Madi looks like she's about to cry. I want nothing more than to hold her. So I do.
I take the magazines gently from her hands and toss them onto the floor behind me before grabbing her hands and pulling her into me. Her skin is so soft, and her dark brown hair tickles my neck as she lays her head on my bare chest. I cross my arms over her back and she wraps hers around my neck.
My heart warms as she holds on to me and pulls me a little closer, sighing with momentary content.
After a minute she pulls away and I take her hand and lead her up to my room. She sits silently on my messy, unmade bed, and as I take a step closer to her, I see tears in her downturned eyes.
"Madi." She tilts her head up a fraction. "This isn't a big deal. No one reads this crap anyway. And anyone who does "care" will forget about it in a week. I promise."
She lifts her head up and glares at me. "Why do you care. Why are you being nice to me, Martijn? Pick a mood and stick with it. Don't be pissed off at me one day and then act like you're my best friend the next."
For once in my life, I decide to ignore her and plop down next to her on my bed, taking in a big breath. I have to tell her now. I have to. She would understand now, because of the tabloids.
"I'm here because I attacked a press member."
My head spins with the memory.
I was about to do a show in Amsterdam, my hometown. Not a huge show, but it was a pretty big deal to me. A huge deal. It was right at home, and Elise was with me. She couldn't wait to see me perform, and I couldn't wait to see her there in the audience.
I jumped out from the car and grabbed her hand, leading her through the throng of cameras and flashes. I heard yelling of all kinds of questions, but one voice stuck out.
"Martin! Is it true you had an affair with another woman? Martin, who is she? Does your girlfriend know you cheated on her? Hey, Martin's girlfriend! Honey, he cheated on you. Get away from that shitbag!"
I don't know if I was so hellbent on the night being perfect or if I cared so much that Elise knew I would never cheat on her or hurt her.
"He accused me of some ridiculous shit, I honestly can't even remember what, and normally nothing those idiots say has the slightest impact on me, but the next thing I knew I was pounding that fucker's face into the ground."
What's in the tabloids now about us right now will never compare to what was in every magazine the day after I made that mistake. And shortly after that, Elise decided I wasn't worth it, and so did Spinnin, so after about a month, I was moved to Boca Grande as a long and extended "time-out."
I can't tell Madi about Elise, I can't tell anybody about her, but who cares. I'll see her again someday. I'll get her back.
Madi
I can sense that there's something that Martijn isn't telling me, but he's already told me so much that whatever it is can't matter that much. I give him a weak smile through my probably tear-stained face.
"Thanks for telling me. I get it now. Can you stop being so grumpy now, though?"
He laughs. He actually laughs. At what, I don't know. Maybe relief at the situation. Or probably cause I'm not yelling at him anymore.
Martijn
"Only if you stop being grumpy, too."
I can't help but stare at her now. She looks so gorgeous in the morning light shining through my window. I feel guilt course through me again, the same way it does every time I think about how attractive Madi is.
But I can feel however I want. Elise ended it with me. She didn't care. I don't know if part of her believed what the photographer said or if the full reason was because I punched the crap out of the guy, but after that night, she decided she wanted nothing to do with me.
It occurs to me that maybe Madi might have a problem with me beating a guy up, but she seems to not want to pry anymore into my life. I appreciate that.
And damn, do I want to kiss her.
Madi
I can't believe he just opened up to me like that. I thought it would have taken a lot longer, if it happened at all.
"Thank you," I say softly, "And I'm sorry for misunderstanding you and your situation."
"It's okay. I'm sorry for being a grump. And thanks for understanding."
I hug him and suddenly everything feels awkward. What do I do now? I mean, I have a little crush on him, but he's waiting to return to his entire career: making music, touring, everything. How could I get in the middle of that? I guess I'll just have to settle for being his friend.
Suddenly I'm painfully aware of the fact that I'm sitting among his unmade bedsheets in my pajamas and he's wearing only sweatpants that are reeeally low (hello, Martijn's boxers!) and no shirt. I blush at the realization.
And of course he notices. "What is it?" I can't help it - my eyes flick down to where his sweatpants barely cling to his hips, and back up to his tan, toned stomach and chest, and back up to meet his eyes.
Unfortunately, he sees this and smirks. "What's the matter? Did you never ever see Matt or Harry like this?" Of course he has to know that I had.
I blush even deeper. "Yeah I did shut up I'm not a prude," I reply too quickly. "Then what's the matter?" He says coyly. "Oh, just shut up, Martijn," I roll my eyes and push him down onto his bed, the palm of my hand connecting to his muscular chest.
