Bruce
I watched Dr. Palmer and Victor roll an unconscious Jason into the Operating Room.
Most of the team had gone off to change out of their costume, but some remained with me to wait for the news on Jason. Asteria, Artemis and Jade soon came to join us. Dick immediately went to Asteria, wrapping her up in his arms. I realized this was the first time they didn't go on a mission together. I'm sure they were both relieved to see each other safe and sound. Artemis and Jade also reunited with Wally and Roy quietly, while Damian was bandaging up some of Barbara's cuts beside me. Tim and Cassie disappeared a few seconds ago to get some food for us. As I stood by the doorway, watching my family interact, I hoped that Jason wouldn't be leaving us again.
God, if you're listening. Please. Please, don't take away my son again. I buried my face in my hands, thoroughly frustrated. Once again, I was so close to saving Jason. I hoped this time, I wasn't too late. He looked pale and lifeless during the ride back onto the Watchtower. Even though the Bioship had a well- equipped medical center, it didn't change Jason's condition. He had a lot of bruises, broken bones and great amount of blood loss.
"Where is he?" came a frantic voice, making me glance up. Razel stood in front of me, her brown eyes wider than usual. She wasn't her usually composed self. Her hair was in disarray, and her clothes were wrinkled.
I pushed myself away from the wall I was leaning on and approached her carefully. "We just got back from the mission," I replied gently. "Jason was unconscious when we brought him in. He's in the operating room right now."
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she demanded angrily, fire blazing in her brown eyes.
"We're sorry, Razel," I said. In all honesty, I had forgotten she was here.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. Then she pushed past me and headed straight for the Operating Room. "I'm going in there," she grumbled.
Asteria stepped forward to stop her, but I held my hand up. "Let her," I told Asteria. She looked up at me with her grey eyes before nodding.
I sighed and went back to waiting. After a while, Dick disappeared from sight and Asteria went to join me. "Where did Dick go?" I asked.
"I just told him to go change out of his clothes. Jason will be in there for a while," she replied. "Maybe you should go change, too."
"I'm not leaving," I said, a note of finality in my tone. Nothing would be able to move me from my spot. Nothing. Not until Jason came out of that Operating Room.
Asteria held her hands up in surrender and leaned on the wall beside me. We were silent again for a while, although I could tell she wanted to say something else. Finally, she spoke. "Dick told me what happened. What Jason did to Shrike."
I shut my eyes as the memory flitted through my mind. Jason standing over Shrike, lowering his gun. But then something changed. Something made him pull the trigger, and I didn't stop him. I couldn't. I opened my eyes when I felt someone wrap their arms around my waist. Asteria was hugging me, and for the first time, she looked her age. It was easy to forget sometimes that Asteria was only nineteen. She acted so much more mature. "Don't be mad at him," she told me, her voice muffled. "And don't be mad at yourself."
She pulled away, once again looking at me with the full force of her grey eyes as she waited for my response. "What should I be feeling then?" I asked her, instead of telling her she was right. I was mad. For some reason, I felt like I failed. I failed Jason. Again.
"Try to be understanding," she replied. "For both of your sakes. You have to remember that Jason is still adjusting to this life again, Bruce. For so long, he was used to killing his enemies. You can't expect him to change overnight, especially not when his family is put in danger."
"Asteria is right, Father," Damian piped up from beside me, taking me by surprise. Out of everyone, Damian didn't seem to like Jason that much. To hear him agreeing with Asteria... "Remember when I first came to you? I was the same, but you helped me change. Jason just needs time as well." I wasn't sure if Damian was aware that he called Jason by his first name, but it made me smile. Maybe there is hope for them, after all.
Asteria also gave me a small smile, when she saw my expression. "Just talk to Jason when he wakes up. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision to make. He may have killed other people before, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care when he pulls the trigger. It never gets easier. Trust me. He'll need your support and understanding."
I stared at Asteria, processing her words. Once again, she had a point. Dick would be just fine with her, and I was happy they found each other. I'm sure their baby would want for nothing. They would make wonderful parents.
