I sit in the middle of my now empty room. My mom arrives tomorrow.
Jake and I haven't spoke.
He woke up, and left. He has been staying at a friends house ever since. He's waiting until I'm gone. He can't even be in the same house with me.
I know that it's over.
I was dumb. And I lost him. I lost him.
Also, my birthday is coming up. In a few days. 18th. Finally an adult. Well, legally an adult. Not mentally.
I do some last minute checks. Making sure I didn't forget to pack away a drawer full of things. But everything is packed. The room is empty. Exactly how it was when I first got here.
I sit on my bed and grab my laptop. I mindlessly scroll through Facebook, but nothing interests me. I click on Netflix, but my mind it too cluttered to pay attention to any of the shows.
I huff and rub my face as I stare at the empty room. My mind races with memories. Jake finding my journal and me being royally pissed. Jake and I making out (a lot). Jake and I cuddling in bed. Jake and I screaming at each other.
Every memory I can think of involves Jake.
I frown as I realize there won't be any more memories with him in this room. Good or bad, those memories will stay with me forever.
I walk over to my bags and pull out a pencil and a few pieces of paper. I need to write. I need to write to Jake.
Jake's P.O.V.
"Pass the joint," Taylor says as I hand it over to him. It may be 11 a.m., but that doesn't matter to us.
"Wake and bake?" Colin laughs as he opens the fridge. "Dude, you have no fucking food!" Colin yells at Rick.
"I have Ramen, bitch. Try living on your own." Rick laughs. "I barely have enough money to buy toilet paper."
"I'm gonna order a pizza," Taylor says as he reaches for his phone.
"It's 11 o'clock in the morning!" Colin says again. "You guys are fucking idiots."
"Agreed," I laugh as Colin plops down on the couch besides me. Taylor holds the joint between his lips as he plays Call of Duty.
"Fuck! The controller battery died! I had a kill streak!" Taylor growls as he tosses the controller aside. "Rick, you seriously need to buy things other than weed. There are such things as batteries, bro."
"Dude, you're shit at that game. You would have lost anyways. Stop making excuses," I laugh as he rolls his eyes.
"It's hard for me to pay rent on my own, dude. I need a fucking roommate," Rick huffs as he sniffs a carton of milk. He grimaces as he tosses the carton in the trash. "Jake, you're 18. Move in with me."
"Hell no, not with your smelly ass," I laugh. "I haven't even graduated yet. And I, unlike some people, like to have toilet paper and batteries."
He flips me off as he grabs a water bottle. "Just think about it."
Trust me, I will. I know it's time to move out soon. I just can't picture myself leaving my mom to deal with Sam and George on her own. Plus, George is kinda a dick to Sam, and I need to keep him in check.
"Are you even going to college, man?" Colin asks.
"I have no fucking clue. I might go to the junior college here. No way in hell I would get accepted to the University."
"Move in with me, you little bitch!" Rick yells from the kitchen.
"Fuck off!" I laugh. I don't like roommates.
"Yeah, yeah," Rick mumbles as he walks into the living room. He tosses two batteries at Taylor. "Will you stop crying now?"
"Yes!" He cheers as he snatches the controller off of the floor.
"What was all that racket last night, Jake?" Colin asks as he grabs the second controller and begins to play against Taylor.
"Nothing," I shrug as I pull out my phone, checking my texts.
"That for sure wasn't nothing. Unless you like listening to porn on full blast," Taylor laughs as he throws a grenade. (In the video game, of course)
I keep quiet as I scroll through my Snapchat. I read through the stories, trying to ignore them.
"C'mon dude, you gotta tell us," Rick says as he sits down on the end of the couch.
"It was fucking Tiffany! Wasn't it?" Taylor accuses.
"Hell no!" I chuckle. "That ship has sailed. Three times."
"Three times? Three times?! Fucking savage!" Rick says as he puts his fist out to fist bump me.
"I'm not fist bumping you, you ducking weirdo," I laugh as I push his hand away.
He shrugs and takes a sip of his water. "If it wasn't Tiffany last night, then who was it?"
"I can't tell you," I shrug again.
"Little bitch! Just tell us her first name," Colin shouts at me.
"I can't tell you because I don't fucking remember her name!" I laugh as they all snap their heads to look at me.
"You didn't know her fucking name? Savage, bro!" Rick says as he puts up his fist again.
"I'm not fucking fist bumping you, Rick!" I laugh again as I push his hand out of the way.
He shrugs. "But still! That's fucking crazy man. Where'd you even find this girl?"
"She was at the party last night," I say. We have been partying non-stop every night since New Years. Which is really only a few nights, but still.
"Was she that fucking brunette? With the fat ass?" Taylor questions.
