Chapter 2: Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN – I mean SNAPEMAN!!!!
Disclaimer; I do not own Harry Potter or the songs in this story (except Harry and Snape’s rap songs)!
READY FOR ANOTHER CHAPTER OF BLOODY HELL! …. OKAY HERE WE GO 3, 2, 1 BLAST OFF!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
After another argument with Draco, Hermione walked through the entrance of the Great Hall to have breakfast. I just hate that stupid ferret! Who does he think he is?? Wasting my time and using up all the hot water! And to insult me by thinking that I was staring at his delicious body and- WAIT DID I JUST CALL HIM DELICIOUS!!! FRIGGIN’ HELL!!!!!! JUST REMEMBER, HERMIONE, BEHIND THAT “DELICIOUS BODY” THERE IS AN ARROGANT, BIG HEADED AND SELFISH PRAT! I AM SOOOO GOING TO GET BACK AT HIM!!! She was debating with her head again. Hermione sighed. Looks like her mind had won the argument. She saw Harry, Ginny and Ron at the Gryffindor table and walked over to them.
“Morning everyone,” Hermione greeted them.
“Morning Mione,” Harry and Ginny responded. Ron just mumbled something to her while looking at his plate, blushing madly. I guess he’s still trying to avoid me Hermione thought.
“Hey Harry, could you do me a favour,” Hermione said to Harry.
“Sure Mione what is it?”
“I want you to pull a prank on Malfoy,”
“OOOOOO goodie! What do you want me to do?” He continued “Wait, how about I corner him and turn the hose on him. Or how about I go up to him & tell him that there is a killer on the loose in Hogwarts and they are killing anyone named Draco. How about I put pink bows and ribbons in his hair while he sleeps,”
“That’s alright Harry but-”
“Ohhhh what about I spread a rumour about him saying that he sleeps with a pink unicorn and I create a girlie one and take a photo with him sleeping with it. Or I could go ask him constantly when he is going to ask Snape to marry him. Or maybe I could shove a pencil right up his-”
“HARRY CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND, PLEASE?!! I have something else in mind,”
“Fine, but I still think that it would have been really funny if I had stuck a pencil right up his-”
“HARRY! Try to stay on track here,” Hermione said irritably. Honestly, this kid has the attention span of a peanut.
Hermione continued “Alright, Harry now I want you to listen very, very carefully okay?”
“Okeydokey,”
Hermione told Harry her plan to prank Malfoy. Harry’s face began to be filled with excitement. “Bloody hell Hermione, that’s brilliant!!!”
“Shhhhhh keep it down, Harry. No one can know about it only you and me, promise?” Hermione said looking at Harry. He nodded and she gave him a hug “Thanks Harry,”
“You’re welcome Hermi-” Harry stopped as soon as he saw Professor Snape enter the Great Hall. “Oi Hermione, my main goal this year is to make every day a living hell for Snape. Watch this,”
Professor Severus Snape had just walked past Harry when Harry started singing “Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN – I mean SNAPEMAN!!!!” The entire school emerged with laughter. Professor Snape just gave Harry one of his famous glares “Excuse me Mr Potter?” Harry instantly hugged him, gave him a toothy smile and said in a girlie voice “You are my hero Mr Batman,” he giggled at the horror and shock expression that Snape had on his face. “Ewwww Potter germs. 10 points from Gryffindor… for putting your disgusting cooties on me,” said Snape as he stared at Harry with a disgusted and confused expression on his face.
“Well fine! Then 15 points from Professor Snape,” Harry retorted.
“WHAT THE FUDGE??!!! YOU DON’T TAKE POINTS OFF ME, I TAKE POINTS FROM YOU,” Snape had that angry vein on his forehead that made his wrinkles look like mountains. “Take an extra 30 points away from Gryffindor,” said Snape; even though he still had his vein throbbing on the side of his forehead in anger, a smirk rested upon his lips; he thought he had won. Oh boy was he wrong.
Harry stood on top of the Gryffindor dining table and yelled “15 MILLION POINTS OFF PROFESSOR SNAPE INFINTY, SUCKER!!!!!” He jumped of the table and sprinted out of the Great Hall. Snape’s left eye started to twitch as he ran out the hall yelling “COME BACK HERE, POTTER!!!!!!!”
Hermione just sat there; staring at the Great Hall doors. Well, at least I know that Harry is going to achieve his goal this year Hermione chuckled to herself. Now it was time to get the equipment for her prank on ferret face.
The next morning Draco woke up to loud music. What kind of gay, ass person would play music at this hour Draco looked at his alarm clock and it was 5:30 am!! I’M GOING TO KILL THAT DEAF BEAVER RIGHT NOW. He angrily got out of his bed and made his way to Hermione’s bedroom.
I'll say that I hate a song, then you'll go request it the whole night long
Some people say it's so wrong but even when we fight,
Girl, you turn me on
We make up and we break up all the time
We're like na na na
Then we're like yeah yeah yeah
Always like na na na
Then we're like yeah yeah yeah
No we can't make up our minds
Cause when we think we've got it right
We go na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
Na na na na
You wanna party too late
But when I do the same all you do is complain
You know that it drives me insane
When I get with you girl you make it okay
We make up and we break up all the time
We're like na na na
Then we're like yeah yeah yeah
Always like na na na
Then we're like yeah yeah yeah
“OI GRANGER, GET YOU ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!!!” Draco roared through the door. Hermione turned off the music and came out of the room, smiling innocently at Draco. “Is there anything wrong, Malfoy?”
“IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG, SHE SAYS? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT THE HELLS WRONG; YOU ARE PLAYING LOUD MUSIC AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING!!!”
“But that can’t be right because I put a silencing charm on my room so no one but me can hear it,” Hermione said convincingly.
“WELL IT DIDN’T WORK. NEXT TIME DON’T DISTRUPT MY BEAUTY SLEEP, GRANGER” commanded Draco.
“Whatever Malfoy,” replied Hermione as she shut the door in his face. “By the way; ‘beauty sleep’ Malfoy? Every time you wake up, you look like a big wart on a hippogriffs butt.”
“WELL- WELL… YOUR MUM’S CHEST HAIR!!” Draco, fuming, walked back to his room and slammed the door. That’s it I’m going owl Dracoina. I gotta talk to her. Draco went across to his room and picked up some spare parchment.
Are you awake?? – Draco
Draco went to his owl, Abraxas, and gave it the parchment. He watched it fly out the window. I wish I could be an owl. I would be free from the beaver over her. Oh and I get to look into girls rooms Draco wiggled his eyebrows at this thought. I wonder if Dracoina is awak- “OW WHAT THE DILL??!!” said Draco as his owl dropped a letter on his owners head. “Blasted bird. One day I’m going to make him into a fried chicken,” Draco mumbled.
NOW I AM!!! WHY THE HELL DID YOU WAKE ME UP, MORON??? – Dracoina (annoyed and grumpy)
30 seconds later
Well firstly, you’re my twin sister and secondly I need some help. Can you come into the Head Dorms now? - Draco
35 seconds later
You have to say please- Dracoina
30 seconds later
I swear one day I’m going to kill you Dracoina!! Fine… please?
5 minutes later
PISS OFF!!! ITS 5:40 IN THE MORNING. I’ll talk to you later at breakfast.
“Bloody idiot” Draco sighed.
O.O mmmm…I feel like some fired chicken *drools*
Draco: “NO WAY! You’re not gonna seriously eat my bird, are you?!?”
Me:” ….maybe….”
Draco: “…”
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF BLOODY HELL!
mmmm.... fried chicken *drools*