It turns out that planning a wedding is not as fun as one would hope. Like yesterday, I went dress shopping for eleven hours before the personal shopper lost her mind and made us leave the store. Or when I went to pick out colors: I favored pale pink and a soft off white, Nathaniel's mother wanted Navy and white, and my mother wanted sea foam green and gold. I compromised, choosing sea foam green and the soft white that Nathaniel's mother wanted. Not to mention place settings, silverware, and centerpieces. I didn't even attempt to get into that argument, all that I required was white peonies and hydrangeas, which seemed a simple request to both the women.
Today, Nathaniel and I are choosing a cake flavor for our wedding that is a month away. It seems crazy to think about. It was already late November, in less than a month I'd be married and I'd be the new Mrs. Woods.
"A.B., you ready?" He called from the foyer. I grinned as I put the back on the diamond stud earrings he got me and raced to meet him. I stopped when I saw him. He was in a pair of dark wash jeans and a white button down and a pair of his leather shoes. His sunglasses hung from the collar of his button down. He looked as classic as usual, and him in jeans was a rare sight, so I reveled in the seldom sight.
I wore a pair of black heels, white loose fitting jeans, and a black button down, my hair up in a ballerina bun, my black purse in hand. "I'm just saying this now, I want-"
"Lemon, strawberry, or chocolate, I know," he said with a chuckle, opening the door and grabbing my hand, a routine we had down to a science. He locked the door behind us as we walked out to his black Bentley. I would never get used to his money. I came from money, enough to support the lifestyle I wanted, but he had money, more money than I could ever comprehend spending.
When we got in the car he left one hand on the wheel and the other intertwined with mine on my thigh. "I can't believe we are getting married," he said softly as we pulled up outside the bakery. I nodded my head, getting out of the car, immediately met by the delicious smell of food. As soon as Nathaniel opened the door my senses went wild. Every delicious scent-cheesecake, chocolate, tiramisu, key lime pie, cakes-met my nose, making me weak.
"Good afternoon Nathaniel," the baker said, wiping her hands off on her apron. I immediately stood a little taller at how casually she said his name. It seemed so familiar on her mouth.
"Nice to see you Lena," Nathaniel said, ignoring formalities, pulling her into a hug, taking me off guard. He knew her? He left his arm around her shoulders, grinning at me. "You look beautiful," he said, kissing her temple, making a slight frown form on my face as I watched them. He was so comfortable and affectionate towards her, a past lover, perhaps? I bristled at the thought. Portia was enough for me to worry about, I don't think my stomach could handle another.
"Who is this beauty you have brought to me today, Nathaniel?" She asked in a genuine, kind voice, making me look from her bright eyes to his, arching a brow. He grinned his lopsided grin as he stepped away from the girl, Lena.
"Sis, I'd like you to meet my finance, Astoria Wellington." This caught me off guard and also made the tension leave from my shoulders. I let out a sigh of relief. Sister? That would explain his gentleness and affection towards her.
"My brother enjoys hiding the things he cares for most from me," she said with a pointed look at Nathaniel before her blue eyes roamed my features. "I wish we could have met at the engagement party," she said in a thick Italian accent as I grinned at her. "But my brother had other plans for you that evening. He hid you from me all evening, what a scoundrel of an older brother." She grinned warmly at me, pulling me into a hug, catching me off guard. "You're even more beautiful than my family has told me," she said, holding me at arms length before leading us into the kitchen. "She's far more quiet than I had expected."
Nathaniel scoffed behind me as I elbowed him in the ribs. He covered his snickering laugh with a cough as I glared at him. "Catalina, are you sure that we talking about the same Astoria?" Nathaniel asked with a Cheshire grin. Catalina paid no attention to him; instead she turned to me as she circled the table in the center of the bakery, sitting across from Nathaniel and I.
"Nathaniel tells me that you like strawberry and chocolate cake?" She asked, sitting on her stool, reaching for the pen and paper in front of her. I nodded, marveling at all of the people in the kitchen. The phrase 'there are too many cooks in the kitchen' is not fitting to this scene; everyone was so in sync, it was awing. There must be twenty bakers in here, and not a single one showed any form of weakness, all perfectly in sync.