"The short one? Green eyes? Purple tank top?" Colin adds in.
"Sounds like her, I don't know what fucking color her eyes are though," I chuckle as I slip my phone back in my pocket.
"You fucked Whitney?" Rick asks with a grin across his face. "My man!" He says as he puts his fist up.
"Yeah! Whitney. That was her name. And for the last time, I'm not fucking fist bumping you," I say as Rick puts his hand down again.
"Sorry, force of habit. But dude, Whitney has a boyfriend." Taylor laughs.
"What?" I laugh. He must be kidding.
"Two years. His name's Zayn or something."
"I didn't know that. Fuck." I huff as I lean back.
"No, no. It's not Zayn. God, what is his fucking name?" Taylor says as he presses his palms against his eyes. "Zach! That's fucking it! Zach!"
My blood goes cold.
"Zach?" I say.
"Yeah, he was at the New Years party, now that I think about it. Whitney wasn't there, she was with her family. Flying back from their vacation in Maryland." Colin joins in.
"Zach. The kid Maya nearly fucked?" I scoff. I didn't. I fucked Zach's girlfriend? Oh shit.
"Fuck! She did, didn't she? She left with him! I totally fucking forgot about that," Taylor says with surprise across his face.
"Bro. You fucked his girlfriend. Fist-fucking-bump," Rick says as he holds his fist out.
Hell fucking yeah I did.
Take that mother fucker. Serves him right.
"Just this one time, cause this is fucking gold," I smirk as I lightly fist bump Rick.
"Hell yeah!" He yells out as he grabs my shoulder and shakes it.
"Dude, you have to tell Zach. That would be gold." Colin says.
"Or better, tell Whitney that Zach cheated on her. Then she can play victim and act like you and her never did shit." Taylor says.
"No. I want him to know that I fucked Whitney. I mean, sure Whitney is a bitch for not telling me she had a boyfriend. But Zach is a colossal douche," I snarl.
I want him to know. I want him to know we're even.
Maya's P.O.V
I wake up to the sound of my alarm beeping. I roll over and silence it. Rain slowly falls outside of the warm house. Not snow, for once. Just a nice morning rain.
My mom is coming home today. Her flight should be landing in a few hours. Then I drive over to meet her at our house. Back to my room. My bed. My bathtub. My life.
These are my last hours in this house.
I sit up and stretch my arms high above my head and look around the empty room. It seems like it's a dream. Like I'll wake up and everything will be normal. My mom will be making me breakfast, and the calendar won't have "Leave for China" written on it. My journal won't be rummaged through. My father won't be remembered. My mind won't be cluttered with thoughts of Jacob Groom.
I wish I would wake up.
Unluckily, this isn't a dream. This is a living nightmare.
I place my feet on the carpet and walk over to my bag. I throw on a pair of leggings and a windbreaker before messily French braiding my hair. I put on a pair of my grey Nike Free Runs and grab my keys off of my dresser. I eye the note that I wrote to Jake. It sits there, staring at me. I still don't know if I should give it to him or not.
I exhale loudly before walking down the stairs. I enter the kitchen and grab a banana off of the counter.
"Are you leaving us?" I hear a little voice squeak from behind me.
I turn around and see Sam with a frown on her face.
"Aw, I'm afraid so. But this isn't the last time you'll see me, I promise." I say as I squat down to her height.
"Will you come visit?"
No.
"I'll try to, I'm just gonna be really busy," I say as I give her a weak smile.
"I'll have my mommy tell you when I find the fairies. They are here! I know it!" She says with a gleam in her eyes.
"I bet they are. Hey, maybe I was scaring them away? You'll definitely find them when I leave. So don't be sad," I say as I hug her. Her little arms wrap around me and squeeze me.
"I'm gonna miss you," she mumbles as I pull away.
"I'll miss you, too."
...
I begin the struggle of loading my bags into my car. Carrie and George both had to help me lift them.
I brought way too much shit.
I close the trunk of my car and turn to go back into the house. One last minute check and I'll be gone. I slowly walk up the stairs and into the empty bedroom that I used to call mine. I look in the empty closet and find nothing. It's all packet away. I get on my knees and look under my bed.
Oh.
I grab the Ed Sheeran CD from under my bed. The one Jake gave me for Christmas. I frown as I look down at the dusty CD cover. I hold it in my hand and slowly stand up. I set my purse on the dresser and a white envelope catches my eye.
I need to give him that note.
I grab the envelope full of notebook paper off of my desk. "Jacob" is written on it very small.
I slowly open Jake's bedroom door and check to see if he is there. He's still gone. He won't be back until he knows I am long gone. I slip in and hold the letter in my hand. This could change things. I hope it does.
