❝THERE IS NOT, WAS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE SOMEONE JUST LIKE YOU.❞
❝LET'S BE THANKFUL THEN .❞
When Sawyer was a young girl with a thirst for adventure and the brightest light inside her, she dreamed of becoming a soldier. Who would've thought? She was prone to get muddy, destroying her mother's favourite shoes for her and obliterating the pastel dresses her father continuously bought in faint hope she'd eventually stop destroying them. But with a vivid imagination, she'd pretend to be the hero and sprint across the school field with a pretend assault rifle in her arms and save her comrades from the 'bad guys.' So amongst the company of her friends, she believed she would become a soldier and everything would be perfect.
But situations change, and so do people.
Before long, the pressures of being a young girl in the battlefield that was outside her front door only grew. Watching her male friends only grow more confident and carefree with the passing years whilst the rules and restrictions for her safety as a girl only grew, she lost the light inside of her and her once profound bravery was replaced by a profound fear of everyone and everything through the cruelty of the world. She grew to become terrified meeting people, walking out alone at night and venturing through alleyways by herself.
Everything within that affirmed qualities that would forge her into a soldier disappeared and she was abruptly stripped of her independence; the only reminder it was ever there being the quiet reminiscence of what her younger self would think if she had known she'd grow to become as timid and afraid Sawyer was . . .
The rest of the duration of the day dragged on.
Sawyer remained silent about his intentions for the entire day, not wanting to create herself a burden and stir up panic in anyone, instead lying that his unnecessary outburst was due to the stress of being late to work.
But unbeknownst to her, her encounter's intentions seeped deeper than his warning to her. It was the same man of whom parked outside her house and studied her intensively whilst she flinched at every passing person. But even without knowing that, his manipulative demeanour was enough to eliminate her confidence and endorse fear.
She dreaded returning home for at least she was generally safe in the company of customers and Tamila. The passing faces, of new and old, kept her mind off him for a few moments throughout the day but as the shift initially drew to an end and Tamila asked for a lift home, Sawyer knew she'd have to push her petty terror episode aside.
As Tamila locked up the coffee shop, the dark, muggy sky began to grumble and splutter, harbingering rain as Sawyer sighed, fumbling with her keys to unlock her car. As she flicked over each key, a sudden violent clash of lightning and instant downpour of rain startled her already present paranoia, causing her to drop her keys as she jumped at the sound.
After a seconds realisation, she closed her eyes in relief that it was just lightning and dropped to her knees to pick up her keys, mentally grumbling at how pathetic she currently was. Retrieving the drenched collection of keys in her hand, she suddenly paused at the sound of a dog whimpering from under her car. She furrowed her eyebrows, what on Earth?
Lowering herself on to her chest, she looked to her right under her car to examine as her clothes began to soak in the wet ground. Her perplexed expression only grew at the sight of no dog, causing her to slowly pull herself back on her feet. Flipping her set of keys in her hand, she forced her lips into a firm line and walked around her car to its other side.
No dog? Was she going insane?
"Sawyer!-" she flinched in her stance, startled by the screaming voice as Tamila ran towards the car. "Unlock this goddamn door! My curls are going to fall flat!"
Sawyer replied with a distant mind as she clicked the button on her key, "yeah, yeah," as she continued to stare around the parking lot in search for the dog before Tamila protested inside the car with the window down.
"Sawyer!" instantly Sawyer snapped out of her trance and realised she was getting soaked with the rain. Casting one last, quick look, she frowned and rushed to get into her car.
⌁
Sawyer sat on her bed, her face gently lit by the light from her second hand, run down laptop as she quietly snacked on a granola bar. Her apartment was completely blackened out with her curtains drawn shut in every room, the front door bolt locked to exclude any unwanted company from getting inside.
A granola bar was all she had to her name with her Thailand expedition sponging up the majority of her salary, but a granola bar for food was better than nothing. She could possibly scrummage through her suitcase for a few un-exchanged dollars, perhaps $3, but she point blank refused to leave her apartment alone and so late.
As she bit her bar, endlessly but ironically scrolling through upcoming volunteering expeditions, her mind wandered back to the man in the coffee shop. She fumbled around the idea as to why he'd asked if she knew Sam and she wasn't truthful to his question- but then again, wasn't she?
She didn't know ought about Sam except for a face and name, but with that said, the intimidating man knew her name, face and that she'd conversed with Sam. Chewing on the lump she'd bitten off, she stared at the search engine wondering as to how she was the only one so out of loop with information.
Her journal sat on her bedside table, eerily begging for her to write in it but as she looked to it, she shook her head and began to type into the search bar.
Sam| ...
Samsung
Sam Claflin
Sam Smith
She bit her lip, not recognising his name anywhere. He wasn't entirely famous and that soothed her anxiety a small amount, at least she wasn't that out of the loop.
Sam Wi| ...
Sam Winchester
Sam Witwicky
Sam Wilkinson
She shook her head, resorting in typing his full name, hoping that was his actual name unless he was that wanted that he needed a fake identity.
Sam Wilson| ...
Nothing relatively suspicious instantly came up, which caused her to question wether his name was in fact a decoy. However, as she scrolled the page, a Twitter thread appeared with mentions of his name from oldest to newest. Furrowing her eyebrows, she ate the last chunk of her granola bar before clicking on the link.
@NBCnewstwitter: Pt. Yowans brutally killed by suicide bomber in Afghanistan, best friends Rickie Thomas and Sam Wilson give their memoir.
Attachment: http:agksafghanistanptpicture
@CLOUDNEWSTWITTER: US soldiers return from Afghanistan, soldiers Jacob Sanders, Sam Wilson and Eugeune Jones among them. More on this at 10:00pm tonight.