"No." He grabs my wrist and pulls me down... on top of him.
"Martijn!" I exclaim softly as my breath is knocked out of me as our chests connects. "Whaaat?" he mumbles. I inhale as his hands run leisurely down my sides, his fingers catching on the ridges of my tight tank top. Why was he doing this? And why does this feel so good. His hands running down my ribs, to my stomach -
I leap backwards off of him as he grabs my stomach to tickle me. "Martijn!" I squeak, laughing and gasping for air. "What the hell," I can't breathe, "Are you doing?" He laughs playfully (Martijn? Playful?) and I don't know what he was about to do next but suddenly his doorbell rings.
He drops his hands to his sides, maybe realizing what he's doing, and stomped out of his room. I follow closely behind.
The door swings open. Henry.
"Hi Harry! What's up?" Martijn greets the boy standing on his stoop. Henry smiles politely at Martijn, giving him the once over, before his gaze adjusts and his eyes land on me, standing behind Martijn in the door. His face turns pale as he looks between Martijn and me. I look back at Martijn and then down at myself. Oh no.
"Oh, crap, Henry, this isn't what it looks like. I just came over here -"
"No, Madi, save it. I don't really care. I saw the tabloids anyway. If that doesn't explain it, then this sure as hell does."
"Henry, please - "
"Bye, Madi. Sorry this didn't work out." He turns and walks down the steps and down Martijn's driveway.
Martijn moves to close the door behind him. I can't help it. I start crying. "I can't believe this is happening to me. What is going on, I don't understand. Stupid Matt and Dylan, those stupid reporters, stupid Harry... I mean... dammit..."
"Madi, it's okay -" Suddenly it feels like everything was all his fault. "This all started when you came here! You got in between me and Matt! You made it look like I was sleeping with you - twice!" I slam at his bare chest with closed fists, angrily trying to take my anger out on him.
He grabs my hands and flings them away from him. "Madi, you know that isn't true." He sounds hurt.
I whip his front door open and slam it behind me, standing for a moment on the front step, debating going after Henry. But the worst part of how I feel is that I don't even care that much that Henry had ended whatever we had. It was almost... too cliche.
I run through the garden and brush that separates my house from Martijn's, and sprint up the stairs and into my bedroom, lock the door to my room, and fall onto my bed, crying my eyes out.
When I can't cry anymore, I call Anna and tell her everything.
"Yeah, me and Hailey already saw the magazines... I'm really sorry, Madi. But I mean look at the bright side! The whole world thinks you slept with the world's biggest DJ!" she jokes. I let out a mirthless laugh. "Too bad the whole world doesn't know what a meddling piece of crap he is, huh?"
She laughs back. "Yeah, true. Maybe you guys just need a little break from each other or something. He needs to get more settled here and you need to get a break from him. Already."
"I think I need a break from all guys." I swipe down from the call screen on my phone so I can see my home screen, and tap on my Contacts app, scroll to Matt's name, and then tap on Block, and finally on Delete Contact. I tap back onto the call screen and put the phone back up to my ear.
"I just blocked Matt on my phone. Hopefully he gets the message and leaves me alone now." Anna squeals over the phone. "Good for you! Ugh, I'm so proud. My little girl is growing up so fast!" She exclaims in a falsetto tone.
I roll my eyes. "I'm rolling my eyes at you." She laughs. "Good. Don't ever take him back, okay? Promise me." I laugh. "I swear."
We talk for another hour about everything under the sun, and when we hang up I feel a lot better about everything.
There's a knock on my bedroom door. "Honey, can I come in please?" I jump up and open the door. "What's up, Mom?"
She holds up one of the tabloids. I roll my eyes. "I know. I've seen it and talked to like three people about it. And now I'm not talking to two of them anymore." And in response to her questioning look, "Martijn and Henry. Henry I met at a party and we went on like, two dates. We got along really well, too, but... whatever."
"I'm sorry honey. But this can't stand. What they wrote about you in here. It's all untrue, right?" I nodded. "Of course, Mom! But who cares anyway. Anyone who reads those that isn't from Boca isn't going to know that it's me. And they'll forget about it in a week anyway," I said, trying to sound brave while regurgitating Martijn's words.
"I guess you're right. Maybe you should just lay low for the next week or so. Just try not to do anything out of the ordinary, okay?"
Man, that statement is gonna bite me in the ass.