"My silence is just another word for my pain. It's not my weakness, it's the beginning of my revenge."
•●•●•●•●•
Pissed off, she turned away and continued walking nervously. I sighed in relief, for I thought she was attempting to hurt me. Whether physical or verbal hurt, both caused pain, and I wasn't ready for either. However, it seemed impossible to hinder my curiosity, so I went on asking, and most probably annoying her.
"Why are you poor? Don't you have a family?" I asked and thought I sounded foolish.
Suddenly, she gave a sarcastic laugh, "Ha-ha! Family? Don't you see I'm a widow?" she said, "Well, but I've inherited lots of fortunes after my husband," she added imprudently.
It sounded funny to me that the old woman was actually contradicting herself. "Oh, then what makes you sneak into markets in such situations if you've got all what you'd desire?" I asked as I raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Oh! My poor fate!" she complained trying to sound innocent.
"Your poor fate?" I questioned her more seriously.
"Yes, little girl. I was robbed by my husband's son, a young filthy boy who wanted to throw me out on the streets without any penny of my husband's fortune!" she growled.
New thoughts flashed through my mind.
A young boy who was her husband's son. How haven't I thought about that!
"What did you do to him?" I asked.
"Do to him? Do you think I'm that coward to leave all my fortune to a dumb lad? Well anyway, he was a bad boy after all, so life had its own plans to punish him." A small smile curved her pale mouth, but it wasn't a nice one.
Life is never fair.
"Oh Ma'am, you're contradicting yourself. You've just said you were poor!" I exclaimed.
Her face flushed and her eyes blazed. She was clearly provoked, but she tried hiding her anger and resumed walking like she'd heard nothing. As to me, I stopped walking and examined her. It was obvious that she was lying about something. She gave me a cold look and yelled, "Go ahead! Stop being foolish! You've got to help me take these bags home. No time to waste!"
No, I can't go ahead. I've got to make sure of my thoughts. I can't be helping someone who doesn't deserve any help.
"Why did you stop, fool?!" she asked me rudely, and this time, I was the one who eyed her.
"A young boy?" I asked her seriously as terrible thoughts flashed quickly through my mind.
She shivered but then laughed wickedly, "Yes, the escaping prisoner. God kill him. Haven't you heard of him?"
My heart ached. God kill him? He's already gone you hag!
Tiny droplets of tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought of him.
"No," I answered meanly, "I haven't heard of him. But, I've heard of a poor innocent boy whose heartless step-mother took advantage of him," I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "She hurt him in every single way a person could be hurt," I quoted what Kevin had told me earlier.
Her eyes widened as she stepped back carefully.
I stood firmly and asked, "I've never met the old woman before, but you remind me of her. It's so terrible, isn't it?"
She gasped and threw her stuff to the ground. Immediately, I dropped her stuff too, folded my arms, and raised an eyebrow in victory. I smiled as she became provoked and irritated. She was Kevin's step-mother. She was evil Edith.
"How do you know Kevin?" she said and peered at me out of the corner of her eye.
Kevin. Don't even spell his name on your dirty lips.
"It's none of your business ma'am."
"Oh really?" Edith exclaimed as she pulled my arm forcefully behind her and started running.
Yeah, she was way too fast.
"Let go of me! Please. Stop." I screamed out of pain as my body rubbed against the rough asphalt ground. She stopped and locked her evil eyes with mine. I felt a sudden, soul-shattering chill.
"Listen girl, you wouldn't live to see tomorrow's sunshine if you don't spit this out," she dared me, more seriously this time. "Where is Kevin?" she asked as her eyebrow curved upwards technically.
I couldn't bear listening to that horrible question. I shook my head in disbelief, and pressed my lips together; so bitterly that they lost color and turned pale. I felt my tears roll down my cheeks, my eyes burn, but that was something I had gotten used to. I winced in pain as she dug her hard dirty nails into my skin.
