HARRY
Up until this point of time, I could not fully grasp the exact detail of what would happen to Niall. All I knew now was that he had his one foot in the grave, and the thought of his life being on the verge of the end was something too dreadful to think about.
Here I was, all alone again in my new room, my mind contemplating too hard about what would be my best friend’s fate. Mike told us that he would do everything that he could just to save Niall’s life, but there would always be that minute chance of bereavement along the way. At times like these, you could never tell what was about to come, everything was uncertain, especially when you’re talking about someone’s life that had been put to paramount risk. Anything could happen, but of course, all I wanted was the best for Niall – and that’s for him to live.
“Harry, breakfast is ready!”
Louis suddenly came in with a bowl of noodles in his hands, smiling blissfully as he walked and sat on the chair next to my bed. His actions were quite unpredictable sometimes, and the least I could do was to smile in his efforts to make me in high spirits, despite all of the dilemmas we were facing.
“Open your mouth, big guy,” he said after blowing the spoonful of noodles to ease the balminess of the soup.
“What are you doing?” I asked while I tried to control a laugh escaping from my mouth.
“Don’t tell me you’re not hungry. You’ve been unconscious for several hours yourself. You’ll soon realize that you have to eat, right? Now come on, here comes the plane!”
My endeavors of keeping my laugh ultimately failed, and Louis did so himself. I knew what he was trying to do, and so I just decided to go on with the flow, letting him conceal the perceivable pain and sadness I was feeling. With that given, I opened my mouth, letting Lou’s so-called illusory plane of noodles into the dark tunnel of my orifice. And truth be told, he was right. I was quite famished, given the fact that I was knocked out for a couple of hours after the tragic episode outside in London.
“Where am I Lou? I mean, are we still in London?”
“Yes we are, somewhere in Liverpool Road.”
“How long have you been with them?”
“Ever since that night when we got all separated, Mike saw me while I was calling out for you, but those monsters were starting to kill all the people in the arena, and he came by to get me. He and Hannah witnessed the outbreak,” he said forlornly, while trying to recall those times of pure dread.
Still, I could not recollect the remaining fragments of those memories of what happened that night, and as much as I wanted to bring them to mind, there was this part of me that did not want to. Probably, it’s because it was one of the most desolate experiences I had that was not worthy to reminisce.
“Harry, we don’t have to talk about this,” he said insistently, his expression changing from being almost at elation to sudden melancholy.
“You’re right Lou. I’m sorry.”
And in just like that, our moment of having a conversation came to a sojourn. Both of us ran out of words to say, and clearly our minds were filled with thoughts of concern and foreboding. From now and then, he would stop his inane approach of feeding me, staring vacantly out of space with nothing particular to gape at. From the way he acted, Louis was troubled like I was, for the thought of Niall being on the brink of demise was just too deplorable. So then, I took the bowl of noodles from his hand, and I insisted to eat myself, and smiled remorsefully subsequently to my gesture. This feeling of extreme dismay we had now had this power to take the reins of our emotions, and it was something that was too difficult to control.
“Lou?”
“Yeah Harry?”
“How is he? Is he going to be alright?” I asked those questions with tremendous amounts of despair; still hoping for everything would be in God’s hands for Niall.
“Of course he will be alright. He’s going to be fine. He will be okay,” he assured me, although I was not fully persuaded with my best friend’s answer. I wanted proof that Niall would be okay. I just did not want to be sitting here, laying at ease in a bed of little worth, while I should be with him to where he was at this time, and showing at least my support by being right beside him.
“Can I see him?”
Louis looked at me with a fusion of concern and shock, like he did want to consider my request. But there was this thought in my head that I could not blame him, for he might have his own reasons for his second thoughts. However, my mind was set for that wish to be fulfilled, because his absence over almost a day was becoming intolerable for my part.
I wanted to see him. That was all I wanted.
Heaving a sigh of renunciation, he nodded in response but gave me a little admonition.
“Just five minutes, okay? Hannah might get mad at me for letting you stand after having your stitches just fixed up.”
I failed to stop myself from smiling after he said that, and I nodded back. For a second, I thought that I would still not be able to see my best friend, but finally, all of my worries would at least be gone for the time being. At least now I would be able to see him, that’s the first thing that mattered.
As difficult and painful as it was, I tried my best to put off the agony that my body was sensing as Louis helped me get out of my bed. Every step was almost a hassle, like my legs were being submerged to a blazing flame as the wound was implying of the searing pain that I had received from the gunshot. With Louis’ hands supporting my back and my arm, we slowly trudged outside of the room and into the hallway. Instead of going to the right where I had made my painful stumble, he guided me on the opposite side of the corridors, where three brown doors were to be found.
“Few more steps Harry, we’re almost there,” he said reassuringly.
