If there was one thing I love, it's seeing Lauren's eyes brighten at the mention of her favorite topics. She instantly becomes passionate and begins to speak with her hands as she elaborates on the subjects. But there was literally something magical about her standing in front of a classroom full of her students.
Today was going to be a little different though. On this Saturday morning Lauren was scheduled to give a discourse to her students as well as fellow staff members, upcoming freshmen, and their families, on one of her favorite things to talk about. The subject they assigned to her for the mornings activities was communication, I'm not sure why they chose her for this topic but apparently they thought it suitable, and Lauren of course had to take it to another level.
The morning had been filled with different lectures on multiple topics of discussions that are supposed to get future students excited about coming to college, but at the same time reassure their parents they are getting their money's worth sending their kids here.
The room is filled with murmurs of the countless people in the large auditorium. I sat in the front row beside the newly wedded Normani and Dinah as we waited for Lauren's arrival. I had a bit of an idea of what her lecture would be about but she wouldn't let me hear it all when she was practicing at home. She insisted she wanted parts of it to remain a surprise.
I heard paced, yet confident footsteps walking towards centerstage. I'm not sure if it's weird or not to recognize her footsteps but I do, which causes my attention to focus on the green-eyed professor who now stands in the middle of the stage.
She says nothing, but her presence demands attention.
Without a word everyones focus shifts to the woman on stage. I can't help but feel proud at the fact that they are all in the palm of her hand, little do they know that she's in the palm of mine.
She simply clears her throat, and organizes the papers on her stand, and the remaining whispers disappear.
Her tough demeanor vanishes as she greets her audience with a smile and if I'm not mistaken I actually hear some sighs of relief from behind me.
"To have a second language, is to posses a second soul" she said confidently.
"This was said by Charlemagne, who was a King in the middle ages."
She knew most people in the room would not know who the historic persona is so she took the moment to explain.
"By definition a language, is a system of communication used by a particular community or country and I want to focus a bit on this definition today"
She became more comfortable and walked out from behind the podium and I recall her speaking of this definition at home as she practiced this discussion but she didn't really allow me to hear much after that.
"For those of you that have been in my classroom" she continued "And as I look into the audience I see quiet a few of you" I could of sworn her eyes landed on mine at the last statement but it could be my imagination.
Whether or not it was true, the moment brings back memories to the days where we'd sneak secret innuendos in public discussions in the classroom. It reminds me of all the stolen glances, the playful teasing, making me nostalgic for the times where our relationship was just beginning. Not that I would ever trade what we have now, for what we had then.
"You should know by now that I prefer to have discussions, not give lectures. So I am going to be asking of the audiences participation during this talk." she explains.
"I'm going to ask a simple question and I want you guys to come up with the answer in your mind, and then we will revisit the definition we just spoke about, okay? Hopefully by the end of this your answer to this question will change"
There were a few mumbled words of agreement throughout the audience and a lot of silent nods. Whatever their choice of response was, it was no question Lauren had them all hypnotized.
"Okay" she said once she got her reply. "My question is, how many languages do you speak?" she asked.
"For a lot of you that answer is simple" she chuckled "Most of you are thinking one, maybe two" she continued "I thought the same thing when I asked myself this question"
"But when we revisit the definition of language it becomes apparent that we can amplify our idea about what a language is"
She turns around and the screen behind her pops up with the same definition she had spoken of previously
"A form of communication used by a specific group of people" she paraphrased, to make it simpler.
"Taking this definition into consideration, I asked myself the same question a second time around and landed on a different number, more along the lines if 79"
Certainly the audience was surprised and so was I.
I chuckled at the memory of trying to teach my fiancé Spanish and failing miserably, but it was cute to watch her try.
"Once I got close to the 80's I stopped counting, just because I got lazy" she admitted as a soft wave of chuckles filled the auditorium.
"But I got to this number because in analyzing this definition I realized that there are so many different types of languages that we all use on a daily basis and don't even realize"
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just as entranced by her as the rest of the audience. It truly does not matter how much time we spend together, seeing her in her natural habitat always makes me feel like a student with a crush on her professor.
"And what I am referring to, to put it simply, is the language of experience" she says
"We all have life experiences that have developed our languages and a lot of us don't even know it" she stopped center stage and I saw her eyes land on me offering me a smile. This causes a swarm of butterflies to appear and I can feel the warmth gathering in my cheeks. I love and hate that she can make my body react so intensely with such a simple gesture.
"Now, I did mention that this was going to be interactive, so I am going to speak a few languages and if you can relate to it, I want you to please stand up"
She takes center stage once more and I can see the change in her eyes and she almost takes on a character to help get her point across.
