funny jokes and facts -part 1-

By bananaminions492

1.2M 54.8K 5.2K

There will be a lot of funny jokes and facts If you don´t like the jokes, just stop reading it !!! and please... More

Donald duck
Waitress
School-ruler
The doctor and the frog
NOT your phone number
How is your headache
100 pounds of chocolate
Dad smartass
this soup taste funny.
votes
Baby
65% of women...
Old but gold
The principal daughter
98% of women...
Say the alphabet faster...
Giving birth...
Facebook
My parents complain
Toy story
LAZY FACT
Hunting elephants
Twins fighting
Eats slower...
How to louse weigh!
having more fun than me
math problems
I used to think...
To do list
Neil Armstrong
Another Waitress
Become Captain Crunch
The brain
Bang
Teacher/student
Ask this question...
Play a game
when you are eating cereal
what room can ghosts...
Best two days of school
Fans
D.R.A.M.A.
That awkward moment...
When I play fighting game...
No mom, you're mad because...
your parents will not stop talking.
Lying in bed...
Ladies first
We're only staying for 30 minuets
Stop waiting for prince charming
Diputseromneve
Send him to KFC
Dear math
Voldemort
in the mood where...
13 Santa clauses
Eating a giant marshmallow
Relationship are like algebra
Teacher/student
Bee do, bee do, bee do
My wife is an angel.
blonde in the military
Are you afraid of dying alone
10 funny ways to order a pizza through phone
three sons
Starts with men
50-50-90 rule
Room full of married people
This dog
If I don't start the conversation
millionaire
parking ticket
a blonde, a brunette and a red-head
fake noodle
Dear enemy.
what is the best christmas present?
Distance sucks...
Lucky Charms for breaky!
Tennesee
A in math !
I'm not 70 years old.
passwords
WTF did I just write!
What did the sea say to Santa?
What says OH OH OH ?
Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Wife and worms
a sign from god
The 3 stages of man.
Why is christmas like your job
can wearing a christmas hat
What nationality is Santa Claus?
I know what you're getting for christmas
Rudolph the Red
The best way to tell someone you don't like them
Thinking someone is waving to you
When I want things to happen
Not Sara
Will you marry me? :)
How were people born?
Water in the toilet
I know the whole truth
Be like Mario
What does IDK stand for
i let out a long, silent fart.
Dad, I'm hungry
Vote if you have ever done one of these
3 most difficult things in the world
Nervous
old people at weddings
Follow the heart
if you fall
I didn't fall
Life is really fun
The evening news
10 facts about you
Mondays, Tuesdays and WTF
When I die
Cheer myself up by singing
Everybody and nobody
hold a minute
run outside naked
I wasn't laughing
A swinging door
sounds like sausage
Josh HutcherSON
I'd slap you
Mom, I'm going out!
I LOVE YOU
That little voice inside your head
when I clear my calculator
I love you, mom
waiter3
STRESSED=DESSERTS
thinking really hard face
find the mistake
the demon drags you down the hall
LOLZ
jealous
I feel bad for the girls...
Iceland and Cuba
Be strong
be serious and then I smile
talking on the phone
That look when you give your best friend
Facebook in real life
eat yourself
Lesson learned
working on Valentine's Day
Parents aren't funny
Dear algebra
*Error*
"Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia"
The dog died but we can still keep it
This is how my week goes
Hey useless
What has to be broken??
sad songs
ELEMENO P
Happy Birthday
Skydiving
They would be so proud of me!
Act wasted
Alarm Clock
you were born for somebody
sneeze
I love Youtube
laughs at my own texts
I love finding money
what do you do for fun
I didn't fall 2
scary movies
ILY
I bought 50 watermelons
Dear algebra...
respect old people
my mom thinks...
do you play mini-golf
I like your teeth
cereal killer
fear of teeth
Agnes had 25 children
that's how communication works
The year
I get so mad
The scary thing about dating
When people say I'm quiet
should we keep writing this book?
prayed for forgiveness
Nails and wood
which came first?
I'm free I'm free
butterfly
What do pilots eat?
what makes you see
this sentence in future tense
ME!!!
The end

Top 10 ways to freak out your roommate

12.9K 446 71
By bananaminions492

10 ways to freak out your roommate.

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from others. Wait few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain it to your roommate. "He just didn't belong."

 9) Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor at the empty side of the room with concern.

 8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say " The hair, it's growing. GROWING !!!"

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night.  While your doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon....

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Laugh at the pencil. "MUHAHAHA

5) Tell your roommate, " I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint.  When you recover say you can't remember what the message was. Later on say, "oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head,and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it. Leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate get rid of it, and then say, "Hey, Where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2)  Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! your'e back!" As loud as you can and dance around the room for five minuets. Afterwards keep looking at your watch and saying, "shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up,explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer!"

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