Songs for this chapter are:
A Change of Heart- The 1975
Wolves- One Direction
Nana- The 1975
...
My bedroom is silent.
It feels so small.
Or maybe it's me who feels small after yet another embarrassing moment with Nora? This time was better because we shared the awkward scene.
We caused it.
I can still feel her body against mine, moving with a quickness and a purpose. I can hear moans in my ear and feel her hot breath against my skin.
Now my room feels warm.
Too warm.
I move away from the back of my door and walk across the room to the window. My desk is messy, stacks of books and post-its clutter the wooden surface. I bet it's not even real wood, it is from Ikea and cost less than a hundred bucks. I tap my finger on the dark brown potential wood and it sounds hollow. I knew it wasn't real.
My fingers are shaky as I push my hand through my blinds to pull open the window. The windowsill is covered in chipped paint and dust, even a dead fly. Tessa would cringe at this. I make a mental note to clean it up this week. I pull at the stubborn wood and it finally cracks open.
I lift it higher, welcoming the calm sounds of the city into my room. I love the noise level here in Brooklyn. There are cars and usually some voices of people walking down the sidewalks, but nothing too crazy. The amount of random taxi honking is significantly less here than in Manhattan. I'll never understand the whole angry honking thing. It doesn't make any sense to me why people think it helps traffic in any sort of way? The only thing the rude gesture does is piss people off and create even more traffic.
My random thoughts are doing a good job keeping my mind off of what Nora and I just did. Well, not now that I'm thinking about it. How did we go from creating a little movie scene to her straddling me on a chair? I pull my pants and boxers down my legs and toss them into my dirty clothes hamper by the closet door.
I change my clothes and sit down on the edge of my bed, close to the window. My phone is plugged into the charger and sitting on my nightstand. I reach for it.
Hardin answers on the second ring.
"It's too late to talk me out of coming, I'll be there this Friday," are the first words out of his mouth.
I roll my eyes. "Hi, I'm good. Thanks for asking."
"Noted. What can I help you with on this fine evening?" Hardin asks over a car alarm beeping in the background.
"Nothing. I'm having a weird thing..." I don't know how to explain what is going on or why I called Hardin to talk about it.
He laughs. "You're going to need to explain much more than that."
I sigh into the phone and listen to my surroundings. I can faintly hear Tessa and Nora's voices in the kitchen.
"Okay, so you know Tessa's friend Nora? Well, Sophia was her name when you met her? She was around my mom's house for a little bit right before we moved?"
He's silent for a moment. I wonder if my voice was too loud. I can't make out anything the women are saying, so I hope they can hear even less of my voice.
"Yeah. I think so."
"Okay, so we just had sex. Well, not really sex I guess. But really, really, close to it."
I tug at the blinds, pulling the string to raise them.
"And?"
Of course Hardin's response would be and?
I make sure my voice is only slightly higher than a whisper. "This is s thing. Nora has told me so many times that we have to stay friends and we were just talking, like usual, and then two seconds later she's straddling me and having an orgasm and then Tessa walked in right after and now I'm in my room and I'm kind of freaking the hell out because I don't know what to do or say now."
"Wow. Tessa walked in? The chick was straddling you on a chair? There's no denying that. Wait, so you fucked her on a kitchen chair? Or she just rode you until she came?" he asks in a casual tone like his mouth isn't as dirty as a public toilet.
"Um, the second one. We didn't have sex, well like the sex where something goes into something else,"
"Really?" His voice is calm, amusement playing at the edges.
"I don't know why I called," I lean back and stare at my weirdly colorful ceiling fan.
Hardin seems to notice something in my voice. "Do you like her? I mean, why else would hooking up with her be a problem? You're single, she's single. Right?"
I contemplate this for a moment. Am I single?
Yes, Dakota and I have been broken up for months.
The looming fact that she was here just here Friday waves its hand in my face. It's only Saturday.
How is that possible?
Man, I'm an asshole. I should tell Nora about Dakota being here. It's only fair. That's what a nice guy would do and I'm a nice guy.
"We are both single. Except Dakota was here last night," I hate to admit it.
I'm not that kind of guy.
I'm really not.
"Yikes. Delilah too? What the hell is going on there?"
I don't bother to correct him on Dakota's name, "I don't know. But don't tell Tessa. Seriously, she's got enough going on and Nora is really freaked out about Tessa finding out. I mean it. I don't care if she's naked when she asks you, you better pretend you know nothing."
"If she's naked, there's no promising anything," he says into the phone.
"Ugh."
"Fine. Fine. I won't say anything. Did you talk to her about her schedule yet?"
No. I'm too big of a chicken shit.
"Not yet. She's been working a lot lately. Oh, and I need to warn you about something but you can't freak out. Seriously, you can't. Promise me," I quietly request.
I don't want Tessa or Nora to hear me gossiping about them to Hardin.
"What? What's going on?" Hardin asks. I can tell his mind is going to the worst of places.
"Promise me," I repeat.
He huffs in impatient frustration. "I promise,"
"You know that waiter guy from the lake that weekend? When you and Tessa were fighting the whole time?" I ask him.
"We weren't fighting the whole time," his voice is defensive, but lightly so. "But yeah, what about him?"
"He's here."
"In your apartment?" His voice raises and I start to think maybe this wasn't the best idea to tell him right now, like this.
"No. In New York. They work together."
He sighs and I can only imagine his expression right now. "Have they been... you know? Like dating or something?"
I shake my head even though he can't see me. "No, nothing like that. I just wanted to tell you because I think for your sake, it would be better if you don't make a big deal out of it. You know, show Tessa you are maturing and all," I suggest.
Also because I don't want my apartment to be burned to the ground in Hessa World War Two.
"Maturing? I'm very mature. Fucker."
"Yeah, I can tell by your extensive vocabulary, fucker," I tease him.
"I'm proud of you for cussing and for half-fucking Naomi or Sarah or whatever she's going to change her name to next week, but I have a call in one minute," Hardin says.
I can't help but laugh at his way with words.
"Thanks for the help," I tell him.
He's silent for a second before he says, "If you really want to talk about it, I can call you back after?" His voice is full of sincerity and I sit up.
"No, it's fine. I need to get out there and face the music."
"I hope it's a death metal band,"
"Shut up," I say and the line goes silent.