Lauren POV
Do we all have a purpose in life? Or are we just here to live until we die and then that's the end? Are we just a part of evolution?
All of these unanswered questions are what I think about when I'm supposed to be doing work in this boring Advanced Math class. I love math but I already knew what the teacher struggled to explain to the class; I think even to himself. Their inferior minds never cease to amuse me as they struggle to comprehend what I think is not academically challenging.
I'm not actually that self-absorbed. It's just how my mind works when I daydream. It creates its one fantasy world where I rule everything with my mind. I guess maybe because I always want to be intellectually challenged to improve my skills. Some might say I am a bit of an over-achiever. I say that I do what I need to make my dreams come true; science of course. I mainly want to focus on the creation of any and everything. It sounds cheesy but I know I can make headway if I start now, which is why while thinking about this, I am filling out an application to a university that focuses on academics and only academics. I know that I will not fit in mainly because I am not the smartest but I still get really good grades, when I'm not writing songs.
The classroom was generic; white from wall to wall, old TV hanging in the corner right next to the chalkboard that looks older than my teacher, one wall with ten windows for the students to stare out of and ponder life through. So I did exactly that.
I flick my bottom lip with the eraser of my pencil, staring out of one of the windows. All that crosses my mind is what is wrong with a 17-year-old, decent-looking girl like me who has never dated anyone, not because she was unwilling. I think up all of the conceivable explanations as to why I am always single. Many guys don't like to ask me out because they think I'm too intimidating and will quickly move onto the next guy. Not all girls are horrible. Am I too picky? Guys have asked me out before, but my mind has a way of seeing the future I might have with the guy and it never ends well in my head. My mind is my system for every aspect of my life. If it thinks it won't work out with a guy, my mind will give me mental images of a little girl crying in a thunderstorm in the middle of the road.
Sometimes I envy the girls who don't have a mind like mine that would plan out to the nearest detail. It makes life easier at times but harder other times, like my dating life; yeah the nonexistent one. They just go out with guys because there's nothing stopping them, there's no inner tug that prevents them from taking risks or making mistakes. They're freer.
This train of thought occurs everyday during class. This is the gloomy road I take until I reach the end; which forces the images of what happened to me last summer to resurface. Seeing spitting images in my brain begins to close my airway, making me choke on the little bit of air I was able to inhale. I grab at my neck with both hands gasping for air. My grasp on my neck was so tight that I begin to turn red. Finally, I let go and release a heavy cough followed by a rather long, but life-saving breath. I was so deep in my thoughts, I didn't realise that the entire class had their eyes on me with my rather hot teacher, leaning over my table rubbing my back as I stare down at the ground taking short breaths as it was all the energy I possessed allowed me to do.
"Lauren! Lauren!", he yelled straight to me, forcing his hot minty breath onto the sleeve of my THE1975 t-shirt. I was still in a trance because I was staring at the floor, with my eyes steady without one blink for an unusually extended period of time.
All I could see was her face.
Thankfully, Mr Brand's second attempt to snap me out of it, worked. He shook me endlessly still calling my name, hoping that this time he would have success. The shakes became slower and weaker, indicating the end of his effort, and right then, I got mentally slapped, hitting me hard enough to send me back into reality. I jumped under Mr Brand's hand, slightly scaring him and pushing him back.
"Are you okay Lauren? Maybe you should go to the nurse's office and have a little rest. If you don't feel better after, you should go home. Don't worry, I have you covered.", he said with a slight smirk and wink, looking right into my eyes. Something about seeing my reflection in his hazel eyes sent me back into my trance momentarily. A few seconds later, I came back and shook all those unwanted images out of my head for the mean time.
