Sarah had a strange feeling that somebody was staring at her. She turned around in her seat, but couldn't see anything. They were in a heavily wooded area at the moment and the trees grew in a thick overhang over the road, casting the area in a sheet of darkness. She turned forward again. "Are we almost there?"
"Yeah, we're getting pretty close now," Bobby said. "We're pretty much on the outskirts of the prophet's sector right now. Once we get out of these woods we'll be more in the heart of it."
"That's good," she said. "I have a nervous feeling like we're being watched."
"Some of the trees have eyes, as you know by now I guess."
"Do you think we'll run into any more hostile trees?" Sarah asked.
"Nah, that's pretty rare in the city. Most of the vegetation doesn't even talk, but some of it does. Depends on the species, I guess. Some of the plants are bloodsuckers, but most of them are more or less harmless. Outside the city is another matter. The Black Jungle's a pretty scary place. Never been there myself, but I hear almost everything's dangerous there."
Sarah thought she saw something move off in the shadows to the side. "Did you see that?"
"See what?"
"I think there's something out there. This place is kind of creepy. I hate not being able to see the sky."
"Don't worry," Bobby said. "I'm sure we're all alone."
At that moment a large figure in a dark cloak stepped out into the road in front of them, blocking their way. "And just where do you think you're going?"
Bobby gave a little jump of surprise and came to an abrupt stop. It was too dark to get a good look at the figure's face but it was similar in size and stature to Bobby and the ominous looking cloak made for a rather imposing presence. "We're headed to the prophet's sector," he replied boldly.
The figure stood in silence for a moment. "And who is it that you seek?"
"We are in search of the one known as Skip," Bobby said. "Do you know of his whereabouts?"
"Perhaps. What business have you with this Skip?"
"Uh, I don't know." He turned to Sarah. "Why are we visiting Skip anyway?"
"I'm hoping he can help us find my uncle, Dr. Octavius." She couldn't help but feel a little nervous in the presence of this dark stranger.
"What makes you think Skip can help you locate this uncle of yours?"
"Well, we were told he was the best prophet in town."
"No, no, you've got it all wrong. Skip's a hack. He does everything ass-backwards for crying out loud! You don't want that guy. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Honest Steve. I'm the best fortune-teller there's ever been or ever will be. And I should know, because I can see the future! I read palms, tealeaves, tarot cards, you name it. I've even got a real nifty crystal ball! And did I mention I offer the most reasonable rates in town?"
Sarah relaxed a bit and felt the tension had disappeared from the situation. This guy didn't seem so threatening anymore. He came across like a used car salesman. "Thank you very much, but I think we'll stick with Skip. Come on Bobby, let's be on our way."
"Now hold on just a minute here. I'll give you a free donut if you use my services. Skip doesn't offer that kind of service. So can I sign you up for a reading? My tent's just a short distance away."
"That's very kind of you, but we won't be requiring your services today."
"All right, all right, you've twisted my arm." An air of desperation was entering Honest Steve's voice. "If you come with me now, I'll give you the first reading for free, the donut, and I'll even toss in a Hawaiian Shirt with my likeness on it. Now come on, it doesn't get any better than that!"
"That is a pretty good offer," Bobby said.
"Well," Sarah considered. "I suppose we could give it a try. We can always go to Skip afterwards if this proves unsatisfactory."
"Good choice, ma'am," Honest Steve said with a clear note of relief. "You won't regret this decision for a minute."
* * *
Max had little difficulty locating Timmy's rickshaw after tracing their steps back through the twists and turns of the alleyways. The pack of boars was nowhere to be seen and it appeared the rickshaw was still intact somewhat to his surprise. He figured they might have smashed it in a fit of rage, but apparently they had collected their leader and departed.
The wheel still needed to be fixed, but that turned out to be a fairly simple operation and soon they were on their way. Timmy walked with a bit of a limp but he was insistent on continuing to pull the rickshaw.
"You know," Zeke said as he sat back in his seat. "I've only been here two days and I've already managed to narrowly avoid getting the crap beat out of me twice. Is this normal around these parts?"
"Nah," Max replied while picking something out of his teeth. "It's probably just your big mouth or something. It makes people want to beat you up. I know I've wanted to smack you around on a few occasions."
"Likewise," Zeke said.
"Hey, you mind if I smoke?" Max asked.
"Why, are you on fire?"
"Ha! That's a good one!" Max slapped his knee as he pulled out a cigarette. "Mind if I use it?"
"Be my guest," Zeke shrugged his shoulders.
"You want one of these?" Max offered him the pack.
"Nah, I only indulge when I've been drinking. And between all the scares I've had today I'm pretty damn sober at the moment."
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Max said while taking a big puff. "My intoxication levels are basically non-existent at the moment. Man, sobriety's pretty depressing. We may have to hit another bar after we talk to Skip. I do better detective work with a bit of an alcoholic buzz."
