/Bea/
The party was just a typical party, for me. Without a special thing lang, ganon. Or, I should say that I am just being out of place by all of them...all of these party goers.
"Bea, are you having fun?" Tita Margo asked me, while making her way to me. So, I managed to change my mood immediately, and I just smiled at her.
"Um. Yes tita, I am having so much fun..." But actually, obviously, unquestionably, admittedly and honestly, NOT. I'm so bored na... My dad and my kuya was with the other men across my table and my mom was with her kumares on the other side. In other words, I'm aloneY. Of course, I am not that friendly to approach some guests on this party, and make some friends. I'm definitely, too shy to do that creepy thing...
"That's good Bea..." Then she just smiled at me, and after non she set her back on me na. Nagsisi pa tuloy ako, dapat pala sinabi kong, I'm so bored na talaga... Wala naman kasi akong magawa dito, kundi mag-drink lang ng mag-drink. Trying different liquors, experiencing different flavors. 12am narin kasi, and 9pm pa kami nag-arribe dito...so definitely, I'm sleepy and NOT obviously drunk na.
"Ow Bea, may gusto nga pala kong ipakilala sayo..." She added, nung pagkaharap niya palang sakin.
"Um. Sino naman yun, tita?" I asked her with my creased forehead. Wala naman kasi talaga akong idea kung sino yun, diba?
I placed my drink on the table then I just looked at my tita with my question marked face.
"Wait, I'll just call her nalang. Okay?" Then she walked through a group of ladies near my table.
I hope this lady will save me from this deep boredom. And also, I hope that she's the one who will approach me first so that, it's not that difficult for me to start a conversation with her, drunk narin kasi ako. I'm on a good condition naman to talk, but I don't think parin...hehe.
I could see here in my place, that tita Margo was having chitchats with those ladies. Then after that, she grabbed a hand from those ladies then she turned to walk again through me.
"Bea, hija. This is my goddaughter, Sabrina..."
Then I stand after nung intro ni tita Margo, then that Sabrina stepped forward and stand beside tita Margo, for me to see her face clearly...
SILENCE.
Gahhddd. That Sabrina was splendid...she's like an angel. I know it sounds, really funny but base on what I can see right now...she really looks like an angel...sheshh. I can't change my focus now...
"Hi Bea!" Then Sabrina offered her hand to me, for a handshake.
Her smile was like a sweet view for my eyes. She's...really beautiful...Gosh, I'm like lutang na talaga. And just staring at her face can makes you stopped, and admire her for awhile.
"Bea?" Then she tapped my shoulder, in a playful way. Omy...
Shish. Lutang na nga talaga ako...nakakahiya na tuloy sakanya...di ko narin pala namalayan na umalis na si tita Margo sa harap namin. I felt that my cheeks got warmed. And also, I know that she noticed that. And goshh, grabe nakakahiya na talaga...and ngayon lang talaga ako nahiya ng ganito.
"Ow. I'm so sorry Sabrina..." Then I grabbed her hand immediately for a friendly handshake, para bawe lang yung kahihiyan. Then after non, I just smiled at her again to hide my rosy cheeks because of shyness.
"Can I sit with you?" She asked me while smiling. Gosh, how can I refuse with this lady?
"O-of course, you can Sabrina..." I'm so nervous na talaga...and alam kong halata yon sa actions ko ngayon.
"By the way, just call me Sab, Bea okay?" She said while sitting beside me. "Obviously, you're nervous. Why naman?"
"Sab, nice nickname. No, I'm not that nervous. You're just, very beautiful to sit with me..." Then I just chuckled after that. Then she smiled again, that SMILE was deadly na ha.
And with her white dress and just a simple makeup, her beauty really highlighted. She's more angelic and more fascinating than all the girls here in this party, except me. CHAROT haha.
"So, ikaw pala yung Bea..." She said while staring at my face.
"Well, obviously yah..." Then I heard her chuckle after non.
And, her chuckle was different to others, it's kinda cute chuckle. But, I know or I can say na...there's a chuckle that was more cuter than Sabrina's chuckle, it's from Jho. But as I've stated last night, I was in my moving on stage now. And acceptance was my first move, so I need to forget all about her, as in ALL.
And about that chuckle thing, my chuckle was the cutest among all the chuckles in this world, period. Lol haha. Charoot lang.
