Superheroes Suck

By Missliteraura

292K 13.8K 5.9K

Nova was never really fond of superheroes. From their capes to the idea that a woman could serve as little mo... More

Chapter 1: Who Thinks Organopaw Is A Good Name For A Superhero?
Chapter 3: You're Blaming Me For Almost Dying?
Chapter 4: Dangit
Chapter 5: Even Supervillains Hate the Rain
Chapter 6: How Can You Beat the Worm?
Chapter 7: The Classic, "Wrong Place, Wrong Time"
Chapter 8: I Stayed Mute
Chapter 9: We've Got a Comedian on Our Hands
Chapter 10: Well the Alternative is Dead
Chapter 11: Being A Damsel in Distress Is Just a Side Job
Chapter 12: You Said You Were a Damsel Earlier
Chapter 13: Confession Time
Chapter 14: He Definitely Stole My Dunkaroos
Chapter 15: Opening Up
Chapter 16: Too Serious For A Self-Referential Joke
Chapter 17: Reading to Old People Is Ridiculous
Chapter 18: Did Someone Drop A Globe On My Car?
Chapter 19: Competent and Female
Chapter 20: Secrets Unveiled
Chapter 21: Vowels Are Like So Extra
Chapter 22: Blah Blah Blah
Chapter 23: You Don't Even Like Superheroes
Chapter 24: I'm Serious Wallflower
Chapter 25: It Was Raining Fire
Chapter 26: The Bat Cave
Chapter 27: Adventures in the Batcave Continue
Chapter 28: Peter Pan
Chapter 29: Didn't Expect That, Huh?
Chapter 30: The Awkward Chapter
Chapter 31: That's a Shckr, I Know
Chapter 32: The Itchy Namesake
Chapter 33: T-Man
Chapter 34: Flirtationship
Chapter 35: The Kissing Booth
Chapter 36: The M is for Mystery
Chapter 37: Those Stupid Green Eyes
Chapter 38: A Shckng Press Conference
Chapter 39: Wildflowers
Chapter 40: Superhero Supervision
Chapter 41: Picture Perfect
Chapter 42: Totally F**ked
Chapter 43: The Reveal
Chapter 44: No
Chapter 45: The Jealous Type (Finale)
A Sequel...Several Years Later? Sign Me Up!

Chapter 2: We All Know Villains Aren't Known For Their Creativity

11.5K 515 391
By Missliteraura


The car was again silent and this time the air between us was filled with sneaking looks when the other seemed not to be watching and so many unsaid words. There was no way any small talk was going to fool him or even make this situation any less awkward so I chose to stay silent. It seemed Penn figured the same thing. Every so often though, he would watch me in the mirror as if he was trying to read me which is something he's been practicing since we were six.

It never worked though, I've got a mind of steel.

Penn has always been good at that, he always seems to know exactly how to deal with people. He always knows just what to say when someone is mad at him, he's a wiz at guessing a number between 1 and 100, and he always knows the answer to the teacher's question even when he isn't paying a lick of attention.

Now I know what you are thinking. Nova, could Penn be a...Superhero?

If I'm being honest, I don't know. That's something I have asked him more times than I can count and he's denied having any powers at all. To say I was disappointed the first time he denied it, when I was the ripe age of six-years-old, would be a big understatement. I almost jumped off my house and insisted that Penn fly up and stop me. Ice cream in the end did the trick.

"I really want some ice cream right now." I muttered to myself, unaware I had said it aloud.

"What?" Penn asked, looking at me.

Of course I had to say that aloud, I'm an embarrassment.

"Nothing."

The ride continued in an awkward silence. It stayed that way until I realized we were nowhere near our houses.

"Why are we driving into the city?" My eyes were glued to the place I call my home.

Every time I drive through here, I can practically imagine the streets teeming with life. I live in a more suburban area outside the city dense city area. Most of my friends are within the city limits and yet they always suggest hanging at my house. If I lived here, I'd take advantage of it.

All of my friends have a Chipotle and a Starbucks within walking distance. I have a Walmart and even that's like a mileish away.

Okay, so I guess that I could technically walk to the Walmart but that takes at a minimum, forty-five minutes. They can get to Chipotle in like thirty seconds.

"I told you I needed to talk to you." He explained, never taking his eyes off the road.

"You couldn't have said these things at home, or in the car on the way home, or somewhere that's not in the complete opposite direction of my home?"