She paused, her heart heavy at the knowledge he'd served in the army and witnessed a best friend horrifically killed whilst doing so. Her lip quivered as the thought replayed in her mind. She had witnessed the carnage and heartbreak of strangers on expeditions and that was heart breaking, she couldn't even imagine witnessing it on someone she adored and loved.
Yet, the question still remained.
"Come on Sam," she mumbled to herself as she scrolled through endless tweets, none of which relevant to her knowledge, "what have you done," she muttered before her mobile began to blare through her bedroom, nearly taking her breath from her with such a scare.
Huffing at her unnecessary adrenaline rush like she'd survived a war, she stumbled across her bed in the dark to reach the lit screen of her mobile. Grasping the phone in her hand, the caller ID read: Mam, so she slid accept, pressed speaker and collapsed back on to the bed on her back.
"Sawyer sauce, you alright honey? I've not heard from you since Thailand," her mothers voice lapsed through the phone as she reached her arm out, sliding her finger on the pad to scroll through Twitter as she continued to search from laying down.
"I'm alright, sorry I didn't get the chance to call the past few days have been manic you can say," Sawyer replied, searching through Twitter to no avail, "how's everyone your side?"
"We're all fine, just waiting for you to phone us one day with the news you've met a boy," she chuckled, Sawyer instinctively knowing she was wiggling her eyebrows suggestively despite her not being able to see.
"Mam to be honest, I've had just about enough with men," she hinted at her struggles as her finger continued to scroll through Twitter before her mother thought she was indicating towards something else.
"Oh, so are you a-"
"No mam-" she instantly objected, "just barely able to focus on myself right now," Sawyer rolled her eyes, the idea of her father's reaction causing her to inwardly laugh as it was of great contrast to her mothers accepting attitude.
"Right well, are you well fed over there? Have you got enough food?"
Sawyer frowned sadly, glancing down to her stomach as it almost ached at the mention of food, "I'm completely well fed," she lied sadly as she stared at the roof, "my cupboards are overflowing, I just come back from shopping actually, you're lucky you caught me."
Her mother sighed in relief, "that's great to hear because I'm telling you, the moment I hear you're struggling, you're straight back home you hear me Miss," she scolded playfully before a tweet caught Sawyer's eye.
Quickly pulling herself to sit up, she stopped scrolling and began to read the tweet.
@AdelaideEspinosa367: legit just saw steve rogers speak to my uncles friend from tour in afghanistan, sam wilson. here's my ticket to marrying cap america guys.
"Sawyer, you still there?" Her mothers voice pestered as everything began to click in place, her mouth widening as her mother continued before her father sounded in the background followed by laughter.
"Laura, how the hell do I upload this picture on to Facebook? It's bloody impossible!"
"Come here you daft sod," static sounded as Sawyer paid no attention, "Sawyer babes, I'm going to have to go, your father is useless when it comes to technology. I love you okay, stay out of any trouble."
"You underestimate how ordinary I am, mam," she mumbled as she opened an attachment, Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers evidently conversing in it, "I love you too."
With another final goodbye, the line ended and Sawyer was quietly alone, staring at a picture of two heroes. If she hadn't felt ordinary before, she did immensely then.
"No goddamn way," she muttered, reaching for the wrapper of her granola bar for another bite before frowning at the empty packet. Tipping it upside down, not a single crumb tumbled out as her stomach began to protest at its emptiness.
Placing her hand on her stomach, a scratching sound suddenly came from her front door. She instantly froze, her blood turning cold as she listened to the scratches. Unsure she'd mistaken her stomach for it, she timidly crawled along her bed to her bedroom door to listen more intently.
She listened for the continuous noise for a few moments and after declaring it wasn't her stomach, she raced to the side of her bed for her baseball bat before tripping dramatically on the wooden floor. As she hit the floor with a 'whoop,' she bit her sleeve to muffle any further noises from her before finally retrieving it.
Rising to her feet she made her way to the front door, blinded by the darkness before pausing at the prominent noise. It wasn't a human noise, it sounded like an animal asking to be let in- the dog.
She rushed towards the door, dropping the baseball instantaneously to the floor before unlatching the lock. Opening the door, a burst of light entered as the same German Shepherd raced in, its fur soaked and it's body trembling with the cold.
Instinctively turning the light on, her heart jumped in content at the sight of the homeless dog before her expression fell at the sight of it in pain. The dog threw itself on to the floor whimpering which instantly urged her into instinct as she ran to her bedroom, ransacking her wardrobe for blankets.
Throwing some onto her bed, she ran back to the dog as she continued to mutter, "what the hell, what the hell!" Wrapping some on to its freezing, wet body, she ruffled some of his fur out of his eyes, "stay here, I'll be right back- hold on," she fussed before she darted to her bathroom and began to run a warm bath.
As it run, she rummaged through her cupboards for a first aid kit and a few towels before diverting her attention back to the bath. Placing a hand in the bath to test the water, she checked the warmth wasn't scolding or too cold and with a satisfied declaration that it was alright, she rushed back into her hallway.
She froze, her expression contorting in disbelief.
"You've got to be goddamn joking."
The dog had left, leaving the dirty blankets on the floor and evidently leaving the door wider than it had been. The dog was injured and cold, if she didn't help it in some way it'd likely die.
"Screw it," she mumbled to herself as she quickly reached for a coat and her shoes before grabbing a flashlight and blankets, locking her front door behind her. The door slammed as she run down the street, hoping to find the injured dog as darkness consumed the dwindling streets.