Adam tilted back the bottle and took another long swig of red wine. It was his drink of choice these days, mainly out of convenience. This place hadn’t operated as a winery in about a decade, but the cellar full of slowly aging bottles had been an unexpected perk when he moved in. He had enough self-respect to drink out of a glass most nights, but he’d heard the nanny puttering around in the kitchen this evening and decided to steer clear.
Now here he was back in the library again, surrounded by his music. The scene of the crime, he thought to himself with a dark laugh. He took another pull of wine, trying to blot out the memory of the way he’d made his daughter cry here earlier that afternoon. He’d have to make it up to her tomorrow. Maybe he’d take the day off and take her out for a spin with him in the truck.
In spite of the bitter taste the whole incident left in his mouth, Adam couldn’t help recalling the sound of the nanny’s voice, singing at the piano earlier. He’d heard a hell of a lot of wannabe pop stars trying to cover Adele songs in his day, and he could count on one hand the ones who even came close to doing it justice. But that girl, that voice – like raw, dark amber honey with just the right amount of grit – it had to be the first time he’d ever heard an Adele cover sound better than the original.
He set the bottle back down and flicked “play” on his laptop screen, listening through his headphones to the demo track he’d been sent a few hours ago. It was Amber Carrington covering one of his old Maroon 5 songs, Out of Goodbyes. This was already the third version he’d been sent, and he could tell something was still off with it, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. Maybe he was too close to it. Maybe it needed some fresh ears.
He took the headphones off and ran his thumb idly around the rim of the wine bottle. It was poised midway to lips when he heard someone knock and then open the library door without waiting for a response. He looked back over his shoulder to see the nanny standing in the doorway.
Great, he thought to himself. Now she thinks I’m a lush. He sighed. He’d been intending to give her one more chance, but there was no point letting Adele get attached to another one if it clearly wasn’t going to work out. He had to admit, he was getting pretty damn efficient at driving away nannies at this point. This one hadn’t even been here 24 hours. He raised the bottle in his hand and saluted her with it. “Care for some wine?”
“I don’t drink,” she said quietly, wrinkling her nose.
“No, of course you don’t,” Adam replied. Was there anything about him that this girl wouldn’t disapprove of? Whatever, he thought. “OK then. Good talk,” he said. “I’m a little busy here.” He put the headphones back over his ears to dismiss her.
Jane stood in front of the open doorway, unsure what she should do next. She’d been going over it in her head all afternoon, trying to figure out the best way to smooth things over so she wouldn’t get fired. She knew she was on thin ice after the way he’d reacted to the dance routine she taught Adele earlier, but she’d hoped there might still be a way to salvage things. If she had to lose this job, that would be bad enough – but if he gave a bad reference to the nanny agency, she’d really be screwed. She knew she needed to apologize, but it would help if she understood what exactly she was apologizing for. “It’s not an appropriate song for a child,” was what he’d said before he’d stormed out. What a hypocrite, she couldn’t help thinking. He was the one teaching Adele weird creepy lullabies.
Whatever, she thought. He was just a jerk. She felt her temper start to flare up again. If she had to lose this job, she may as well go out with guns blazing. It was bad enough the little girl’s mother left her behind to go gallivanting around on some never-ending world tour – but clearly Adele was starved for her father’s affection as well. It wasn’t right, and someone needed to tell him so. Someone needed to open his eyes to the harm he was doing his daughter.
Adam was trying his best to concentrate on the music playing through the headphones, but it was impossible with the nanny standing there, glowering at him. He took the headphones back off after a minute. “OK, make yourself useful then. Come listen to this.”
She hesitated.
“Come on,” he said impatiently, holding the headphones out to her.
She opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it and walked silently across the room to him instead. She slipped the headphones over her ears and heard a woman’s voice singing.
Now that I've done my time.
I need to move on and I need you to try
‘Cause we're out of goodbyes.
She stood listening for a moment before taking the headphones back off.
“What do you think?” Adam asked her.
She shrugged and looked at him in confusion. “What do you want me to say?”
“Just your honest opinion,” he prompted.
She handed the headphones back to him. “Maudlin,” she said. “And I think the key is too low maybe.”
