It was a slow jazzy number and Josh took Devon in his arms, holding her close as he moved her around the floor. Suddenly tired, she rested her head on his shoulder as she sighed.
"When was the last time we danced together?" he asked.
"More than ten years ago." Devon smiled at the memory.
"Has it been that long?" Devon listened to his voice as it rumbled through his hard chest. He had rested his head on hers as they swayed. They weren't dancing so much as they were hugging.
Devon realized that she didn't want a dance she wanted to be held, but not just by anyone, only by Josh, and that wouldn't do. She broke away from him with a smile. "Why don't we go and get some food. I can feel the Smother's eye's watching us with displeasure."
"I don't suppose you know why?" he asked.
"Oh I know why, but I think we should get some food first," Devon insisted.
"And some liquid fortification," Josh added.
"That too," she agreed.
They silently made their way to the kitchen and started to raid the pantry and fridge, moving around the catering company who looked at them as if they were crazy. With their arms full, Josh pushed her out of the backdoor and down the hill towards the guesthouse and pool. It looked so quiet and peaceful compared to what lay behind them.
"I'm surprised the Smothers put us both in the guesthouse," Devon said as she threw open the sliding door that led from the pool's patio into the kitchen area. There was a table between the door and the kitchen bar and she threw the stuff she was carrying onto it.
It was early fall in Virginia and the leaves had started to turn, but the evening was warm enough that they could leave the door open to enjoy the music coming down from the main house on the hill. "I'll change first, my feet hurt," Devon insisted as she moved towards the bedroom she had chosen for herself, trying to think of what she could wear to impress Josh.
"Stop it!" she chided herself as she closed the door. This was Josh, sure they had one make-out session ten years ago, but they had both moved on and there was no need to impress him. He was the same old Josh, besides he probably had a girlfriend.
Choosing not to dwell on her last thought, she pulled on a pair of cotton shorts and an old cotton t-shirt, opting to go barefoot and deciding to leave her hair as it was to save time. The change took her less than five minutes, and she beat Josh back to the kitchen. She was rifling through the bags, trying to decide what she could make when his door opened.
The house was one giant open floor plan. There was the main living area with the kitchen at one end and the doors to the two bedrooms at the other. Each bedroom had its own bathroom.
She glanced up with a smile already on her face, and it was a smile she had to force as she saw Josh. Gone was his impeccable suit, he was wearing a pair of well-worn jeans and a tight grey colored t-shirt that made his eyes look more grey than the tie had. He was even more fit than he had been in college if that was possible. His muscles bulged under his t-shirt and she could make out the edge of a tattoo circling his bicep.
Josh was watching her intently from across the room as she took in his appearance.
"Does your Mother know about that tattoo?" Devon teased as she forced herself to start pulling out the makings for sandwiches. After a quick look in the fridge, which she stood in front of a little too long, she realized she could make them Monte Cristos. "How about Monte Cristos?" she asked.
"Sure," he agreed as he walked out onto the patio and looked back up towards the house.
"Why don't you make yourself a little useful and pour us some wine," Devon suggested as she reached for a pan.
"Where are the glasses?" he asked.
Devon pointed to the cabinet behind her and watched as Josh reached for the glasses, thinking that he was a mystery even to his own parents. He had a trust fund that was set-up for him by his maternal grandfather so he never had to worry about money. When he graduated from high school he sort of fell off of the map for most of his friends. Whenever she asked his parents how he was or what he was doing she always got vague answers, so they either didn't know or had no wish to share with her.
"So, what have you been up to these past ten years?" Devon asked, suddenly curious as she mixed up a batter for their sandwiches.
"A little bit of this and a little bit of that, nothing much." He didn't seem eager to elaborate as he poured the wine. Devon had been all about getting drunk earlier, but now she didn't want to miss a minute of her time with Josh, so she only took a sip of her wine before setting it back down.
"What's the story with Hal, there must be one?" Josh looked at her for a moment before his eyes narrowed in suspicion as she shrugged "Like that, is it?" He could always read her easily.
"Yep, but this is the first one she's agreed to marry." Devon took another sip of wine as she watched his biceps flex when he reached for a chair to straddle it.
He didn't comment only continued to watch her until she could no longer stand it.
"What, Josh! Have I grown a second head, do I have a booger hanging out of my nose? What?" Maybe he was a mind reader now. Maybe he could see or guess her very improper thoughts about him.
"You've changed," he said, his deep voice resonating through her.
"Not that much, Josh, and you've changed too, but at least I'm not staring at you. It's making me very self-conscious and uncomfortable." Devon turned back towards the stove and began frying the sandwiches.
"Tell me about Bree's husband to be." Josh took the subject back to the original topic.
"His name is Hal Reilly, and he comes from a very prominent Hollywood family."
"And you dated him first?" Josh seemed surprised.