"Yeah," Zeke sighed. "Sometimes I feel kind of bad that I've become so reliant on a chemical substance just to maintain a sense of sanity and happiness. Maybe I would have been better off if I'd just found God and become a religious freak or something."
Max started coughing. "What are you saying, Zeke? You're not going soft on me are you? Alcohol is the nectar of the gods! It is my religion, for crying out loud! Besides, everyone's reliant on chemical substances. The food you eat, the water you drink, the very air you breathe, are all chemical substances and where the hell would you be without them? I mean what are we if not big bags of chemicals that are constantly absorbing other chemicals?"
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Zeke said hesitantly.
"I wouldn't knock alcohol if I were you, Zeke. Between you and me, you don't have much to offer the opposite sex. You're not very good-looking, not terribly bright, not particularly interesting to talk to. You may as well make use of the inflated sense of self-worth it gives you to talk to females and hope to god they're drunk too. Maybe then you might actually pass your genes on. Hell, you were probably conceived yourself under the influence of alcohol. So drink up proudly and know that alcohol is truly the giver of life!"
"Gee, thanks Max," Zeke said dryly. "That was truly inspiring."
"No problem buddy," Max said cheerfully, missing the sarcasm entirely. "Just glad I could help."
"Hey guys?" Timmy called back weakly over his shoulder. "We've reached the prophet sector."
A large flashy colorful sign announced, "You will soon enter the Prophet Sector. It is foretold in the stars. Today's happy lucky fun number is 32!"
"Ah yes," Max smiled. "I foresee us meeting up with Skip shortly. Hopefully Sarah too."
* * *
Sarah and Bobby followed Honest Steve down a short narrow path that twisted through the woods. They soon arrived at a small purple and black striped tent, out of which he apparently ran his business. He pulled the flaps aside and gestured them in. Bobby decided to wait outside to guard the rickshaw.
The interior was lit with many candles and a thick musky aroma of incense wafted through the air. There was a small circular table in the middle of the room with a crystal ball sitting on it. Shelves filled with various trinkets and flasks of bubbling potions were pushed up against the tent walls and he had a small merchandise rack featuring the "Honest Steve Logo" on various souvenir items such as plates, postcards, and key chains.
Once inside Honest Steve whipped off his cloak, revealing a small bunny rabbit walking on stilts. He hopped down and bounced over to a chair and began peering into his crystal ball. "So, how may I predict your future today?"
"Why don't you look into the future and figure out what I'm going to ask you?" Sarah asked somewhat snidely as she sat in the chair opposite him.
"Uh, okay," Honest Steve glanced around from side to side and then sat back in his chair, closing his eyes. "I'm seeing something about some sort of missing relation. Perhaps an uncle?"
"Wait, I told you about that already," Sarah said. "Why don't you get to the part where you tell me where he's at?"
"Sure, sure, all in good time," Honest Steve said. "You can't rush a true prophetic vision. These things take a little time and preparation. In the meantime, do you want that free donut I offered you?"
"Well, I guess I am a little hungry. Okay."
Honest Steve hopped up and opened up a trunk in the corner of the room. He began digging through it, tossing various items aside, while muttering to himself. Finally he emerged with a small box. "Ah, here we are! Looks like I have one left. You're welcome to have it." He offered the box to her. The lone donut inside was bright orange, glowing, and appeared to be making a high-pitched buzzing sound. "Go on," he insisted. "It's not going to hurt you."
"Well, okay," she said and ate the donut. It was slightly stale, but still had a pleasantly sweet flavor.
Honest Steve glanced at the donut box again and his face fell into a frown. "Oops!"
Sarah swallowed the last of the donut and stared at him. "What do you mean oops? What's wrong?"
"Uh, there seems to have been a slight mix-up here. Nothing to worry about really. You might turn into a rat from time to time, but the effect should be short-lived."
"What do you mean I might turn into a rat from time to time?" Sarah asked incredulously.
"Just what I said," Honest Steve replied. "You might physically transform into a rat once in awhile, but don't worry. You'll revert to your normal self soon enough. You see, I thought that was a box of donuts but it was actually the last of my supply of Rat Cakes."
"I don't know if I like the sound of this," Sarah said uneasily.
"Here, let me get you some water. It should help to minimize the effects." He poured a large glass and handed it to her.
She gulped it down and immediately felt a strong tickling sensation in her nose, causing her to sneeze violently numerous times.
"Oops," Honest Steve said again. "Looks like I accidentally gave you some sneezing potion. That stuff looks just like water. I was actually wondering where I had put it."
"That does it," Sarah said between sneezes. "You're fired! I'm getting out of here!" She stood up and moved towards the exit.
"Wait!" Honest Steve shouted. "Don't you want your free reading? And what about your free shirt?"
"Stuff it," Sarah sneezed.