"Okay, okay. I mean, ninang Margo said that you're her pamangkin kasi. And she had also said that you're studying in ADMU, diba?" This is just a simple question from her, but because of her way of asking it to me, it's like a difficult one, seriously.
"Ow haha! Yes, I'm an atenista." I said, with my super proud face. "How about you?" I asked her, curious lang naman.
"I am studying in DLSU..." She answered while examining her cocktail, so cute...
"Ahh. Nice..." I muttered.
Green pala siya and blue naman ako, medyo contrast lang. Lol haha.
Then after kong mag-react, she turned to look at my eyes directly...ow, gahdd please help me... I'm melting na...
"Green ako and blue ka naman. We're contrast pala!" Then we laughed together.
As I realized that, our thoughts were actually the same. Reading my thoughts? Grabe, imposible pero nangyari. How can she do that?
SILENCE.
"So, Sab...do you have a boyfriend?" No malisya ha. I'm just asking her lang naman.
Then she focus herself again sa cocktail niya..
"Uhum, yes. And honestly, we're very complicated now, as in komplikado talaga...komplikado pa sa komplikado..." She said, then I just nodded lang.
So meron na pala siya. Pero komplikado daw, buti nga sila complicated lang e...kami nga, ala na talaga. Walang wala na...
"E ikaw ba Bea, do you have a boyfriend?" She asked.
BOYfriend?! Ay grabe naman. Kailan pa ba naging BOY si Jho? I mean...Gahdd.
"Um. Ala na..." Yan lang talaga yung nasagot ko, e totoo naman kasi, diba?
"Ala na? You mean nagkaron ka na talaga ng boyfriend?" She asked me with her creased forehead.
"Boyfriend? Ah. Eh. Oo naman, boyfriend...bakit parang nagtaka ka pa?" Then I chuckled after non. Medyo fake nga lang.
Oo, nagka-boyfriend na nga ako noon. Pero nakakailang kasi, diba? Di ko naman pwedeng sabihin sakanya na, nakipag-break sakin yung GIRLFRIEND ko, ng hindi ko alam na break na pala kami. Baka naman layasan pa ako neto.
"Nagulat lang ako, syempre you look like an innocent kasi e..." Then she smiled, hanggang sa naging lines nalang yung eyes niya.
Naalala ko tuloy si Mads. That girl, she's a real friend for me talaga. Last week, she called me from the states. She asked me what happened between me and Jho, she's really worried about that 'BREAK UP'. Kahit wala naman talagang naganap na ganon. "Pag uwi ko ng pinas, I will go straight to your house ha? You need me, I think. Love you Bea!". Siya nalang talaga yung hindi ako iniiwan, kahit pa tinaboy ko na siya dati...
"Ako? Inosente? Sab, baka nga mas may experience pako kesa sayo e." I said while wiggling my eyebrows.
"Inosente ka pa! Prove mo nga kung hindi talaga.. " I don't like it, when they were saying na I'm an inosente pa, kasi I'm not like that naman talaga e. Marami na kong alam...
"I've got my first kiss na kaya!" I exclaimed, such a kid, di nagpapatalo.
SILENCE.
She was shocked. I know, nakaka-shock naman talaga yun e. But, I am just defending myself,na hindi nako innocent...
"Talaga?!" She asked. Grabe naman siya, parang wala naman akong karapatan.
"Oo nga! Ikaw siguro, hindi pa..." I teased her. Ganti lang.
"Uh. Eh. Isabel! Shut up ka nalang..." She said. We'll going to have fun with each other talaga, I think. And, duh? She called me, ISABEL?! Sounds very feminine kaya nun.
"You know my name huh? Stalker pala kita e, Sab." I teased her again, ang cute niya kasing mainis.
"I know your name because...duh? Why should I explain, you're a stranger parin sakin 'no..." Now, she's pouting na. She's inis na talaga, pero cute parin naman. Lol
Yeah, STRANGERS pa nga kami sa isa't isa. But, I think, hindi naman magiging mahirap saming dalawa na mag-click with each other. Our personalities were actually the same...
"Ouch naman. I'm stranger parin pala..." I said while pouting. Showing na I'm hurt. Kid's thing, yah know...