"Do you find it that hard to believe that someone with that kind of background would date me?" Devon asked defensively.
"Relax, Firefly. I just can't imagine where you would have met a man with that kind of background, that's all." His tone was soothing.
"I met him in California," she said, focusing on the sandwiches in front of her.
"When were you in California?" Devon heard the surprise in his voice and turned to find him still watching her closely.
"For the past ten years. I ended up going to school out there and liked it so much I stayed." But she didn't tell him that she was no longer living in California. She had transferred to Virginia a month ago, and she was starting her new teaching job the following week.
Devon started to plate the sandwiches. Picking them up she carried them over to the table and Josh followed with his glass of wine.
"So, Hal?" Josh asked again after they were settled.
Josh was like a dog with a bone and he wasn't going to give it up. "Yes, we only dated a few weeks before the beautiful Bree showed up on the scene for a visit, and the rest is, as they say, history." Devon smiled at her own cliché and looked up to see if he was still watching her.
"You don't seem terribly upset." Josh scratched his bicep, drawing Devon's attention to the muscles there as well as the tattoo that encircled his arm.
"He was a good dinner companion, but that's about all."
"You and he never..." Josh had the grace to look a bit uncomfortable.
Devon smiled, only he would have the guts to ask her that question. "No, I hadn't put out yet. In fact, I've never put out for any of the guys that left me for my sister." The last part was said with a little bit of self-revelation.
"So, you're calling your sister a slut." Josh nodded as he picked up his sandwich.
"Joshua McIntire you take that back," Devon insisted, throwing her napkin at him which he caught with ease.
"Hey, you implied it." He shrugged and Devon couldn't help but gulp at the way his large shoulders moved under his tight t-shirt.
It was definitely something to think about later but now it was her turn to corner him. "So why are you here? It's not like you've been to many of the McIntire and Tatum gatherings. At least not for the past ten years."
"Mom called and said that it was important. She assured me I would never be forgiven if I didn't come, and I had the time, so here I am." It was a statement that told Devon exactly nothing.
"You had the time? To hear your mother talk you have nothing but time." She tried again, but he evaded her with another question.
"But I'm sure you know why I'm really here, you wanna clue me in?" He took a large bite of his sandwich, his straight teeth white against the brown toast.
"They want you to marry Bree," Devon said taking a bite of her sandwich and watching as he started to choke on his while he reached for his wine.
"How is this news to you?" Devon asked, shocked. "They've wanted the two of you to marry ever since I can remember. They want you and Bree to live happily ever after, uniting the two families, and spitting out a few grand-babies." Devon had to force herself to swallow the bite of sandwich she had in her mouth at the thought of Bree and Josh together.
Her eyes jumped to Josh to see what his reaction to her comment was, and she watched as he transformed before her eyes. He went from laid back and relaxed to ready to fight. He stood up and walked to the kitchen grabbing a glass and filling it with water from the tap.
Devon was fascinated by the change in him. This Josh was a stranger to her, and she guessed to his parents as well. Gone was his smile and his eyes were as cold as steel. He got played and he was just realizing it.
"Relax Josh, she's your mother, she's supposed to be able to play you, but I have to admit I'm surprised that after all of these years you've never caught on to the plan." Devon turned in her chair to watch him as he leaned against the counter, deep in thought.
There was a long silence before he spoke. "Why Bree, why not you?"
Devon's heart jumped, and she had to clear her throat before she could answer, and even then her voice was a little huskier than she would have liked. "You and Bree are the favorites."
His gaze wandered back to her and what he was thinking was a mystery.
Needing to change the subject desperately, before she threw herself at him, she gave a sad excuse for a smile. "Never mind the Smothers, what did you think of Hal's mother?"
He looked confused for a minute at the change of subject before he shrugged. "Was I supposed to think something specific?"
"She was eyeing you like you were her favorite snack food." Devon forced herself to pick up her sandwich and take another bite.
"Was she?" He was watching her again but this time with a smile,. "Were you jealous?"
"No, more concerned for your safety." Devon grinned, ignoring the fact that she had indeed been very jealous.
Josh actually laughed a strong belly laugh as if she had just said the funniest thing. "I think I would have been able to handle her," he finally said, shaking his head.
"Like you handled the principle's wife in high school?" Devon hinted.
"Cheeky girl," Josh moved back towards the table. "Is that your way of asking if that really happened?"
"Did it?" Devon jumped on it.
He took a bite of his sandwich and looked at her, deliberating his answer. "No, does that disappoint you?" he asked.
She shook her head, secretly relieved. "I always had a hard time believing that one."
"Then why did you ask?" Josh frowned.
"You had a lot of girls chasing you if I recall, and after witnessing Annabelle's ...admiration for you, I can see how that could have been the case with an older woman back then as well. You know, a lot of the girls who befriended me in school were not my friends because of my winning personality." At his confused look her heart melted, for all of his good looks he was not in the least conceited, and that was part of his charm. He had his father to thank for that. "They wanted to get to you through me."
