"Demi... calm down... you're having a panic attack." Nick's voice sounded alarmed, as he ran his hand over my hair, his attempt at soothing me. I put my hands on my forehead, so I could breathe & forget where I was as Nick put his arm around me. "Take short breaths. Look at me, Demi." He said, his voice stern, so I looked at him. "Breathe." He was looking into my eyes. After a few minutes of me breathing, I started to feel myself calming down. "Are you okay, now?" Nick asked, in a quiet voice & I nodded. "Good. Now... to address your concerns. I am not, technically, going to be going into combat. I told you that before, but I am going to reenlist instead of doing training on a voluntary basis. They've been observing me & my colonel is going to have an assessment filled out by my doctor because they need me cleared before I can do all that they want e to do." Nick paused & looked down.
"What do they want you to do? Why do you have to reenlist? You could have to be in the middle of combat if we go to war if you reenlist."
"No. I'm pretty high up in the ranks so I wouldn't be in combat. Most likely, anyway. What they want me to do is more than I could do on a voluntary basis. So, in addition to being able to do all that I can for the Corps, I decided to reenlist because it means more money & it means a better retirement. Being active gives me more access & more ability to do what needs to be done. I can be in control of my training. I told you before that they want me to train troops that are going to be going into combat, if necessary. It's a huge responsibility. It's an amazing opportunity, but I won't be going into war. I'll be making sure that our guys can win, if they have to go into war. Plus I can also train mechanics. If I'm active, then I can do all these jobs & these jobs are important, if we ever do find ourselves at war again."
I kept breathing, nodding my head, then I smiled, somehow. "You promise you're not going to be fighting? You're not going to be on the front lines like you were before?"
"I promise. Unless a real war breaks out, I won't be doing any actual combat stuff. Now, can we go back to sleep?"
"Yea. Sorry." I said as he leaned to kiss me, then we both laid down & he slid his arm around my middle. Nick was asleep within seconds, but I laid there for awhile, not able to turn my brain off. I still had a bad feeling & I didn't even know why. At some point, I fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up, suddenly, since I had to go to the bathroom. Damn baby was gonna make me piss myself. I didn't even notice the bed was empty until I came out of the bathroom. Nick wasn't in the bedroom, anywhere, so I headed downstairs, to find him. I found Nick, sitting on the steps, staring out the sliding glass doors, looking like he had a lot on his mind.
I tiptoed toward him & wasn't quiet enough, because he jumped, as I got closer, then turned to look up at me. "Good morning, Beautiful. You hungry?" He reached his hand out as he stood up & slipped it around my waist when I got close enough. I sighed when he kissed the side of my head.
"I could eat. I should eat, actually, because if not, your son will inflict heartburn on my ass."
Nick laughed, then took my hand & led me, down the steps, to the kitchen, where he helped me sit on the stool. I loved watching him, in the kitchen, because he worked so efficiently, which made me smile. He learned the basics, while he was training in the Marines & he started to watch cooking shows after we got married. "What are you in the mood for? Eggs? Oatmeal? Bagel?" He asked, opening the fridge.
I took a deep breath, resting my hand on my stomach. "Oatmeal sounds good. And toast."
"Coming right up." He replied, floating around the kitchen to get all the ingredients.
I watched Nick for a few minutes, then decided to have a discussion, since I was still unsure of what to expect with his new career direction. "So why do they want you to do this important training? Don't they know you're about to be a father?"
Nick chuckled as he put the pieces of toast on a plate & started buttering them. "Baby, I'm not the only guy in the military that is a father. Lots of Dads in the armed forces. They want me... because I'm the best. I've gotten medals & I have the best stats for sharpshooting."
"You're so modest." I grinned, leaning on my hand.
"It's true."
"Sharpshooting? That's like a sniper, right?"
Nick tried not to laugh as he nodded his head. "I am the most precise, out of all the snipers that trained with me, so of course they want me. I was top of my class when I finished sniper basic training, then they sent me to Hawaii, to attend the biggest training school for snipers & I was acing all the classes. When I got sent overseas, I was sent, primarily, as a sniper. Anyway, they wanted me to train back before I got hurt, but... shit happened... so now they see an opportunity again. I would be a marksman trainer. Pretty big deal in the Marines, my love."
"Why do you have to be so good at everything?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
Nick brought my breakfast over to me & smirked as he leaned on his arms. "You don't usually complain when I'm good at something."