"Bruce," someone called me, making me turn away from Asteria. Diana approached us, carrying a mug of coffee. She gave me a small smile. "I thought you might need this. I ran into Cassie and Tim in the cafeteria."
"I'll let you two talk," Asteria said with one last smile, before joining Wally and Artemis.
I smiled as I watched her leave before turning back to Diana. She was watching me with her cool, blue eyes, a curious expression on her face. "Thank you," I told her as I finally took the mug.
"You're welcome," she replied, still watching me curiously as I took a sip. "You like her."
"Asteria? She's a very perceptive and wise young woman," I told Diana. "But you don't seem to share that opinion."
Diana raised a challenging eyebrow at me before smiling. "I didn't before. It's difficult for me to trust her, considering her background and where she came from. But I heard what she said to you. You're right. She is very wise. Athena has obviously blessed her."
I shrugged at Diana. "Some of us have dark backgrounds, too, Diana. Jason, for one. If I hadn't found him, he could've grown up to be like his father. Damian was the same. He also grew up in the League. Connor was an experiment until the kids saved him. Roy was on the path to self- destruction when Oliver found him. Artemis was raised by two renowned criminals. Even Jade was on the wrong side of the battle once. But we helped them. I think it's only fair we give Asteria the same chance."
"You're right," Diana agreed. "I should apologize to her."
"Later," I said when she turned to leave. She faced me again, waiting for me to continue. I don't know what possessed me. Maybe it was the exhaustion and all the worry. Whatever it was, I found myself saying," don't go. Just stay here. With me."
Diana looked surprise, since I never said such things to her before. But then her surprised expression turned into a breathtaking smile. "Of course, Bruce. I'll stay as long as you need me."
Jason
I woke up to a lot of beeping noises and something stuck in my nose.
I groaned, though it wasn't due to the pain. In fact, I couldn't feel anything from my limbs. It was almost like I was paralyzed. All I could feel was the bubbling irritation inside of me. "Am I dead?" I asked, my voice hoarse. I finally pried my eyes open, even though my eyelids still felt heavy.
"What do you think?" came a very familiar female voice, and I glanced beside me to see Asteria seated there and reading a book. She wore an amused expression, but there was also relief in her grey eyes.
"Oh, it's you," I replied, but I was also grinning. "I was expecting someone else."
Asteria closed her book and placed it on the bedside table, then she stood up and stretched. "Disappointed?" she asked. "I need to help you sit up. You need some water."
At her words, I felt the thirst in my throat, so I let her help me into a sitting position. Then she grabbed the water from the table and handed it to me. Once I was done drinking, I was able to reply. "I'm glad it's you. If it were anyone else, I might've preferred being dead," I admitted.
Asteria glared at me, her grey eyes flashing. Wow. I hope she never got angry with her kid. She was scary sometimes. "That's not a nice joke, Jason," she said in a scolding voice.
"Who says I'm joking?" I asked lowly before glancing down at my hands. Hands that killed countless of people. Hands that would probably kill again. I sighed. "They should've let me die."
"Maybe they should've," Asteria replied, knocking me off guard. What the hell? Did she seriously just agree with me? Glancing up at her, she had a fierce expression on her face. "You know what you're problem is Jason? You see yourself so negatively!" She sounded really angry now, and she stood up from her seat, obviously feeling very irritated. I watched as she began pacing in front of my bed.
"You're hopeless," she continued to rant, throwing her hands up in the air. "We risked a lot to get you back. I even sent Dick down there, even though I was worried sick. It's not easy being pregnant, you know. Not with all this stress. And now you're telling me we should've let you die? Why? Because you killed Shrike? Because you think you're a monster?"
I balled my hands into fists, even though Asteria was spot on. She always did get me. It was like she could read my mind. "Yes!" I shouted, getting angry as well. Not at Asteria, but at myself. Because she was right.
"I killed Shrike, and I'm probably going to kill someone again. Don't you get it, Asteria? That's who I am. Who the Red Hood is."
