Elena's POV
I sit on the edge, on the right side of the king-sized bed. Letting out a sigh, I glance at the framed picture placed on nightstand, doing what it's meant to do, keeping time frozen. I observe the happenings on the picture, chuckling at how naïve I was. Maybe that was its purpose, to give me a lesson. Flashbacks run through my mind.
My hands are shaking from the nerves tingling down my spine. I lightly rub them on the white silky fabric of my dress. I look at the reflection in the mirror, in front of me, making sure I got everything I need. From the elegant bun on my head, to my light but still noticeable make-up, to the long, beautiful dress, to my white heels.
Letting out a deep breath, I call out for my father. "Dad! I'm ready!"
He comes rushing into the room, looking up and down at me, taking in my appearance. I smile lightly at him, awaiting his response.
"You look gorgeous, honey. My baby girl is getting married..."Moisture starts to dwell in his eyes, me noticing how hard he tries into holding the tears back.
"Thank you." I quietly reply.
"Well," he takes a deep breath, "shall we?" He comes over to my right side, and takes my arm under his.
"We shall." I breathe out.
The doors have opened, and all the guests have turned around, to us. I spot Harry turning his head towards me. I glance at the people that have come for our wedding and smile at some. I bring my gaze back at Harry, biting back a grin.
When we arrive at the altar, my father hands me over to Harry, my future to be husband. A rush of excitement goes through my body, as that thought appears in my head. He is smartly dressed, in a black suit with a bowtie around his neck. His hair is nicely put somewhat in a quiff, looking as graceful as ever.
"You're beautiful." He says with a hushed voice.
"You don't look that bad yourself." I purse my lips.
- - - - - - - - -
"I do." Harry says not breaking eye contact.
"I do."
"Mummy, mummy, daddy is here!" A small voice interrupts my thoughts, breaking me away from the past.
"I'll be right there, sweety!" I call out to my three year old daughter, Lilly.
Getting up, another flashback replays in my head.
"Harry, I have something to tell you." I tell my husband, who's watching the ball drop in NYC, on television.
"The ball is gonna drop any second now, Elena, not now." His eyes stayed glued to the TV.
"But it's importa-" I attempt to tell him my-no, our great news, but he cuts me off.
"Can't it wait? This is also important." He shrugs me off.
"I mean it can wait for nine months." I emphasize the word nine, trying to indirectly say what I want to say.
He snaps his head towards me with wide eyes. "What do you mean nine months?"
"I'm pregnant." I shrug my shoulders with raised eyebrows, telling him the news simply.
Harry jumps off the sofa, rushing to my side, touching my belly instinctively. "Are you-are you serious?"
"Yea, I'm trying to tell you I'm pregnant, but I mean you can watch the ball drop." I say jokingly.
"Screw the ball, we're gonna have a baby." He says so calmly, like he hasn't realized it yet. Suddenly, I'm lifted off the ground, feeling his arms around my waist. "We're having a baby!" He exclaims, making me erupt into giggles.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Pictures from my dream slip away, as I'm being brought to reality by someone tugging at my shoulder. I groan. Harry.
"What now?" I turn around and look at him through half-closed lids, he knows I barely sleep with my belly-bump.
"I was thinking right, if it's a boy we can name him Dylan, and if it's a girl Lilly, what do you think?"
His eyes look nowhere near tired, his pupils wide. "Have you been awake this whole time?" I say in my groggy voice. I look over to the clock on the nightstand. "It's 5 in the morning, are you serious?"
"I was just thinking, okay, now tell me do you like those?" He questions.
"Yes, I like them, can we go back to sleep now?" I raise my eyebrows.
"Yes, come 'ere." I roll over, so my leg is over his, and his arm is around my head.
"Goodnight, wifey." I chuckle at his nickname for me.
"Goodnight, hubby."
I go down the stairs, spotting Lilly's dark curly hair. As I enter the living room, I see Harry, sitting on the sofa, doing something on his phone.
"Hey, Harry." I greet him and notice as he gets up from his seat, when he hears my voice.
"Hey, Elena." I give him a quick hug and light kiss on the cheek.
"How're you? Long time, no see." He plops down on the sofa, putting his hands on his knees. I take a seat on the armchair across, tucking a piece of my blonde hair behind my ear.
"True, it's been a month, right? And yea, I'm good, the usual, work, home. What about you?" I carry out the conversation, asking him back.
"Yes, I've missed this little monster here." Lilly giggles as her father mentions her. "But, good, yea, same thing."
I nod at his answer and watch as Lilly climbs into his lap and bursts into laughter, as Harry starts tickling her.