"Yep, you're still a stranger for me. We have to know each other first muna, maybe tomorrow. Are you free ba?" She asked.
"Tomorrow...um. Yes I'm free, ide-date mo ba ko? You need to ask me first if agree ako. Date mo ko?" Again, kalokahan ko lang talaga, haha.
"Seryoso Bea? Lasing ka na ba talaga? Date mo mukha mo." After non, she rolled her eyes on me. Pikon na talaga.
"Sab naman. How can I date with my own face?" Then I pinched my both cheeks. Then after that, I pouted again.
"Gosh. Nakakabaliw ka na, basta tomorrow sa mall. 9am ha, pag turtle like ka, bahala ka..."
And as my eyes blinked, she's not in my sight anymore...
"Ang bilis naman, bawal tumututol? Ang brutal naman ng anghel na yon..." I murmured.
And after non, my eyelids became heavier na. And then yes, the last thing I could remember, was...my dreamland...
×××××××××××
/Bea/
"Mom, I'll be late na po. I'll just eat my breakfast nalang sa mall." Then I kissed her left cheek quick.
"Who's the special someone of my daughter now? Parang nawala agad yung hangover mo para lang mapuntahan siya ha..." She said with her crossed arms and creased forehead.
Shessh naman. Diba pwedeng friend lang to? Special someone agad? Geeez naman.
"She's not that special mom, but I think she'll be..." Then her eyes became bigger, I think because of the 'SHE' word. "Just kidding mom! Bye!" Then her eyes rolled at me. After non she complained na to my dad, I can hear her parin naman e.
"Your daughter was always with a SHE, can you please teach her how to be with a HE naman?" And because of that natawa nalang talaga ako sakanya. I am still here inside our house kasi, just wearing my rubber shoes. The after non, I stand na, ready to walk. But I heard my dad kasi, kaya I just listen to him lang...secretly.
"I know my daughter Det, Bea knows what's the best for her naman. And hon, let her learn by her own...we're just here to support her, and more than that...I think hindi na tayo dapat pang makialam when it comes to her own life, own world...we just need to let her plan and do what her heart says..." That's my dad! My saviour, my best friend, my crying shoulder, my everything!
××××××××××
/Bea/
Driving for me was so boring, when you're ALONE.
I remembered when Maddie was still my best friend, I never felt this feeling, that driving was boring. Because, she never run out of stories, jokes and even gossips from her mouth.
Kamusta na kaya yung babae na yun? The last time she called me kasi, last week pa eh. But I hope, she's the one na, who'll going to save my days, months and even years from hurting again, hurting again because of Jho...
Ting!
1 message from 09********* (???)
-Hey Bea! This is Sab, here sa may Star Bucks. See you!
...
Or maybe, Sab can also help me to forget her. To forget how much I loved her, how much I wanted to hug her everyday, how much I wanted to touch her, to see her, and to kiss her...
"Shet..."
My tears flowed out my eyes again, because of her. But this time, I'll just let myself to cry, to let my tears free, to let myself get hurt because of her, to drain myself, to be strong enough to face my weakness...forgetting.
"I love you Jho...but I need to forget you...now...tomorrow...forever."
My LOVE for Jho, was like TEARS of mine, ENDLESS, and MEANINGFUL. Wipe it over and over again, it will just betray you. How much you wanted to take your tears away, it will just stay. Just like my love for her, she pushed me away, but I was still here, hoping...
But also, tears need to stop sometimes, tears will stop whether you like it or not. Tears will stop from falling, when you're not capable of feeling the pain again. When you have realized that the thing that was hurting you was not the worth for your tears.
My LOVE for her will stop, TEARS because of her will also stop, when the right time comes and of course...when I was not able to feel the pain again, when I was not able to remember the reasons why I loved her...I will stop, I know. I will stop from loving her...
××××××××××
Hi guys.
Sorry kung matagal yung update nato. I'll try na mag-update parin kahit papano, sabay na kasi studies kaya mahihirapan. Thank you po ulit!
And nga po pala, nagkaron po ng konting problem sa ud ko nung nakaraan yung chapter 17, na-cut po kasi yung mismong chapter nayun so, ginawa ko nalang pong FLASHBACK sa chapter 18, please read niyo parin para mas magets niyo. Hehe
-@ponema