She placed her hands on the railing by the edge of my bed, glaring down at me like some angry goddess. And Dick had to deal with this every day. How did he live? God, I hope she doesn't get pregnant again soon. "You see," she said, pointing an accusing finger at me. She was still shouting. "That's another problem! You assume so much. You think you can't change, so you don't. You're stuck in this 'I'm a killer, and that's all I'll ever be' mind set, Jason. You don't believe in yourself."
I was speechless at her words. Asteria took that as a sign to continue, and when she spoke, her voice was much softer. "Do you think it was easy for me? For Damian? We grew up with assassins, Jason. That's what we were taught to be from a young age. If I believed I could never change, if I could never be better, do you think I would be with Dick right now? Do you think I'd be marrying him?"
"But he believes in me," she said, and there were tears in her eyes. "By some miracle, that boy loves me and believes I can be better. That I am good. He makes me believe in myself, too." She sat by my bed now and grabbed my hands, making me stare into her determined grey eyes. "We believe in you, too, Jason. We all do. Not just Razel. I believe in you. Dick does. Hell, even Damian does. But most especially, Bruce does. He's always believed in you. He saw something in you, when he first met you."
I could feel the familiar sting of tears in my eyes as I listened to her. "But the team- you should've seen the way they were looking at me when I killed Shrike," I whispered, the tears falling now. "I'm no hero," I repeated the words I said to Bart.
"But you can be," Asteria said as she forced a smile onto her face, while her tears also continued to spill. "Wearing the Red Hood doesn't have to be a bad thing Jason. It doesn't have to be a burden. And you have the power to change that."
"What if I'm not strong enough?" I asked, looking away from her as I admitted my weakness.
Asteria sniffed. "Then we'll help you. That's why we're here Jason. That's what family is for."
I looked back at her, and there was hope shining in her grey eyes now. "Okay," I whispered, making Asteria smile again.
"I'd hug you, but you're injuries are still healing," she said as she wiped her tears away and frowned. "Damn it, I hate being pregnant."
"Trust me," I said as I also wiped away my tears. "I can't wait for you to give birth and not be pregnant anymore."
She rolled her eyes and stood up from the bed. "I'll call the others. They just went to get something to eat, and I volunteered to stay behind. I'm sure they want to speak with you, too. Especially Razel."
At the mention of Razel, dread seemed to unfurl in my stomach. Can I face her? "Does she know?"
"Yes," Asteria replied as she brought out her phone. "But I wouldn't be too worried about it. I think she's actually happy that you got rid of Shrike. And Bruce is just glad you're safe."
Some of my worry disappeared at her words. While she called Dick on her cell, I thought about everything she said. Man, Dick seemed to be rubbing off on her. He was the only one I knew who could give inspiring speeches like that. As usual, Asteria could slap some truth into me. Maybe it was a good thing she was the one here when I woke up.
Razel
As soon as Dick got the call from Asteria that Jason was awake, we all took our food and rushed to his room.
Bruce led the way, with the rest of his adopted kids by his side. I followed closely behind them, feeling exhausted but happy. The surgery took a long time, and the pressure was different when it was Jason lying on the operating table. It took a lot out of me, and I was thankful Dr. Palmer and Victor were with me. Their knowledge on technology helped a lot. And then Zatanna and Dr. Fate came in, making me wish I could have them around whenever I did surgery. Magic truly did wonders.
Finally, we arrived in Jason's room. Asteria was seated by his bed, looking like she was recounting what happened after he passed out on the beach. When they heard the door slide open, they glanced towards us. Asteria beamed and stood up to join Dick, while Jason watched all of us nervously.
Finally, Bruce broke the silence. "You're awake," he said. Relief was evident in his voice.
"Unless this is all a dream," Jason replied like his usual, annoying self. I smiled. It was great to have him back. "Then yes, I am awake."
Bruce walked further into the room and sat at the chair that Asteria vacated, a haunted look on his face. Jason's easy demeanor also turned serious as he watched his father. It was obvious they needed time to talk with each other. "It's great to see you up, Jason," Dick spoke, a small smile also on his face. "We'll leave you two to talk."