I sweetly smile without noticing, just looking at the two of them, thinking back at the times when life was easier, when the only thing I needed to care about was just some homework.
Harry locks eyes with me, making me look away immediately. I no longer get the butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him, or feel my head spin at his touch. It's gone. Now, it's just calmness, silence.
"Hey, can you go play upstairs for a little bit, I have to talk to your mum about something." Harry quietly, or not so quietly, tells Lily. She does what he says and heads upstairs.
Silence is all there is between us, if you ask me, an uncomfortable one. I fiddle with my fingers, feeling his eyes watching my every move. It doesn't feel like a burning stare as it used to, now it's just uncomfortable.
"What do you want?" His voice makes me snap my head towards him.
"Excuse me?" I furrow my eyebrows, growing with confusion.
"What more do you want?" He gets up from his seat, causing me to follow his steps.
"Can you be more clear?" I voice my thoughts.
"You ripped my heart out, what more do you want?" He persistently asks the same question.
"What are you talking about?" I raise my tone just a tad bit, trying to come across his point.
"You know what I'm talking about. You come here, you hug me, you kiss me on the cheek, you act like nothing ever happened, try to be my friend. Do you even know how much you're hurting me?" He raises his voice to the point where he starts yelling.
"Stop yelling, Lilly is upstairs, I don't want her to be the child that spends her childhood listening to her parents yelling at each other. So be the bigger person and if you really wanna talk, let's take this outside." I say through gritted teeth, keeping my voice calm and steady.
He takes me by my forearm, not giving me a chance to even put my coat on. The front door shuts, as a chilly breeze makes my hair fly in every direction.
"And to answer your question, I'm doing what we decided we were going to do, parenting Lilly the right way, and that means maintaining a good relationship." I point my finger at him.
"Good parenting means us being together, not her spending her weekends with her dad and weekdays with her mum, Elena."
His words take me by surprise. I furrow my brows. "Is this what it is about? Us being together? Oh my god, Harry, you have to get over yourself, we signed the divorce papers six months ago, you agreed to this too." I tilt my head to side.
"I never wanted to sign those damn papers and you know it."
"See? This is why we got separated in the first place, we aren't good for each other." I motion with my hands, trying to put an end to this fight.
"That doesn't mean we don't love each other."
I gulp down and stare blankly at him. "D-don't." I stutter. Dammit.
He steps closer to me, reaching up for my cheek, running his finger down, caressing its skin. "What are we doing separated, Elena?" He says in a hushed voice.
"Stop it, Harry. I don't love you anymore." I swipe his hand away and compose myself. I turn around and twist the doorknob, when suddenly he pulls me by my forearm and pulls me in, where I feel his lips on mine.
I do nothing, I just stay stunned. His adds more pressure to my lips, thinking I would just give into it. Placing my hands onto his chest, I push him away. He looks at me with wide painful eyes.
"If you do that ever again, I swear t-"
I'm being cut off by the feeling of his lips moving against mine, where I let myself slip, and kiss back. It's been so long, and I realize that the calmness, the silence I was feeling was because I let myself think I didn't feel anything. When in reality, all I've ever wanted is the taste of his lips. He slips his tongue into my mouth, exploring it, and he runs his fingers through my hair.
"I missed your hair," he mumbles against my lips, "I missed your lips" another kiss, "I missed you smile", another kiss, "I missed you kisses", another kiss, "I missed you so much."
I let myself feel for the first time after a year, when I kicked him out of our house, and suddenly it clicked. The butterflies in my stomach, the way my head spins, the feeling as if time has been stopped, the way it feels like Harry and I are the only people in this world.
He pulls away, and looks at me so lovingly, i wonder how did we let ourselves get to this point.
"I lied."
"I know."
"I do love you."
"I know."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I should be sorry. What does this mean?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know? You still love me right?" He asks me uncertainly.
"Of course." I say without thinking twice.
"Well then?"
"I can't just jump into a big thing again, Harry." I shake my head apologetically. He sighs and nods frantically.
"I get it." He mumbles. "Let's go back inside."
I turn around and this time successfully make it inside my house. I feel him following right behind me. We take our previous sits and sit again in silence.
I watch him play with the fabric of his coat and study his face, his eyes that are the same shiny green, but have dark circles around them, his nose, his pink lips, his still sharp jaw that now has little hairs popping out, his hair, the little crinkle In his forehead.
"You're starring at me." His voice snaps me back as I look away, feeling my cheeks turn a pink color, muttering a sorry.
"I wish I was 20 again."
