Chapter 32 - "Ti amo tanto, Bellissima."
Nathan's dad was laying the table as I came downstairs. I took a deep breath before making my presence known and heading up to the table.
"Would you like any help?" I asked him, trying to keep my tone light and casual.
He looked up at hearing my voice. "No, of course not, dear. Take a seat. You're the guest here."
I did as he said and sat down, while trying to think about what to say next. Should I bring up earlier?
"I didn't expect us to meet like that, Mr Hunt," I told him, deciding to take the plunge. Could things get any more awkward than they already were?
He just chuckled, passing me a spoon. "It's already forgotten. Have you settled in?"
My nerves settled. "Yes, thanks. The room is beautiful."
"I'm glad you like it."
The smell of Bolognese drifted in from the kitchen, and a rush of affection for Nathan barrelled into my heart. He knew I loved it. Had he suggested we eat it tonight? The affection was then replaced with sadness as I remembered our argument. Georgia came in and sat down opposite me, smiling. I smiled back, but there was a noticeable absence at the table.
"Where's Nathan?" his dad asked.
"He went for a walk," Georgia replied.
The two of them exchanged glances. It was obvious we'd argued. Nathan would never have abandoned me otherwise, especially on the first night of meeting his family.
"He should be back soon," his dad said confidently. "He's never one to miss a meal."
As predicted, a few minutes later, Nathan granted us with his presence. He took a seat next to me but said nothing, not even sparing a look in my direction.
"Where've you been?" Georgia asked him. She kept her tone light and conversional, but I could detect the accusation.
"I went for a walk," he murmured, pouring himself a large glass of wine. "The plane journey had given me a headache and I needed fresh air."
Sure enough, the meal was Spaghetti Bolognese. It was delicious, but the whole atmosphere at the table was tense. Nathan's dad and sister made conversation with me and I put a lot of effort back into it, asking them questions in return. Nathan sat silently, though, sulking. It did upset me because I'd never imagined our first evening being like this. He knew how nervous I was, so why was he leaving me alone for this?
Once again, I offered to help after dinner with tidying up the dishes, but Nathan's dad insisted that they could manage. As Georgia and I chatted in the living room, I stifled a yawn. She noticed, however, and smiled sympathetically.
"You've had a long day. If you want an early night, we'll more than understand."
I smiled gratefully. She was giving me a lifeline out of this awkward evening. Tomorrow, I'd be feeling better and things with Nathan would have hopefully sorted themselves out, too.
"Yeah. I think I might, actually," I told her. "I'll just say night to your dad."
I stuck my head around the kitchen door and explained how tired I was. Like Georgia, he understood and encouraged me to go to bed. As I was getting ready, I could hear raised voices in the kitchen. It was muffled, though, so I couldn't work out exactly what was being said, but I could tell it was an argument.
Despite going to bed early, I tossed and turned for hours. I usually had trouble sleeping in unfamiliar places, but the added anxiety after my argument with Nathan ensured that sleeping was impossible. At around one o'clock, the door opened. I kept my eyes shut, thinking it was just Georgia checking up on me. The door shut again and I believed that she'd left until I felt the bed sink down beside me.
"Are you awake?" Nathan whispered.
I sighed and rolled onto my back. "I can't sleep."
"Is that my fault?" he asked softly.
"Partly," I replied truthfully.
He sighed and fumbled under the covers for my hand. "I'm sorry, Isobel. I wasn't angry at you. I was angrier at myself."
"Why were you angry at yourself?" I asked him, twisting onto my opposite side so I was facing him.
He scratched his head as he stared up at the ceiling. "The amount of people I've been with. You can't honestly tell me it doesn't bother you."
I remained silent. I had a feeling this was going to be one of those conversations where we had to be honest with each other, even if it wasn't what either of us wanted to hear.
"No," I said. "I can't tell you that, because I don't like to think about the other girls who've had you. But I know it didn't mean the same as what you and I have, and it doesn't change how I feel about you."
"I'm glad," he murmured. "Because it's really not the same."
"So why were you angry?" I asked him.
"Your embarrassment just reminded me of how innocent you are."
"It's nothing to do with that." I frowned. "It's not to do with innocence. It's to do with modesty."
"But you are innocent, Isobel. In my eyes, you're innocent. I don't want to put you in the same box as all the others."
"You won't be. How can you say that when you know it'll be out of love?"
"Because I've never done it out of love before," he said quietly. "And I don't know how to."
It seemed strange hearing Nathan say that he didn't know how to do something sex-related. He was an expert. I remained silent for a few minutes as I watched him continue to stare at the ceiling.