A fearful look takes over her green orbs and she begins to nervously fumble with her fingers, a sight that is rare in the young professor considering her usual confidence.
"I was standing in the middle of the party, because I told myself I was going to make friends"
Immediately I hear a chuckle from a few seats down and I imagine the man is going to be standing up soon.
"I had spent High School in the shadows and I was determined to make my college experience different" she says this with desperation laced in her voice and I begin to wonder if she should have been an actress instead.
Surely, I'd wanna watch that face on a big screen.
"But now I'm standing in the middle of the party, and people are bumping into me without noticing and I feel just as invisible as I did then. The crowded room starts to feel like, it's getting smaller and I realize that this is a bad idea. Why did I think college would be any different?" she sighs. "So instead of socializing, like I had planned, I stand awkwardly and uncomfortably in the middle of the party, with my hands shaking, and my chest tightening. It's almost as if my body is allergic to these situations" she finishes with a shiver in her voice.
Her eyes shift once again and she takes on her professor stance once again. I look around and realize a good fifteen to twenty people are on their feet.
"If you are standing" she says "You speak the language of social anxiety"
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't socially awkward, but I've definitely never experienced it to that degree. Must be scary, I think.
"For those of you that are on your feet, I'm going to ask you to remain standing as I move on to the next language." she instructs.
She faced a different part of the auditorium as she shifted into her next character.
"After spending hours in labor, I waited to meet my baby but he was immediately taken away"
I felt my stomach drop and a panicked expression landed on my features. I felt Dinah's eyes land on me as if to silently ask if she was really going to talk about this but all I could offer her was a confused shrug.
" I spent hours asking for him" Lauren continued with an unmistakable sadness dripping for her voice. "But they didn't bring him" she shrugged defeatedly.
"A part of me knew something was wrong but, I didn't want to admit it to myself. I remained optimistic even after my spouse wouldn't give me any information" the shiver in her voice this time around was not like the one she did the first time. You could tell, this pain was real.
"I told myself maybe they didn't know anything either but, I knew I was lying to myself"
I knew she wanted to cry and at this point all I wanted to do was hop on that stage and hold her until I knew she was okay, but I knew I couldn't.
"Finally, the doctors walked into the room and told me that they did everything they could, but they couldn't save him" a tear finally escaped her eyes but she quickly wiped it.
I noticed a few tearful mothers on their feet giving silent nods of support. They must know that this is all too real for Lauren as well.
"If you are on your feet" she said trying to compose herself once more "You speak the language of losing your child"
It was obvious that it was harder for her to come back from this "character" than it was for the first.
"Please stay standing while I begin to speak the next language" she asked politely.
She pushed aside the thoughts of our deceased son and got back on track with her lecture.
"When I heard the news, I immediately grabbed my phone and called him" she said "He didn't answer" she added fearfully.
"I decided not to freak out because the odds were slim right? I mean he did mention he was going out but what are the odds that he went there specifically? He was never much of clubber but I think his boyfriend is" she sighs "I try to call him again, but nothing" she moves to the other side of the stage to make sure she reaches her entire audience before continuing "I try to call his boyfriend, but nothing" she shrugs helplessly "I begin to panic because the list of names have not been released and all I want to know is if he's alive."
"They say the shooter was 29 and had a relation to ISIS." she sighs "Maybe it's true, or maybe the media is looking for someone to blame of this horrendous hate crime." she says helplessly "All I know is that he's not answering the phone and until I hear his voice all I can do is assume the worse"
The amount of people on their feet, was heartbreaking.
"If you are on your feet" she says "You speak the language of June 12, 2016."
My heart broke when I heard desperate sobs from people behind me but I don't dare look back in fear I'll break down along with them.
"I'm going to ask you to remain standing" she says "And I have one more language for you guys"
This time she stood center stage and focused her eyes on me once more. As opposed to all the previous times though this time she didn't look away.
"The first time I saw her, time stood still" she said with a small smile "I knew I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know how to get her attention so I carefully planned it out." she said "When I made the first move I was so nervous but you were easy to talk to"
Her words made the majority of the people that had remained seated to stand up, including myself.
"You made it so easy to fall in love with you it was mind boggling" she said with a soft chuckle
"I knew very early on that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you" she sighed happily "I didn't necessarily need an adventurous love story I just wanted you. You in some sweats and slippers picking up the mail, you in an oversized t-shirt brewing coffee in the morning, you in your pajamas while we watch tv" she continued "I want you and I spending a long, happy life together" she finished with a smile.
"If you are on your feet" she said finally disconnecting our eye contact "Which it looks like all of you are. You know the language of falling in love"
She tries to focus again on her audience but I can tell her eyes keep drifting in my direction.