But will that change be good for us?
He said it himself. We aren't good for each other. We're toxic.
I huff as I stuff the envelope into my pocket. Some things don't need to be said.
I turn to exit his room, and Spike sits in the doorway.
"Spike," I say in a baby voice. He lets out a light woof as I walk over to him. I rub the top of his head as he tries to lick my face. "I'll miss you too, Buddy."
He runs out of the room, probably back to Sam. I turn and look at Jake's room for one last time before quietly shutting the door.
I walk back into my room to get my purse off of the dresser.
"You're leaving today?" I hear a deep voice ask.
He's back.
I turn and look at Jake standing in my empty bedroom doorway.
I nod my head as I grab my purse off of the dresser.
"Right now, actually." There is a pause. "You won't have to put up with me any longer," I mumble as I give him a weak smile. I can't look him in the eyes.
He glances around the room and then his gaze falls on me.
"I'll miss you," he says as he leans his head against the doorway. He blocks my only exit.
His eyes are bloodshot. Getting high this early in the morning? He really has gone back to his old ways.
"I have to go," I say as I walk towards him, hoping he gets the memo to move out of my way.
He doesn't.
"Are you gonna miss me?" He asks as his red eyes look down at me.
I stay quiet and look down at my shoes.
"Please don't do this," I whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek.
"Are you gonna miss me?" He repeats, standing firmly in front of the doorway.
"I already do." I huff. He isn't the same person I knew five days ago.
He stays silent.
"Well, goodbye, Maya." He takes a pause. "Oh, and we're even." He says with a devious smirk.
"What do you mean we're even?" I say as I narrow my eyes. I look up at him. What does he mean?
"I fucked Zach's girlfriend. He has a girlfriend by the way. He cheated on her, just like you cheated on me. I also got even with Tiffany. Twice. Plus Angela and Riley."
I look up at him, dumbfounded.
Four girls? Four? Because he felt the need to get even?
"I didn't fuck Zach. I didn't fuck anyone!" I angrily say to him. "I kissed Zach. It was midnight. On New Years! I was drunk, Jacob. And I was pissed at you for lying to me about the drugs. It was one mistake. I wish I hadn't. And I would do anything to go back to that night and change my decision. But I'm glad your happy with yours."
His eyes narrow. "You went home with him! He was in the car and you left with him!" He tries to argue his point.
"He was helping me with Kat! Some guy fucked her while she was passed out drunk and Zach was there. He helped me get Kat home. And then he went home. We didn't do anything. He was there to help me when you were busy getting high." I say as I try to push through the doorway.
He firmly stands, not letting me push him out of the way. I'm trapped in this room.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He says weakly as he tries to put his hands on my shoulders. I shake his hands off of me. All I can think of is the other girls he has held with those hands. I can't have him near me right now. I need to be alone.
I want my mom. My life is falling apart, and she always knew what to say to make me feel better.
"Why didn't I tell you? I guess I thought you would understand that I'm not the kind of girl to fuck a guy the first night I meet them. But I guess you don't know me as well as I thought. I guess we don't know each other as well as we thought."
He stays quiet, I can tell his mind is racing. His eyes dart back and forth, trying to process everything.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the crumpled envelope. I look down at it, and then at Jake.
"What's that?" He asks as he reaches out for it.
"Something I wrote to you. And something I never want you to read." I say as I tear the envelope into two, then four, then eight pieces.
I watch the small pieces of paper slip from my hands and drift down to the ground. Everything that I wanted to say. Everything that I now want to forget.
"Goodbye, Jacob. I'll see you at school." I huff as I push past him. He stands, staring down at the pieces of paper.
I walk out to my car, Carrie stands next to it. "Ready?" She asks with a smile on her face.
"I am. Thank you so much for watching after me. It means so much. I'll have to keep in touch," I say as I hug her. She squeezes me tightly.
"And thank you. For showing Jake the person he should be. When you to were together, he was finally my son again." She says with a tear in her eye. "I hope he'll find his way back to that person."
I exhale slowly as I glance back at the house. Jake stands in the window looking down at us.
"Me too."
~A/N~
Happy Independence Day to all of my American fans! I'm so excited for the fireworks, swimming, sparklers, and barbecues! Plus, today is one of my best friend's birthdays. So, she's really excited. Gonna watch a lot of scary movies and eat wayyy to many cupcakes. Oops.
Hope everyone's holiday is spectacular.
Also, I'm flying to Maui, Hawaii on Thursday and I'm too excited. I love flying, and I also love traveling. Finally getting out of California. Anyone know of fun places to go to or things to do in Maui?
Anyways, I hope to update soon. Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!