Once Bright
As my heart dies.
My mouth lies.
I tell them I'm ok.
Because I know that's what they need me to say.
But I'm not, I'm far from it.
I don't want to deal with any of this shit.
Yesterday I was sad.
Today I'm mad.
I don't even want to think of what tomorrow might bring.
I know I'm supposed to remember the good things.
I'm supposed to go on living.
Go on loving and giving.
But I don't want to.
I just want to see and talk to you.
I'm tired of the stages of grief.
I'm tired of trying to believe.
That it's going to get better one day.
That thru this pain I will find a way.
Its not true.
I will never get over loosing you.
Each time one of my love ones dies.
A peace of my heart dies with them, and my soul cries.
My soul was once bright.
Now it has lost all of its colorful light.
My heart has turned black.
And I don't know if it will ever turn back.
S.N.M.