"Aw, just give me one more chance I'm begging you!" He stood up and ran towards her, tripping over one of his discarded stilts in the process, and slammed into one of his shelves, causing a large cloud of some sort of chalky substance to envelope the room. "Oops," he said again. "That looks disconcertingly like hiccup powder."
In confirmation, Sarah hiccupped and sneezed at the same time, nearly choking in the process.
"I'm terribly sorry about all of this," Honest Steve hiccupped. "I had no idea any of this was going to happen."
Sarah let out a scream of frustration and fled from the tent before any more damage could be inflicted.
"Come back soon," Honest Steve called out after her. "Be sure to tell all your friends about my low low prices!"
* * *
Bobby had to suppress a giggle as he pulled Sarah back down the trail in the rickshaw. She was still hiccupping and sneezing and she wore a deep scowl on her face. He had tried to ask her what had happened when she came running out of the tent, but she had just glared at him and told him they were seeking out Skip.
He was about to inform her that they had reached the main area of the prophet sector when he stopped short in his tracks and his face fell. "What the hell is he doing here?"
Timmy spotted him from across the street at almost the same instant and a crooked smile spread across his bruised face. "Why hello, Bobby. Fancy meeting you here!"
"Are you following me?" Bobby asked. "You annoying little fur ball! Don't you have anything better to do than pester me all the time? What the hell happened to you anyway? You look like you got hit by a Roto-Bus!"
"I was beaten by some vicious gangsters," Timmy explained. "But that's beside the point. I, too, have customers who wish to see this guy Skip. And there are two of them compared to only one customer for you, lovely though she is. Guess who's making more floss today! Ha ha!"
"Timmy, who is this person?" Max asked impatiently. "We don't have all day, you know."
"Hey, isn't that Sarah?" Zeke asked.
"Why I do believe it is," Max squinted his eyes. "Shall we go greet her?"
They climbed out of the rickshaw and walked across the street. Sarah spotted them coming between torturous sneezes and hiccups and leaped out to meet them. She walked up and punched them both in the arm as hard as she could.
"Ow!" Zeke whined. "What was that for?"
"Why did you ditch me you jerks?" She sneezed violently again.
"Gesundheit," Max replied. "We didn't ditch you. We just got drunk and forgot about you. Don't worry, it's no big deal. I get drunk and forget chicks all the time. Hell, half the reason I drink is so I can forget about my wife."
"I didn't know you were married," Zeke said.
"Yeah, what can I say? In a moment of weakness I made a stupid mistake. My life's been miserable ever since. Don't ever get married, Zeke."
"Not much danger of that happening at the moment," Zeke replied.
Sarah continued to be afflicted, but glared at them in between sneezing attacks. "So just because you were drunk I'm supposed to forgive you for leaving me behind? I can't believe you two."
"But we looked really hard for you after we realized we forgot you," Zeke said, not liking to have Sarah upset with him. "Well, after a short visit to a museum that is. But we were really worried. Hey, what's wrong with you anyway? Why are you sneezing and hiccupping like that?"
"Oh, some stupid bunny did this to me. But don't change the subject. I'm still mad at you! And did you just say that after you realized you forgot me you decided to go check out a museum?"
"It was a really neat museum," Zeke said meekly.
Sarah stared at him with an air of disbelief and then hiccupped. "I don't know what to say. You guys are both on my shit list right now. But I am glad I found you. It's nice to see some familiar faces."
Timmy took the opportunity to wander over to Sarah's side. "Speaking of familiar faces, remember me?"
"Uh, yeah," she hiccupped. "Tommy was it? You look awful."
"It's Timmy. And I braved unimaginable dangers just so I could gaze upon your illustrious beauty once more."
"Thanks, I think," Sarah said and then completely ignored him. "So we should probably be getting to Skip's now, yes?" She sneezed a few more times.
"Ha ha," Bobby taunted in his ear. "She doesn't care about you at all! You came all this way just to get rejected."
"Shut up Bobby," Timmy growled.
"And besides, I faced dangers on the way here too. I took on a whole bunch of evil trees. But unlike you I was on the giving end of the ass kicking. I saved her life in the process. She gave me a big kiss, too."
"Damn it Bobby! I hate you!"
"Well, some of us just have a way with the ladies," Bobby winked at him and turned to Sarah. "So do you actually know how to get to Skip's from here?"
"I do," Max said. "I've been there a few times, but not for awhile. He lives in a small cottage at the very edge of town. It's nestled right up against the city wall as a matter of fact. It's not too far. We could probably walk there from here."
"Do you want us to stick around to give you a ride back?" Timmy asked.
"I don't really see the point. We can always take a Roto-Bus."
"I don't like the Roto-Bus," Sarah sneezed. "It makes me want to throw up."
"We'll hang around here just in case you decide you need us," Bobby offered.
"All right," Max said. "Now let's be on our way!"