He raised his eyebrows at her. “You know about music?”
She shrugged again. “What is it anyway?”
“Amber Carrington,” he responded.
She gave him a blank look.
“She’s got a number one on the country charts right now. You never heard of her?”
“That’s a number one?” she said, pointing at the headphones.
“No, that’s just a demo. We’re thinking about it for her new album.”
“I think the lyrics could use some work too,” she said.
“Thanks,” he chuckled. “I wrote it.”
“Sorry,” she said, blushing slightly. “I’m not really the right person to ask.”
“What do you listen to?”
She looked around the room at the shelves lined with old records and compact discs. “Do you have any Handel?” she asked him.
“Hanson?”
“No Handel. Like The Messiah?”
He screwed up his face, thinking. “Was that before or after Boyz 2 Men?”
She stared at him, her eyes wide. What kind of musician hadn’t heard of Handel’s Messiah?
“Joking,” Adam said, grimacing internally at her utter humorlessness. “Just messing with you.”
“Oh.” He seemed to enjoy messing with people, Jane thought. The music talk had distracted her, but she was reminded now of what she’d been intending to say.
“Sorry,” Adam said with another laugh that seemed to be at her expense. “Anyway, was there something you came in here to say?”
“Where’s Adele’s mother?” she asked him bluntly.
Adam squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed them for a moment with the heels of his hands. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. “Currently unavailable,” he said, putting the headphones back over his ears again to cut it short, but she just stood there looking at him again. She really did not know how to take a hint, he thought. “You can go now, ” he added, without removing the headphones.
Jane put her hands on her hips. She wasn’t going anywhere.
He rolled his eyes in annoyance. “You do get that I pay you, right? You are what’s called an ‘employee.’ This is what’s called a ‘job.’” He made air quotes with his hands as he spoke.
“Well, I just need a little more information in order to do my ‘job.’” She made the air quotes back at him.
“About her mother? Why do you need to know?”
“I need to know what to tell her if she asks me when her mother’s coming back.”
Adam stared at her dumbfounded for a minute. “When? Well, let’s see. I’m thinking probably… never.”
Jane didn’t even try to conceal the disgust she felt at his answer.
“I’m sorry if you find that unsatisfactory,” Adam continued with a tight smile, “but you’re more than welcome to ask your agency for a new placement if this isn’t going to work out.”
Unsatisfactory? Jane couldn’t believe he was so blasé about the whole thing. Didn’t he know how it felt to have your mother walk away from you? It was his own daughter! Didn’t he care at all? “I just think when you bring a child into the world, you have an obligation to be there for her, wanted or not.”
Adam took off his headphones and stared at them. Did she really just have the nerve to say that? None of the other nannies had ever dared to pry into his personal business before. He needed to shut this conversation down now, before it got any uglier. Without thinking, and without looking up, he said the first words that popped into his head. “She’s dead,” he said in a flat voice. “Adele’s mother is dead.”
Another lie. What was it about this girl that made it so impossible for him to tell the truth?
Jane’s eyes widened in surprise. Her heart stopped for a moment at his words, and she stood frozen in place, watching him. The room was silent but for the ticking of the wall clock and the faint sound of the music coming from the headphones in his hands. She could just make out lyrics that the woman’s voice was singing:
On our way home I realize
There’s some kind of storm brewing in his eyes,
Only veiled by a thin disguise.
The moment lengthened, and finally Adam looked up at her. His eyes had been laughing at her every moment since she’d arrived at this place, but she saw now that it had been an act – that laughter. A mask he wore to cover up what she saw in his eyes now. Anger. Pain. She felt the color rise to her cheeks as a wave of shame washed over her. “Oh God, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Adele told me—“
“She’s a three year old,” he said, as she watched the fire go out of his eyes, replaced by an icy coldness. “She makes shit up.”
“I’m sorr—“
“Forget it,” he cut her off. “Just go.”
Jane turned and stumbled toward the door.
“And Amy,” she heard him call after her. She stopped and stood with her hand on the doorknob, not daring to correct him, not daring to turn around and face him again.
“Not that it’s any of your business,” he said to her back, so softly she could barely make out the words, “but she was wanted. Adele, I mean. She was very wanted.”