"uhh oh..y.yeah I'll go to the nu..nurse..", I say squeezing my eyes closed, trying to hold in the vomit those old images were causing. I run my fingers through my hair and pick my bag up off the ground and swerve around my teacher and walk out making a peace sign to all my classmates who were still staring at me. As I walked, I kept my head down, watching my black converse fit every tile in our hallway floor. I walked close to the wall, subtly propping myself up with my left hand every now and again. By this time, I didn't know which way was up because of my booming migraine. I had no idea how I was going to find the nurse's office. I continue walking with my head down, rubbing the side of my temple to see if it would sooth the relentless headache. I probably should've kept my head up; that way I would've even more pain the rather soon future. A brown, wooden door, stopped me from reaching tile 68; adding insult to my already pounding head. I couldn't help but scream out and move my hand from rubbing the side of my head to the now developing purple, swollen bruise on my pale forehead. The pain was too immense to keep my eyes open for much longer. After my eyes called it quits, my knees began to tremble, they were telling me that they were about to give out. I was unable to withstand this pain so I fell to my knees and then collapsed onto my bum.
"owww", I say with a little snicker, trying to mask my severe discomfort with a laugh while rubbing my head. By this time, I was unable to hear anything going on around me but one sound...one sound...broke through my barrier of temporary deafness.
"oh my God!!! I'm so so sorry, I didn't see you behind the door and I just swung it open with all the force I could've mustered up then", said the mysterious, melodious voice as she began to kneel beside me.
*dialogue*
Me : "ughh I guess it could be worse"
Mystery Voice : "I'm so sorry though...I hope I could make it up to you"
Me: "well, you could actually help me get up and walk me to the nurse's office"
Mystery Voice : "......"
Me : "I mean, since you're the reason I have to go there now"
*end of dialogue*
The metaphorically masked person let out a little smile, the kind of smile that would turn heads. She began to blush and held her head down, smiling into the shirt.
"I guess I owe you that much huh?", she said holding her head up staring into my eyes with her beautiful brown eyes that could brighten up anyone's day. Suddenly, the pain started to subside as we sat there in our intense staring contest.
"Yeah you kinda do", I say breaking the silence, shuffling the bottom half of my body by lifting myself on the palms of my hands. She moved next to me and lifted my left arm to put it around her shoulder and lifted me to my still weak, unstable feet and we began to walk. It was a bit difficult for her to keep me up since her left hand was holding a banana, so her right arm did all of the work around my waist, holding me up. We finally make it to the office so we walked over to the bed where she set me down carefully, like she thought I'd break if I did it myself. I hadn't taken my arm from around her neck as yet so we were just sitting next to each other in comfortable silence as I struggled to keep my eyes open. I finally moved my arm from around her and proceeded to take off my shoes so that I could lay back while she was still sitting next to me. I could feel her eyes burning a hole in the side of my face but I didn't want to look up at her. As I went down to lie on my back, I placed my head into the crook of my elbow and began to enter the delusional state.
"thank you, you're good people you know", I say tapping the mystery girl on her shoulder. My eyelids begin to feel very heavy and in no time, I'm in zombie state (almost asleep). I felt the bed shuffle under me and weight re-added to it. At this point I was lifeless but still awake, if that makes sense. I shuddered under the cold sensation brought to my right cheek. It felt like a small hand brushing my cheek repeatedly. I wasn't asleep so I heard a mumble. " I'm so sorry...", she mumbled while continuing to brush my cheek.
I didn't know what to do so I just stayed still, hoping she would leave so that I could get rid of the butterflies in my stomach that appears every time I think of those eyes. The image of those eyes are now engraved in my mind. Thank you brain.
The bed shuffled again but more like something was getting off of it. I remained still until I was sure she was gone. When I heard the office door close a few moments later, I took in yet another life-saving breath. I opened my eyes and put both hands on my swollen hurting forehead and let out a big sigh. After that, I felt myself drift into a light sleep.
When I awoke, there was a sudden pounding from my head. I yelled out but not loud enough for anyone to hear. I rested both my hands on my bruise. I then let my hands fall to my sides, and felt an odd, soft object under the fingertips of my left hand. Curious to see what it was, I sat up but I only lifted my head.
Where could this have come from? I never had one of these? I never owned one. It wasn't there when I went to sleep. What is happening?
"huh? a bow?"