I cocked an eyebrow as I stirred my oatmeal. "Well, being good at sex, benefits me. Being good at shooting people, doesn't benefit me."
"It benefits our country, which benefits you & our baby's future."
I sighed, taking a bite of my oatmeal. I chewed it, quickly. "You've made your point & thank you for breakfast. It's delicious."
"You're welcome."
"Are you eating, too?"
"I had coffee when I got up & made a smoothie, so I'm good." He stood up straight.
"How long have you been up?"
"A few hours. I'm used to getting up at six when I train, so..."
I nodded, as I took another bite of my cereal. Nick looked away & I felt like he was keeping something from me. "What aren't you telling me?" I asked, after letting my spoon fall in the bowl.
Nick's eyes darted back to my face & he tried to look innocent. I flashed him a look & crossed my arms to let him know I wasn't letting this go. He sighed, rolling his eyes, knowing I had won. "I'm going to be doing a lot of traveling, if I'm cleared & can reenlist. I'm going to be missing a lot of the pregnancy, but it really can't be avoided. My sergeant wants me to start right away & do as much training as I can over the next few months. I'll be doing sniper training as well as mechanical."
I closed my eyes & took a deep breath, then let it out, slowly. "So, you'll be gone." I said, then opened my eyes. "You're going to miss it all. Got it. You'll probably be gone when it's born, too." I nodded, trying not to cry.
Nick came around to my side of the counter & put his finger under my chin, to raise my head up to look at him. "I told my colonel that I want to be at home or very close to home once it gets to be close to your due date & he's fine with that. I plan on being there when our son is born. I wouldn't let you do it alone."
"Promise?"
Nick sighed, smiled, then leaned to kiss me. "I promise."
"Good." I smiled, as he kissed me again, then I turned to finish my breakfast.
I was anxious over the next several weeks, a few times having an actual panic attack when I thought about my nightmares of Nick being in a fire or in an explosion. I couldn't shake the bad feeling I had & it made life kind of miserable. Of course, I didn't tell Nick about my nightmares or my panic attacks, because I didn't want him to worry or fuss over me. Instead, I just pretended I was fine.
A few days before Valentine's day, I decided to get my hair done. I needed a change & needed something to focus on besides Nick, not being around. I had my hair colored to a dark brown & also got it cut into a short bob. I thought the shorter length would be easier to take care of when I had a baby to care for. I felt great when I saw the finished look & I felt sexier for some reason. I wasn't sure how Nick would like it, since he always seemed to love my long hair. I'd had many different hair colors but this was the first time I'd had my hair this short.
Nick had been up in San Diego for a few days & was coming home the day I got my hair done. He wanted to go to dinner that night, for what I thought was an early Valentine's day celebration. He told me to put on a dress & be ready to go by five o'clock. He said he was coming home, then & he was going to be ready to head out.
I decided to not be ready when Nick came home. Well, not the kind of ready he had told me to be, but I was a different kind of ready. I had been extremely frisky for the last several weeks which was difficult since Nick wasn't home that much. I wasn't really in the mood to go out to dinner anyway. I just wanted to spend time with my husband in bed, since it had been weeks since we'd been able to be in bed together for longer than a few hours. Not to mention, I had no idea how long we'd have together before he'd have to leave again.
When I heard Nick pull in, I ran up to my bedroom, stripped off my clothes & got in the bed, my back facing the door. I had the comforter covering my lower half, in hopes that he'd notice my new hair first. I heard him call out my name, so I yelled, "I'm up in the bedroom!" I put my hands in my hair, trying to be sexy when Nick came in the room.
I heard his footsteps on the staircase, then his voice sounded closer, "You ready to go to dinner?" I didn't answer, then I heard the door open & what sounded like Nick sucking in his breath. "Uh.. Demi? Is that you?"
I turned my head to gaze over my shoulder at him, giving him a sexy look as I nodded my head. "Who else would it be, silly?"
"You just don't look pregnant from the back & then the hair..."
"You like it?" I asked, in a throaty voice.
His eyes were huge as he scanned my naked body, then he looked back at my hair & nodded, an adorable grin on his face. "You look beautiful."
I stuck my lower lip out. "Just beautiful? I was going for sexy."
Nick licked his lips. "Oh you look sexy, too. And really hot."