"He's somewhere safe where no one can hurt him," I muttered through sobs and tears. I moved backward horridly as she raised her wrinkled hands and curled her thin aged fingers.
Then, she grabbed me by my arms and dragged me to a hidden corner in a narrow space between two buildings. It seemed to be out of anyone's sight. The roofs above me almost touched and blocked out sunlight. The walls looked old and rough with dirty windows. Both buildings seemed to be abandoned. I watched Edith timidly as she snatched an aged dagger from one of her bags and directed it at me.
My extreme horror rendered me paralyzed and unable to move or comprehend what was even happening to me. I wanted to run, but my legs felt like loads of lead.
Suddenly, she grabbed my hair violently and smashed my head against the rough wall of the ancient building. I screamed in pain and my vision blurred instantly.
My head ached and I slid to the ground as she moved toward me, my legs no longer able to hold me up. I struggled to remain conscious and raise myself onto my elbows.
My mouth was full of blood, and I knew well that I had to be brave and never give up, though it was really hard to. When I managed to realize what was happening around me, I heard the old malicious woman talking.
"When Kevin's father, Stephan, married me, he made me promise to love his son dearly, so that the little boy never felt like someone was missing in his life. I found it hard, at first, to love a boy who wasn't really my own son," she said. How could she start a conversation with me when I felt like I was dying?
"Despite that, I tried to love him with all my heart. I tried talking to him every night before he slept. I cooked his favorite meals, brought him his favorite novels, and made sure he enjoyed time with his friends each weekend." Her tone was calm and emotional. I was surprised and confused. Why would she tell me the story of her life? My head still ached and I felt dizzy.
"But when Stephan died," Edith continued, "Kevin was shocked. He refused to talk to me any longer and he burnt all the stuff and books I gave him. It hurt me too much because it felt like he blamed me for his father's death. He began running away from home and spending late nights outside. He was only eight by then. One day, I decided to talk to him after he'd come home at midnight with a pale face and sunken eyes. It seemed to me that he had encountered an awful incident. It was until that day that I realized he was spending his nights under a girl's window, listening to the music of her clarinet. He said that night was different from all the rest. It was terrible. He had heard a loud gun shot and a scream that made him run home immediately. I thought that his home was the only place that made him feel safe, but I was mistaken. He ran away the following day as well and that made me furious."
Her voice suddenly turned harsh and every word felt like an arrow that hit me straight in the heart. I observed carefully as she twisted the dagger in her hand playfully. I tried to move, but the pain was unbearable.
"It was until that day that I realized I was never able to love Kevin dearly," she continued. "He always felt that there was something missing in his heart. I hated myself for not fulfilling my promise to Stephan. That day, I decided to get rid of Kevin forever, but I wasn't able to actually kill Stephan's only son. That's when I began forcing him to murder and steal. I needed some proof to prove that he was a criminal and a spy. And it somehow worked."
I hated the tone of her voice. I hated the way her nails dug into my skin. I hated the way she talked about Kevin, and I hated almost everything about her. I didn't know whether she was telling me that to pity her or tell her that she was right about everything she had ever done.
"What kind of boy falls in love at the age of eight?" she hissed.
I struggled to find my voice.
"It was- It was because he had no one else. You failed at giving him the care he needed," I said. I never thought I could take advantage of someone's weak points to hurt them.
"You never gave it to him either," she spat.
"It was because I never knew he needed it." My heart ached so badly. All I wanted to do was cry. "But you- you knew he did. All the time."
Her eyes flickered with hate as she grabbed my hair one more time and slammed my head against the rough wall behind me. I felt too weak to fight. She placed the dagger directly over my heart. I found it hard to breathe.
"Do you think Kevin would love it when he knows you're gone? Or even, when he knows that I was the one who took your life away?"
I felt intimidated as my tears began rolling down. Was this the way I was going to die? Were those the last few moments of my life?
"I won't let you do that," I told her, but more blood escaped my mouth. The tip of the dagger sent electric shocks to my body and I fought for air.