I really tried to fight off the smile that was threatening to escape, but the fact that her eyes never left mine through that entire part of her lecture made it impossible.
"So take into consideration all you have experienced, and ask yourself again. How many languages do you speak?"
A few professors gave talks after her but it was clear amongst everyone that Lauren was the crowd favorite.
We had only a few hours to have lunch before the art exhibit this afternoon. I'm not sure why the schools decided to do this all on one day but surely we'd both be exhausted at the end of it.
The exhibit was much larger this time around, some students got to post multiple pieces and even the art professors were required to post something of theirs.
I chose a painting of Lauren that I made long ago. I thought it simple but appropriate being that she has been my muse for an extremely long time.
The memory of the day I made it was clear in my mind. I remember the young professor complaining about how a picture would be much faster.
"Stay still would you?" I giggled as Lauren scrunched up her nose in protest.
"How long do I have to stay here Camz?"
I smiled "As long as it takes."
Even though she complained for the entire time she still remained in bed, covered only by white bedsheets as I painted her.
"This is why I'm a fan of pictures" she continued as I kept my seat in my stool.
"Just one click and it's done" she insisted.
Even just the memory makes me smile. After I finished painting I remember being in the bed with her and making a fantasy world in our heads about our future.
"No, hear me out" she began before I could protest "Major in art , or painting or whatever, and minor in education." she offered.
"That way if all else fails you can still be an art teacher."
I began to make the finishing touches on my piece and nodded "Oh, yeah? You expect me to fail as an artist?" I joked.
"No!" she corrected quickly "Of course not you're an extremely talented artist. But when you've sold all of your paintings and have traveled the world with your art and have exhibits in Paris and Rome and New York and all of that, once your done you can teach. Preferably wherever I'm teaching" she said cheerfully.
Funny thing is, some of it actually came true.
~~~
Lauren POV
Alex knew she had lied. She didn't intend on leaving her husband, not yet anyways.
But she was desperate, she needed Daniela to stay, losing her was not an option. So she said whatever was necessary to keep her.
**
"Okay" Camila said.
Relief is what I should be feeling right now, but instead as I feel my girlfriends arms wrap themselves around my waist I feel nothing but guilt at the pit of my stomach.
I can't leave my husband, not yet.
Leaving him is in my plans, I love Camila too much to leave her on the side forever but I need time to be able to make sure he'll be okay when I leave. I know that's going to take a lot longer than whatever amount of time Camila expects.
Right now though, I decide to push those thoughts aside because she just told me that she wasn't going to leave me and that is all I currently care about. I almost desperately place a kiss on her temple to display some sort of affection before she releases me from the tight embrace.
Almost as if we had silently agreed to it our lips find their way to each other and the amount of passion that has built up during the past two weeks is evident, yet it is still somehow full of affection.
My brain seemed to shut off and my body did what it wanted pressing her gently against the wall but I could tell she felt hesitant. I was proven correct when she gently pressed her hand on my chest signaling it was time for me to stop. She knew that I wanted her and I knew that she needed time to build some trust in me again.
This didn't need to be spoken, we both simply knew it. So I pressed a soft kiss on the familiar pair of lips and we made our way towards the living room. We decided to drink some wine, and watch TV together.
Definitely I would much rather be in the bedroom involved in other kinds of activities but right now, I have the woman of my dreams pressed up against my side as my arm is wrapped around her and that is something that I haven't had in two weeks. So I am definitely appreciative of whatever she is willing to give me at this moment.
I take a sip of my wine and I noticed that her glass became empty a lot quicker than mine. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud of her new found tolerance, and I do believe I am guilty for it.
She wasn't new to drinking when we met, but certainly a year later she no longer gets drunk after a couple of glasses.
I glance down to find the brunette already starring up at me. We don't say anything; we simply enjoy the sight of one another.
As I stare into the pair of chocolate colored eyes I ask myself if I am really willing to give it all up from the girl in front of me?
My hand rises cupping her cheek gently, and after a few seconds my fingertips decide to trace the outline of her face. I smile softly to myself because I know there is no question. Of course I'd give it all up for her.
I'd be crazy not to.
**
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A/N: So I am aware that I am not consistently updating on Saturdays lol and I always get messages about where I am, so lets just say that I'll update on weekends ok? I'm trying to be consistent and it's not that I am not writing because I am, but I am currently writing for four different stories (all of which I plan to post at one point) so I just have so many plots in my mind but I am trying to be consistent with weekly updates.
I love you guys
Leave me your thoughts
Be nice to your flowers.
PS: I am obsessed with languages and this ch was inspired by a TedX talk, if anyone is interest in watching it hit me up