I turned around to walk toward him, on my knees. When I got close enough he grabbed my face so he could kiss me, intensely. "So you like the short hair?" I asked when our lips parted.
"Yep. As long as I still have something to put my hands in...." He murmured, grabbing a handful of my hair to show me what he meant, then he pulled me to him, so he could kiss me, passionately. "Do you want to get dressed so we can go to dinner?"
"I'm incredibly horny..." I said, running my hand along his chest, then slipped it inside the part of his shirt that was unbuttoned. "Maybe you can get undressed & make love to me before we get dressed." I looked up at him from under my lashes & bit my lip. Nick didn't reply with words, instead he started unbuttoning his shirt then I helped him finish when he wasn't moving fast enough for me. Once he was completely naked, he got on his knees on the bed & grabbed my face to kiss me again, this time not holding back at all.
After minutes of kissing my mouth, he began kissing down my neck, then my chest before he began kissing my stomach. I laid back on the bed & let him devour me, with his hungry mouth, sending an orgasmic wave over my entire body. Once he was done pleasuring me with his mouth, he got up on his knees & lifted my lower half so he could slide his er.ection into my aching hole. Almost immediately I was moaning from the sheer pleasure of feeling him inside me. It felt like it had been longer than a few weeks, so I was pretty vocal.
I closed my eyes & reveled in the excitement that my body felt from Nick sliding in & out of me. His one hand skimmed my leg, bringing it up to his shoulder so he could kiss the side of my calf. His other hand touched my c.lit, with the exact amount of pressure to make my building org.asm even more intense. I opened my eyes & they locked with Nick's & I could see how badly he wanted to be closer to me. My growing bump was an obstacle but Nick leaned down on his hands, keeping his body from squishing the bump & he kissed me, sensually. He stared into my eyes as he kissed me, our climax getting closer with each thrust. This went on for minutes, then finally we both let go & moaned in unison, sounding like we were trying to outmoan the other one. Once the peak started to plummet us back to reality, Nick collapsed beside me.
"Damn. That was good. I needed that." Nick chuckled beside me as I turned, on my side, to face him. "You want to get dressed? I'm starving."
"Do we have to go out? Can we order takeout & stay in bed all night? We can rent a movie on tv or watch something on Netflix."
"I guess we don't have to go out. I'll go get the menus." Nick said as he got up. I watched his perfect, muscular back as he slipped on his boxers, then kept admiring his body as he stood up & left the room.
Nick ordered our food, then we cuddled in bed, searching movies while we waited for the food to come. Once it did, Nick paid for it then brought it back up to the bedroom, where he sat it between us, on the bed. He handed me my carton then started eating what he ordered. After I took a few bites, Nick cleared his throat. "I talked to my sergeant while I was up in San Diego. I passed the evaluation, with flying colors, so I got the green light to enlist again. So I did." His voice was quiet as he knew this news was upsetting to me. "They want me in North Carolina in three days, for two weeks, then I'll go to Virginia for two weeks right after, that." Nick spoke as he watched my face closely.
I put my carton down with a sigh. "I've suddenly lost my appetite." I frowned, wanting to burst into tears. Nick didn't say anything. He just kept eating, which annoyed me so I rolled my eyes & sighed louder. "Are you going to be able to come home between trips?" I asked & when I saw the expression on his face, I knew the answer. "So you'll be gone for four weeks? That's just fucking great." I looked off, so I wouldn't cry harder than I was already.
"Demi, this is my job." Nick's voice was soft, but he didn't sound regretful.
"Your job was supposed to be a mechanic & you were supposed to be here."
"I'm sorry. You knew this was a possibility."
I leaned on my hand & closed my eyes. "Not at first. I thought you were done with the Marines." I looked at Nick, my eyes narrowed. "When I married you I was marrying a retired Marine who was a fucking mechanic."
Nick winced, like I slapped him. "So you wouldn't have married me if I was still an active Marine?"
I swallowed, thinking about his question. I didn't know how to answer it, because a part of me thinks I wouldn't have married him if he had been an active Marine. I knew that would hurt him, if I told him. I did love him though, so maybe I would have married him anyway. I didn't know the exact answer because it didn't happen that way. Did I tell him how I was feeling, letting him know the truth about what would have happened if the circumstances had been different? Or did I keep lying to him telling him what he wanted to hear? As I looked at him, he had his head down, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his head. I couldn't help but notice how sad he looked. I didn't want to break his heart even more.