"That's crazy," I said eventually. "How long have you been worrying about this?"
"A while." He sighed. "That's why I wanted to wait. I was hoping that it'd become easier. It's not, though. The more time I spend with you, the more I fall in love with you."
"But surely you must want to...?"
"Of course I want to! I just... I don't want you to feel like one of those other girls. The girls that I'm regretting ever meeting right now."
"Oh, Nathan...don't be like that. I love you for you. None of that matters anymore."
"You must have expectations," Nathan said.
"I don't."
"You must."
I leant over and kissed his lips in an attempt to shut him up. As our mouths connected, something different sparked inside me. Maybe it was because we'd been discussing sex and Nathan's emotions, and now I was feeling closer to him, but rather than pulling back, I kissed him again, deepening it. His fingers traced the length of my spine, settling just under my top. After a few minutes, we drew apart, and his hand slid up my body to caress my hair.
"I'm sorry about earlier," he said. "That wasn't fair of me. I knew how nervous you were and yet I still left you alone."
"Where did you go?"
"To the Colosseum."
"Deliberately or did you just end up there?" I tilted my head to the side, curious.
"I always go there when I need to cool down. I can just sit there and stare at this two-thousand-year-old building and forget about the stresses of modern day life. It's like being catapulted back in time."
Nathan's sensitive words touched me and I wriggled closer towards his body, resting my head on his chest. He brushed a kiss to my forehead, letting his lips linger there.
"I really like your family," I told him. "They're lovely."
"It's a pity you could never have met my mother, but it was her decision, I guess."
Nathan's mother had left the family when he was very young. He didn't remember her, and I think that's why he didn't resent her for it. Though he'd never admit it, I knew that he wanted to meet her one day. Not having a mother would leave a real gap in your life.
We didn't talk any more after that but there was a comfortable silence between the two of us. I genuinely believed that there was something about our relationship that made it too strong to break. We would always argue but, hopefully, it would never be fatal.
-
"How did you sleep?" Georgia asked me.
She was sitting at the table when Nathan and I emerged the next morning, feeding James, her young son.
"Really well, thanks. That room is amazing."
Nathan's dad then breezed into the room and presented me with a plate full of pancakes, complete with maple syrup.
"Bon appétit," he smiled.
I grinned back. "Wow. You don't get this kind of service in hotels!"
They all laughed. "Well, you're a special guest," his dad replied.
I smiled politely. "Thanks. But you don't have to treat me like royalty. I just want to be accepted."
"You were accepted before we even met you," Georgia assured me. "Trust me. Anyone who makes Nathan as happy as you do, is immediately a member of this family, whether they like it or not."
I smiled, reassured by her words. "Thank you. That means a lot."
"So, what are you both doing today?" she asked, tucking into her own breakfast after James was sufficiently fed.
"Isobel is getting her very own private tour of the city," Nathan announced. "Except, well, we won't be able to do the whole city in a day, and I want to take her to places that are off the tourist-trail... Your grand tour might take a few days," he said, directing the last part at me.
"Sounds great." I smiled. "I can't wait."
"Yeah. Eat up then. I thought we'd tackle the Fontana Di Trevi today," Nathan said. I did a double-take, pausing with my fork half way towards my mouth. Never before had he spoken Italian in front of me. He caught my eye and something intimate was exchanged between the two of us before he looked away. "Then the Vatican City tomorrow, as we'd need an earlier start for that."
"Are you eating lunch in the city?" his dad asked.
"Yeah, we'll eat in a café somewhere," Nathan replied, tucking into his own pancakes.
As soon as we were alone, back in my room, I grabbed Nathan's hand. "Why have you never spoken Italian in front of me before?"
"Ti piace, Bella?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Translation?"
He laughed softly. "Bella, I can hardly speak it. I can understand it and read it...and obviously my pronunciation is good because I've lived here..."
"Well, I think it sounded really sexy," I told him.
"Oh yeah?" he smirked, pulling me closer to him. "Maybe I should make more of an effort, then..."
"So, what did it mean?"
"Ti piace? It means, do you like it?"
I tilted my head to the side, thinking of how I'd reply in Spanish, and then giving it my best shot.
"Mi piace mucho."
He laughed and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Very close... Mi piace molto."
"Very close," I agreed.
"Guess what this means," he said. He put his mouth to my ear. "Ti amo tanto, Bellissima."
I smiled and pressed my lips to his, kissing him delicately. "I love you so much, too, Nathan."
"See!" He grinned with pride. "You'll pick up the language in no time! Now, get yourself organised. Today you're going to get the history lesson of your life!"
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Thank you for reading :)xx