"Nope." He shot back. "And I seem to recall a certain someone was in the mood for ice cream."

That shut me up quickly. All the good ice cream places were in town so whenever I was in the mood, I'd have to settle for some crappy place that was close. Penn didn't even need to tell me where we were going because any place would be better than the one I'm usually forced to go to, Lickity Splits.

Penn pulling into a parking spot outside my favorite ice cream place in Belhurst. He managed to get the spot close to the doors and got out without a word to me. Before I knew it, Penn was on my side of the car, opening the door. I thanked him and began walking toward the ice cream shop.

"I'll be right there, I left my wallet in the car." Before I could offer to cover it, Penn shot me down. "Coming was my idea, so the ice cream is my treat."

There was no way I was going to turn down free ice cream. This place is the best in the state too, they make all the ice cream themselves. Not only is it absolutely mouthwatering but they've got the coolest flavors because they make it here. I am sort of stuck on the idea of them making the ice cream themselves, it's my favorite part.

"Come on slowpoke." I called back to Penn, not even checking to see if he was following me. I assumed he was right behind me.

Penn wasn't following me.

It took me about half the parking lot to realize why and by then it was too late.

There was a new villain in town and he stood not 100 feet in front of me.

People were in chaos behind him. They were screaming and yelling, acting as if they had never seen a villain before in their lives. The guy hadn't even done anything yet, he was just standing there staring at something. That something was me.

"Hello." His voice was low. That wasn't the first thing I noticed about the guy but it is the most relevant thing.

He was super hot for a super villain. He was strong for his stature, even beneath the cloak I could see that. His lips were thin but it worked with the oval shape of his face. He was a bit taller than me, shorter than what I'd usually go for but his confidence drew me in. Those eyes of his were enough to make the most hardened criminal melt. They were red which should have set me running in the other direction, being this close to him should have done that too, but they were oddly hot.

His costume was really elaborate. The cloak he wore was a deep green and it matched the letter on the front of his suit, it was an S. Everything else was black, the body suit that clung to his body and showed off everything as well as his mask. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a hero.

But I do.

"Hi." I said, my voice as brave as I could muster.

After the initial 'wow he's hot' wore off, I realized I was screwed and when I turned around and Penn was gone, I knew that became completely screwed. Great. Just great.

"You." He took a step closer to me, "are one pretty thing. What are you doing here all alone?"

"I'm with a friend." I stated simply.

"Really?" He looked around, scanning the surrounding area before his eyes landed on me again. They glinted with malicious intent. "Where is this so called friend?"

"He was just here, he probably went ahead." His eyes said he didn't believe me.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing I'm here." He flashed in front of me in a matter of seconds. "I'm Stromer."

The villain grabbed ahold of my arms and grinned sadistically. Just as quickly as he had flashed over to me, we were in town square. People below us gasped and screamed and just stared, as if they just had to watch me be throw off this building. No one moved, not one intelligent person thought to call a superhero.

"Let me go."

"Why should I let you go?"

"Because I said so."

Surprisingly he agreed. "Okay."

And then he let me go.

He let me go on the corner of the highest building in town. That meant I was falling roughly forty stories with a crowd of people watching. For a moment, it fel like everything around me had stopped but then everything started again and I became aware just how quickly I was falling to my impending doom. People were whipping out their phones left and right to capture my untimely demise. At least that means I'll be a highlight on the evening news, it's always been a dream of mine.

Except, I never hit the cold, hard ground. Not even a third of the way down, I stopped. My eyes were practically glued shut but I forced them open with all my might, trying to see what had stopped my descent. When I looked up, I didn't find what I was expecting.

I thought that it was this sicko villain trying to prolong this torture, prolong the sick thrill he got doing this just a bit longer.

Blazing green eyes met mine when I looked up.

Spitfire held me in his arms. The Spitfire had saved me. Wow.

We stared at each other for a while, until I got the courage to say, "Are you going to put me down anytime soon? Maybe kick that bastard's ass? Just a suggestion."

Spitfire grinned and said, in a deep, baritone voice, "I like that suggestion."

"Good to know." Good to know? Why do I always say the stupidest things?

He lowered us to the ground and didn't let go of me until his feet were firmly planted. People around began to swarm us but before they could, he turned to me. "Promise me something?"

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Go to the Mayor's Ball with me?" His eyes shone warmly as he looked down at me. The police had luckily been able to hold back the crowds but I knew it wouldn't last. "You know, the one the city has every single year? That very same one they are honoring me at?"