My heart was beginning to beat at full speed. Images of Niall, lying lifelessly on a bed, with his eyes closed, were starting to form in my head, and they were too disheartening to witness. If that would be the case, what more would it be if I’d be looking at him like that in reality? It would be way more distressing to see him like that, and that moment was just a few seconds away.
We stopped by the door in between the other two entries as Louis opened the entrance. Somehow, I was beginning to learn how to become accustomed to the somatic pain I was feeling. Maybe it’s my anticipation and tension of seeing Niall’s presence that was helping me to overcome them, and I supposed that it was a good thing.
He opened the door for me, and the two of us made our way slowly inside. The room had the similar features like the one I had stayed in, but instead of seeing photos of supposedly Mike and Hannah’s family, little pink decorations, toys and dolls of different kinds were muddled up in boxes on the right side, denoting that it may have had been once belonged to a little girl. Everything else was plain, like the walls had been stripped away with vivid colors and life, replaced by dreary shades of cream and white.
As soon as my eyes took their gaze on the left, I froze in place. I could hear my heart hammering in my chest which seemed to be echoing in my head. Louis’ hand did not leave my arm, and the two of us carried on to walk towards the bed made of nothing but plain, white sheets, concealing half of his body under the warmth that it was providing. My friend then helped me get myself seated on the white, plastic chair beside the bed, and that was where I got my first look on his face.
If only he was responding, I would have had given him my warm hug at this moment, but seeing him like this, lifeless, unresponsive, sent a twinge of pain in heart. The only thing that marked his life was his measured movement of his breathing, and that was one thing that mattered. His blond hair was a mess, all ruffled up on his head. His face looked like that of an angel, even with his eyes closed, indulging himself into a seemingly peaceful sleep. At this time, I was thinking that he should just be relishing his sleep, so that he would not feel the pain and the burden that he would soon experience a few moments from now, but at the same time, I wanted him to be awake, so that he could see me and Louis, both kicking and alive. There were so many things that I wanted to tell him at this point, but I had no idea when would be that time that I would see him, alive, again.
“Hey Nialler, Harry’s here,” I said in almost like a whisper, as I put my hand on his, stroking my fingers on his supple hand.
“Hey, wake up Niall. If you…if you don’t wake up, I’m going to tickle you, even though I’m in pain right now. You know that I’m the worst person to come into during tickle wars, right?” I was squeezing his hand this time, hoping that with my gestures, he would feel my touch, and then he would wake up from his rest.
“Oh look Niall! I got Nando’s for you, and Nutella. Your favorites are right here. Come on…please wake up.”
“Harry –” Louis spoke softly as he was consolingly rubbing my back.
“It’s time to get up, in the morning. Got McDonald’s breakfast for you. Louis and I drove miles to get it, so you better get up and get it.”
“Haz, he’ll wake up soon. He’s going to be okay.”
“You’re so unfair Ni, you know? You’re singing me that silly song to wake me up. Now I’m singing it to you, and you’re not. Come on now.”
“Harry, please stop it.”
“No, I won’t stop until he gets up. I…I won’t stop Lou. He has to wake up!”
I began to realize that I was getting hysterical, desperately wanting for my friend to be conscious again. I wanted him to move, to open his eyes, so that I could see those blue circles of life again. And once he does, I would not hesitate to hug him. Yeah, that’s what I would do. All he needed to do was to wake up.
“Sorry boo, I’m sorry.”
I never came to this point of being emotional almost all of the time. Come to think of it, I had been on my own, all alone in my home, bearing the idea that I was the last living man on Earth, and I did not cry that much. How ironic it was that when I finally found people whom I love, considering the fact that finally, after all those times of surviving lethal attacks from the Creatures, I was not alone and yet I was in tears again? My soul was starting to be filled up with a discord of emotions. I was worried so much that he would not wake up, that the only hope of saving his life was just too hard to reach, and Mike was just giving us false hopes for his survival.
“I don’t understand. It could’ve been me Lou. It should just be me, not him. He deserves to live, not me!”
“Harry, don’t you even dare say that! Niall is still alive. He’s going to be okay. And Niall wouldn’t want to hear that from you, keep that in mind. He wants you to live, don’t give up. Please…just don’t give up Harry –” I could tell from the way he talked, Louis was trying to fight off his tears.
I did not know what to believe in. But as far as I knew, Niall certainly did not deserve to be in this situation. It could’ve had been me. I could tolerate the pain. If only time could come back, I would take that chance to change everything. I could handle the pain myself, and I don’t want him to suffer.
“He didn’t even do anything wrong! We didn’t do anything wrong! We…I just tried to save that little girl…I don’t understand. Who did this to him?” I asked in an unexpected strident voice, not intending to shout at Louis, but despite of my actions, he still tried to comfort me by resting his head on my shoulder.
“Who did this Lou?”
“Harry –” I looked up as soon as I heard my name.
“It was me Harry. It was me.”