"Hello?" Nathaniel asked, waving his hand in front of my face, gesturing towards the cake in front of me. My eyes almost popped out of my head. It was chocolate cake with strawberry chunks and strawberry filling between layers. My stomach growled and Lena smiled warmly. I could see the similarities between her and her brother, not only did they have the same dark, wavy hair, but they also had the same almond shaped eyes and warm, olive complexion. She had his same dark, curly hair, but hers was pulled back in a bun off her neck.
"This is so good, Lean," Nathaniel purred beside me as I took my first bite. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste.
"Is that... dark chocolate and... a hint of vanilla?" I asked.
Lena nodded, passing me another plate with a lemon cake with butter cream frosting and a cute lemon drawn on the top. "This is Nate's favorite cake," she said, sitting up straighter, making me smile. I knew Nathaniel was right to keep me away from her until now; we got along instantly, I had a feeling we'd be inseparable in the future. I could see the love she had for her brother reflecting in her eyes, making me smile, wishing I had someone like that in my life. Livingston was the closest thing I had to a brother, and even then, he hardly spoke to me since the engagement party. He wanted a wife, not another sister.
"Well?" Nathaniel said expectantly beside me, making me grin before picking up my fork.
I took a bite of the lemon and again I was awed. "How have I not met you before today?" I asked, taking another bite of the chocolate strawberry. "This is the best I've ever had," I purred.
I felt Nathaniel's foot nudge mine, his hand resting on my lap as he leaned close to me. "I thought I was the best thing you've ever hand," he whispered huskily, making goose bumps form on my arms as I pulled back from him.
"Nathaniel George," I said, swatting at him playfully. "I don't like what you're implying," I teased, earning a roaring laugh from him.
"Astoria wants a sheet cake, and a three tiered cake, the top looking like the aisle we will walk down, with the petals on the outside of the aisle, and the other two tiers squares with whatever designs you think look best, Lean, she's putting her happiness in your hands," he teased. "Better not disappoint my beautiful bride," he said with a teasing gleam in his eyes.
"I don't see how she could ever disappoint me, Nathaniel. In fact, I think you have competition," I said teasingly, watching a scowl form on his face as he pulled me closer to his side.
Lena nodded her head, jotting down notes, ignoring our playful banter. "Any preference for cake flavors?" She asked.
"Chocolate strawberry!" I said excitedly.
"Lemon!" Nathaniel said at the same time. We turned to face each other.
"Chocolate strawberry it is," Lena said with a grin.
"Catalina Gray," Nathaniel chided. "Don't make me tell mom," he warned with a teasing gleam in his eyes. I loved this Nathaniel, the teasing, fun, easy going Nathaniel. I rarely saw him, but when I did, it was magical.
"We'll take both," I said, rolling my eyes. "I'll sacrifice a layer of the cake for my fiancée," I said cheekily, grinning at him, unable to stop the giggle that bubbled in my chest at the sight of his sulking face.
"Sure thing Astoria," Lena said with a grin, closing her folder. "She's good to you, if I had my way, I'd only serve the chocolate strawberry," Lena teased, watching Nathaniel's face turn into a pout as he regarded her.
"She has her moments when she is a little angel," Nathaniel mused, poking my sides, making me elbow him playfully. I felt Lena's eyes on us and quickly composed myself, watching the knowing amused look in her eyes as he looked to Nathaniel.
"I've never seen you so playful, Nate," Catalina said finally. Nathaniel looked like the kid who got caught stealing the cookie from the cookie jar. His cheeks flamed as he shifted uncomfortably beside me.
"Astoria brings out my inner child," Nathaniel reasoned.
Catalina nodded, smirking at him before clasping her hands together. "So, I have to know, how did the two of you come to be?" She asked, resting her head in her upturned palms.
We looked at each other and I couldn't stop the grin that formed on my face. "Nathaniel was stalking me outside the Shangri La Hotel in Paris," I said, leaning back on my stool, watching his face flame an even brighter red. "Eventually he built up the courage to ask me on an anonyms date through my mother."