The question took me by surprise, it seemed pretty random considering our current location. "Why?"

"Well of all the girls I've saved from falling to their doom, you're my favorite." The way he smiled, all the girls around us swooned. If I didn't have the slightest bit of self control, I would have been with them. Even with some self control it was a battle, this guy is smooth.

"I seem to recall that I am the only girl you've saved from falling to their doom." I tilted my head up at him, daring him to correct me. I was hoping to maybe bring him a peg or two down.

It seemed though that only made him smile more.

"Well I guess we should keep it that way then?"

"Maybe not, seeing as I most likely won't be the only girl you'll have to save from falling to their doom. That trick is the first thing they teach you in the Super Villain Academy and we all know villains aren't known for their creativity."

"I guess that's a good point." An explosion could be heard above us. Smoke and debris fell from above. "Now that I think about it, I really should go stop him."

"I think you're right about that."

"Another time then, Nova Renier." Before I could question how Spitfire knew my name, he did something unexpected. Well, I guess if this were a romance novel instead of real life, it'd be exactly as you expected.

Spitfire kissed me.

I could go into detail, and trust me I definitely would, but I won't because I want to keep the whole thing to myself. I'll just say that he was a great kisser and he had some pair of plump lips. Damn.

"I meant what I said before." He winked, a playful smile on his plump pink lips.

No, Nova, you need to stop thinking about his lips and how great that kiss was. He's never going to kiss you again, it was probably one of those things heroes do to look more "heroic."

Boy was I wrong about that.

Spitfire was quick to defeat Strober, or whatever his name was. Once Spitfire set his sights on him, that villain was fleeing the city with his cape between his legs. Do you see what I did there, I replaced tail with cape? Yeah, I know I'm a flipping riot.

Now that all the drama is gone, I'm left with a bit of a problem. Penn is nowhere in sight and he was my ride here, which means either I find him or I try to figure out which bus takes me the closest to my house. I chose the former because I also didn't have my wallet ergo, I had no money for bus fare.

I tried the ice cream place first. The place was just how I remembered it, except instead of being bustling with people, it was completely empty. The workers weren't even behind the counter, the back door was slightly ajar so one could assume they escaped out of it. I was feeling a little naughty, especially after what happened with the sinful Spitfire, so I helped myself to an extra-large helping of Birthday Cake ice cream with a boatload of sprinkles.

I felt a twinge of guilt as I looked down at the mess I had made, and taken without a dime of reimbursement. Then again, did I really care? Only slightly.

After taking a few heavenly bites of the creamy perfection, all was forgotten and I continued my search for Penn.

His car was still in the parking lot, which I took as a sign that he had not abandoned me. Even if he had, he couldn't have gotten far without his car. Penn had to be in the surrounding area and I was a little hurt he hadn't run to me after what happened with Strober. There was no way he hadn't seen that trainwreck.

Penn wasn't that hard to find and when I did, he flung his arms around me and hugged me like I had been missing for years.

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

It surprised me because that was exactly what I wanted to hear and usually when you're mad at someone, they say the opposite. That pissed me off a little bit because I was supposed to be mad and he was supposed to be a dick. Despite that, the softness of his sweater was comforting and I relaxed a little in his arms.

"Yeah," I said, my voice softening immediately. "Where the hell were you? One moment we're walking, the next I'm all alone and you're gone."

His face drained of color and he looked away, ashamed. "I'm so sorry Nova. When I saw that villain," The disgust was evident in his face, "I ran and I just assumed you were right behind me. When I got a few blocks away, I turned to make sure you were okay but you weren't there. I was scared shitless because I didn't know where you were."

Suddenly, I felt bad. He had run away without checking to see if I was running with him however, he had just thought I had enough sense to run with him. I hadn't, I guess I'm just too attracted to danger to do anything but be drawn to it.

"It's alright." The ice cream melted in my mouth and I savored that. "I got my ice cream."

Penn snorted, "That you did Nova." He reached and took a spoonful of my ice cream. "Thanks for a taste."

I pushed him playfully and he returned the favor. We drove back comfortably, spending the whole time laughing and joking around. This right now was how we were supposed to be and after everything, what Penn had to say earlier was forgotten.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey guys! My name is Meagan and I hope to anyone who is reading this that you're enjoying it. I'm hoping to upload every Sunday so if you like it, make sure to tell me what you're thinking and give this chapter a vote!

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