P.O.V.
˚₊✩‧₊ jeon jungkook ₊‧✩₊˚
ー
joonn20
wanna play a game?
Jungkook's eyes peeled open impossibly wider, glued tightly to the brightly lit computer screen, full of some type of anticipation and bitterness. His bottom lip sunk between his teeth, engraving deep red marks into it's wake. His lips only becoming swollen and frigid with that simple action, saliva pooling steadily at the corner's of his mouth.
This wasn't good.
Jungkook can't take stuff like this very well at all.
jeongguk26
what do u mean?
who are u????
Anxiety.
He could feel it. How the pace of his chest moving up & down increased with each second that passed, his hands fidgeting rapidly under the table, tugging on each individual finger with ease and some type of determination. The dim room around him grew terribly darker, the absence of light making the room feel empty and brisk, invisible gusts of wind passing through Jungkook's being. Goosebumps arose down the surface of his milky yet pale skin, chills engulfing him with each settle move he risked to make.
joonn20
if u agree to play the game then i'll answer all ur questions
but u'll have to go by the rules
or there will be consequences.
Intense anxiety.
The world was closing in on him so quickly. So suddenly, and he felt too weak to do anything about it. Too fucking weak, yet he was still managing to type out some bullshit response, within seconds of receiving the previous messages.
How fucking pathetic.
jeongguk26
okay.
i'll play...
who are u & what are the rules
Panicking.
It was only getting dreadfully worse, falling so simply from the oh-so fragile pads of Jungkook's fingertips. So delicate, yet they held those so immensely salient.
And he swore he only sent those messages out of impulse.
He doesn't wanna play this game.
joonn20
okay baby boy
now my name is kim namjoon
and the only rule is your mouth will stay shut
about anything that happens in this chat
Kim Namjoon?
Why did that name sound so familiar.
It only began to eat away at him as the hands ticked slowly around the clock. The annoying ticking sound seemed to increase with each tenuous breath the latter took in. What were Namjoon's initial plans? How did he so happen to stumble upon a new kaoko user named Jungkook, with a simple picture of himself and a dog, accompanied by an unexplainable urge to wanna get something out of him? What was going to be happening in this chat that was oh-so very sacred, that no one else was granted the permission to know?
Another ping sounded throughout the room, bouncing off the walls and alarming the younger.
joonn20
and if u happen to say anything
you'll be sacrificing your relationship with the one and only seokjin
Then thats when the latter finally realized.
How could Jungkook be so fucking idiotic.
The world suddenly began to crumble before his eyes, the air in the room suddenly growing hot and crisp, making it almost impossible for him to breathe. His body started to tremble at uncontrollable rates, fidgeting under his own touch as he reread the messages. Jungkook felt like he was suffocating; his once calm state replaced by an overbearing amount of solicitude. Each breath he took becoming more painful than the last, long drawn throaty sighs escaping his swollen, chapped lips.
Because Kim Namjoon was Kim Seokjin's beloved boyfriend. A.k.a, the most important human Seokjin has ever interacted with, and will ever meet in his entire life. He had such a big impact on Seokjin in every way possible, and Jungkook knew better than to mess with anything that had to do with him, in a bad way at least.
The one and only boy that had to physical power to destroy their friendship in the matter of minutes. With a few simple words, actions, maybe even with a blink of an eye. The boy that is currently preventing Jungkook from talking to Seokjin just because he couldn't pick up the damn phone. The one single boy that his best friend is undeniably head over heals in love with. The one he can never stop talking about, because he's just so caught up in what he has to offer.
It's funny how those relationships work.
Jungkook likes to think of relationships as stars in the sky. Stars are scattered so randomly throughout the universe, it's almost impossible to predict who you'll just happen to bump into. And every star is different; they either illuminate the entire sky with something just as simple as their presence, or they're barely visible to the human eye. They are either the size of the sun, or the size of a neglected marble you have tucked away in some random drawer. They either live for thousands of years, or die within seconds. But everyone wonders, what stars will combine to make a star that was unimaginably better than the last?
When they do discover the answer, now they have to await the ending. Their mind just makes up more questions that they long to be answered. How long will this star last? Will it break away and join up with some other star, or will it stay, and continue to make an impact on this star's life?
Because you can't depend on every star. It might seem like this star is all you'll ever have, the only star that is making you seem brighter. Shine brighter.
But what are you going to do when that star breaks you? What are you going to do when the star decides to bring light to another star's life?
Will you decide to let go, decide to burn out? Will you do exactly what the rest of the world expects an empty star to do?