There was no way I was letting this happen.
When had I been that weak and vulnerable? Kevin must be too mad at me by now, and my mother must be too.
"Any last words? I'm getting rid of you too," Edith said, grinning.
This was it. I didn't want to die like that. I didn't want to disappoint Kevin.
Therefore, I gathered all the courage left in my fragmented soul and grabbed the dagger forcefully from her firm grip as she raised it high to stab me. Her eyes widened in horror as I pushed her away and managed to stand up. My legs shook as I tried hard not to lose my balance.
Unexpectedly, she reached to my feet, grabbed one of my legs, and pulled it violently.
Petrified, I shrieked ghastly and hit the ground. For a moment, I felt too dizzy and thought I was going to pass out. The world swayed around me, but I willed myself to stay conscious once again. Then, I pulled myself painfully to my knees and staggered to my feet.
Everything seemed to happen too quickly as I reached for a rock and threw it at her with the remaining force and power I had. Then, I reached for more as I aimed each rock at her perfectly. I had no idea what I was doing and it felt like someone else, the devil perhaps, had taken over me.
I felt the pleasure of being healed and of taking revenge. It was Kevin's vengeance, I thought. I wanted to get rid of that malicious woman who destroyed him as if that would bring Kevin back to life and back to me.
I wanted him so badly. Every second I thought about his death, I blamed myself. I thought of how I could've stopped him, like I once did before. I thought that I could've saved him and reserved him mine forever, instead of the ocean's. I thought about all the words that were unsaid between us. I had lots and lots to say, and it was just too early for him to leave me like that. But I knew it was too late as well.
Edith was lying in front of me in pain, or in regret -well, I didn't even know.
But then I realized that I was mistaken. She laughed so hard and annoyingly that I found no reason for that, especially that she was bleeding and perhaps dying. But then I got it. It hurt me so hard like a knife stabbed right into my lonely heart.
Nevertheless, I showed no expression. She was laughing when she finally realized what I meant when I said that Kevin was safe-- that he was gone. He was dead.
I noticed that her wrinkled unpleasant face was strained with blood. It reminded me of Kevin's words, I really hope she dies one day.
I stared at the dagger in my hands which was waiting impatiently to perform its task. I couldn't leave without doing this. I had to make sure she was dead so that she wouldn't tell on me.
I felt too weak and guilty, but something told me that I had to do it.
Finally, I lifted the dagger with my aching arm and drove it into Edith's chest. I felt my heart rip apart with guilt and fear.
Terrified, I threw away the dagger at once. I looked down at my trembling hands which were covered in blood and wiped them on my dress.
I knew well that if I hadn't taken the life out of that woman, she would have taken it out of me.
Besides, Kevin wished for that. Your wish is granted, I thought, and that made me more confident.
Confident? Of an insane murder? How could I?
When I got back to my senses, I realized that Edith was screaming so loud for the soldiers to capture me.
Did she mean to ruin my life too? Why? Was it because I had revealed her terrible deeds?
I looked around me and found no one. All that came to my mind was to run. However, before I did so, I bent down and held her by her collar.
"Die Edith. This is Kevin's revenge," I whispered to her.
Then, I ran so fast and felt my heart throb violently against my chest.
"You pervert!" she shrieked behind me, "Kill her!"
She kept on screaming while I ran faster than time and faster than my heartbeats until her voice faded away and died with her.
I hated the way she called me. I hated what I did. I hated everything. I covered my face with my hands as I ran and stumbled, cried and wept.
It's an act of love, I tried convincing myself for I had never done such a thing in my whole life, and never thought I would. I ran fast across the lonely streets as my tears rolled down.
But this time, they weren't silent. They were tears of grief, agony, love, guilt, and pain. I didn't care about the bombs and explosions on my way, though I had survived many by coincidence.
I took your revenge, my love.
**********************
Do you think it really was an act of love?
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~Mira xx