Lena burst out laughing. "You what?" She asked, grinning at Nathaniel. "I never pegged you as the passive aggressive type, Nate."
He shifted, glaring at me. "Well that's not exactly how it happened... mother wanted me to go on a date with her. And I, being the gentleman I am, asked her mother if I could take her on a proper date, and the rest is history."
"You asked her mother?" Lena clarified with a teasing glint.
He ran a hand through his hair, standing up, wrapping his arms around my shoulder, and crushing me to his chest. "First, he stood outside the hotel in the pouring rain, watching me for nearly an hour, I only knew it was him because of the tabloids!"
Lena gave Nathaniel a shocked expression, which turned smug in seconds. "You totally stalked her! My brother finally met a girl who could make him nervous!" Lena burst out laughing, watching Nathaniel roll his eyes. I beamed up at him, watching the blush creep down his cheeks as he looked down at me.
"I don't know why I chose to keep her around," he said, nuzzling my neck. "But I just couldn't seem to keep her off my mind after I saw her that night. She looked so beautiful, I knew I needed to make her my wife."
My heart fluttered in my chest. He'd never said something like that in front of me. Maybe he was trying to make it seem as genuine as possible in front of his sister, or maybe he really meant what he said. I couldn't stop the part of my mind that nagged at me, that told me that Nathaniel had no intention of loving me; a part of me still believed that he was with Portia. But of course that part of my mind was wrong... right? We've been looking at places to stay together in Lyon, we've-
"Awwh," Lena purred, clapping her hands together, stopping my train of thought. "I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy who isn't that awful Portia," she said crinkling her nose.
I felt Nathaniel stiffen, but he didn't release me. Portia was a tender topic with him, any time I brought it up it caused a fight, so I avoided it all together. He relaxed after a moment, kissing me behind my ear before straightening himself, resting his hands on my shoulders. "Astoria is no Portia," he said after a moment, settling one half of me, and scaring the other part. I was not Portia, and I didn't know if he wanted someone like Portia, or someone like... me.
"I like her Nathaniel, and I haven't been able to say that about anyone you've ever courted. Don't screw this up," Lena said, coming to my side, pulling me behind her, leaving Nathaniel alone at the table as he watched us disappear into Lena's office.
"What's-"
"You need to watch out for that crazy bitch," Lena said with a pointed look.
"I know-"
"No, you don't understand," Lena said with a soft expression. "She's out to get him back, if she get's him back, it could be the end of all things. Nathaniel, you, our families..." she trailed off. "She is a poison, and she is in his system, she is going to try her hardest to break you two up."
I sighed, sitting on the couch beside her. "I know she is still trying to reach him," I whispered, closing my eyes. Lena was the first person I admitted it to, and she seemed just as taken aback as I did. It was the first time I acknowledged it out loud. It tasted sour on my tongue. "He left his phone at home the other day, plugged in beside mine, and it kept going off, so I went to see if it was anyone important, and it was her-the contact was a picture of them together. He looked so happy," I breathed, wiping my eyes. "This is silly, I shouldn't be-"
Lena grabbed my hand, smiling somberly at me. "Nathaniel cares about you, he really cares about you, but he cares about her for God knows why too. I don't think he would cheat on you, but-"
I leaned forward, putting my head between my knees, taking in a shaky breath. "Two nights ago..." I whispered, counting the small tiles on the floor. "He didn't come home from work, which isn't uncommon. Sometimes he gets so busy, he stays in the office. But I saw the text from her about 'last night' and-"
"Did you ask him about it?" She asked. I shook my head.
"It's none of my business, he doesn't even know that I know. Sometimes he comes home late, or not at all, either way it's not something I can change."
"You need to show him what he's missing out on," she said with the same glint in her eyes as Nathaniel had when he had a devious plan, which made me anxious. "We're going shopping," she said, wiping off her work clothes and grabbing a bag from under her desk and pulling on a dress.
"Lena-"
She laughed, letting her hair down from her sleek bun, letting it fall in loose curls down her back. "Honey, I wasn't asking for your permission," she said, leading me out the back entrance towards her car.
"What about Nathaniel-" I began, turning on my heel, but she latched onto my wrist, opening the car door, hurrying me inside.