Asteria gave a small wave before dragging Dick away. Damian shrugged, said, "Get well soon, Todd," and then followed after the two. "I'll just go get you some food, I guess," Tim said with uncertainty before rushing off. "You're still an idiot," Barbara declared, but her lips were twitching.
Jason raised an eyebrow, before grinning. "I love you too, Babs."
She rolled her blue eyes in reply before dutifully marching out of the room. Finally, I stood there, staring at Jason. His beautiful green eyes were staring back at me. He was really here. He was safe. "Hi," I whispered.
"Hi," he said back, a small, genuine smile on his face. It wasn't a smirk, or an annoying grin. It was a real smile.
"I'm glad you're okay," I told him. "I'll talk to you later."
"Promise?" he asked.
"I promise," I reassured him, before leaving him with Bruce. I'm sure they also had a lot to discuss.
Bruce
"Bruce, I'm getting kind of old here. And it's creepy how you're just staring at me like that," Jason said, breaking the silence that Razel left us in.
Humor. Jason always did like to make jokes when things got too serious, probably because it made him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you're here. That you're okay. I thought I'd lost you again."
Jason was quiet for a moment, a look of uncertainty on his face. I couldn't blame him. I wasn't always this open with anyone. But Asteria's words rang clearly in my mind. It never gets easier. Trust me. He'll need your support and understanding. "I don't know what scares me more: vulnerable and open Bruce, or Batman," Jason finally said. This time I did smile. "I'm fine Bruce. I'm here, alive and well. I have no intentions of dying again soon, so you can relax."
"I don't want to fail you again, Jason," I replied, remembering the fire clearly. I was transported back to that bleak, snow covered night. How I was too late. Jason, limp and lifeless in my arms. The anger and the hunt for Joker. Almost crossing the line and ending the sick psychopath.
"For the love of God, Bruce," Jason said with great emotion. "You didn't fail me. I failed you, okay? You explicitly told me not to leave the house. It was my choice to go looking for my mother. To go looking for trouble. And I forgive you for not saving me. I know you tried. Right now, you shouldn't feel bad. I'm here. I'm okay. You didn't fail."
I looked up at Jason, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes. He didn't know how happy I was to hear his words. He was frowning at me, but when he saw my tears, his expression softened. "Please don't start crying like Asteria," he said. "There's too much crying."
I wiped at my eyes and laughed. "I'm just happy you're alright, and acting like your usual self."
"I don't want to be my usual self," Jason replied, confusing me a little. He went on to explain himself. "I want to be better, Bruce. I want to try. You've never given up on me, even after all these years. And I just want you to know that all of that won't be in vain. I never knew what a real father should be like, until I met you. Now, I'm going to be a better son. The son you deserve. I won't fail you again."
"You already are Jason," I replied, feeling like crying again. But Jason was right. There's been too much crying already. "You are everything I've ever wanted in a son. I'm proud of you."
Jason
I'm proud of you. I never thought I'd hear Bruce say those words to me. Ever.
But he did. Asteria was right. My family was here for me, and I had been blinded by my anger for so long, that I couldn't see the love they had for me. The love that was strong enough to change me. Speaking of love... I glanced at the beautiful girl sleeping beside me. Bruce had told me she operated on me with Dr. Palmer. She saved me. Not just from death. She was what I held onto while Jared/ Shrike tortured me. It was her face I saw every time I wanted to give up. She saved me from despair. She gave me hope. And she gives me the strength to want to be better, just like Dick does for Asteria.
After Bruce left, Razel came in to see me. We didn't talk much, because no words were enough to express all that we wanted to say. I just moved aside so she could lie down beside me. And it wasn't long before she was drifting off to sleep. I knew she was exhausted, and being beside her reassured her that I was back for good. That I wasn't leaving anytime soon. And being beside her reassured me that she still loved me. That she didn't see me as a monster, like I thought she would. As I closed my eyes, I wasn't afraid of any nightmares. Instead, for the first time in my life, I had something good to look forward to.
Maybe wearing the Red Hood wasn't such a bad thing after all.