Jungkook was a star, an empty star to be exact. But was there a star that left him for another, causing him to be vain and hollow? Not exactly. He was just a very broken star, so very fragile and precious that no one dared to look at him for more than a few seconds. So many cracks and scars that each held their own individual story. He was that star, the one no one really payed any attention to when the sun went down.
Kim Namjoon was also a star. He was a quite popular star, the one everyone liked to grant a wish on. The first star that Jungkook noteably wanted to burn out, even though he knew very little to nothing about this fellow star. All he knew so far was what this star was doing was dangerous, so very wrong.
But he agreed to this dreadful act.
That's the part that pisses himself off the most.
All of his senses where a mess, his feelings were everywhere and the younger just couldn't seem to keep track of any them. He felt numb, like he was unable to feel anything physically or emotionally, but at the same time he could feel everything. The surface of his skin was boiling, turning a light pink color under his sight. His fingertips took possession of an iceberg, freezing and breaking everything he graced. His still wet hair laid so lightly against his forehead, water droplets still dripping from the ends, to the point where he was having trouble telling it apart from his nervous beads of sweat. His body still trembling against the thin material of his clothing, making him feel trapped, keeping him from escaping the monster that is himself.
He could have blindly avoided the situation, and maybe Namjoon would have simply left him alone. They would both be peacefully settled with themselves not knowing what the other had to offer, yet he let his curiosity get the best of him. Jungkook was stuck in a nightmare, and he wouldn't allow himself to wake up. The deep brown orbs he likes to claim as his own don't dare to open, and now he's stuck between keeping his friendship with Seokjin, or telling him and risking Namjoon doing something to corrupt their friendship. They both know very well that Seokjin is first to believe anything that falls from Namjoon's lips before Jungkook's, because he was just too blinded by this star's brightness. If this star left him, he would be nothing, and Jungkook knew it scared him to the core.
Thats the problem with Seokjin when it comes to Namjoon, he let's himself be so obliviously blinded, just because he's scared of what he'll be when he loses him. He's never fallen for anyone as much as he has for Namjoon, and you can practically see it in his eyes when he does something as simply as thinking about him. Seokjin will do anything for Namjoon's eternal happiness, even if it means sacrificing his own. He'll believe and do anything as long as it makes his beloved happy, and there was not one thing anyone could do to change that.
So here Jungkook was, on the verge or having a horrible anxiety attack for the first time in months, simply because of Seokjin's asshole of a boyfriend.
Great.
Jungkook hadn't realized he made it to the floor, his chest meeting the thin fibers of the carpet. The hard surface against his chest only made his heart feel like it was beating harder, his chest moving painfully against the floor, a simple reminder that reminds him he's still alive. He pushed himself to his side, pulling his legs up to his chest and enveloping his arms snuggly around himself, burying his face into his knees. He eyes stung with regretful tears, visibly glassy in his own darkness.
He hasn't felt this in so long, and all he had to calm himself down was himself. It was never a good idea to leave Jungkook alone with his thoughts, especially at a time where he was as vulnerable as this. His thoughts always found a way to overthink something, a way to pierce through his previous beliefs and completely destroy them. Searing tears started to pour from his eyes, down his crimson tainted cheeks and into the thin, laced fibers of the carpet beneath him. The material was rough against his bare skin, the areas that rubbed against it quickly becoming irritated and discolored. His damp, brunette hair sprawled widely over the carpet, some pieces still covering his mess of a face, something he's never proud of after he's broken down. When he's breaking down.
Loud sobs erupted from his mouth, almost too loud to be tracked back to an actual human being. He tried to muffle them out between the comfort of his knees, but he only started to shake harder and cry louder. It's never hurt so bad to go through something so very simple. Quite frankly, just the thought of losing Seokjin as a friend hurt more than anything he's ever experienced. Which, if you think about it, it was pretty sad, considering all he people he's lost in his journey of life. Seokjin just meant so much to him, and there was no doubting that.
All the noise was suddenly beginning to drown out, Jungkook's world becoming silent, and the only thing he was able to hear was his own weak voice in his head. His degrading sobs weren't even noticeable anymore, though the pool of ears that stained the thick carpet beneath him was. The hoods of his eyes didn't dare to open, staying clenched shut with the hope of more darkness overcoming. Hopefully drowning him with something much more relaxing, deep, and protruding no emotions. That's why Jungkook admired the color black, it liked to drown out all the colors, take them away so they weren't visible anymore.
"Jungkook?" A deep voice suddenly interrupted through the small, enclosed area. The tone was filled with mixed emotions, and Jungkook could't quite pinpoint what they exactly were. It sounded like a mix of confusion and regret, maybe even a bit of sympathy that Jungkook despised. Even when he was at his absolute worst, at his point of officially tearing his seems, one thing he did't want was sympathy from others. He didn't want his last few seconds on earth to be wasted by receiving something others seem to enjoy when they have the opportunity. He truly didn't understand it.