"He'll understand," she said with a smile as we sped off towards the shopping district. She stopped outside of Neiman Marcus. She didn't waste time pulling items off the shelves, putting them in the arms of personal shoppers. "Go start a room," she said distractedly, holding up a short, tight black dress in my direction before shaking her head, putting it on the rack and continuing to peruse. "Go!" She said with a grin as I reluctantly followed the clerk into the dressing room.
I practically tried on the entire store, but Lena wasn't satisfied, so our next stop was Victoria's Secret. We had six bags of lingerie, dresses, and new shoes. When Lena drove me back to my penthouse she got busy with helping me put things away, sending me sly smiles when she would come across an article of Nathaniel's clothes. I blushed, when Nathaniel would visit me on the weekends or the weekdays when he wasn't needed in Lyon, he would spend the night with me in Paris, or I would go visit him for the weekend. His place was also peppered with my clothing and my perfume.
"This is beautiful," Lena said, flopping herself down on my bed, staring up at my crystal chandelier. "I can see why Nathaniel can't keep himself out of Paris, between you and this beautiful penthouse, I would never leave either," she said, rolling over on her stomach, staring at me.
"Does Nathaniel speak about me much?" I asked, folding one last sweater, putting it in my dresser drawer.
She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows. "What do you want to know?" She asked.
"Does... does Nathaniel want to be with me?" I asked tentatively.
Her eyes softened as she sat up. "He does genuinely care about you Astoria, I don't think he could fake that. He hasn't cared about many people before; you're a rare exception to the rule. But do you want to be with him?"
I nodded my head, sitting on the bed beside her. I sighed. "For the first time, I've realized that I do want to spend my life with someone else. I've always known I was going to get married, but I never intended to love the man I marry," I mused, watching her eyes widen.
"You love him?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head. "You do!" She screeched. "Oh, you do you do you do!"
"Shh!" I whispered. "Keep your voice down, he should be home soon."
She grinned at me. "Does he know?"
I shook my head. "No, and I don't intend on him knowing. Not with Portia potentially still in the picture, I don't want to scare him away," I whispered. "We have a month until the wedding, I can't drop a bombshell on him like that-I-I can't."
I heard rumbling in the kitchen and both of us looked at each other.
"Astoria? Lena? Are you home?" A voice called as we raced from the bedroom to the kitchen. "What did the two of you do that you look so guilty about?" He eyed us suspiciously.
"Nothing," we said in unison, sheepishly smiling at each other.
"Alright, well, I have to go visit a friend for a few hours, please try to keep out of trouble," he said, not breaking eye contact with an unreadable expression on his face. "I will see you tonight, okay Astoria?" He said softly, as if he was walking on eggshells around me. It was as if he knew that I knew, it was like he could sense that something was off.
I nodded my head as he brushed my arm, kissing Lena's forehead before stepping out. We looked at each other and couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled out of our chests. "I hope he didn't hear me," I whispered, face palming.
"He heard, lover girl," she said with a sinister smile as she grabbed some of the snacks from today and a movie from the DVD collection, starting it in the sitting room. The sun was beginning to set and I found it hard to focus on the show, thinking about where Nathaniel was, dreading that it was with her. A friend.
Lena and I watched two movies before she left, blaming it on work in the morning, but I think she felt bad for Nathaniel's absence. Once I was alone I did my night ritual, pulling on a pair of silk pajama shorts and a big sweatshirt that Nathaniel left. Nathaniel probably wouldn't come home anyways so why should I put in the effort, I thought bitterly, looking at the clock. He'd been gone for six hours; it was almost midnight. What was the point in getting dressed up for him if he was just going to ignore me? I wrapped up in the blankets on the couch, not bothering to get in bed, resting my head back on the arm of the couch, staring out at the bright city below.
I don't know what is up with himlately, but I don't like it. Thesecrets, the mystery, the late nights with friends,at the office-none of it madesense. I miss the attentive, caring,reliable Nathaniel. I don't know whomthis man is that I have seen lately, but I'm not sure if I want to marryhim. Not if he's going to lie to me. I want the truth.