"Why?" I ask even though I can guess his answer.
"Things were easier." He shrugs his shoulders.
"Yea, they were." I look at my fingers.
"No work, no complications, nothing." His stares blankly at nothing, probably drawn into his own thoughts.
"I know what you mean."
"But you can make it easy again." I lift my head at his words.
"You know I can't. You know why I can't." I look as he nods at my reply. I know he's thinking about the same thing like me.
"You did what?" I ask him, looking at his red eyes and hair sticking everywhere.
"She kissed me, I pushed her away, I swear, one minute she was handing me my drink and the next she was all over me, but I swear, I pushed her away, baby, you have to believe me." He comes closer to me, taking my hands in his own, eyes staring into mine.
"Get out." I choke back a sob.
"What?"
"I said get out!"Now tears running down my cheeks, I point out to the front door.
"Please, Enna, don't do this, we can fix this.."
"Can we? We just keep fighting every day, whether it be about what we're having for lunch, or who's gonna bathe Lilly, or just anything, I'm just tired of all this." I let out a sigh and massage my temples with my point fingers.
"What-what are you trying to say?" His voice cracks and it feels like a knife has been twisted through my chest.
"I think we need a break." I state, with one last tear down my face.
"Well, I'm gonna go get Lilly so we can head off." He purses his lips and goes up the stairs, to get our daughter.
I take a deep breath and suddenly notice something different in the air. I furrow my brows at the scent, when I realize what it is.
Mint.
My favourite scent. It is my favourite one, because of the journey it takes you. Someone may laugh at my words, but it's just the way it is. For example a mint gum, just like the ones Harry chews every day, when you bite on it, you feel a fresh and bittersweet flavor inside your mouth. You chew more and more to get rid of the strong feeling, but when you eventually do, you miss it.
That's what Harry is for me. He's my mint. He makes me feel so strong and so powerful without doing anything really, and when he's gone, I can't help but feel down and think of that feeling. The feeling he gave me.
"Hey, Elena, we're going to go now, so..." Harry has his hand around Lilly's and her pink backpack on his shoulder.
"Okay, come here, sweety." Lilly drops his hand and runs over to me. I kneel down, so that I can hug her. She wraps her hands tightly around my neck as wrap mine around her tiny torso, keeping my eyes on Harry. "Have fun, okay?" I pull back and smile at her, noticing the excitement on her face.
She runs over to Harry, taking his hand once again, as I get up on my feet.
"See you tomorrow." He nods at me as Lilly waves her hand.
I watch them in slow motion, like this is some sort of a movie, like I'm supposed to do something, as yet another day from the past replays in my head.
"Hey, babe." Harry turns my attention to him.
"Yea?" He lifts his head from my lap, where I've been running my fingers through his hair, and gets up.
"Remember that time when I told you I'd sing for you one day?"
"Yes?" I furrow my brows, trying to see where he's going with this.
"So, you know how we got back together last week? I thought maybe I'd gain your trust and heart by singing you a song I wrote, only if you want though." He speaks fast, as if he's afraid of my answer.
"When did you turn into this hopeless romantic, huh?" He shrugs. "I'd love to." I answer with a smile.
He gives me a peck on the lips, and goes to grab his guitar. (Yes, he plays, when I found out I was even more shocked at how many hidden talents he has.)
"You do have my heart though." I quickly add.
He gets his desk-chair and places it in front of me. "And then I'm the hopeless romantic."
"Shut up and sing." I jokingly order him.
He clears his throat and starts playing an unfamiliar tune.
'I should ink my skin with your name
And take my passport out again
And just replace it
See I could do without a tan
On my left hand,
Where my fourth finger meets my knuckle
And I should run you a hot bath
And fill it up with bubbles
'Cause maybe you're loveable
And maybe you're my snowflake
And your eyes turn from green to gray
In the winter I'll hold you in a cold place
And you should never cut your hair
'Cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder
And you will never know
Just how beautiful you are to me
But maybe I'm just in love
When you wake me up'
But, at the end of the day, I pick another minty gum, craving for that same feeling. Thoughts run through my head, as I rethink everything. I take my head in my hands and close my eyes shut as I call out for the love of my life.
"Harry?"
Both of them turn around. I open my eyes and breathe heavily as I try to find the right words to say. He raises his eyebrows as I notice a spark of hope in his eyes.
"I do know what I want. And I don't want to wait anymore." I shake my head as he looks at me confusingly.
"Does this mean that you want to....?" He trails off, me feeling my heartbeat ringing in my ears, never being more sure in my life.
I know there's no going back as I utter the one word that defines my future.