Nothing followed afterwards, just a few faint sounds of feet padding across the floor. Jungkook strongly ignored it, wrapping his arms slimly around his head with a sudden, unknown urge to scream. He didn't know what to do with himself, longing slightly for the comfort of another person. It pissed him off that he couldn't overcome something like this by himself, without the thought of others crawling into his brain. His first instinct would be to call Seokjin, but theres multiple reasons why he can't resort to that.
"Jungkook," The voice repeated, now somewhat softer and disturbingly comforting, but Jungkook chose to ignore it again. Only pulling harder onto his legs and digging his knees deeper into his chest. He didn't like being vulnerable like this, especially when he knew who was sat in front of him. Of all times, why did he have to come back now.
A hand suddenly broke the bond that was holding Jungkook together, wrapping an arm around the younger's waist and pulling him upwards. His face was suddenly visible, his tear stained cheeks hot and red from being trapped beneath himself and the carpet. His eyes were puffy and still brewing tears, mimicking the same color that plastered across his cheeks. Jungkook's eyes still remained closed, not wanting to meet the other's and let himself become an open wound, giving the world permission to enter and infect him.
"What's wrong?" He barely whispered, pulling Jungkook into his chest, and without thinking clearly, the younger kindly accepted his warming welcome. Jungkook's small fists met immediately with his shirt, balling around the loose fabric that hung from his broad body. Taehyung was warm, he was inviting, and Jungkook was too broken to reject it.
Jungkook just whined in response to the question, tears pooling down his cheeks and onto Taehyung's shirt that he hand bundled up in his fists. He didn't want to say anything, he had nothing to say. He definitely didn't want to tell Taehyung about anything this personal, he even had trouble telling Seokjin stuff that was this close to him. If anything, he could've contacted Jimin just as he felt unsettled, but he would just be met with the same messages that led him to this mess.
"Okay, we don't have to talk about it." He said softly into Jungkook's now dry hair, keeping his head settled there as he held the broken boy in his arms. Jungkook felt weird with Taehyung treating him this way. He figured it was surely out of sympathy, but he was too tired to think about that now. The sleepless hours of the night before were slowly creeping upon him as he shredded each slivered tear, crying away all the energy he had gained from those multiple cups of coffee. He just wanted to sleep, but he just couldn't stop thinking, worrying, panicking.
Fuck, Jeon Jungkook, you're such a disgrace of a mess.
"Would you like it if I sang to you? Would that calm you down?" Taehyung questioned, lifting his head from the top of Jungkook's and looking down at him with a weak gaze. Jungkook lifted himself from where he was buried in his chest, in his arms, and finally opened his eyes to meet the other's. They showed obvious weakness, and Jungkook could see the sad look in Taehyung's eyes that he hated, but what didn't Jungkook hate?
He locked eyes with him for a few moments, then returned to burying his face into the elder's chest, nodding his head up in down to answer his question subtly. Taehyung then hummed, tracing soothing patterns into the small of Jungkook's back. He was still sat in the same awkward position, but Jungkook didn't bother to adjust himself. This was as comfortable as use was gonna get in this situation.
Taehyung then began humming a delicate tune, rocking back and forth slightly to follow it. He did that for a while, and then words started to escape his lips, so smooth and solace to Jungkook's fragile ears. The younger immediately recognized the song as well, as it was one he always listened to to calm himself down. It was the one and only Hug Me by Jung Joon ll.
Taehyung's voice was so deep and breathtaking, Jungkook was taken back by what beautiful sounds the elder was emitting from his lips. And before he knew it, his sobs slowly started to decrease, his body finally beginning to stop visibly shaking. His tear stained cheeks were beginning to dry as he kept his body stationary in Taehyung's arms, admiring the song that he sang so alluringly. Each word more appealing than the last.
Soon enough, it all came to an end. Taehyung's mouth finally shut, forming a small smile as he looked down onto a now relaxed Jungkook, his lids now falling gracefully over his eyes. After so many hours, Jungkook was finally getting what he seeked, an escape from the real world. An escape into a place where he can create his own, somewhere so much more flattering. One where there's always new opportunities, new people, new sentiments. Just a virtual dream in his head.
"See, better now?" Taehyung lisped, running his hands lightly through Jungkook's freshly showered locks as he watched sleep take over the small boy.
"Sleep well, Jungkookie."
-
me: eats seaweed chips diligently as i write
was this messy,? idk eEee