"Are you serious?" He stopped mid-bite.
"Hmmm," she said around a mouth full of food. "Every girl in school wanted to be your girlfriend."
"I think you're exaggerating." Josh shook his head.
"No, I'm not," Devon reassured him.
"Is that why you let me kiss you that night? Were you hoping I'd be your boyfriend?" The suddenness of the question and the fact that it came out of left field blindsided her.
"How long have you been waiting to ask that question?" She sat down her sandwich.
"I really am curious? Why did you let me take it so far that night, was it to get back at Bree who had stolen your boyfriend yet again, was that it? When I tried to call you the next day you told your mother you didn't want to talk to me." He leaned back and crossed his arms.
Devon's mouth fell open. Damn those women they knew everything, and they had ruined everything. She took a deep breath keeping her voice calm. "No, I never said that, and I never knew you called." She cleared her throat. "Why did you call?"
"To apologize." His eyes met hers and every dream she had ever had about that moment died. It had really meant nothing to him.
She stood, picking up her plate carrying it to the kitchen. "It's alright," she said with her back to him as she placed her plate in the sink, hoping the action masked the quiver in her voice.
"Devon, I really am sorry, we should talk about it," he insisted.
"What would be the point. I'm tired, so I'll say goodnight, Josh." Devon moved around the counter to go to her room. There was no way she was going to let him ruin the one romantic memory she had by saying it was a mistake.
His arm reached out to grab her. "Stop."
"Why, Josh? Why are you sorry it happened?" Her eyes bored into his.
"I'm not sorry it happened, I'm sorry I left as I did," he corrected her.
"You should be! You should've stayed and finished what you started!" She closed her eyes, mortified that she had just said what she had even if it was true. She wished he had stayed instead of leaving her cold and forlorn to go back to the party alone and pretend that nothing had happened.
His eyes grew wide in surprise at her outburst.
"Forget it, Josh. It was a long time ago." But to her, it felt like yesterday.
"I'm glad I didn't." He released her arm and moved away from her turning his back to her.
His words crushed her; he was glad he had stopped, he hadn't wanted to finish what he started. Needing to be alone and feel sorry for herself in private, she turned to leave but his voice stopped her again.
"It's not for the reason you think." He didn't turn around as he looked up at the main house.
"And what is the reason that I'm thinking," Devon couldn't help the bitterness in her voice as she asked the question.
"What you always think, that you're not attractive enough, or funny enough, or smart enough. The list goes on and on with you, doesn't it? Poor little Devon, her life is so hard. She can't catch a break, can she?" His voice was hard.
Devon blanched at his words they were so true they were like bullets. Is that what he really thought of her now, and all of those years ago? That she was a whiner? She was suddenly sorry she had shared so much with him.
"There might be some truth in what you say," she softly said, "But there is also some merit in the way I feel." She gripped the back of a chair wringing the wood with her hands. "Fine, I don't know what your reason for stopping that night was, and it probably doesn't matter now. After all, it was only a heated make-out session, right? But I did do what you told me to; I left. I changed my life. I found out who I was and I like me. It's only when I come back here that I feel sorry for myself."
"Why?" The word was like a bullet.
"You had no clue that I lived in California for the past ten years did you, and I don't suppose that you know I have a PhD, or that I am a practicing psychologist?" She couldn't help the haughty raise of her eyebrow because she knew she was right.
He stilled and if it had been anyone but Josh their mouth would have fallen open with shock. "By your silence, I'll take that to be a no. How many times have you seen my parents in the last ten years? I imagine a time or two. Now if I ask you what Bree does, I bet you know."
Josh walked towards her as if realizing something for the first time.
"Most times I deal with the fact that I will never measure up, and away from here it doesn't matter, but when I come home and I'm pushed to the sidelines it hurts. I have worked hard for ten years to make something of myself, someone my parents would be willing to brag about, but do they? No. That's why sometimes," she stressed the word sometimes, "I feel sorry for myself, and the reason I used to share that hurt with you was because I believed that you were my friend, one of my best friends." Her voice broke on the last word.
Suddenly, more tired than she had been in a long time, she shook her head. "I don't expect you to get it, you're a favored child, but for us lesser mortals it's a fight for every atta girl and pat of approval."
When he stood there silently staring at her, a cold expression on his face, she gave a weak smile. "I really will say goodnight now." Then she headed towards her room, "Oh, I like to run in the morning, but I'll try to be quiet and not wake you." She added it more to say something than because she thought he would care.
She slowly closed the door behind her and reached up to let her hair down. She was not going to cry. It was a long time ago. Not bothering with pajamas, she stripped and fell into bed. Letting her mind remember the one time she had been in Josh's arms.