I didn't have to worry about getting up for school.

I realized I was still wearing my clothes from school so I got up and grabbed some athletic shorts and a tank top.

I slipped Calum's sweatshirt off and set it on my desk chair. I had taken off my mocha covered shirt earlier since it was a mess.

I slid off my adidas joggers next. Now all that was left was my black sports bra and matching panties, both from VS.

I stared at myself in the mirror and frowned. I looked at my prominent six pack and large, muscular thighs.

Sometimes I hated looking like this. Many people have told me I have a wonderful figure. Or that my body is beautiful and that they would die for a body like mine.

I don't get it. I feel gross sometimes. I feel too bulky almost. Too strong on the outside, too weak on the inside.

I frown and sigh before putting my shorts and tank top on. I then take the elastic out of my hair and brush it out.

I walk into my bathroom and wash yesterday's makeup off my face.

I'm also insecure about my face. My eyes are a weird blue green color and they are too far apart. I also have big lips and a strangely shaped face.

See, this is the thing nobody else sees. No one can see the internal struggles I face. To them, I'm perfect. I'm amazing. Beautiful. Talented. Intelligent. But that's not how I feel all the time.

I shake the thoughts off and return to my bed, only to see a number of notifications on my lock screen.

You look good half naked ;)

I like your hair down. It's beautiful, like you.

You're gorgeous without all that makeup. Wow.

I smiled reading them. Well except for the first one. I blushed at that, embarrassed that he had seen me changing.

I walked back over to my window and opened it up.

Josh's window was open too, and Calum was standing in front of it.

"Leave me alone now, Hood. I need to go to sleep. And I'm closing the curtain"

He laughed. His laugh was very rich, real. It was cute.

"Do what you want Bostyn. Goodnight babe. Sweet dreams." I rolled my eyes at him for probably the hundredth time now. He just blew a kiss and I shook my head, closing my window and curtain.

I hate him. I hate Calum Hood.

But I think he's starting to win me over.
---
A/N: honestly what the fuck did I just write? Also um I want a calum hood ok thanks.

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